UPDATE: PETE GRIFFIN on bass and MENNO de BOER on keys.

MORE

Photo by Adam Jones

CHEERS! from your band mates and countless others.

ORDER

Photo by Al Jones

(With mnemonic triggers on the legendary Dry-Erase board.)

Photo by LaraLee

Chick-O-Stick provided by BMB

For those who might be interested, my own contributions to the DARKLORE series thus far include: VOL 1: "INCREDIBLE AS IT MIGHT SEEM" ( A different take on the alleged Roswell crash/retrieval based on a rare book written in 1948 by a British Intelligence Agent), VOL 2: "DMT & MAGICK" (The Neurochemical Basis of Magick and the Paranormal), VOL 3: "ABOVE KOOK STATUS" (The Strange Case of Morris K. Jessup and the Varo Edition), VOL 4: "DISCOVERED A TOMB, RAIN IN THE EVENING" (Observations Regarding the Mystery of Rennes-le-Chateau), VOL 5: "DARK SEED: THE ABC's OF THE SIRIUS MYSTERY", and VOL 6: "ELUSIVE FULCANELLI and the HERMETIC MAGISTERY" (Unmasking the enigmatic 20th century alchemist).

Keeping in mind a certain metaphoric phrase that begins with "Don't" - to those Diabolicals camped out at the base of Bugarach (so much for spam filters!) while awaiting "alien salvation" from the Mayan doomsday - as far as I know, there is no new Tool album title or track listings to be divulged (officially or unofficially) at this point in time. However, what I can tell you (and your cousin) before the black triangle appears near the pentacle of mountains, is that the band's Dry-Erase board is getting crazier and crazier looking with what I presume to be notes and cues of their latest musical arrangement. Either that or some metagifted (indigo?) larvae have sneaked into the loft and gone to town with colored markers. Sometimes it's really hard to tell...

Okay, again, bearing in mind that metaphoric phrase used by 'Shakespeare' and others, although there isn't much Tool news this month (unlike the healthy dose fans are used to getting in these newsletters), as I write, MERCH has been busy listing some left over 2012 TOUR POSTERS in the SHOP on www.toolband.com. So far, I've seen posters from Florida, New Mexico, Charlotte and... Uncasville, Ct. But nothing from L.A. as of yet... (That's right, there were tour posters for sale at the rehearsal sound stage).

What else? Oh, as I posted on Danny's website (www.dannycarey.com), here's the LINK to some interviews and video clips of the Tool drummer on the Vic Firth site (which Danny neglected to mention to me, but Matt from www.fourtheye.net didn't). After enjoying these clips, keep an eye out for a forthcoming interview with Danny for Paiste. Wait, you're not done! Seeing how you're already visiting his site (and didn't buy a 2012 tour poster), might I suggest going directly to Danny's STORE to purchase a SIGNED (in glorious purple ink, no less) VERY LIMITED REVISED and EXPANDED 2ND EDITION of "THE WICKEDEST BOOKS IN THE WORLD." Copies of the sold out 1st edition are now going for in excess of $350.00 on eBay, and once the 2nd is sold out, to obtain the book, you will be at the mercy of others (think about that - others!).

Attention all Tool crew members from the last tour: To show their appreciation for your hard work, a special gift from the band has been shipped and should be arriving on your doorstep shortly. In the past you've received a Tool barbecue set (with the lyrics to "Die Eier von Satan" printed on the chef's apron), which found its way to eBay, a Tool snuggie, which found its way to eBay, and something else that slips my mind due to the ravages of age and insobriety ... which found its way to eBay. Are you now ready for some amazing red things that resemble loungewear, but are usually called by a more familiar name, which I'm not going to mention in case you don't want to know what they are until you open the box... Which will no doubt find their way to eBay.

In Tool-related news (see the difference?), mark your calendar that VOLTO! will be performing ultra-fusion at THE MINT here in Los Angeles on SATURDAY, MARCH 31. Hopefully, Danny will be in good spirits for this one after a K.U. victory in the afternoon. If not, hopefully there will be some good spirits behind the bar to ease his pain. As for the progress of the new Volto record, "Evil" JOE BARRESI has finished working his magic, and the mix should soon be on its way to be mastered by Bob Ludwig up there in Maine with all the lobsters. For those of you who have e-mailed about ADAM JONES doing the album's artwork, as I understand it, although Adam may be contributing some original artwork to the project, the majority will come from an original piece that Danny currently owns. And although there is a great story associated with this artwork (with regards to a famous 1960s rock group), let's see if it indeed is used for the cover, etc. before sharing it with the rest of the world (via Danny's or the Volto! website).

Also don't forget that tabla master ALOKE DUTTA will be performing and giving a lecture (maybe even telling dirty jokes!) at ALEX GREY's COSM in New York on APRIL 1, 2012. A rare chance to hear Aloke on the east coast.

Finally, CHEERS to those attending the launch for the publication of Kenneth Grant's (early) novel "Grist to Whose Mill" at Treadwell's (more info at www.lashtal.com). Please let me know if any calling cards with telltale iridescent interstellar goo turn up. I'll continue to trudge through "Etidorpha" for the umteeth time until a copy makes its way across the pond.

HAPPY TRAILS

A limited number of copies of the revised and expanded "Wickedest Books" SIGNED by the AUTHOR and DANNY CAREY are available HERE

Photo by BMB

DISCOUNTED TICKETS $25, DAY OF THE EVENT $40
Contact Keith.Schism@gmail.com for more info

Aloke Dutta on a recent visit to India

Photo by BMB

Photo by Heather McMillen, I presume.

REVISED, EXPANDED LIMITED 2ND EDITION

Glossy large-format softcover with over 60 full color photos of rare Crowleyana from the collection of BMB and DANNY CAREY (with additional material not included in the 1st edition).

ALL COPIES SIGNED by the AUTHOR and DANNY CAREY (who wrote the book's foreword)

A VERY LIMITED NUMBER OF COPIES AVAILABLE OF THIS NEW BOOK

FOR SALE in the STORE at www.dannycarey.com. (click MEDIA).
PRICE: $39.00

Photo by Rynne Stump

THE BAKED POTATO
3787 CAHUENGA BLVD., WEST
STUDIO CITY, CA. 91604

CPT KIRK ON WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 29

CPT KIRK (KIRK COVINGTON, SCOTT TIBBS, RUFUS PHILPOT and SHANE THERIOT) will be performing at the jazz club on WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 29. The show will also be a CD release party, and admission is $10.00. More great L.A. players.

THE BAKED POTATO
3787 CAHUENGA BLVD., WEST
STUDIO CITY, CA. 91604

Photo by Dustin Rieseberg

VOLTO! UPDATE: There are samples from the forthcoming VOLTO! record on the band's FACEBOOK PAGE.

THE BAKED POTATO
3787 CAHUENGA BLVD, WEST
STUDIO CITY, CA. 91604

Wow, that Waitangi Day sure sneaks up on you! But, while many are celebrating in New Zealand, here I am stuck at my desk working on the February newsletter. Have an Aubby Gobby Nana muffin for me, though, will you mate! Anyway, closer to home, let's see what's going on in the world of Tool since we last checked on them... Hmmm... that much, eh! Actually, before sharing what I believe many of you will find to be a very interesting e-mail (seriously, as it was written by a neuroscientist and involves "10,000 Days"), I'd like to respond to some of the e-mail and comments on fansites about January's offering (see "Newsletters" - January 2012 e.v.).

Why do you suppose it is that some Tool fans are so negative? Bleak winter surroundings? Medications? Bee in the bonnet? When the small winter tour was first announced, some were bummed out about the news, thinking that a new tour was merely another distraction that would keep the band members from working on the new record. When I countered that the tour would be the perfect opportunity for all four band members to work together on new material (which they have been, with very positive results, thank you), these same people then started complaining about the set-list most likely being the same as the previous tour. Once they found out that the band was, in fact, playing several songs that they haven't performed live in many years, these same people (for some reason) decided in their minds that Tool were only doing this as a token offering before calling it quits for good. That's right, a mini tour in the secondary markets with a few older tunes and they might as well break up. JEEZ!!! Nothing could be farther from the truth. They all realize that December 21, 2012 is fast upon us (NOT to be taken as a release date or promo for dependable Chevy trucks... out of gas).

As another example of some of the negativity out there (and, again, I'm only speaking about a very small percentage of fans), when I decided to pepper the last newsletter with some common "roadie slang", (because the focus of much of it pertained to the backstage area), when I mentioned the term "feeding the fish", some took this as being of a derogatory nature - meaning that the band members no longer carried about their fans. They even tried to connect this with some recent tour posters that contained drawings of fish. Whatever the actual meaning of these drawings is (if anything?!), I can tell you that they have absolutely nothing to do with any negative feelings towards the band's fans or audience. Let me repeat this for those sitting way at the back of the class huffing dog jenkem and/or melted magenta crayons. The posters featuring the fish have nothing to do with any negative feelings towards the band's fans or audience. The term "feeding the fish" is nearly as old as rock music itself and is what roadies call it when the band tosses out souvenirs to their audience at the end of the show in appreciation for being a great crowd. As examples of other roadie slang that I used in the newsletter, there's "bog" (referring to the toilet on a tour bus, though, in the case of Tool, at least, not to jenkem!), "bar carp" ("Goldfish"-like snack crackers), "clag" (tools or small items without cases), and bunk sock (which hopefully needs no translation). For those who haven't figured it out, the DayQuil-induced January newsletter is essentially about how so many people will go to such great lengths to try and acquire a backstage pass, not realizing that even if they SOMEHOW managed to get one, a Tool after show is not the Shangri-la many think it to be. Far from it. In fact, you'd have a better chance of meeting Maynard at a Buford, Wyoming Laundromat than backstage at a Tool show. The newsletter was also about the powerful attraction of a particular casino slot machine, which via continuous subliminal messages beckoned me away from my friends at the Mandalay Bay concert. (It wasn't a pill given to me by security, after all - it was that oil tycoon, Ted, and the promise of striking it rich with nickels!)

But, getting back to the roadie lingo, let me share with you a story of what I once "fed to the fish" back in my prog-rock days. This wasn't a guitar pick, plastic bottle of water, or even a ripe orange autographed in purple ink. No, this was an actual 'fully functioning' analog synthesizer... and one that is now considered to be extremely rare and highly sought after by vintage synth aficionados. Many of you know that Danny has an amazing collection of rare synthesizers. These include Moog modular behemoths, Buchla oddities, EMS systems the size of a VW microbus, Serge, Roland, Emu, all housed in massive cabinets, as well as seemingly dozens of older-generation Oberheims and those science project ARP 2600s in all three colors. But what you might not know is that this synth museum of his lacks the early 1970s Italian made Davoli Davolisint analog monosyth. Although this little shiny black 2-oscillator wonder is now generally considered to be a good candidate for the worst monophonic synthesizer ever made - lacking as it does any filters, mixer, envelope generators, etc, it is nevertheless highly sought after by zealots of anything with a pitch lever (which, in the case of the Davolisint, comes in the form of a funky metal stick called "extend" - never mind that when you pull down on it, the pitch sweeps up!). Why, then, is the Davolisint so collectible? Surely not because of its pitiful single waveform, predetermined amount of portamento, or Farfisa organ-like vibrato. Nor that its oscillators could be detuned for a moog-like portliness (using a little imagination, that is). No, it's because so few were produced.

But guess who once owned one? Yep, I most certainly did - having purchased it brand new when they first came out. It didn't take long, however, for me to realize the Davolisint's many limitations (did I mention a single waveform and fixed portamento?) So, I soon set my sights on a Mini-moog. When the joyful day finally arrived, I drove to "Ye Olde Music Shop" in Marissa, Illinois, a store once owned by Bob Heil (inventor of the Heil "Talkbox" that Adam uses on "Jambi."). There, I traded owner "Fast" Ed Bigger my Davolisint and $1,100.00 in cash for a brand new Mini-Moog Model D (which was priced at $1,495.00 at the time, meaning he had given me a trade in value of $350.00 for the meager Davoli!). Happy I was with the Mini, and when I returned to the store about a year later to purchase a Moog Sample & Hold unit (instead of a ribbon controller - damn it!), the owner (Ed Bigger) walked over and picked up the Davolisint and handed it to me in its small travel case. "Blair, take this piece of shit with you, okay. I don't want the fucking thing in the shop anymore!" So, once again, for better or for worse, the Davolisint was mine...

But what about "feeding the fish", you ask? (Well. hopefully at least one of you asks...) A few months later the band that I was playing keyboards in was performing at Fort Leonard Wood in the Missouri Ozarks.

Although the army installation that served as basic training for infantry troops was nicknamed "Fort Lost in the Woods of Misery", our booking agent was correct when he told us that playing there was like dying and going to heaven. This was mainly due to its large stage, lots of free beer, and the fact these men were starving for entertainment (but mostly because of the free beer). Long story made shorter: during some prog-rhapsody (our last song of the night), after a quick solo on the decidedly inept Davolisint, I unplugged the synth with its black tin casing and crude metal pitch lever and tossed the miserable thing into the raucous crowd, never to be seen or heard again (by me). This (or one just like it), as things would have it, is the ultra-rare vintage analog monosynth that Danny and other collectors today so arduously seek...

E-MAIL SUBJECT: "10,000 DAYS PUZZLE..."

"Dear Blair, you might recall that we met a couple of times at Volto! Baked Potato shows 1.5 years ago. I am a neuroscientist that chatted with you about vision science, tryptamine elves, and more. After one of the shows, Danny recommended, based on my interests, that I read "An Homage to Pythagoras". Since then I have been doing some work with contemplative geometry using Robert Lawlor's book "Sacred Geometry" as a workbook. After some time, the pieces began to fall together, my contemplative eye has widened, and the story continues.

For the purposes of this email: I believe that I have solved the 10,000 Days puzzle, to whatever extent the word 'solve' can mean here, since the puzzle this album alludes to has been the eternal quest of mankind.

10,000 Days as an album maps on the Kabbalah Tree of Life (TOL). There are several layers:

A) The album has 11 tracks, each of which corresponds to a specific Sefira on the TOL. Although the TOL is read from the top down, I list it here in the order of the album tracks, with the corresponding English translation and meaning. (A) presents the basic structure that holds true across further interpretation, while (B) and (C) iare more of my own perspective on the songs and album and how it all ties in with mystical traditions.
1. Vicarious - Malkut, "kingdom" - (1st chakra); tribal energy; 12 tribes of israel; 12 zodiac signs; 12 apostles; connection to nature, environment, rhythm of physical life; baptism
2. Jambi - Yesod, "foundation" - (2nd chakra); communion with others; vitality; creative force of life;
3. Wings for Marie, Pt. 1 - Hod, "majesty" - (3rd chakra); integrity; majesty of God; confirmation; honor code with oneself
4. 10,000 Days (Wings, Pt. 2) - Netzah, "victory", "eternity", "endurance" (3rd chakra); endurance; commitment
5. The Pot - Tif'eret, "adornment", "balance" - (4th chakra); heart; compassion, love; harmony
6. Lipan Conjuring - Da'at, "knowledge"
7. Lost Keys (Blame Hoffman) - Gevurah, "judgement", "concealment" - (5th chakra); power of judgement; the right use of one's will
8. Rosetta Stoned - Hesed, "kindness" - (5th chakra); will power, voicing a confession
9. Intension - Binah, "understanding" - (6th chakra); the divine understanding and intelligence of God; intention is developed here in the mind
10. Right in Two - Hokhmah, "wisdom" - (6th chakra, third eye); the energy of wisdom; contact point between mind of the divine and the personal mind; takes wisdom to contact God
11. Viginti Tres - Keter, "crown" - (7th chakra); Divine consciousness

B) The overarching theme that first came to me in the album was that the album begins in a state of division (Vicarious - "carnivore and voyeur"; Malkut; first chakra; survival) and ascends up the spiritual ladder to a state of Unity in Cosmic consciousness (Viginti Tres; Keter; the crown chakra). Then there are 3 pairs of tracks: Wings 1+2, Lost Keys + Rosetta, Intension + Right in Two, which match up perfectly.

When the pairs are taken as one on the same level, the sefirot correspond to the seven chakras and seven sacraments in the Vedic and Christian traditions, respectively (reference: "Energy Anatomy" by Caroline Myss). The meaning of each sefira also matches up with the rough energy of each song, as noted above. In more detail, Vicarious is the energy and rhythm of the tribe and connection to nature; here the lyrics present the schizoid nature of man in a world that feeds on tragedy. Jambi is the foundation and center of vitality gained by communion with others, here referring to both the sun (Son in Christianity) and perhaps Maynard's own son on the personal side of the coin. Both Wings pieces are majestic odes to the endurance and divine "victory" of Judith Marie as well as Maynard's personal sense of integrity bestowed to him by Marie as well as his own endurance through her ordeal of 10,000 days. The Pot was for a long time for me a stand-alone track in the album, a kind of adornment; it seemed to bring harmony to the rest of the album in some uncanny way. Funny enough, the translation of Tif'eret is "adornment" and implies balance, which in retrospect match my feelings exactly. This track establishes harmony, albeit in a kind of helium-belting rant in an androgynous voice that seems, perhaps, to blend the polarized feminine and masculine sides of the TOL. It's reference to getting high integrates Lost Keys and Rosetta Stoned, as well as provides the cauldron that acts as an alchemical conversion point between the higher and lower sefirot. Lost Keys translates to "concealment", and along with Rosetta Stoned represent the throat chakra, which parallels with the song's protagonist voicing a confession. The "kindness" translation attributed to Hesed (corresponding to Rosetta Stoned) is actually referring to the right use of one's will; how one will use the power of judgement, hopefully for expanding compassion and kindness, according to the mystical traditions. Intension conveys a sense of understanding (Binah) of how the manifest world works, as conveyed by the lyrics that run forward and backwards; intention is developed in the mind in conjunction with understanding and the intelligence. Right in Two is a track that conveys wisdom (Hokhmah), and together with Intension represent the 6th chakra, or third eye. Through wisdom and understanding, God or Divine Consciousness can be contacted from the manifest realm. The Divine Consciousness is represented by Viginti Tres (Keter), which translates to "crown" and correlates to the 7th chakra, from which the TOL begins its downward descent.

(C) Track 6, Lipan Conjuring, is at the center of the album, and its track number ties into its position on the TOL, surrounded by a hexagon. Tef'eret (The Pot) is also at the center of a hexagon and functions as an exchange/balance point. Incidentally, The Pot's alchemical implication corresponds with the sacred geometrical significance of the hexagon as the defining crystal structure of organic compounds (the benzene ring). In Da'at, all the other sefirot in the TOL are united as one. Accordingly, this track is in a sense the central ceremonial fire from which the other tracks on the album reveal themselves; it is the conjuring up of duality so that the Divine Light (emanating from pulses in Viginti Tres, Keter at the crown) can descend and be seen through the crystallizations of the individual tracks. Indeed, a wave-like pulsation is found throughout the album, which to my mind is the cosmic pulsation from Keter. Da'at is not commonly conveyed in depictions of the sefirot and it is not a proper sefira; it is all of them as one. Da'at serves as the connecting point between the sefirot closer to the Source (later tracks) and the sefirot further down in manifestation that deal with emotions (earlier tracks). Furthermore, Da'at is situated in the so-called "Abyss" of the TOL, a kind of no-man's-land between the archetypal and manifest (Real and Unreal, respectively, in Aleister Crowley's words) that acts as a mirror or reflection point for higher and lower halves of the TOL. Hence, the placement of Lipan Conjuring at the center of the album is appropriate: it is from here that a recognition of the higher level patterning of the album begins to be apprehended.

The track ordering of the album is one sense indicative of the songs' spots on the TOL, but in another sense, the ordering is nonlinear and hyperdimensional; it must be contemplated from a standpoint of sacred geometry, mysticism, and repeated listening so that musical patterns and motifs can elucidate the mystery of the Tree of Life.

If my interpretations are not the purported "solution" the 10,000 Days puzzle, I hope that they offered you an entertaining and thoughtful read. If nothing else, 10,000 Days-apart from being an incredible album that has brought me much bliss and divine communion in listening-has been a wonderful link between my own musicianship, yoga, and studies of consciousness. I would love to hear your feedback regardless of whether or I've lost the keys to unlocking this puzzle." Best regards, Gabriel

MY REPLY:

Great job, and it only took a neuroscientist to figure this out. Thanks, my friend!

E-MAIL SUBJECT: "WINE INQUIRY"

"Hey Blair, I have a bottle of 2006 Chupacabra Red and a bottle of 2008 Nagual de la NAGA that I would love to have signed by Maynard while he is in town for the Atlanta show on Feb. 8th. How in the world can I make that happen?"

MY REPLY:

It's a long shot... a real long shot, but you might try finding a security guard (hours prior to the show starting) that works with TOOL (not the venue!) and ask him/her if they would please take the bottles to Maynard to have him sign them and then return them at a pre-arranged time. Again, it's a long shot, and you'd probably be better off just enjoying the show without having to worry about getting the wine bottles signed... but you never know unless you try. The one thing is not to be upset if it doesn't happen. The band members are quite busy, even before the show starts,,, (working on new material!).

HAPPY TRAILS

I'm guessing that Rynne took this photo.

INFO

Photo by Rynne Stump

www.gearboxcomic.com

I'll be adding more photos to the ToolArmy galleries.

Photo by SHELEE CHANCELLOR

Photo by SHELEE CHANCELLOR

Disclaimer: Tool is not affiliated in any way with the tribute band, "SCHISM."

Photo by Adam Jones

Photo by Rynne Stump

A NOTE FROM CHET: "This is the sequel to last year's highly acclaimed and attended (the most attended opening night in Copro gallery's history) sculpture group show, "Conjoined- in 3D". I have curated this show and asked my favorite sculptors and dimensional artists to participate. You can see the online preview here and all the info is below. Hope you can make it out!"

PREVIEW

(with still more to come!)

(Cake built by ARIA RESORT)

And while you're there, check out the SexTapes' album, as well as the band members' shared musical history in their bios (one of which, I believe, I wrote).

Photo by BMB

UPDATE

On-sale: Saturday, January 7th.

LISTEN

My own contribution to Volume 6 attempts to unmask the elusive 20th century alchemist FULCANELLI, and includes information that has recently come to light concerning his true identity, as well as offering generous hints as to the occult reality encoded in Europe's Gothic cathedrals.

DARKLORE

SOFT COVER:

AMAZON US

AMAZON UK

LIMITED EDITION HARDCOVER:

AMAZON US

AMAZON UK

IN VOLUME 6:

* Cat Vincent examines the birth of a modern monster meme: The Slenderman.

* Mark Foster unlocks the mystery of the 'Trial Passages' beside the Giza pyramids.

* Robert Schoch evaluates the chances of our Sun wiping out modern civilisation.

* Lynn Picknett and Clive Prince lift the veil on the esoteric foundations of The Royal Society.

* Neil Arnold goes in search of sewer monsters.

* Mitch Horowitz points out America's mystical history.

* Nigel Watson shares a case of 'alien contact' that he investigated.

* John Reppion sheds some light on Liverpool's forgotten megalithic history.

* Martin Shough looks into the strange case of 'double suns'.

* Blair MacKenzie Blake discusses the mystery man of 20th century alchemy, Fulcanelli.

* Greg Taylor points out the astronomical archetype behind depictions of gods and kings in ancient cultures.

* Jack Hunter heads to the dark side of anthropology and finds the weirdness that doesn't often get talked about in academic circles.

As with the other 5 issues, Volume 6 makes for an excellent (and affordable) holiday gift, albeit a slightly 'dark' one...

Jan 14 - Reno, NV @ Reno Event Center - ON SALE NOW (DEC 16)
Jan 15 - Las Vegas, NV @ Mandalay Bay Center
Jan 17 - Tucson, AZ @ Convention Center Arena - ON SALE NOW
Jan 18 - Albuquerque, NM @ Tingley Coliseum - ON SALE NOW
Jan 20 - Dallas, TX @ Verizon Theatre - ON SALE NOW
Jan 21 - DALLAS, TX - ON SALE NOW
Jan 24 - Toledo, OH @ Huntington Center - ON SALE NOW
Jan 25 - Toronto, ON @ Air Canada Centre - ON SALE NOW
Jan 26 - London, ON @ John LaBatt Centre - ON SALE NOW
Jan 28 - Boston, MA @ TD Bank North Center - ON SALE NOW
Jan 29 - Camden, NJ @ Susquehanna Bank Center
Jan 31 - Uncasville, CT @ Mohegan Sun Casino Arena
Feb 1 - East Rutherford, NJ @ Izod Center
Feb 3 - TBA
Feb 4 - Charlotte, NC @ Bojangles Coliseum
Feb 6 - Ft. Lauderdale, FL @ Bank Atlantic Center
Feb 7 - Orlando, FL @ UCF Arena
Feb 8 - Atlanta, GA @ Gwinnett Center Arena - ON SALE NOW

PUSCIFER tickets ON SALE tomorrow, DECEMBER 16th

Photo by Matt Groller

MORE INFO HERE . And as a friendly reminder, Aloke is now accepting new students (teaching in person in Los Angeles, and via Skype worldwide).

For those who can't find the store, here's a direct LINK to order a drumstick or two.

SOLD OUT

MORE

On SATURDAY (DECEMBER 3rd), VOLTO! returns to the 'tator' for TWO SHOWS. Come down and listen to the songs recently recorded at the loft - featuring the very talented Jeff Babko on keyboards (More info about this in the November newsletter.) Here's a direct LINK to a VOLTO! reserve ticket page on the Baked Potato website.

OTHER LINKS: https://www.facebook.com/events/220385028032064/ also, VOLTO! is playing on saturday dec 3rd at the potato.... https://www.facebook.com/events/265647083485434/

At a time when the headlines are dominated by frenzied Amish beard clippers, whooping cough and Occupy Wall Street (Forget that - how about Occupy the Playboy Mansion, all you 69 per centers!), rather than discuss the thawing permafrost, Sandusky, or baffling Gamma ray bursts, how about some exciting TOOL-RELATED NEWS... That's right - while most of you were still digesting your Thanksgiving bird, highly acclaimed recording engineer and producer (not to mention vintage candy aficionado!) 'Evil' Joe Barresi was seated at the mixing console in the band's home studio - the only evidence of the holiday being a bowl of pumpkin-pie cheesecake Kit Kats that was placed there by one of the girls from Tool's business management. Believe it! Hours after your cranberry sauce was still jiggling, members of the band had gathered at the loft to begin tracking. For these VOLTO! sessions, the place looked like a gear-junkie's wet-dream, and with the 'evil' one deftly punching in bars on the remote control, as the night wore on, song after song -in all their musical complexity - were being captured on tape (Yes, tape! For this record, a Studer A827 "Gold Edition" analog tape recorder had been trucked in.) By the time of my much-anticipated arrival on Tuesday, almost all of the tracks were finished, as were the holiday confections. With the loft now littered with empty Tommy's burger wrappers and spent cans of Red Bull, as guitar riffs processed through an antique Echoplex wailed over the KRKs, stories were being told about Danny recently making a daring escape in his orange Lambo from Mastros steakhouse in Beverly Hills (where a side of lobster mashed potatoes goes for $30.00) - the entire thing caught by TMZ's cameras... although the crowd cheers are probably still lying on the proverbial cutting room floor. And now, with you being down to your last leftover turkey sandwich, with but a few overdubs to add, you can bet that the boys will be back at it tonight...

But what about TOOL's new album, you ask? Are they still making progress with the writing and arranging sessions? Will they be working during the holidays as a Gamma ray-mutated pterosaur tramples on foreclosed gingerbread houses? Absolutely! (for the quintillionth time), only with a festive pear-cinnamon cider replacing the Volto! Red Bulls. Actually, I've even seen part of a video from the band's next record - albeit this occurred during a strange time-slip that I recently experienced while pushing a shopping cart down one of the aisles at my local Ralphs (a place where cracks in paratime somehow seem to happen regularly). While looking for *********, I saw some guy wearing a programmable display (UV) TOOL 'video' tee-shirt. Glancing at it, I could hear the haunting sonic structure of one of the new songs accompanied by the bizarre, vibrant, Adam Jones imagery (yes, on the soft, flexible 'screen' material - which, of course, was made from the best quality cloth-plants). Wait a quark-flipping minute! Had I pushed the screeching cart many years into the future? Entranced by the dude's shirt, I watched as purplish amoeba-like things with a tangle of feelers morphed into intensely-colorful creatures. These were frightening, writhing chimeras and other mind-boggling bio-oddities of a demented (er... creative) mind. Were these some kind of "Saucer Wisdom" inspired piezoplastic receivers transmitted from Adam's thought-forms, or had he simply recorded one of his favorite nightmares?

(Had one of the band members themselves appeared in the video, I would have checked to see if any hair was blowing in the wind - just one of several tell-tale signs of a recorded dream.) Either way, how amazing were the images! (Cooler than watching a night janitor at McDonalds on fully charged quantum dot batteries in the flicker of strobe lights).

As I continued to observe the bedizening mental cartoons - snippets of some intricately detailed hyper-animation - I noticed that the guy wearing the Tool shirt was NOW accompanied by band-member semblances (decoy band-member semblances, I wondered?) Recognizing me, the Danny 'semblance' raised a half-full polyglass of some glittering black eagletail. As I was about to acknowledge this wonderful example of encrypted electromagnetic vibrations, I quickly found myself back at the Ralphs of November, 2011 e.v. And guess what happened next? You guessed it. I've heard of MIB types attempting to eat their green Jell-o with a straw, or even sticking a fork into a glass of Dr. Pepper. Hell, I've even seen one of the black hat boojums pay for a Whopper at Burger King with a handful of gleaming silver dollars - not to mention the dude who ordered a "Coke and Olives" at my neighborhood pub. But what this MIB-type did was really a dead giveaway. How so? Well, while at the checkout counter, along with his groceries, 'he' PURCHASED (there on the spot) Ralphs gift cards for $20.00 each (PLUS activation fees), which he wanted to use to pay for everything. Noticing the puzzled look on the cashier's face, I quickly left my stuff on the counter and hurried out of the place... wanting desperately to get back to my enchanted green ball... I mean, to my apartment...

Finally, to address all those Tool tour rumors. A few days ago, I met with the band's management in order to discuss this very thing. Although I wasn't sure if there was any validity to the rumors, I nevertheless told their manager that a small winter tour might not be such a bad thing. However, given my age, I didn't think that I'd be able to attend too many shows as a guest (at least, I wouldn't be able to attend them with the same vigor that I used to). I certainly didn't want to travel on the tour bus, as the bunks hurt my back. Also, my excessive snoring might keep some of the early riser band members awake at night (particularly Danny and Justin). And then there's the issue of the bad weather - both here and in Europe. Some dates in Australia would be okay, but with the recent discovery of an albino trapdoor spider in the land DownUnder, I'd have to rule that out, too. Perhaps some shows in the southern states might be best. Maybe even Texas? How about just a show or two right here in Los Angeles? That would certainly make things easier for me. I might even be able to party like I used to in the good old touring days. Better yet, still, what about an electromagnetic radiation transmitted (as theorized by Rudy Rucker, among others) - reconstituted/manifested Tool concert (including personality wave guests with all-access laminates) anywhere on the entire planet? Now, that would be great!.. Especially with those programmable display tee-shirts available at the Merch booth...

Check out another photo at www.dannycarey.com

HAPPY TRAILS

Photo by BMB

SCOTT TIBBS- keyboards
MIKE HIGGINS- guitar
JIMMY EARL- bass
KIRK COVINGTON- remo prod/ mustafa stik

Photo by Eric Trammel

photo by ADAM JONES

Photo by BMB (probably blurred due to Roswell plate 'frequencies')

"BUBBATRON" ALSO PLAYING AT THE BAKED POTATO

JOHN'S latest musical project, BUBBATRON, will be performing again at the BAKED POTATO on THURSDAY, DECEMBER 1st. A great line-up featuring CHRIS COLEMAN on drums, TRAVIS CARLTON on bass, and KIRK COVINGTON on keys & drums and jokes. PLUS SPECIAL GUESTS... Here's their facebook link: https://www.facebook.com/events/220385028032064/

I've posted (or will in a minute) a couple more photos of Justin in the TOOLARMY PHOTO ALBUMS. Thanks, Shelee!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_P5JGKP6EBM

Interview:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=424W7DlmYbI

(Note: For those who might recognize the painting in the background, believe me when I tell you that that particular table was NOT... I repeat, NOT requested.)

Photo by BMB

by

CHARLES D. LAUGHLIN PH.D.

A NEW BOOK BY DAILYGRAIL PUBISHING

"Communing with the Gods presents the most comprehensive account of culture and dreaming available in the anthropology of dreaming, and is written by an anthropologist who is also trained in neuroscience, and who is himself a lucid dreamer and Tibetan Tantric dream yoga practitioner. The book examines the place of dreaming in the experience of peoples from diverse cultures and historical backgrounds. 'Communing with the Gods' touches on shamanism and anthropological theories of dreaming, 'paranormal dreams', lucid dreaming, and what we know about how the brain produces dreams and why.

A comprehensive theory of brain, culture and dreaming is presented that explains the neurobiological functions of sleep and dreaming, the evolution of dreaming, the universality of, and cultural variation in dream elements, and the role of dreaming as a system of intra-psychic communication. This theory is then applied to an examination of dreaming in modern society. The book concludes by discussing how modern dream-work may ameliorate wide-spread alienation, spiritual exhaustion and despair in modern society."

Amazon US:

ORDER

Amazon UK:

ORDER

Cover art by ADAM SCOTT MILLER

BACCHANAL SUNDAYS

11. 20. 2011

9:00 PM $7.00 21+

Del Monte Speakeasy
(underneath Townhouse Bar)
52 Windward Ave.
Venice, CA 90291

THE BAKED POTATO
3787 Cahuenga Blvd., West
Studio City, CA. 91604

Also keep in mind the MONDAY NIGHT HALLOWEEN JAMMMZ at the 'tator.'

Photo by Rynne Stump

www.puscifer.com

ADRIAN BELEW POWER TRIO, TONY LEVIN's STICKMEN & KING CRIMSON FINALE

MORE

CHET ZAR- "The Left Hand Path"

Also showing: DAN QUINTANA- "Tinsel" and MARK GARRO- "Apocalypservice"

Copro Gallery

Bergamot Station Arts Complex
2525 Michigan Ave , Unit T5, Santa Monica , CA 90404
Ph: 310/829-2156

www.coprogallery.com

Here's the LINK

And don't forget that the band will be making their television debut on the LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN on SAMHAIN/HALLOWEEN (MONDAY, OCTOBER 31).

Photo of spud by Danny's bud, Eric Trammel

Also check out their new VIDEO for "MIND GAMES."

noiseplusmusic.com

www.collide.net

http://youtu.be/FMjsbzdv5sQ

PUSCIFER

ORDER

www.heathermcmillen.com

There are also COS tees now available at ETSY

LISTEN

ORDER

FACEBOOK

"RAGGEDLY ANDY" is:
Charles Altura - guitar (from Stanley Clarke's band)
Hans Zermuehlen - keyboard (studio/touring kingpin)
Matt Rubano - bass (from Taking Back Sunday)
Andy Sanesi - drums (from Black Baptista)

THE MINT
6010 WEST PICO BLVD.
LOS ANGELES, CA. 90036

www.radio23.org/ccr/

www.mikeywheels.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqyOdFaiWl0=youtube_gdata_player

ROLLINGSTONE.COM

THE MINT
6010 WEST PICO BLVD.
LOS ANGELES, CA. 90036

www.themintla.com

COREY HELFORD GALLERY
8522 WASHINGTON BLVD.
CULVER CITY, CA. 90232

GALLERY

INFO

MORE

http://korinfaught.com

THE BAKED POTATO
3787 Cahuenga Blvd., West
Studio City, CA. 91604

The grill gets fired up around 9:00 (big licking flames at 9:30), with the band going on at 10:00.

INCLUDES MAJOR HARDWARE and SOFTWARE UPGRADES

MEMBRANE SWITCH tECHNOLOGY
(that now picks up even the slightest ghost hits, as well as rim shots)

Software that includes a RETOOLED USER INTERFACE
with EXPANDED SOUND DESIGN CONTROL

... and OVER 500 NEW INSTRUMENTS

SHIPS NOW DIRECT FROM http://mandaladrum.com

INFO

Thursday, September 8, 2011, at 8 PM
At: BLUE NILE Club, 532 Frenchmen Street, New Orleans, LA 70116-2024
Telephone: (504) 948-2583
Website: www.bluenilelive.com
Admission: $10
LINK

Monday, September 12, 2011, at 8 PM

At MOMO's, 618 West 6th Street #200, AUSTIN, TX 78701
Telephone: (512) 479-8848
Website: www.momosclub.com
Admission: $10
INFO

Tuesday, September 13, 2011, at 7 PM
At The DAZZLE CLUB, 930 Lincoln Street, DENVER, CO 80203
Telephone: (303) 839-5100
Website: www.dazzlejazz.com
Admission: $15
LINK

A New Collection of Court Ordered Salty Dance Hits

"JEROME, ARIZ., June 24 -- Puscifer, the project ringleader Maynard James Keenan describes as "Twin Peaks in the desert," will release Conditions of My Parole on Oct. 18 via Puscifer Entertainment. The first single from the release, Man Overboard, is now available via iTunes and other digital service providers."

"The Verde Valley is an intrinsic part of what Puscifer is," explains Keenan. "It's equal parts Twilight Zone, Mayberry and Road Warrior. The ghosts & aliens, Republicans & liberals, cowboys & artists living side by side with hostile creatures such as scorpions, spiders, rattlesnakes, javelinas & hippies are just a few of the spicy ingredients that give Conditions of My Parole its unique flavor." Conditions of My Parole was recorded in Jerome, Ariz. this spring with tracking done amidst the wine barrels from Keenan's Caduceus Cellars. The album was produced by Keenan, Mat Mitchell, and Josh Eustis. Contributing musicians for the new album include the aforementioned Keenan, Mitchell, and Eustis as well as Carina Round, Juliette Commagere, Matt McJunkins, Jeff Freidl, Gil and Rani Sharone, Jonny Polonsky, Sarah Jones, and Jon Theodore. Puscifer's debut album, the infamously censored V is for Vagina (2007), charted on both the rock and dance singles charts simultaneously (the full album at #9 on the Billboard Rock Album and "Cuntry Boner" at #1 on the Dance Singles Chart). V is for Vagina entered the Billboard Top 200 at #25. The band turned multimedia troupe carried out Keenan's vision of an evening that seamlessly combined music, recorded skits and live character sketches over two U.S. tours which were described as an "X-rated episode of Hee-Haw" (Spin) and "a performance art spectacle equal parts comedy cabaret show and guerilla theater" (Las Vegas Review Journal). Keenan has often stated in interviews that his vision for Puscifer required nearly two decades to pass before the technology was available to produce the live performance."

A North American tour kicks off in early November with more information to come.

PRE-SALES ARE NOW BEING TAKEN AT www.puscifer.com IN THE "COMING SOON" CART

www.puscifer.com

facebook.com/puscifermusic

twitter.com/puscifer

photo by BMB

Aloke with Ben Sherazi and Chris Pitman at a recent barbecue. Photo by BMB

And don't forget about the MONDAY NIGHT JAMMMZ at the club. LEE WERTMAN joins John tonight on guitar. As always, musicians are encouraged to bring an instrument and join in during the second set.

www.collide.net

Wednesday, August 17, 2011, at 8 PM (doors open at 7:30 PM).
At: Wheel of Wellbeing, 1575 Westwood Blvd. #303. Te: 310-477-8833.
Tickets: $20 in advance. Available only at www.alokedutta.com.
$25 at the door (CASH ONLY).
ALL AGES SHOW

VANCOUVER B.C., CANADA.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011, at 8 PM (doors open at 7:30 PM).

At: Blue Frog Studios, 1328 Johnston Road, White Rock, BC V4B 3Z2. Tel: 604-537-6376.
email: kstmana@gmail.com
Tickets: US $27 in advance. Available only at www.alokedutta.com. or CAD $25
CAD $30 at the door (CASH ONLY).
ALL AGES SHOW

PORTLAND, OREGON

Friday, August 26, 2011, at 9 PM (doors open at 8:15 PM).

At: DATURA, 1847 E Burnside, Portland, OR 97232

Tickets: $15 at the door (CASH ONLY).

RHYTHM CONCEPT WORKSHOP IN PORTLAND, OREGON

Friday, August 26, 2011, at 4 - 6 PM.
At: Beacock Music and Education Center, 1420 SE 163rd Avenue, Vancouver, WA 98683
www.beacockmusic.com

Cost: $40 (includes Rhythm of Tabla booklet).

ALOKE is also scheduled to be the special guest on Rynne's internet radio show ("CHILDREN OF SATURN") on AUGUST 15th. I'll post a reminder as the show gets closer.

www.wkradio.tumblr.com

Featuring: Mat Mitchell and MJ Keenan, Telefone Tel Aviv's Joshua Eustis, Bat For Lashes drummer Samantha Jones, vocalist Carina Round, Ashes Divide percussionist Jeff Friedl, singer song writer Jonny Polonsky.

From the upcoming release:
"Conditions of My Parole"
A new collection of court ordered salty dance hits.
Scheduled to be released on Oct 18th, 2011.
Just in time for the Rapture V2.0
(3-D artist Meats Meier is in the process of doing a video for this track. More info about this soon)

Our first item of news, morbid as it might be, concerns pieces of Danny's flesh that were carefully scraped off the muffler of one of his prized motorcycles during a recent mishap in his driveway. I'm very excited to announce that these 100% authentic pieces of scorched flesh from one of the world's greatest drummers will be available for sale in the ToolArmy SHOPPING BAZAAR (or should I say BIZARRE?) sometime later TONIGHT. As this is a LIMITED EDITION of only 150 individual samples (each packaged in a clear envelope for easy display), those who are interested are advised to check the store regularly. Orders are strictly limited to ONE PER TOOLARMY MEMBER, and each package also comes with a certificate of authenticity. Once these are sold out, there will be no more produced (unless, of course, he has a similar mishap). BTW, Danny's leg is healing nicely, and he's already back to pounding away on the drums. In other news, prior to the nasty muffler burn, D.C. was bitten on the finger by a (very) venomous spider at the rehearsal space (I've seen black widows there, but Danny isn't sure what type of horror got him), which, I'm happy to report, has also since healed nicely. And NO, we're not selling the scab... (Yep, thought about it too late.)

Assuming that you know all about the A PERFECT CIRCLE tour and new PUSCIFER TRACK ("MAN OVERBOARD"), other than another TOOL WEBSITE MEETING on Friday, DANNY being the guest drummer for the Monday Night Jammmz (JULY 25), and on-going TOOL WRITING SESSIONS at the loft, there's not much news this month. Therefore, let's answer some of the more relevant e-mail, shall we...

(Opening a bottle of Red Stripe)...

SUBJECT: "TOOL AND WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT?"

"Hello Sir, I do not know why I thought to write this to you now, but I will be brief. A few years ago a couple of my pals and I dropped some acid. We next played Aenima, then turned on the tube to watch some cable. "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" was on, but we could not hear the audio because we were listening to Aenima. The two synced together perfectly, like the old Pink Floyd and "Wizard of Oz" trick. It was amazing. I was curious if this was intentional or some miraculous quinky dink. Thank you for your time, and no I am not crazy. I just have not heard of anyone ever discovering this and was hoping, by some fat chance, that I was the first."

REPLY:

P-p-p-please!.. Alright... finally (Ding. Ding. Ding.) I was beginning to wonder if the puzzle contained in the "10,000 Days" packaging would ever be solved. Congrats! Now, if you and your wastoid buddies would have had the audio turned up, you might have heard what Donald called Daffy during their piano duel... Anyway, congrats again! But don't go jumping out of any two-story windows... unless, that is, you get the go-ahead from a jeweled seahorse with a monocle and tiny pith helmet floating around in the garden.

SUBJECT: "NEW ALBUM"

"Hello, how much longer will we wait to have Tool's new album?"

REPLY:

I'm guessing until it's released.

SUBJECT: "ADAM JONES (WWE) 7/4/11"

"I was at home, and decided to turn on the TV. The World Wrestling Entertainment has been doing pretty well, post WrestleMania. So, I wanted to check-in. I'm watching for about 30 minutes, and they were entering into there second to the last segment. They position the cameras to the announcement table. Just as I'm about to change the channel... I notice this guy, who has long salt & pepper hair. I'm pretty sure, that man was Adam Jones. If it was indeed him... It makes me happy that know one knew who he was. There was no CG banner, with his name underneath him. I'm pretty sure there was no BIG announcement! They can still pretty much walk around freely. I dig it!"

REPLY:

And exactly how much acid did you drop? Just kidding, bro. It definitely WAS Adam walking around freely. He's a big fan of that... sport. (Honestly)

SUBJECT:"LOSE YOUR DELUSIONAL OSMOSIS"

"I have been using a "carbon copy" analog delay pedalto generate vibrational frequencies in the chicago sector. I hypothesize the message originating out my window from my violin amber sunburst PRS Hollowbody/100 W Mesa Nomad Head can take shape in various forms. Entering the ear canal of the receiving subject, one may carry the message to certain locations - and transmit message to other recipients eventually reaching intended target. Perhaps the light frequencies observed are the result of sonic science. Whatever frequency your niche is."

REPLY:

Why are so many acid freaks sending email this month? This isn't the "Sugarland" website. Yes, perhaps the light frequencies observed are... but DON'T go jumping out of that window... unless, of course the sparkling elf on a cardboard box of ice-cream cones gives you a nod whilst crapping tiny sepia-colored herds of cows in an uproarious meadow with dancing squid eyes and singing rubber nickels...

SUBJECT:

"I really want to try Maynard's wine, but my Whole Foods does not carry it. I've expressed my overwhelming desire to work at the whole foods in Arizona just for the chance to thank Maynard personally, but unfortunately, I cannot afford the trip. But my dream will never die. Hope this message reaches you, and wish with all my heart to one day meet the band. Until then, I will continue to spiral out and reach for whatever will bewilder me."

REPLY:

You might attempt to summon Zagan from a directory of spirits such as the "Goetia." According the popular grimoire, being the 61st spirit, Zagan can turn blood into wine, or even water into wine. But even if you're not successful, what ever you do - don't do anything stupid like smoking pot or, trendy Grocery gods forbid, stealing anything from the shelves. You don't want to wind up slinging yogurt, do you?

SUBJECT: "NUMEROLOGY"

"Hey Blair, I was wondering if you knew anything about numerology, and what your opinions on it and numbers such as the life path and expression numbers were. I barely know anything about it, but just looked it up and found the both of these numbers were 11 for me. What are your thoughts, if any, on this number 11 in particular? I appreciate your time in reading this, and don't really expect a response, just felt like asking for your thoughts. Thanks."

REPLY:

Numerology! I'd rather watch back-to-back episodes of Animal Planet's "Hunting Bigfoot..." in a room full of Squatchers enveloped with gloom-farts from pepperoni sticks, stale Cheez-its, and Chocolate Yoo-hoos than engage in any form of numerology... I'd rather go bowling with a broken leg and frozen butternut squash than get caught up in that stuff... Hell, I'd rather eat a slice of dingleberry pie with a bevy of Miami blue hairs at Perkins Pancake House after Sunday church service in Ponca City, Oklahoma than engage in any form of numerology... Numerology! You mean like 5222012?..

SUBJECT: "CAPTAIN AMERICA"

"So I saw the Captain America trailer and was blown away that my favorite band was in the trailer of one of my favorite Marvel characters. I was wondering if they are featured in the movie is well, and if anyone in the band is a comic fan. I know that people probably say this all the time, but I honestly am one of Tools biggest fans. Not to say I worship them per say but there is just something about their music that connects with me no matter what mood I am in. Thank you for reading this and for the reply, if you choose to do so."

REPLY:

Sir, do you really think Paramount has that kind of money? And I've never heard anyone ever suggest that they're one of Tool's biggest fans.

SUBJECT: "ADAM ON MONDAY NIGHT RAW?"

"Was watching wrestling (WWE) Monday June 27th and I'm almost positive I spotted Adam behind the announcers at the taping. Can u confirm?"

REPLY:

I seriously doubt it was Adam Jones from Tool. Monday is one of the Tool writing/arranging days...

(Opens another bottle of Red Stripe after pausing to watch "At Home With Venetia." Never miss that show!)

SUBJECT: "CHORONZON'S VOICE/DARKLORE"

"eHey I'm totally addicted to Darklore, the writing in it is superb. After reading your article in one of them referring to Choronzon's voice emanating out of the "cosmic hiss" it occurred to me that that may have been what inspired Viginti Tres. I was also wondering if anyone of the Darklore writers including you would write an article on Drunvalo Melchizideck. Maybe not much to prove there, but from a phenomenological standpoint the fact that so many people are doing the Merkaba and he is one of the few spiritualist today who seems to have been influenced by Hermes/Thoth. Anyway love your writing and wit, thanks."

REPLY:

Now that you mention it, I'll bet a canned cheeseburger that it was the inspiration for Viginti Tres! But even if not, it's still a good plug for Darklore. Sort of... (A little wit there for you, my friend.)

SUBJECT: "THE LATERALUS TOUR INDRODUCTION"

"Greetings, Blair. I was curious to know what the name of the song and/or artist was that Tool used to open with during their Lateralus tour back in the early 2000's. I believe it was Tuvan throat-singing. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!"

REPLY:

I don't know. Can you tell me what those "Heaven's Gate" people were going to use their $5.75 for - on an alien spaceship? Get the idea? I'm very busy here...

SUBJECT: "THE MAGICAL 13TH STEP..."

"I believe my final test of patience is at hand; Whole Foods fired me on the 8th for "theft" and smoking pot on company property, which I admitted to without hesitation. Now, if my skills in civil disobedience, philosophy, grammar, and synesthesia serve me well enough, the formal dispute I am writing will go pretty far. Wish me luck. I know you're all right by my side on this one, grinning, with your third eyes open wide. :-)"

REPLY:

Oh, damn... Maybe saying that you stole the pot from ANOTHER Whole Foods employee might be your best defense... and that you only flamed up the dobbie because of having to deal with all the anxiety from... people honking in the crowded parking lot, trying to squeeze their Prius between the spaces so they can get their reindeer pate... Yeah, the parking lot... I'll give it some more thought, but I think the parking lot is the key thing here...

SUBJECT: "TOOL PRE-SHOW MUSIC"

"I've heard some tuva music before tool shows. Can you tell me what specific musician plays this music. Thanks."

REPLY:

Great question. I'm fairly certain that it was a sample of a tuvan-throat singer from southern Siberia recorded on a Nagra ARES-PII+ in a stinky tunnel in Amsterdam. I believe the fellow's name was Bob-o, but NOT the world famous "Squatch" hunter. Thanks for asking, and don't forget to take your sheets out of the freezer tonight.

SUBJECT: "WEBSITE"

"1990 called and they want their website back."

REPLY:

I have absolutely no clue what this person is talking about, but he should be expecting a text message from a mediocre comedian saying that he wants his 90s catchphrase insult back. BAM!

SUBJECT: "TOOL'S COPING WITH"

"I'm not here to ask questions that cannot be answered nor am I asking questions I have no business knowing. I just was wanting to know a little bit about how tool is spending the summer finishing up their album with maynard on tour with a perfect circle? How dows that work? I saw apc on the thirtieth of june in kent and it was awesome just as the first night in seattle last fall. But I couldnt help but wonder what is the rest of tool doing while maynard is working with puscifer and apc. How are they recording?"

REPLY:

Well... Actually, to be quite honest, it's a pretty sad situation. Pathetic, actually, with the three of them just sitting around at the rehearsal space with guitars detuned and amps buzzing as two of them attempt to pick up dropped guitar picks with their dirty toes, and one repeatedly loosens and tightens a wing-nut as if frozen in a perpetual loop. When they're not moping about, sucking on Pixy Stix and looking for Black Widows, to pass the time, they play Tiddlywinks and Chinese Checkers on Robitussin. That or get into heated arguments about recent episodes of "Real House Wives of Orange County." It's a damn shame too, because all the while the Dry-Erase board remains full of meaningless squiggly colors and bloodied bashed flies. Occasionally, in a desperate attempt to draw inspiration, they will closely watch the Arrowhead water guy as he picks up empty bottles, or listen intently to the sound made by crumpled cellophane bags of potato chips. Sometimes they listen to "Undertow." Recently, one of the band members grabbed a shotgun and blew a considerable sized hole in the wall out of sheer frustration. Finally, having run out of Red Bulls and horse radish, Danny decided to go fishing (more info on www.dannycarey.com), with Adam following suit by hanging out at WWE wrestling events. Justin flew to England. And now that they're back, it's the same old story. You'd think they would continue jamming, writing, and arranging new material, knowing fully well that Maynard would add vocals, lyrics, keys, etc., as well as contributing to the entire process with outstanding results. But NO... intense arguments about the "House Wives of Orange County" continue as they sit on their stools with earplugs, wondering if "The Green Lantern" sequel needs any music for its trailer...

... But then something truly amazing happened. While arguing over who gets what Tiddlywinks squidger (each anticipating a good squop, and Justin even thinking about a possible PENHALIGON!), suddenly the jagged cracks in the plaster from the recent shotgun blast inexplicably (nay, miraculously) formed the magical seal of Paimon (yes, the Goetic sigil that resembles 4 human figures standing next to one another). Seconds later, amid a flourish of trumpets and the mighty crashing of cymbals, Paimon emerged through the, now, spectral hole in the wall, seated upon a glittering dromedary and wearing a magnificent divers-colored robe redolent with arcane perfumes. As trumpets played a crazy, jazzy anti-dirge, the bloodied, swatted flies on the Dry-Erase board quickly underwent a remarkable transformation. With the dried blood vividly reddening before being absorbed back into the repulsive things, the flies became re-animated, taking on a healthy iridescence before darting away in the crescendoing agitato. In the same restorative instant, the colored squiggles changed into meaningful chord progressions, time signatures, and recognizable musical cues (such as "glue 8", and "straight 4"). Soon, ideas began to flow, and it wasn't long before the rehearsal space was filled with heavy guitar riffs and drums, an arrangement with sublime resolution and transitions. In short, the sound of Tool... But, to answer the question: they haven't started recording yet...

HAPPY TRAILS

www.alokedutta.com

iPhone photo by BMB

VOLTO!

DANNY CAREY
KIRK COVINGTON
LANCE MORRISON
JOHN ZIEGLER

THE BAKED POTATO
3787 Cahuenga Blvd., West
Studio City, Ca. 91604

July 22nd - August 19th
Opening Reception: July 22nd , 7pm-11pm

"Last Rites Gallery unveils it's newly renovated space with opening receptions for two highly acclaimed artists, Chet Zar and Craig LaRotonda. This will be both artists' second solo shows at the gallery."

MORE INFO

www.amphetaminereptile.com

VOLTO!

DANNY CAREY
KIRK COVINGTON
LANCE MORRISON
JOHN ZIEGLER

LINK

LA WEEKLY

MORE

Photo of Adam and Korin Faught by Colin Young-Wolff (Courtesy of the Corey Helford Gallery)

Corey Helford Gallery

8522 Washington Boulevard
Culver City, CA 90232
(310) 287-2340

WEBSITE

MORE INFO

Calling all patriotic multilayered concoctions to the JULY 4TH MONDAY NIGHT JAMMMZ/BARBECUE at the BAKED POTATO in STUDIO CITY. That's right, in addition to live music by some of L.A.'s best players, grill-master Mike will be working wonders under the stars on the back patio (we're talking real charcoal here). So bring an Independence Day inspired side dish (baked beans?) and/or musical instrument of your choosing and join in on the festivities. If anyone can find some Heinz blue ketchup (eBay?), bring it for the dogs. We're also going to need an American flag cake, watermelon, and firecrackers for Mikey (the other Mike). For my part, I'll try to talk John and the boys into playing a ballistic Hendrix-esque rendition of the Star Spangled Banner. "Volto" certainly has enough vintage guitar effects to create 'rockets' and 'bombs' - all of things that make this country great! (Add to that the baked beans that someone will bring and you've got the makings for a version of the anthem better than Roseanne Barr and Jose FeliCIAno put together!) Possible (rare) special appearance by the Silver Coleman. We hope to see you there!

INFO

www.thebakedpotato.com

June 15th - Portland @ Rotture
June 16th - Seattle @ The Comet
June 18th - Vancouver B.C. @ Funky Winkerbeans
June 23rd - Calgary, Sled Island Fest @ Royal Canadian Legion #1
June 24th - Edmonton @ The Starlite Room
June 25th - Vancouver B.C. @ The Railway Club
June 27th - Portland @ East End

And a nicely done video:

WEBSITE

MAY 22, 2012 REVISITED

As promised in the May (2011) Newsletter, on Friday, May 27th, I braved Maricopa Sheriff Joe Araio (not to mention black-hatted Alzur agents) and drove to Sedona Arizona with hopes of meeting first-hand interplanetary avatar ZEMKLA JR (from the planet Selo in the "Bernard's" star system). The purpose of this meeting, as I mentioned in the last newsletter, was to double-check the calculations used by the cosmic intelligence as instrumented by the primary terrestrial mental channel in determining the release date for the next TOOL recording. Using an antique battery charged in the 1950s by members of the Aetherius Society (that I recently purchased on eBay), once I had ascertained the correct coordinates and other pertinent information, I encountered ZEMKLA JR. in his Reticulan "jumpcraft' near the vortex at Bell Rock. (Skeptics might want to check the position of Ophiuchus [The Serpent-Bearer] at the time of this contact!)

Prepared to be chastened for using the three "confusers" - alcohol, tobacco and coffee, upon seeing ZEMKLA JR., the first thing that I noticed was that he indeed did resemble a "Missouri Mexican" wearing an astral tennis outfit. And as it turned out, there was a good reason for this. As was almost immediately evident (there's quite a difference between a tall boy Tecate and a crystal glass of Plobium!) the person 'impersonating' the Glorious One was, in fact, a Mexican-American from the "Show Me State." Although I don't feel it is necessary to reveal the exact reason for the deception, I will tell you that the imposter was more interested in another form of currency than green trading disks. With this in mind, any predictions about a release date should be regarded as highly dubious at best (if only the old radio evangelist would have double-checked his "Judgement Day" calculations, perhaps no one would have committed suicide because of his [erroneous] prediction). As is the case with the so-called Biblical Rapture, it would appear that when it comes to the release date of the next TOOL album, NO ONE KNOWS THE DAY OR THE HOUR. Therefore it could be later than May 22, 2012, or sooner. Or it could be that (somehow) I was right on the money. We'll just have to wait and see...

The one thing that I did find particularly interesting about the May 22 (or May 15) release date in my (obvious) parody of Harold Camping and his doomsday prediction is that so many people actually took it seriously, even though I clearly stated that the info was obtained via trance-contact from an interplanetary avatar from the city of Farlon on the planet Selo in the Bernard's star system! After posting the newsletter, I thought that a handful of ToolArmy folk might believe it (the same trusting, shall we say, highly enthusiastic types that believed that Maynard quit the band after finding God, which was posted on the site as an April Fool's joke many years ago), but to see it given credence on so many other websites, it's not too hard to see why Mr. Camping had so many believers. And even if some people thought that the whole ZEMKLA JR. thing was just a "clever" or "cryptic" way of announcing the release date, what should have been a tip-off right away was my stating at the beginning that "no matter how many new TOOL tunes are complete, I will personally guarantee that the new CD will be released on May 22..." How could anyone (other than that pleasant deliverer, Obelisong)) possibly know the release date at this stage of the writing process!

Finally, there was the Taco Bell mention, which prompted some people to take out their Tool decoder rings in order to tease out some relevant meaning. Well, the truth of the matter is that this is exactly what happened once I had finished writing the newsletter, and decided to make a run for the 'border.' At the time I thought it was both amusing and a bit bizarre. Yet, for whatever reason, synchronicities like this happen to me all the time. So put your Tool decoder rings away... (for now).

E-MAIL

SUBJECT: TA SITE

Q: "Hey Blair, how are you? As you mentioned you keep getting mostly 'when the f**k is the new album going to be done?!' kinda' questions, I thought i'd ask what we might expect from the 'updating' of the site? Will we see more Occult & Esoteric themes in the artwork & layout? All in all how's it coming along? Waiting,.. patiently..."

A: Although I am very reluctant to comment on any progress being made on upgrading or, better yet, developing a brand new website, I am FINALLY fairly confident that the band has found the right person (and artists) for the job. I can't say exactly when my - I mean the new TOOL site will be launched, but hopefully it will be in the next few months. Again, hopefully...

SUBJECT: MUSIC ARRANGEMENTS AND MAYNARD

Q: "Every now and again, I run into a tool fan who only focuses on Maynard. That's all they talk about, don't get my wrong I think he's the shit too, but some don't even mention the other three members and what they contribute, this is only a minor group of people that seem to do it. It irks me a bit. I was wondering if you could tell me how much of a part does Maynard play in the music composition or arrangements?"

A: First off, he writes ALL of the vocal melodies and ALL of the lyrics. If that weren't enough, I would imagine that he also contributes to the music composition (again, aside from the vocal melodies) and arrangements, as do ALL of the band members.

SUBJECT: NEW ALBUM

Q: "Will there be any dubstep featured in TOOL's new album?"

A: Maybe in the cover of "Meat Hook Sodomy" by Cannibal Corpse, or "Bring your Daughter to the Slaughter" by Iron Maiden. I'm only kidding, Guitar World, etc.

SUBJECT: OPIATE EP

Q: "Blair, I recently bought a vinyl Opiate album, I know there are several in circulation and I'm wondering why mine has Cold and Ugly double cut with the Gaping Lotus Experience, first, on side-B. The weird thing is that it is immediately followed by Cold and Ugly double cut with nothing. It's probably just a reissue I haven't read about but I want to know if I have something special."

A: http://toolvinyl.com/tool-vinyl-buyers-guide/ Perhaps this will help you. Not to be insensitive or a show-off, in case you didn't know, "Opiate" is also available in a more modern CD (compact disc) format, and with these you don't have to worry about double-cut groves, etc. I'm just putting it out there...

SUBJECT: VISUAL TRAINING

Q: "Hello Blair, I hope that you may find time to answer this question. You were talking about a Reptilian Royal family, setting out to Rule the world. I find this concept fascinating, but of course I am highly dubious. Not of the power struggles, or of the presence of ET/ED's on this planet, but of the 'reptilian' race or shape shifters. The question is, where would be the first place to look to find actual evidence, or even a series of compelling 'coincidences' that may lead to a logical conclusion that the presence of this species is a living reality? Also, Is there any sort of visual training that I could undertake in order to perceive more clearly who is and who isnt? Perhaps what to look or, something for the schema."

A: Although I very much appreciate the question, metaphors aside, I haven't a good answer. You could try the Reptoid Research Center (www.reptoids.com), or seek advice from that egg-hatched Lady GaGa thing (presumably while wearing a Positive Orgone Energy Pendant), but I seriously doubt neither of them have any real idea. However, once again, it's reassuring to know that there is someone capable to take over as content manager of the Tool websites in the event that something happens to me. As a matter of fact, while in Sedona over the Memorial Day weekend, I was bitten several times by a poisonous spider (what type, I'm not sure, but I discovered an extremely large Hobo spider [my arch-nemesis from rainy Portland, Oregon days] near the bed in the loft of my chalet the next day), and was advised by a local pharmacist to go to the emergency room. Rather than do that, I am taking Benadryl, and noticed some improvement yesterday. Yet, as I write this, some of the swelling appears to be coming back, along with patches of redness surrounding the blackish bite marks. Damn, I certainly hope I don't become a victim of my own doing - in an attempt to photograph 'ZEMKLA JR.' at the Bell Rock Portal (all part of the parody!). That is to say, I hope the joke's not on me... And yet, any damage to my body (and soul) from that brown monster under my bed would seem to legitimize having to endure decades of arachnophobia... Well, I better quit now before this starts to sound like my personal blog...

Photo by BMB

HAPPY TRAILS

Darklore volumes 1-5 available at www.amazon.com

LINKS:

DARKLORE VOLUME 1

DARKLORE VOLUME 2

DARKLORE VOLUME 3

DARKLORE VOLUME 4

DARKLORE VOLUME 5

For additional info and samples from "Darklore", please visit www.dailygrail.com and click on Darklore.

Undaunted by the recent prediction of the apocalypse on Saturday, May 21st, 2011 by 'fringe' radio evangelist Harold Camping, members of TOOL (again, despite the impending doom!) continued to write new material for their next recording. Before continuing with a progress report (and special announcement), I would first like to personally give kudos to the guys for (unanimously!) not succumbing to all the media-driven fear surrounding Christ's return during Oprah's last days. But as for Mr. Camping and his crestfallen flock of gas-wasting puppet underlings, shame on all of you for frightening 'the people down the street', especially for scaring little girls and Scott Stapp half to death with your "end of the world" baloney! What the hell were you thinking! - you lethargic liver spot hoping to smuggle scrotal pearls into the promised land!.. Just like all those prophets of doom with their mothballed Raptures, we 'the beer drinking public' have a good mind to deal with Mr. Camping hickory stick fashion! If not taking turns kicking him with galoshes in his bony shin, then at least let's give the gibbering skid-mark a black dunce cap and put him on the ducking stool! Jesus Christ on a unicycle, somebody slip some geriatric pharmaton in this chap's Jell-O cake before terrified believers start committing suicide! What's that you are saying: The old codger isn't to blame. He's just another poor misguided soul... Well, suppose the reports are true that he renewed his radio contract just days prior to his Judgement Day prediction (date)? Then would it be okay to dip his rectal suppositories in Tabasco sauce... as well as to verbally crucify all the idiots that he took (extorted?) money from?

And now what's this latest prediction for world annihilation in October by this dawdling teratoid? Can't you just see this flabbergasted fossil (still taking donations!) with a Bible and bottle of strawberry Ensure, re-calculating on his Panasonic 850 with quivering brittle brown-flecked fingers looking like some disgusting appetizer from the Claim-Jumper! False! Inaccurate! False! (At least those guys from "Jars of Clay" are still here. It would have sucked to climb out of the rubble and see just their cloths lying there). As most of us know, the actual date for the apocalypse is December 21, 2012. That's December 21, scrotum-face! Even dead elephants know that! Haven't you read Daniel Pinchbeck? Even a box of doorknobs knows that! The return of Quetzalcoatl, not a catastrophe you shale in your shoes shit for brains! (Note: Readers of this website will recall a trip to the Yucatan where Adam, after buying his guide a Coke, was personally shown the tell-tale Maya calendar stele at Coba.)

All right, moving forward. No matter how many new TOOL tunes are currently complete, I will personally guarantee that the new CD will be released on MAY 22, 2012 (or MAY 15, 2012). And unlike that old f**k rattling the shingles with his cauliflower and mini-Cheddars flatulence, my calculation is not based on some preposterous coded Biblical numerology. Instead, it comes from a credible source who, himself, obtained the information via trance-contact (which was written down on a scratch pad) from an interplanetary avatar (and sector commander) named ZEMKLA JR. from the city of Farlon on the planet Selo (in the Bernard's Star System).

Thus having been contacted, SEMKLA JR. traveled to the earth in a vortex device (equipped with "anti-God controls") that he called "an extra Gamma-traversing spheroid" (whose sighting was officially listed by a general at Luke Air Force Base as "a supersonic flight of Canadian geese.") After first warning of the dangers of indole poisons (pork, spinach, bleached flour, etc.), and demonstrating the amazing power of a Temkla pencil, Zemkla (who resembled a "Missouri Mexican wearing what looked like an astral tennis outfit, and was accompanied by beautiful women who appeared like they just stepped out of a Greek painting"), revealed the all-important date, afterwards asking when the ToolArmy message boards would be back up? Go ahead and listen to the alzur agents if you want (wearing their black dunce caps), but I'll bet anyone a crystal glass of Plobium and 100 green trading disks that the date is correct. Feel free to spread the word anyway you want: Billboards, posters, digital bus displays, or smoke signal apps on your iPhone...

In fact, braving Maricopa Sheriff Joe Arpaio (who I'm sure would love to put any interplanetary avatar resembling a Missouri Mexican into a pink jumpsuit!), tomorrow I'm going to drive to the "BELL" portal in Sedona, Arizona with hopes of meeting ZEMKLA JR. for myself. I'm going to this extra trouble in order to double-check the calculation of the TOOL CD release date (but don't ask me what color his socks were, if a Javelina Decimator leaves a mess behind, or how many bolts are in the vortex device!). If, like Mr. Camping, I'm "just a little off", come MAY 23rd, I don't want to have to hole up in some Motel 6 with mobs of angry ToolArmy members banging on the door.

POST SCRIPT: In a possible tangential and/or MIB encounter, shortly after finishing the newsletter, while eating at a local TACO BELL, I noticed an elderly fellow with a strange flashlight stuffed into his back pocket STANDING IN LINE. When it was HIS TURN TO ORDER, he told the woman at the counter that he was going to go outside a smoke a cigarette. He then asked what would be the latest time that he could return and order a "delicious bean burrito?" After leaving to smoke the cigarette (I assume), he returned and ordered FOR HIMSELF two bean burritos - one with NO ONIONS, the other with EXTRA ONIONS. He then turned to the person standing behind him and asked if he was a Mexican American? The reason he wanted to know (so he said) was that he wanted to learn the correct way to say "Hola"... Honestly. For a minute I thought he was going to say, "I BE ZEMKLA JR..."

INO PAZIS GNURUM

AUGUST 1, SALT LAKE CITY, UT @ KINGSBURY HALL

AUGUST 8, CINCINNATI, OH @ PNC PAVILION

AUGUST 10, WALLINGFORD, CT @ OAKDALE THEATRE

TICKETS GO ON SALE JUNE 3

More info at www.aperfectcircle.com

Photo by BMB

* copyright 2011 by the author (Blair MacKenzie Blake)

Photo by Rynne Stump

* It's a good thing, too, because after a van loaded with electronics in his charge got stolen during an extended "lunch break", his boss at Ametron relegated Danny to sales - that is before XAPHAN became involved (and the rest is history).

Birthday wishes from your family, friends, and band mates (righteous dudes themselves).

Photo by BMB taken recently at "Sprinkles."

With love and respect,

More tour info available at www.aperfectcircle.com

ROYAL WEDDING/DAVID ICKE SPECIAL EDITION

"Hey, what's going on with the new Tool record?" "How's the new Tool record going, BMB?" Seems that's all people who read this site want to know. I'm not kidding. 99% of the queries in my inbox this week concerned the band's next album, with, amazingly enough, not one question or comment about the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton and any dystopian potentials with regards to the ongoing deception to humankind by shape-shifting reptoids, Kris Kristofferson, and the Babylonian Brotherhood. Holy freakin' Queen Mother-Chief Toad in fancy footwear!..

Well, okay you persistent sheeple-bastards: Converting the waveforms of electromagnetic emanations from the constellation Draco into the equivalent audio waves obviously takes time (especially those only detectable to those with the rarest forms of extreme reverse-slope hearing loss). So does tuning the silicon strings of a nano-guitar that happens to be the size of a red blood cell. And have you ever tried recording samples of a particular species of Thai cicada in a rainy moonless jungle. What about processing a dry leaf skittering along the sidewalk through an Eventide harmonizer so that it's in tune with a Tibetan thighbone trumpet? And then there's the lovesick bobcat and tickled camel... Yes, all of these things are quite time consuming. Even so, the guys (Tool) are making a lot of headway in the arduous process of jamming, writing, and arranging new material. Of course, like everyone else who knows an organic portal when they 'see' one, they're going to take Friday, April 29th off in order to watch the royal wedding (unable to attend in person, most regrettably). Therefore, perhaps you, too, should WATCH the Drac's party, asking yourself, "What's coming next as far as Red Dress Programs go?" That is, exactly what is the hidden agenda of these creatures masquerading as the British Royal Family?

What to look for, you ask? Little things. Don't be fooled or blinded by stuff like designer ensembles or heavily embroidered flats. Duchesse satin with seed-pearl looks good on a child's blood and crumpet type lizard as well. But in looking for evidence of reptoid activity, don't expect to see almond-shaped eyes, vertical pupils and green leathery skin. Instead, look for traces of partially scaled faces while morphing back during vibrational wavelength disruptions. Look THROUGH these holographic veils with their livers and greens and monoatomic gold. See these crockery-collecting Dracs with their biscuits, Cadbury, and clotted cream for what they truly are: hostile lizardfolk disguised as humans. If you happen to be in the area and spot an ice cream van, try ordering a "99" and watch what happens. Especially look for those wearing blue lipstick in Westminster Abbey! And if you've a telescope, look for signs of lunar bases. They'll certainly be watching too, knowing damn well that the date of the royal wedding (April 29th) also happens to be David Icke's birthday! And why do you suppose that the occasion should enable the highly influential (with their STICKY PUDDING) to be so close to the Buckingham Palace bunkers!

After all, who would deliberately choose the date of April 29th for the royal wedding - the same date (APRIL 29th) that ADOLF HITLER married his long-time mistress EVA BRAUN in a Berlin bunker - only to "commit suicide" shortly after, thus bringing a new meaning to the term, "The honeymoon is over." (Note: Keep in mind that all the pain and suffering of Lizard-Hitler's WWII was used to energize and 'refuel', if you will, the reptoid Dracs. Evidently, simply tossing a hamster into a KitchenAid KSB560 isn't nearly enough 'misery-energy' for these glorified skinks who are bent on world domination.) If all of this isn't further evidence of Nazi-Reptilian collaboration, then how does one explain another important occurrence on April 29 (1992)? The British have their Queen, but here in America, we have our KING. And here, of course, I'm referring to RODNEY KING and the L.A. riots, an important TEST as part of the Reptilian/Babylon Brotherhood conspiracy.

In the meantime, A PERFECT CIRCLE have announced via their website that RED BACTERA VACUUM will be opening for them during their summer 2011 tour. Maynard and company will also be performing at the Ottawa BLUESFEST on JULY 10th, and Kanrocksas in August. Also look for APC LOLLAPALOOZA DATES. For additional information, including videos of their rehearsals, please visit www.aperfectcircle.com (Only wait until after Friday's royal wedding!). Also newsworthy is that M.T. vOID, JUSTIN'S project with Peter MOHAMED, have released a track from "NOTHING'S MATTER." Not sure what Adam's up too (besides working on new Tool songs), but recently DANNY got together for a drumming/recording session with NEIL PEART (RUSH) and STEWART COPELAND (THE POLICE). LES CLAYPOOL was also involved, but I'm not sure as to what capacity. Whether or not these guys will get together again, or anything will come from the initial 'session', I really don't know. Danny has also been working in his spare time with cEVIN of SKINNY PUPPY (programming Danny's large collection of analogue synthesizers), and there are plans for my neighbor Evil Joe Barresi to possibly record a VOLTO! CD.

Now, let's see what's in my inbox?

Q: "Hey, Can you tell me what the new Tool album sounds like?"

A: Well, so far, it sounds like Stockhausen meets Jimmy Durante. No, actually I haven't heard any of it yet. I did, however, see the dry erase board the other night, and even took a photo of the incomplete (Tool) arrangement on it, only to be later told by a band member not to post it. I don't know why, though. It was ambiguous as ever. In fact, any musician would have an easier time deciphering the Voynich manuscript. Even so, I'll go way out on a limb and predict that the new stuff sounds like... Tool. Or at least it WILL once Maynard adds everything that he does to the equation. For truly, that's when all the colored scrawls of chord progressions, time signatures, and other abstruse musical notations on the board become the kind of Tool composition you've become familiar with.

But, getting back to Friday's royal wedding involving Icke's reptilian Overlords, let's review the facts: April 29th, the date of the royal wedding by shape-shifting reptoids, is also leading researcher/conspiracy theorist David Icke's birthday (Coincidence? I think... NOT.). As we've seen, it also happens to be the anniversary of Adolf Hitler's marriage to Eva Braun. Plus the wedding enables any de-cloaking ELITE (with their sticky pudding!) to be near the Buckingham Palace bunkers. And, lest we not forget, the date also marks the anniversary of the riots in Los Angeles, which, as we have seen, was a staged event, as part of Draco Reptilian/Babylonian Brotherhood's hidden agenda. All the while, the little steam train goes "toot toot toot", doesn't it Mr. Icke...

And how exactly did I become aware of these connections? Not because I am currently in a relationship with a relative of Eva Braun. That I can assure you (even though I truly am.). No, it began last winter while I was spending the holidays with my family on the east coast. While on the way to visit my father's grave memorial we stopped first at the Ivy Hill Cemetery in Alexandria, Virginia. There I wanted to checkout the gravesite of Werner von Braun (1912-1977), the former WWII Peenemunde Nazi rocket development program leader - later turned American rocket scientist (via Operation Paperclip) who was instrumental in putting a man on the moon, and who may have been privy (nay, involved) in the famous Roswell crash/retrieval. What I was mainly interested in was the inclusion of the Biblical Psalm 19:1 on the rocket scientist's modest grave marker. Translated as "The heavens declare God's glory and the skies reveal His handiwork", I wondered if this might be a cryptic reference to UFOs (again, as in the Roswell case?). But what happened next was strange to say the least. As we approached the site, a black sedan with darkened windows pulled up in the dappled sunlight. Seconds later we were astonished to see a figure climb out wearing a large black overcoat and WWII Nazi helmet (complete with a bright SS decal). This man, who appeared to be quite old, walked over to von Braun's grave, bent down and removed the American flag planted there, replacing it with a tiny Nazi flag. Without saying a word, and as if totally oblivious to our presence - even as I took a photo of him!, he then walked back and got into the idling sedan. Seconds later it was gone. The whole thing happened in a matter of minutes, or even seconds actually. Once the car was out of sight, we decided to replace the American flag that originally had been placed there, completely baffled by the strange episode. After this event, for whatever reason, I decided to do more research on the von Braun, and that's when I learned about an interview that he did with Carol Rosin prior to his death in 1977. In this interview, the scientist revealed an elaborate plan by the powers that be involving false threats by terrorists, killer asteroids, and finally a false alien threat to humankind. Deceptions apparently designed to control certain events on earth!

Okay, what other email might there be?

Q: "I was wondering if it would be possible to get all the tool songs as instrumentals. I recently found Sober on youtube with no lyrics and was thinking it'd be badass to hear them all like this. Is there a secret Maynardless album hiding somewhere? Maybe one he used as he made the lyrics I assume. Looking forward to your response."

A: None, other than the Zamfir panpipe CD that was released about five years ago.

HAPPY TRAILS

"Alchemeyez Visionary Art Congress"

Special discounted package DEAL

email artist Adam Scott Miller @ VisionASM@gmail.com for codes for discounted tickets.

THE BAKED POTATO
3787 Cahuenga Blvd., West
Studio City, Ca. 91604

And while I'm on the subject of VOLTO!, the band will be performing again at THE CENTRAL in SANTA MONICA on SATURDAY, MAY 28TH. "GRYPHON LABS (including members of "Zappa Plays Zappa") will open the show, and we'll also be celebrating JOHN ZIEGLER'S birthday (at midnight). If you want to bring him a gift, John gladly excepts Shiner Bock marinaded "drunksticks" (don't forget the sriracha!) and/or his favorite "Holmes" Texas pecan sausage links. If not, just buy him a kamikaze.

THE CENTRAL
1348 14TH STREET
SANTA MONICA, CA. 90404

And while we're on the subject of JOHN Z (aka VOLTO), his other band, "BUBBA LUGATZ" will doing their thing at the BAKED POTATO on FRIDAY, MAY 6TH. Check them out if you haven't already. Great vintage keyboards and a fantastic drummer.

WEBSITE

twitter - @tool

MORE

Tickets available HERE

ORDER

VOLTO!

DANNY CAREY
KIRK COVINGTON
LANCE MORRISON
JOHN ZIEGLER

Photo by BMB

Available direct from Lustmord

HERE

In other Lustmord news, a second show has been added to the New York performance on April 10, and Lustmord will perform at Wave Gotik Treffen in Leipzig, Germany on June 13 2011.

UPDATE: THE 2ND NEW YORK SHOW IS NOW SOLD OUT

While in New York for his Unsound performances, Lustmord will also be giving a talk at the Goethe-Institut Wyoming Building in Manhattan on Saturday, APRIL 9TH at 1:30 pm. Admission is free.

Further information on all of the above at the Lustmord Blog.

www.lustmord.com

http://b-lustmord.blogspot.com/
http://www.facebook.com/Lustmord.Page
http://twitter.com/BLustmord

So you went ahead and did it. Bought yourself a limited edition Tool tour poster as a keepsake of the night you saw the band perform live. Maybe you even shelled out some extra money for one signed by all four band members. Hell, you might have even hit the conveniently located ATM so that you could purchase a poster that contained original hand-drawn art by guitarist Adam Jones. Then after the show - if the thing survived intact - you had it framed and hung it on a wall, making sure that it was perfectly centered. Okay, great. But was that the end of the story, or did you find yourself wanting more cool Tool stuff? Here, I'm talking about collectible things - perhaps even highly sought after Tool memorabilia such as, say, a signed limited edition Lateralus vinyl with bonus doodles by Adam, or an Evans drum head signed by Danny with a purple Sharpie, it also containing a slightly off-kilter "Star of Babalon", or what about the even harder to obtain "Cesaro Summability" 12" promo picture disc? Wouldn't that baby look good on the wall next to your prized tour poster! If such is the case, you might just be more than your average Tool enthusiast. Standing there in your "All Indians, No Chiefs" vintage tee-shirt, you might be a... collector (and if so, carefully take off that shirt, and put it on a tattooed manikin!)

Although I'm far from an expert on the various collectible (official) Tool merchandise out there, as a friend of the band members, and as the content manager for their websites, over the years I've come across quite a few things that I would deem to be very valuable. But which is the rarest item of all - the so-called "holy grail" of Tool memorabilia? I've got my own idea, but first let's look at some other pieces that are sure to fetch a high price on eBay, in second-hand record shops, at collector's expos, or on other online auction houses. As I'm sure most Tool devotees are aware of, collecting and selling these items can be highly profitable. But beginners (and even seasoned veterans!) will need to be careful to avoid paying an arm and a leg for fakes. And there are a lot of fakes out there, some even having a genuine look about them. So that you don't blow your hard earned money on a "Stinkfist Eastern European promo album", or a "rare blue vinyl of Lateralus", or even a super scarce Australian release of a "colour double Salival LP" (all of which are most likely CD transfer bootlegs), check with some of the excellent on-line buyer's guides, especially if you're not absolutely certain of the authenticity of the item.

(Note: Before we examine some of the more uncommon pieces, be advised that I am not going to include things that were once considered for official merch (prototypes and such), but which, for whatever reason, never made it into production. Things such as Tool bottle openers, skateboards, clothing, jewelry, lighters, or license plate frames. Nor am I going to include promotional record store displays, although I'm sure they are quite collectible. The same goes for personal items like business documents, letters, holiday or birthday cards, etc. In the past I've received X-mas gifts from Adam that were wrapped in generic paper containing hand-drawn decorative flourishes [although not necessarily keeping with the spirit of the occasion!], but I can't imagine there being too many items like this out there, especially for sale! Not yet, that is... And finally, I'm not going to include Tool tour books, no matter how old, due to the private information they might still contain.)

When thinking of rare Tool collectibles, and especially one that commands a high price on eBay, the first thing that comes to mind would be a factory-sealed mint copy of the band's 1991 original demo cassette, titled (or dubbed) 72826. (In case you didn't know, the number is "SATAN" spelled out on a phone keypad.) With a simple illustration of the familiar phallic Tool wrench on the cover, the demo contains 6 tracks from Tool's first two records, including studio versions of "Cold & Ugly" and "Jerk-off." As for the exact number of copies made, I'm going to guess around 500, although this could be higher, keeping in mind that many were given away by the band during early club performances. Whatever the number (Danny thinks possibly 1,000), a genuine UNOPENED copy of this cassette makes for a nice centerpiece to any tool memorabilia collection.

Besides the demo cassette, something else that Tool enthusiasts and collectors drool over are picture discs. There were several species of these produced, mainly for promotional use, and if you can get your hands one of the more scarce (official) ones, you've got yourself quite a treasure. Some of these limited editions include the "Sober" 12" picture disc UK promo, the aforementioned "Cesaro Summability" picture disc, a 10" "Stinkfist" picture disc, and a beautifully-illustrated "Lateralus" sampler version. Variants of Tool vinyl are also popular with collectors, with the authentic ones becoming harder and harder to find. These include Undertow in a grey promo, and a clear green version. And although neither of these promos includes "Disgustipated", they are much sought after. (Note: Years ago I remember people on the message boards talking about a double LP [one disc black, with the other being orange] that supposedly included the lengthy "Disgustipated" as well as a side chockfull of re-mixes from "Undertow." However, I can tell you with absolute certainty that this is a pure fabrication. But if you can't get your hands on a picture disc, how about an "Opiate" mis-press, with both sides being double-cut and containing the hidden track "The Gaping Lotus Experience." There's also the "Prison Sex" white vinyl with (hopefully) an included art sheet that contains the "big fat lady." And I don't have to tell Tool aficionados (those who know exactly where the Parental Advisory stickers should be located on the shrink wrap) that the original "Aenima" gatefold album (with its "Useful Idiot Joke") is extremely pricey, only don't drain your savings on one with colored vinyl, unless, of course, that color is black.

As for CDs, I'm not sure how many of these were produced, but I have in my possession a promotional issue of "Prison Sex" (Zoo - ZP17148-2) that contains both the radio edit and album version of that tune with the CD artwork being the same as the "Prison Sex" UK grey vinyl version. And though it's not that rare, the European version of the Aenima CD SHOULD BE of interest to collectors. Not because the disc contains the Goetic sigil of Furfur, or that it includes an insert catalog of spurious "other albums available by Tool", but because the spoof catalog contains in itself true information that might be of great interest to certain fans of the band.

And then there's the "Salival" box-set, some of which were autographed, and even came embellished with original Adam artwork of varying degrees of complexity.

Another big-ticket item would be a GENUINE certified RIAA record award that contains the name of the person that it was presented to, but since these are only usually given to friends, family, and those intimately involved in the record's production, they don't often come up for sale. In fact, you might have to wait until someone dies... Also, the band stopped giving these out after "Aenima", so, again, there can't be too many floating around.

What about those limited edition tour posters? Well, they're certainly collectible; in particular those with original drawings by Adam (or Justin), but what would be even better would be a signed "double-set" (with Adam art), such as those for the 'recent' Nokia shows here in L.A. Another good one would be from Tool's performance in Hamburg Germany on June 6, 2006 (666). And then there's the large "ET IN ARCADIO EGO" European tour poster from some by-gone era. So why settle for an unused wrench sticker (these might have been ancient back stage passes).

And while talking about the old stickers, satin V.I.P. and after show passes are also deemed collectible, the older the better. But of course, those that went unused are the most valuable. Even better (hmmm) would be a so-called unused "pussy pass" - truly a thing of the far distant past, with their pornographic imagery and accompanying text: "Don't be offended - it's perfectly natural." You know that you've got a real one if stamped on the back are directions informing the 'lucky' recipient which section (say, 101) to report to after the show. With regards to all-access laminates (highly collectible), these should contain a photo, a tiny yellow smiley face sticker (damn, I've given it away), and a mini "Feed Me" satellite laminate. Among the VIP laminates, my personal favorite would have to be the one with the words Very Impudent Parasite written on the front with the following printed on the reverse: "I. The Person Whining Before You, Had Absolutely Nothing To Do With ANY Of The Creative Processes Which Lead Up To This Event And I Have Perverse Overestimation Of My Importance Here. Ignore Me." Okay, Maynard, but can you feed me, nevertheless...

Also desirable are glossy promo photos of the band that have been individually signed. Many years ago, a number of these were given away to ToolArmy members who purchased merch from the Shopping Bazaar. Although most of these were included randomly or with every 50th order placed, I have to admit that on a few occasions, when I happened to be in the office, I would place one in an order where the person only purchased a $2.00 sticker, as opposed to a $100.00 + order of multiple shirts, etc. Because they didn't have computer access (?), these kids would send a couple of bucks (even loose coins) in an envelope, hand writting their meager order. By sending these guys a signed photo, I guess I was just hoping to make someone's day. Hell, I probably pay my rent to that kid today!

Other collectible items that were available exclusively through the store on the fan site were the limited edition art prints by Maynard ("Sieben") and Justin ("Unbridle"). The original idea was for each member to do one, but so far neither Adam nor Danny has complied. We'll stay on them, though, and print a few up, complete with embossed seal.

Recently, a Tool barbecue utensil set was designed and given as gifts to band and crewmembers. As the red apron contains the recipe-lyrics to "Die Eier Von Satan" these may one day command a high premium. Be warned, however - all you concocters out there, that I have left out an important element that can be used to distinguish the genuine ones from any counterfeits.

Which brings us to the "holy grail" that I mentioned earlier. No, it's not a cheap guitar signed hastily backstage by all four band members as part of some radio promo. It also doesn't concern bizarre video props or some Xeroxed set-list that includes "The Grudge", and which is also signed by Maynard (most likely fabricated). It's not even the lyrics to a popular Tool song hand written on a Ralph's grocery bag. No, this is something REALLY special. Are you ready? Suppose I was to tell you that there is a Tool song - recorded in a studio - that hasn't been heard except for by a handful of people, and that virtually no one outside of the band (and a few others) is aware of its very existence? Keep in mind, this is not a cover (not the rumored "Crazy Train"), nor is it a glorified segue that never made it onto a record. This is an original full-blown Tool song complete with vocals and lyrics. The title of this tune is "Problem 8 (The Riemann Hypothesis)", and it was recorded many years ago - so long ago, in fact, that I don't remember who played bass, although I want to say it was Justin. The length is somewhere in the six-minute range (if my memory serves me correctly), but whatever it is, the exact time had something to do with the unsolved and mysterious nature of the title. Now, not only was the song professionally recorded; it was actually 'issued' in a manufactured medium (though I'm not going to say whether this was vinyl, a CD, or cassette tape). Because of the ingenious way it was made available to the public, "Problem 8" , in my opinion, constitutes the ultimate hidden track. Only, don't go looking for it among your collection (most of you, that is!), as there are no more than 30 copies on the planet. As for those who have one, most, I'm sure, aren't aware of it, even though it might be staring them right in the eye on a near daily basis. The reason they aren't aware of it, is because they'd never think to play it. Okay, enough said...

In the spirit of this newsletter about Tool memorabilia, "Merch" is going to be putting some nice stuff in the store tomorrow (consider this a head's up). These items will include vintage tee-shirts (those now out of circulation), tour posters (maybe even a couple of signed ones), and at least one real gem that will have some fans salivating. In the meantime, keep hunting for those Tool rarities. They would sure look good next to that souvenir tour poster that you purchased at the last show.

HAPPY TRAILS

Photo by BMB

LISTEN

Photo by LaraLee

Tool's drummer will also be performing at the world famous jazz club during the return of VOLTO! (KIRK COVINGTON of "TRIBAL TECH", LANCE MORRISON of "DON HENELY", and JOHN ZIEGLER of "PLC" and... "BUBBA LUGATZ") on SATURDAY, APRIL 9th, 2011. Advanced tickets highly recommended, but easily purchased HERE . We hope to see you there!

MORE

APRIL 2nd - MAY 7th

Mihai Nicodim Gallery
Los Angeles

nicodimgallery.com
info@nicodimgallery.com

WEBSITE

Check it out and see why Adam's a big fan of Justin's work.

DETAILS

www.radio23.org/ccr

As for the book itself, there are now fewer than 40 COPIES LEFT of the original 1000 print. Therefore, if you are interested in acquiring a copy before you're at the mercy of eBay and the expensive second-hand market, I would definitely act soon. Now here's the good news: Because there aren't that many books left, ALL OF THE REMAINING COPIES will be SIGNED by both the author and DANNY CAREY (who wrote the book's foreword, and who is featured throughout as an avid collector of Crowleyana).

ORDERS

UPDATE: ALL COPIES OF THE BOOK ARE NOW SOLD OUT - ONLY POSTERS ARE STILL AVAILABLE

beinArt Collective Group Exhibition, 'Dystopia'

Opening Reception: Saturday, March 19th - 8:00 - 11:30 pm.
March 19th - April 9th 2011 at Copro Gallery (Santa Monica, C.A.)
Curated by Jon Beinart

"THE MISSION" by CHET ZAR

E-MAIL

"I thought I might suggest adding a post to the websites, in order to inform American audiences of the *long-overdue* theatrical release of "American: The Bill Hicks Story". As you probably already know, this brilliant film was produced by an independent English company in 2009. There was a limited theatrical release in the UK in May 2010. Some of us in the US will FINALLY get to see this film in theaters, beginning April 8 in New York. See below for the first limited release dates:

New York, NY - Cinema Village - April 08, 2011
Los Angeles, CA - Laemmle Sunset 5 - April 15, 2011
Austin, TX - Alamo Drafthouse Lamar - April 22, 2011
Portland, ME - Space Gallery - April 27, 2011
Phoenix, AZ - Madcap Theater - April 30, 2011

Looks like it will see a full DVD and Blu-Ray release shortly thereafter, as it is already available in both formats in "Region B"."

Admission: $10
Address: 618 West 6th Street #200, Austin, TX 78701
Telephone: (512) 479-8848
www.momosclub.com

In NEW ORLEANS, ALOKE will be at BLUE NILE Club on SATURDAY, MARCH 26, 2011 at 8 P.M.

Admission: $10
532 Frenchmen Street, New Orleans, LA 70116-2024
Telephone: (504) 948-2583
www.bluenilelive.com

www.radio23.org/ccr

ARTISTS

"DYSTOPIA"

Opening Reception: Saturday, March 19th - 8:00 - 11:30 PM
Exhibit runs from March 19th - April 9th 2011.
COPRO GALLERY, Bergamot Station, 2525 Michigan Ave, Unit T5,
Santa Monica, CA 90404, USA.

METAMORPHOSIS (DEMON) by PETER GRIC

THE BAKED POTATO
3787 Cahuenga Blvd., West
Studio City, Ca. 91604

SHOW TIMES: 9:30 - 11:30 PM

Bring an instrument and join in during the second set.

UPDATE: I JUST RECEIVED WORD FROM JOHN THAT BILLY STEINWAY WILL BE ON KEYS TONIGHT.

THE BAKED POTATO
3787 Cahuenga Blvd., West
Studio City, CA. 91604

$15.00 COVER

MORE

Tickets are now on sale via TICKETWEB

BLOG

http://www.lustmord.com/

http://b-lustmord.blogspot.com/

http://twitter.com/BLustmord

http://www.facebook.com/Lustmord.Page

VOLTO!
DANNY CAREY
KIRK COVINGTON
LANCE MORRISON
JOHN ZIEGLER

THE BAKED POTATO
3787 CAHUENGA BLVD., WEST
STUDIO CITY, CA. 91604

Photo by Rynne Stump

Admission: $7
Address: 4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd, Portland, OR 97215-3251
Telephone: (503) 360-1450
WEBSITE

JUST A REMINDER: ALOKE DUTTA is giving online lessons via Skype. Write to him at aloke @alokedutta.com if you are interested.

Photo by Rynne Stump

Photo by Rynne Stump

PLACE ORDER

Or visit the store at www.dannycarey.com for more information.
(Once in the store, click on "MEDIA").

UPDATE: Those copies (also) signed by DANNY went fast, and are NO longer available. Copies hand NUMBERED and SIGNED by the author (Blair MacKenzie Blake) can still be purchased, and will be shipped at once.

1924 - 2011 e.v.

STARFIRE

Signed and numbered
Printed on Velvet Fine Art paper
Limited Edition of 100
17" x 22"
$135.00

PURCHASE

With the lack of updates from my supposedly crack crew of embedded reporters (Aaron!), it now appears - I mean, I reckon - that I should have gone to at least some of the BDO dates and Tool sideshows so that I could give readers a taste of the experience. Unfortunately, with the team of engineers at ILC DOVER getting off like a heard of old turtles, my specially designed Aussie Extravehicular Mobility Unit (AEMU) was "still in the works." And without any protective clobber, there's no way that I was going to subject myself to the elements beyond the black stump, and of course I'm talking about paralysis ticks, dingos and funnel-webs, not to mention mozzies, bitzers, and blowies. Therefore, with the absence of actual accounts from those with the proper credentials, a little astral projection on my part will have to suffice for those interested in hearing about the wingding in the lucky country...

Here we go, just a peep through the fly-wire...

CRIKEY, MIKEY!!!

Drug-sniffing dogs, ear-bashing crowds of twanged-out sandgropers chugging beer... aroma from stalls of burger-rings, satay-sticks, mystery bags and chicken rolls... Teens rolling on tablets of MDMA smuggled in tucker-bags full of Cheezels and Pollywaffles... Disorderly behavior ... glistening white pointers... tattooed Banana Benders... Gobsmacked Yobbos doing the Aussie salute as Rammstein takes the stage ... Starbucks... Jambucks... muckamucks... worshipping dazzling opto-kinetic sculptures... Chocolate Crackles, Freddo Frogs and Violet Crumble... Sheilas in their frilly grundies taken away in ambos whilst trippin' on acid-laced Tropical-Sno... A bushman's hanky... More drug-sniffing dogs... Canadian tourists (G'day) dipping Mackey's fries into tomato sauce!.. That can't be right, mate... Who opened their lunch!..

So it looks like the closest I'm going to get to the rip snorter of a festival in all its ridgy-didge vividity is Tool's final rehearsal on a sound stage in... Burbank... California, with only myself, LaraLee, and some bloke named Joe as the band's enthusiastic crowd. That's right - no mosh pits, crowd surfing or circle dancing. No revelers in day-glow paint smoking mull and licking icy poles. Not even a silver esky filled with Fosters. (Oddly enough, however, there was a drug-sniffing dog.) To get acclimated for the tour Down Under, someone had brought in curb-side takeaway from the nearest OutBack Steakhouse. Yep, there were containers of "Aussie-Tizers", including "Kookaburra wings", the ubiquitous "Bloomin' Onions", and even some Mac 'A' Roo 'N' Cheese from the "Joey" menu. Hell, with all their brass razoo, the tall poppies had even ordered the babyback ribs and Gold Coast grilled coconut shrimp on the Barbie. All that was missing for this 'dress rehearsal' was a half dozen or so Huntsmen on the walls. Will someone please pass me a Mr. Pibb...

That's when Maynard entered the room, wasting little time before shooting his audience of three a look of mock-disgust. He then slowly walked over to the table in front of us and, with one continuous sweep of his arm, took great delight in knocking over the dozen plastic bottles of water that had been placed there. He then picked up one, turned his back and stepped up onto the stage. Undaunted, Joe picked up the remaining 11 bottles and arranged them on the table like bowling pins. I suppose the carny in him came out, because he then shouted to the Tool singer that he bet he couldn't knock them all over with his one bottle. With a deadpan expression, Maynard returned to the table and quickly knocked them all over with the bottle HELD in his hand. Glad I didn't lay down any alfalfa on that one!

Finally, all of the band members were on the stage. As the "Walkabout Soup of the Day" started to get cold, lit by only a few bog-standard colored lights, they opened with "Aenema" (Surely they wouldn't play that - what with the recent floods in Australia). Next was "Flood" (okay...) After what seemed liked ten minutes of fuses being changed, knobs turned, and pedalboards inspected (and me dryer than a dead dingo'sa donger), they gave "Jambi" a go. Wow! Applause from six hands after that one. And then it got quieter than a Bachelor's and Spinster's Ball in Betoota. Obviously the Bloomin' Onions got colder, and I reckoned the dedicated bloomologist at OutBack would be madder than a cut snake.

Making some adjustments to his Mandala pads, as well as fiddling with the dials of an EMS Synthi AKS, Danny nodded that he was ready. Were they going to play a cover of Pink Floyd's "On The Run?" No, they launched into "Stinkfist." As the guys went through the motions on this one, drum-tech Harris seemed equally bored shitless (he's only been working on Danny's kit for three months now). Serving as the only special effect of the show, he deftly flew TWO remote control toy helicopters, at one point buzzing Danny who smiled his approval while crashing myriad cymbals...

After this tune was over, I watched Maynard put on a clean white paper Krispy Kreme donut hat. Were they going to play "Rosetta Stoned", I wondered? No, I was wrong again. It turned out to be "Schism", with the now familiar much speeded up middle section. Good!, because the Tassles Buffalo strips were getting hard, and if there was any "Spotted Dog Sundae" in that sack, well, you can just imagine...

At the start of "Intension", a runner 'walked' up and handed Maynard a FED-X package. Carefully opening it, the singer pulled out a spiffy new backpack. Make that two spiffy new backpacks, each which could be cleverly folded and crumpled into a small ball, something he proudly demonstrated to his captivated audience... With my disgustipated eyes glued to the Bloomin' Onions, "Intension" ended. After stopping for a while to adjust some delay settings, as I looked around for any glistening white pointers, Adam and Justin began the synched intro to "Lateralus." Of course there weren't any complex grids of lasers in this place, and there's definitely no "Cubatron" on the grounds to be hypnotized by, but, nevertheless, it sounded great, especially the always dramatic conclusion.

After the Peach cover "You Lied", the band finally took a break. Although believing that the guys would probably finish up with "Third Eye", I had to leave for a radio show in which I was to be the guest that evening. So I really don't know what they played. Possibly it was "Ticks and Leeches", dedicated by Maynard in our honor? Hooroo! Sadly, that's my report of the BDO. What's the telly for Qantas?..

Danny with a member of my "Notes from the Crew" embedded reporters for Australia's BDO. photo by Rynne Stump

HAPPY TRAILS

THE BAKED POTATO
3787 CAHUENGA BLVD., WEST
STUDIO CITY, CA. 91604

And speaking of the 'tator', there are still on-line tickets available for VOLTO! on FEBRUARY 12th. Get them at www.thebakedpotato.com

or a paralysis tick, even.

(NOTE: I'll post more shots taken by RYNNE on THE BIG DAY OFF at the LONE PINES KOALA SANCTUARY in BRISBANE in the PHOTO ALBUM section on the ToolArmy site, and on www.dannycarey.com. In the meantime, enjoy those posted below.)

www.koala.net

www.koala.net/index.php

photo by Rynne Stump

photo by tour drum tech Aaron Harris

"CONJOINED - IN 3D!" Dimensional group art exhibition
Copro Gallery
Bergamot Station Arts Complex
2525 Michigan Ave , Unit T5, Santa Monica , CA 90404
Ph: 310/829-2156
E-Mail: CoproGallery@Live.com
WEBSITE

Opening Reception: Saturday January 22, 2011- 8:00 - 11:30 p.m.

Live Music from Joe Wood and the Lonely Ones

Dates: Exhibit runs; January 22 - February 12, 2011

PRESS RELEASE

* I actually broke my vow and made two more trips for 53 in all.

MORE

LINK: http://feeds.feedburner.com/childrenofsaturn

(PLEASE NOTE: Too much traffic has now 'melted' the radio23 podcast server! Because of this, they are currently in the process of transferring the postcasts onto another website. Once this happens (hopefully in a few days), I will let you know via a news update.)

Also, don't forget to say hi to Dan if you see him at ArrowHead today (he'll be wearing red, so shouldn't be hard to miss). UPDATE: The Raiders victory yesterday should help the Chiefs in their playoff game, although the wild card Ravens can be pretty damn tough at times. It's hard for this Raiders fan to say this, but CONGRATS to K.C. on winning the division. Let's see how many more tailGATES they have in 'em.

1/15/2011
Marquis Theatre
Denver Colorado

1/17/2011
The Railyard
Billings Montana

1/18/2011
The Filling Station
Bozeman Montana

1/20/2011
The Belltower
Pullman Washington

1/21/2011
The Crocodile
Seattle Washington

1/22/2011
Biltmore Cabaret
Vancouver B.C.

1/23/2011
Mississippi Studios
Portland Oregon

1/25/2011
Bottom of the Hill
San Francisco California

1/26/2011
Crepe Place
Santa Cruz California

1/27/2011
Bootleg Theatre
Los Angeles California

1/28/2011
Plush
Tucson Arizona

1/29/2011
The Launchpad
Albuquerque New Mexico

4/14/2011
ROADBURN FESTIVAL
Tilburg Netherlands

myspace.com/wovenhand

Photo by the abominable Snowfan... without a purple Sharpie.

MORE

WEBSITE

The direct link to open in itunes is: http://radio23.org/ccr.m3u

Also worthy of note: Although he 's not the Monday Night Jammmz guest drummer per se, on MONDAY (DEC. 20), there's a good chance that DANNY will be performing a song during the SECOND SET with MARKO FOX (bassist from "ZAUM" and the voice on AENIMA's "DIE EIER VON SATAN") at the BAKED POTATO jazz club in Studio City. As always, local musicians are encouraged to bring an instrument and join in on the jams.

DARKLORE VOLUME 1

DARKLORE VOLUME 2

DARKLORE VOLUME 3

DARKLORE VOLUME 4

DARKLORE VOLUME 5

SAMPLES

Direct link to open in itunes: http://radio23.org/ccr.m3u

ORDER

Making better Scrabble players for over 10 years!

Here's some Tool related news for those of you who just can't get enough. Adam has finally returned from England and is said to be anxious to get back to work just as soon as his jet lag subsides a bit. For those who have sent e-mail asking if the whole "pheasant hunting thing" might be a cover story for what was actually a secret recording session with (another) famous prog guitarist, the answer is a resounding "no" (although I'm still checking out whether or not the true reason for his trip was to oversee a delicate medical procedure [in one of the few laboratories with a license to engage in human cloning experiments] to correct a specific concern with his favorite tour decoy.) Whatever the case, he is now back home (knowing damn well that in Merry Ole "The Holy Days and Fasting Days Act of 1551" has not yet been repealed) and should be ready to get together with his band mates soon. HOWEVER, because Justin is due to leave for England next week, it would seem to me, at least, that rather than continuing to write new material, they would use the short time remaining to rehearse the set-list for the upcoming tour.

As touched upon in the last newsletter, having finished the recent APC tour, Maynard is back in Arizona tending to his wine production. In the latest entry to his www.caduceus.org journal, he mentions getting "the petit off its muck", running SO2's (sulphur dioxide), topping off the barrels, etc. While doing so, he writes that he was surprised how much wine got absorbed, commenting that, "clearly the angels are alcoholics" (an allusion to "the angel's share", which in wine terminology refers to that portion of the 'spirit' that evaporates during barrel aging). Hell, I could have told him that. According to the Bible, they're also sexual deviates. Whether tippling too much grape or not, in the Old Testament the angels are engaged in all kinds of debauchery, are they not? On a totally different subject, I'm not sure if Danny is going to make the arduous journey down the 405 for the Chargers/Chiefs game this Sunday (knowing that the Chargers are really hungry after being humiliated by the Raiders last week!), but he will definitely be at the Chiefs/Raiders game in K.C. on Sunday, January 2nd. So, if you're at Arrowhead for that game, it shouldn't be too hard to recognize him. He'll be the guy dressed in a red jersey, drinking a beer with barbecue sauce-encrusted fingers, and doing the tomahawk chop in the event that the Chiefs move the chains on that frozen turf.

Tool related news keeps moving along. Yet another meeting with a web developer has been scheduled, so hopefully we'll have some exciting news on that front soon (soon in 'Tool' time, that is). Also, with time running out, I'm still waiting to see if there will be any special holiday merch available in the stores. I wouldn't get my hopes up for a live DVD, though. That still appears to be a thing of the future. As to exactly when, I cannot answer that question any more than: If one were to play a blank tape at full blast, would it bother the mime living next door? And finally, just so as not to leave any stone unturned, once again the Tool business managers, Merch, his assistant, and myself will be having our annual holiday lunch at "Arnie Morton's: The Steakhouse" in Burbank. Only this year I'm not going to order a hamburger. Now, let's get to some e-mail questions...

Q: "Good Day! My name is ********* and I'm a 25yr old female in Brisbane, Australia. I'm looking so forward to the two shows at Big Day Out and The Entertainment Centre in January next year. I do already have tickets to both shows, but ended up with very poor ones at the Entertainment Centre, mostly because my internet was temporarily down and had to buy them from a ticket retailer in person. I'm waffling, I know. The point is I have a cheeky request to make. I actually feel quite bad asking, but it can't hurt to try. Come late January, I'll be 37 weeks pregnant. 3 weeks till my due date. My friends say I'm crazy attempting Big Day Out, but I'll do my best. The next day at The Entertainment Centre show, I'll be driving up by myself again, they (husband included), think I'm a nutcase. I would like the opportunity to gain myself an all access pass? I don't know how, but I'd love the chance to sit by the stage, in front of it, anywhere but 4 million flights of stairs up in the attic, where I currently have a ticket. Please tell me how I can earn one of these? I'm happy to send a photo of my current fatness to prove I'm not a fraudster, but indeed a genuinely huge pregnant woman & desperate case! If it's not possible, I'd really appreciate a reply just to rule it out. Thanks for taking the time to read my appeal."

A: When I started reading this, for a minute I thought I might be suffering from chronic deja vu and was preparing myself for some kind of hellish "Groundhog Day" scenario. But then I realized that it was just the e-mailer's second "cheeky request" at getting a much wanted (needed) all access pass. And to this I give her an A for effort, and certainly don't think that she is a nutcase for wanting to go to the show while being pregnant (even with all those dingos about). Nor do I think she is trying to pull a fast one - I've already seen a photo that was provided by our special TA agents in the field.

Now, for my reply: As much as I would like the band to accommodate you and your unborn child, the honest to goodness truth of the matter is that other than the band members, band decoys, their management, certain members of the crew, wives and girlfriends, decoy wives and girlfriends, family members, pets, and (rarely) very close friends, NO ONE gets an all access pass regardless of what the situation might be. Among other reasons, this is to protect the band members from people who have little green army soldiers in their pockets. Those that claim to be receiving messages from the devil while eating their bowls of alphabet soup, and who truly believe that most of the mountains in Arizona were painted by hand. Sorry, but that's the world we (believe) we live in... Now, colorful and cleverly sarcastic VIP back stage passes and after show passes are given out, but you certainly don't want one of these. You might think that you do, but trust me, you really don't! I know most fans think it's one big party back there. They probably imagine gleaming platters of Italian truffles, Almas caviar, Beluga sturgeon, Knipschilt chocopologie-covered ants sprinkled with edible gold, pastel-colored yubari, durians, iced mangosteen and seedless jumbo black watermelon slices. Yep, there are Wagyu cattle sliders (from cows fed only with Chewings Fescue/Bentgrass and Trappist Belgian ale while being massaged by former Icelandic Miss Multiverse contestants), huge bowls of Ballreich's potato chips, lychees, Venetian crème puffs and Wimbledon strawberries. And all this is washed down with fountains of Diva vodka and Spluch tequila! Think again, my friends.

Even so, I still want one of those cool after show passes to stick on my pants, you say. Okay, but just wait until the house lights come on, most of the crowd has left, and you're sitting there staring at the security people with visions of cheese and Chimay in your noggin. If the portable pukelights don't get you to leave, maybe a focused beam of infrasound playing Barney the Dinosaur's "I Love You", horrible ghost laughter, or, worst of all, Scott Stapp's "Marlin's Will Roar" will. For those who are still determined to get back stage and meet the band, after a cursory examination of one's ID, requests for urine samples, retina scans, and fingerprints, more security personnel will appear to take you to another location. One thing's for sure - you don't want to fuck with these dudes. Not only are most trained in the martial arts, including Kalarippayattu, Taekwondo, combat sambo, klurkhor, black pudding throwing and a Jiu Jitsu/Krav Maga hybrid known as "Heliconan Twisting", some are even masters of the techniques of flash-capoeira, high-calcium density finger strikes, hand-claw, iron-fan, and exploding rats.

Those of you who have thus far survived now find yourself in a brightly lit room that is able to withstand assaults from trebachet, goliath tanks, chicks with rings on every finger that also drive rusty Ford Pintos, 3-day-old baguettes, and ornate puckleguns. Here you will be subjected to a battery of tests designed to weed out undesirables (such as Zetetics, Moonies, Prince Philip Cargo cultists, Hochstetters, Quakers, Shakers, and white Nuwanbians). In the austere surroundings, a menacing figure (an ex-member of "The Church of the SubGenius") with a neon blue space-age ant farm and desktop Triops will watch as you are given personality, aptitude, cognitive, and other diagnostic tests (some designed to determine mental stability - such as being handed a bowl of m&ms and asked to see how many words you can spell from it in an hour's time.) Once you've answered questions such as: "What would be the speed of lightning if it didn't zigzag?" or "Do you think the Detroit Lions will win the Superbowl?" or "What does a hunk of cheese say while it's getting its picture taken?" (Exactly the kind of things the Nazis asked the Jews at the on-set of WWII), you will be escorted to a larger room where you are handed a bag of "Mama Zuma's Revenge" flavored potato chips only to be told later that there is no more bottled water in the vending machine. After another hour or so, those of you who have demonstrated incredible tenacity MIGHT be greeted by a cheerful MJK holding a bottle of Chateau Lafite Rothschild. But I sure wouldn't expect to see any of the other band members... (And, of course, it's a decoy-double).

Q: "Is it true that Maynard was allowed to go into area 51 by government officials to interview aliens?!? I read this in an article I found in some weird magazine that I bought in a desolate gas station in Arizona. It also talked about him having an orgy with 3 so called "female extraterrestrial intelligences" to get coordinates of places in Arizona that are fertile enough for his grape growing for his wine. This sounds too crazy to be true, but maybe it is so crazy that it is really fact. HELP! I'm yearning to know what is reality anymore in this fallen world!"

A: It's good to know that there's someone to take my place should anything happen.

(E-MAIL) "Hello! I just thought i would take the opportunity to involve myself in the tool army community by sharing something i found on ebay recently. I remember reading a while back about Adams 1979 Silverbursts and how he said if he could find another he would get it. Myself being a guitar nut found this the other day: http://cgi.ebay.com.au/ws/eBayISAPI.dll ViewItem&item=360325843032#ht_8430wt_1202 item number: 360325843032. I know these are rare as rocking horse shit, and because i cant afford it, i thought someone out there in the community might find this as interesting as i did (maybe even Adam himself)."

Q: "Do you know if there are plans to release the X-Files 30 Days of Night mini series in a complete hardcover edition eventually? Like a big graphic novel/collectors edition? Thanks. "

A: Dude, this is the Tool website... Please, only Tool related questions.

Q: "Hi. In September 2011 there will be a new Rock in Rio here in Brazil. I was wondering if there is any chance of the band playing there. Other than that, hasn't the band ever thought about playing in Brazil? They have a small but completely devoted group of fans in here. Pink Floyd never played in Brazil, and I'm sure that seeing Tool live would make up for that."

A: Where those "Wandering Spiders are... wandering out of the jungle? Actually, I've heard things, and think it will happen at some point. There was even talk a while back about the band possibly opening for Rush. But we'll just have to wait and see. When they do head your way, would you like an after show pass?

Q: "Hey Blair, Was just thinking of some 'behind the scenes' type stuff, I find it pretty interesting that Aaron Harris is working for the band this tour - he's always pretty good with his blogs and all that - I'm sure he's busy enough but would love to hear some anecdotes about the change from an onstage role to the teching side, and maybe some info on the madness involved with getting Danny's kit onstage and sound-checked for every show. By the way, I emailed you in the heat of the moment regarding the presale stuffup for Melbourne, however I must say any lingering disappointment was definitely allayed when I read that Danny's Ocheltree kit is making it's way down here for the shows. I appreciate the costs involved, and I've always wanted to hear it live. Please thank my fellow Laker lover for giving us the chance to see him thump away on hundreds of pounds of reworked cymbals."

A: I think that's a great idea and will ask Aaron if he'd like to share his thoughts about the tour from time to time (along with Eric and Junior, of course.) One thing's for sure though - he will be very busy dealing with that enormous kit and all the shiny trimmings. The other day when I saw Danny and him putting the thing together, Aaron seemed up to his elbows in heads, cymbals, Mandala pads, synths, computer drives, adapters, cords, cables, nuts, bolts, washers, fasteners, and the ubiquitous Lithium scanning probe. And as soon as he's done sorting out and packing the various hardware, he'll have to deal with the "Great Beast 666" road case that houses Danny's tour Crowley book collection. Red Flame Volume IV or not, I sure don't envy him having to organize all those precious volumes. Hang tough, Aaron, you've got your nifty Tool Utili-Key, and there's always "Chili John's" for lunch!

HAPPY TRAILS

LINK

www.radio23.org/ccr.m3u

www.heathermcmillen.com

Admission: $10
Address: 618 West 6th Street #200, Austin, TX 78701
Telephone: (512) 479-8848

WEBSITE

A quick reminder:

"The big sale on Aloke's merchandise at www.alokedutta.com will be ending on December 31st. Don't miss this chance to pick up CDs, DVDs, and instructional materials at a deeply discounted price. Aloke has decided to SIGN ALL ITEMS sold during this sale!"

For a sample vid (Part 1 of 9):

SAMPLE

For the FULL 9 part PLAYLIST (on YouTube):

PLAYLIST

And then on SATURDAY,DECEMBER 4th it's the return of VOLTO! (DANNY CAREY, KIRK COVINGTON, LANCE MORRISON & JOHN ZIEGLER). RESERVE YOUR SEATS at 818-980-1615 (after 7:00 PM). The famous jazz club is located at 3787 Cahuenga Blvd., West, Studio City, Calif, 91604. Advanced tickets suggested and kamikazes accepted!

For the past couple of weeks several of the band members have been tirelessly jamming, writing and arranging new music for a forthcoming album (as Maynard finishes up the current APC tour and tends to certain zymurgical pursuits). Contrary to any rumors that might be circulating out there, Adam has not been in England for several weeks hunting pheasant, grouse, partridge, guinea fowl, woodcock, common snipe or any other commonly hunted galliformes. Forget about what you read in the "Upland Journal" - he hasn't been slogging through the pine-clad dales of Yorkshire, nor with shotgun in hand in the mist-enshrouded reed-beds of Cornwall, seeking his quarry. There are no castle hotels, flushing dogs, or unpredictable weather. Thanks to a battery-powered hypnobioscope (a truly remarkable device that I found at a flee-market in Pacoima!), I also know that he's currently not over in Merry Ole investigating Stonehenge, woolly rhinos, or hoaxing agro-glyphs for future comic book issues. Nor has he been studying oil painting and climbing Big Ben whilst eating a McDonald's Big Mac. Same goes for learning the proper way of eating a Mcvities' biscuit, or the buttery goodness of any Hobnobs, shortbread or Tim Tams with his cup of Earl Grey in the warmth of an ensorcelled peat fire in some rustic country house. If you saw someone who looked like Adam sipping ale served by grey-bobbed fustilugs in pubs with names like "The Three-Legged Mare", "Bucket of Blood", "Slug and Lettuce" or "The Hairy Lemon", it wasn't Tool's guitarist. So don't email me about him checking out the crinkum-crankum in any British pub with its real ale, good food, strange, cheerful staff and a very nice cat. No, like I've said - he's been working with his nanoguitar on a complex piece of music whose working title is "Floccinaucinihilipilification." Likewise, take it from this fanfaron that Danny hasn't been going to Lakers home games in his orange Lambo, flying in Gates' burnt-ends for Sunday K.C. Chiefs games (in some futile alexipharmic hope!), attending meetings with Evil Joe Barresi about a possible Volto recording project, purchasing a ribbon-controller and other vintage trifles for his modular monstrosities, nor engaging in strange mesonoxian rituals. As with Adam, the Tool drummer has been focusing all his energy on the new Tool material. Ditto for Justin. Forget anything you've heard about his renting out the SilverLake Cha Cha Lounge for a private party celebrating his 40th birthday, attempting to get forty of his friends to skydive (only to be cancelled due to bad weather conditions... and certain mesonoxian rituals on my part) or refurbishing a 17th-century sailing vessel. As sure as the retrieved Roswell saucer is hidden in an old Tootsie Roll factory in New Jersey, no tequila shots katzenjammer is going to keep him from developing those innovative bass parts!

E-MAIL

Q: "Blair, this is a TOOL website right? Well how about actually posting something TOOL related...anything would be nice. I mean I know Maynard makes wine and that's great and all but, what's going on with the band? Shit man, make something up if you have to, but people in New Orleans can't very well drive to Cali to see VOLTO or go to a wine signing so please, give us some news! Sincerely, Joseph."

A: From what I've been told, the band is planning on doing a 'secret' concert really soon in New Orleans. This is going to be a massive production with a horizontal holographic surround sound system based on the two-dimensional Fourier transform (or something like that). Besides the digitally created phase inversion of sonic holography, there will be lighting effects that include Fairchild plasma optoelectronics and the most advanced (legal) liquid-nitrogen-cooled multicolored laser system available - all of which will be filmed for a live DVD. Supposedly, the set list for this three-hour extravaganza will include MANY songs that the band hasn't played in years, including the "Lateralus" album in its entirety. Additionally, some of the guest performers include Robert Fripp, Jimmy Page, Terry Bossio, Tori Amos, and, of course, Harry Connick Jr. During the encore (a zydeco-rendition of "Hooker With A Penis"), Danny will summon Marie Laveau from the dead in order to reveal true 13 Phase Unity Merkaba Lightbody Activation (thus doing away with the need for any backstage passes!). After the show, as a tribute to all their fans in NOLA, the band will throw a spectacular backstage party, with tuxedoed and top-hatted zombies serving complimentary Dixie Beer, shots of absinthe, and iced champagne laced with Gib's "Bottled Hell." There will also be plenty of special Tool JAMBALAYA, red beans & rice, Jujube-studded flaming Bananas Foster and glittering Beignets! Volto! to support. And when it's all over, in order to keep the live DVD under wraps, all those in attendance will be zapped by a memory-erasing device (Acme Neuralyzer) that was borrowed from Level 7 of the underground facility at Archuleta Mesa in Dulce, New Mexico. Therefore, Joseph, it might be that you've already saw the show of all Tool shows. Even met the band members! Might that explain those Jujubes in your pocket?

Q: "Hello, I would like to know if Tool plans to go on another tour sometime soon? My boyfriend and I live in Virginia and he LOVES Tool! Tool is the only band he will go see in concert. He is one of the Best guys in the world who like many has had a bad year due to lack of work. I would love to surprise him with the opportunity to go to one of your shows and have been checking your site off and on for the past year. Everything has been out west and beyond. I hope you can respond back with good news. I look forward to hearing back from you."

A: Although I don't have any specific details, look for some American tour dates in 2011. East coast venues (possibly including Virginia) are a good possibility.

Q: "Is it a possibility that there will be posters with Adams artwork available at the Australian concerts? Cheers, Matt."

A: Yes, I would expect to see them at the merch booths for each venue. There might also be some left over SIGNED 2010 WEST COAST/CANADA TOUR POSTERS (and shirts) for sale as specialty items in the TOOLARMY SHOPPING BAZAAR in the near future.

Q: "Hello. Are you guys ever coming to San Antonio? That would really make my day! huh.... I guess I'm your youngest fan since I'm fourteen."

A: As a card-carrying member of "The Benevolent Order of Armadillos", I believe that they will (SOMEDAY), although hopefully by then the San Antonio "curse" will be lifted without further banishing rites, etc.

Q: "Will the band be releasing and official vinyl version of "10,000 Days" at all? And would they consider doing a re-issue of "Aenima" on vinyl for those of us who can't afford an original?"

A: I don't know about Aenima, but I'm fairly certain that "10,000 Days" vinyl will be released soon - this because I've recently seen some test-pressings at Danny's manse.

Q: "Hello! My name is ********* and I am enquiring about an all access pass to either Big Day Out Gold Coast on Jan 23rd or Brisbane Entertainment Centre on Jan 24th. I truly know how bloody cheeky this sounds, I actually feel quite bad about enquiring in the first place, but there is a valid reason. I'm not simply a die-hard who wants to meet the band (although I can't rule myself out of that category, either!). I have a ticket already to both of these events (albeit crappy ones). I will however, be 37 weeks pregnant (less than 3 weeks from popping), and can't bear the thought of missing out on the shows while the guys are in Oz. Big Day Out is going to be an interesting scenario because it is exactly that... a HUGE day out, sweltering sun, and no seating. Perfect for a woman the size of a house and about to bust at the guts. My ticket to the entertainment centre is in a silver reserved seat (only took 15 mins for the gold reserved to sell out while I was waiting patiently in line), and is up a MILLION flights of stairs. Again, perfect for the fatty. I'm not even sure who I should be contacting about this issue... but you seemed a good first try. Perhaps you can point me in the right direction? Again, I know I'm being cheeky, but it's worth asking in any case."

A: Banged up, by Jingo! Sounds like someone cracked a fat without a franger. Well, that's wonderful, dear! Nothing like ankle bitters and carpet grubs. Little nipper's gonna be a great croc hunter, I reckon. Though I'm currently busier than a one-armed taxi driver with crabs, here's what I suggest. Once you enter the BDO, with all those bloody yobbos and gutfuls of piss in your way, hoof it - flat out like a lizard drinking - towards the main stage area. Because it's right hot, be sure to take a breather at the first billabong (no worries about that bunyip - it's not as aggro as you've been told). Continue on, watching out for salties, dingos and such... The mozzies and kookas will be bad, but it's the same for every bastard and his dog. Once you've reached the third humpy, sneak around the first jumbuck acting the raw prawn (that's security, but there's no need to fart a crowbar) until you see a fella there with a face like a festered pickle in a brown Akubra. (He'll probably also be wearing a necklace of shark's teeth and other Aussie foofaraw.) Ask him to take you back to where the ambos, garbos, kangas, and divvy vans are parked. Back where the barbies are smoking shrimp for the band and crew. Here, the stage manager should be obvious as a pimple on a pumpkin. He's the fellow buzzing around like a blue-arsed fly. Tell him that your mate, BMB, sent you, and Bob's your uncle! He should be able to give you a seat that is quite comfortable for a "37 weeks pregnant female" (now that you've asked twice!). But what about the salties?..

HAPPY TRAILS

www.cosm.org

MORE

MORE

photo by BMB

www.rajasband.com

WWW.AMAZON.COM (USA)

HARDCOVER: $39.95

SOFTCOVER: $13.95

AMAZON UK.

HARDCOVER

SOFTCOVER

Photo by BMB

"This is a very exciting time for Arizona winemakers and grape growers. There's a very healthy sense of competition in the air. We continue to inspire each other in all areas of this fabulous art. And the results of this event echo that sentiment. All wines from all over the state showed very well. Arizona has arrived," said vintner Maynard James Keenan, owner of Caduceus Cellars and co-owner of Arizona Stronghold which also took home 5 awards.

In the Wine Growers category, Caduceus 08 "Kitsune" received the Gold medal and Wine Growers Cup for Reds, Merkin Vineyards 09 "The Diddler" received the Gold medal and Wine Growers Cup for Whites, Merkin Vineyards "Lei Li Rose" received a Silver medal for Rose', Caduceus 09 "Dos Ladrones" and Merkin Vineyards 09 "Shinola" both received Bronze medals.

In the Wine Makers category, Caduceus 09 "Dos Ladrones" received a Gold medal for Whites, Caduceus 08 "Anubis" and 08 "Sancha" won Bronze medals for Reds.

In the Peoples Choice category, Merkin Vineyards 09 "Shinola" received the Gold medal for Reds.

The competition was run by Arizona Republic wine critic Richard Ruelas and Sportsman's Fine Wines' director Nathan Mears. The winners were announced on Friday, Nov. 5.

Caduceus Cellars has enjoyed an increasing amount of attention in the past two years as the vineyard begins to rack up awards and accolades including the 2008 Nagual del Judith taking top honors for a red wine at the 2010 Judgment of Arizona. The 2007 Nagual del Judith and Sancha received an 89 pt. score, the 2005 Nagual del Sensei & 2006 Nagual de la NAGA receiving a 90 pt. score, and the 2007 Primer Paso received a 91 pt. score from Wine Spectator.

Keenan's championing of Arizona wine country is the subject of the award-winning documentary, Blood Into Wine, which was recently released on DVD."

www.caduceus.org

STORE

WINE CLUB

(NOTE: if you're having trouble accessing the interview, type ADAM JONES in the search box.)

THE BAKED POTATO
3787 CAHUENGA BLVD., WEST
STIDIO CITY, CA. 91604

JANUARY 24 - BRISBANE at ENTERTAINMENT CENTRE

FEBRUARY 2 - MELBOURNE at MYER BOWL

TICKETS GO ON SALE NOVEMBER 8TH.

Here's one on-line REVIEW of ISSUE #4 in the series.

www.saintrocke.com

VOLTO! will be joined by "the monster funk machine known as "TrueSchool All-stars", and singer Jeremy Buck opening up the evening.

MONDAY NIGHT JAMMMZ (OCTOBER 25)

The special guest drummer will be DAVE ELITCH from THE MARS VOLTA, with ED ROTH from the bOMBASTIC MEATBATS on keys.

GALLERY

www.cosm.org

CONTACT

Product description: "York Beach, Maine USA: College of Thelema of Northern California / The Teitan Press, 2010. First Edition Hardcover. 8vo. xviii + 390pp. Blue cloth with silver title etc. to spine. Dustjacket. Frontispiece photo portrait, Index. Edition limited to 777 numbered copies. Phyllis Seckler (1917-2004) was introduced to the teachings of Aleister Crowley in the late 1930s and became a regular participant in the activities of Agape Lodge of the Ordo Templi Orientis in California, and rose to become a Ninth Degree member of the "Sovereign Sanctuary of the Gnosis." She was admitted to the A.'. A.'. under the tutelage of Jane Wolfe, eventually taking the now well-known "magical name" Soror Meral and was later confirmed as an Adeptus Minor by Crowley's successor, Karl Germer. Seckler was a key figure in the reinauguration of the O.T.O. in 1969, and a few years later she founded the College of Thelema, with the intention that it would provide important background training and education for aspirants to the A.'. A.'. Although not as widely known as some of her contemporaries, Seckler played a crucial role in the history of Thelema, not only through her efforts to explore and revive Crowley's creed, but also by training a new generation of its students. "The Thoth Tarot, Astrology & Other Selected Writings," is edited by three of Phyllis Seckler's former students: Rorac Johnson, Gregory Peters, and David Shoemaker. It includes a biographical sketch of Phyllis Seckler drawn from her own autobiographical writings, and two of her most important essays: "The Tarot Trumps of Thoth and Psychology" - a detailed analysis of the psychological and magical symbolism of the Trumps of the Thoth deck - and "Thoth Tarot and Astrology," a significant study of astrology and the natal chart, with special reference to the cards of the Thoth deck. Both of these essays were previously serialized in Seckler's journal In the Continuum, but they are here presented for the first time in book form, accompanied by redrawn and corrected diagrams. In addition to the essays the book also contains a selection of important correspondence between Seckler, Aleister Crowley, Karl Germer and Jane Wolfe. These are followed by a transcript of the last major interview conducted with Phyllis Seckler, in which she recounted the details of her introduction to Thelema and involvement with the old Agape Lodge, her subsequent participation in various Thelemic organizations, and her thoughts on developments within the Thelemic world. New Book. Fine in Fine dustjacket." 9780933429192 (Item ID: 38831) $45.00

www.weiserantiquarian.com

VANCOUVER, BRITISH COLUMBIA, OCTOBER 18th

EDMONTON, ALBERTA, OCTOBER 19th

MARKHAM suburb of TORONTO, ONTARIO, OCTOBER 20th

BURLINGTON suburb of TORONTO, ONTARIO, OCTOBER 21

AND... AT THE MONTREAL DRUM FEST on OCTOBER 23 www.montrealdrumfest.com

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION HERE

ORDER

CROWLEYMAS HAPPY HOUR AT THE SILVERLAKE CHA CHA LOUNGE
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 12 (6:00 PM - 9:00 PM)

Join us and our friends in celebrating CROWLEYMAS at the CHA CHA LOUNGE.

GUEST BARTENDERS: DANNY CAREY and BLAIR MacKENZIE BLAKE

Special "EAGLE TAIL" DRINKS, COMPLIMENTARY CURRY & DESSERT worthy of "The Wanderer of the Waste."
Music chosen for the occasion (including "A Clockwork Black")

FREE "WICKEDEST" POSTER SIGNED BY BMB and DANNY CAREY (dated 10.12.2010) with PURCHASE of "THE WICKEDEST BOOKS IN THE WORLD."

For collectors and others who are interested in buying fine art, ADAM's painting is FOR SALE. Please CONTACT the GALLERY for purchasing information.

SLOAN FINE ART
128 RIVINGTON STREET
(On the Lower East Side of NYC)

CONTACT

LINK: D&D

CoSM

See the Lustmord blog (http://b-lustmord.blogspot.com/) for further details and a link to audio of one of the tracks. And after only performing live one in the last 29 years Lustmord is once again venturing forth. You have have been warned:

October 22: Unsound Festival, Krakow, Poland.

October 27: Berghain, Berlin, Germany.

It is expected that grown men shall weep, women shall wail, children will will be unnaturally nervous and strange births will be reported at farms for miles around the vicinity of these performances."

BLOG:

http://b-lustmord.blogspot.com/

Lustmord on Twitter: http://twitter.com/BLustmord

TOOL BIG DAY OUT DATES

Jan 21 - Auckland
Jan 23 - Gold Coast
Jan 26 - Sydney
Jan 30 - Melbourne
Feb 4 - Adelaide
Feb 6 - Perth

With the 2011 BIG DAY OUT dates now confirmed (and fans hoping for some Tool solo shows to be added), the band members continue with their near daily jamming/writing sessions at the loft. And despite persistent rumors that they're about ready to go into the studio, the truth of the matter is that they're not that far along in the writing/arranging process (if you think playing a nano-Silverburst is difficult, try to imagine using nano-guitar effects with it). Even so, the guys are stoked about the new material - so much so, in fact, that perhaps it might be a good idea for me to drop in next week to hear for myself what one band member's girlfriend meant when she told me that it sounded like... Tool. And when I go to check it out, I'll be sure to take with me a very telling metal lid from a can of whole kernel corn that I recently purchased from "Trader Joe's" (yes, from an overly exuberant clerk at the local grocery chain with Nazi connections. (What do all of you hippies driving VW's think of that - I ask, while writing this at my Ikea desk?) The reason for bringing along the lid from the can of corn (maize to those students of the new-Mayanism) is, of course, to serve as a reminder and keep the band members focused on the task at hand - difficult as that might be - in order to produce a new album before it's too late. For certainly, along with the rebuilding of Babylon by Americans, the IRS buying shotguns, hole punch clouds, tropical drinks in Cleveland, and the Queefs starting the season at 3-0, it is further evidence that the world as we know it will end on December 21, 2012 e.a. (Better stock up on the "two-buck Chuck" when the fourth bell tolls!) And honestly, what good is a new Tool recording in a world with the envisioned Fourth Reich's Nibiru wunderwaffen, Popcicle sticks with boobs, assassin caterpillars, deep-fried Twinkies, and baby-killing pythons slithering in a doomed hellscape under a Miami black sun?

A PERFECT CIRCLE

In checking out the band's website, it appears that APC have sold out their 2010 FALL TOUR. Congrats on that... and to those who scored good seats.

VOLTO!

Volto! (DANNY CAREY, KIRK COVINGTON, LANCE MORRISON & JOHN ZIEGLER) will be stirring up all kinds of trouble at the BAKED POTATO jazz club in STUDIO CITY on SATURDAY, OCTOBER 16. For reserved seats (highly advised), call the club AFTER 7:00 PM - 818-980-1615

ADDRESS: 3787 Cahuenga Blvd., West
Studio City, Calif. 91607

ALOKE DUTTA PERFORMS IN SAN FRANCISCO

Tabla master Aloke Dutta will perform at CODA on FRIDAY, OCTOBER 8, 2010 at 10 P.M.

Admission: $ 12 (for both shows: Aloke Dutta, and Mike Dillon & Earl Harvin)

Address: 1710 Mission Street (at Duboce), San Francisco, CA 94103
Telephone: 415-551-CODA (2632)
The room is ages 21+
Website: http://www.codalive.com/

Hear Aloke's masterful solo tabla playing on Tool's "SALIVAL" CD.

Okay, at this point I was hoping to deliver some more (TOOL) tour-related news - having held off on publishing the newsletter for a few days with the knowledge that I would be attending a meeting with the band's management on the 29th (yesterday). Unfortunately, for now at least, there is nothing for me to add (even knowing that a turtle only makes progress when it sticks it's beck out). If things should change - decisions are made, contracts are signed - I will be sure to post in the news section on the site. In the meantime, people are encouraged to check the web for rumors and/or possible leaks, especially from fan sites closer to the source. I do, however, have one little piece of news regarding the 2011 BIG DAY OUT festival. Readers of this site might recall a recent post about ISIS drummer Aaron Harris' new website. Well, no sooner did we post his 'portfolio' than one drummer took interest. That drummer is Danny Carey, and he asked if his good friend would have any qualms in cracking open cans of Victoria Bitter and putting tomato sauce on his meat pie (i.e. being his drum tech for the BDO)? Having been informed that there might even be time for Mai-Tais along the way (on some ash-heap in the blue Pacific, I believe), Aaron accepted the offer. Of course, the bloke could have held out for the Rochefort Trappistes 10 stashed in D.C.'s dressing room.

photo by LaraLee

WATCH FOR SNAILS (or, at least, killer ticks)

Jan 21 - Auckland
Jan 23 - Gold Coast
Jan 26 - Sydney
Jan 30 - Melbourne
Feb 4 - Adelaide
Feb 6 - Perth

eBay Auction Number 220666678931

Oil Painting "REVOLTO"

... and one from her YOUTUBE CHANNEL PAGE.

THE COREY HELFORD GALLERY
8522 Washington Blvd.
Culver City, CA 90232-7444
(310) 287-2340

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25th

7 to 10 PM

Additional information about the artist HERE

www.coreyhelfordgallery.com

New in a series of 'beach-inspired' works: "EMAS EMAS" by KORIN FAUGHT

AUTO CLUB SPEEDWAY
9300 Cherry Avenue
Fontana, CA 92335.

www.epicenterfestival.com

For additional information about this important work (limited to only 777 copies, and certain to become highly-sought after by collectors), please visit www.weiserantiquarian.com . While you're there, you'll notice that the folks at Weiser also have a great catalog of hard to find occult titles.

TROUBADOUR
9081 SANTA MONICA BLVD.
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA. 90069

P.S. The staff at Guantanamo Bay Records really needs a space station vacation. xxx"

www.velvetslippersclub

ALOKE DUTTA AT "DAZZLE JAZZ CLUB"
930 Lincoln Street
Denver , CO 80203

 (303) 839-5100
info@dazzlejazz.com
http://www.dazzlejazz.com
ADMISSION $12
www.alokedutta.com

"Aloke Dutta is a renowned master Bengali tabla player. Aloke has become an important figure in modern music, having taught some of the most influential drummers of our time. He is very selective with his students. His pupils include Danny Carey, Terry Bozzio, Pat Mastelotto, Joe Porcaro, Simon Phillips, Roy Wooten, Aaron Harris, and David Miller."

ALSO PERFORMING - THE ORCHID SET (9:00 PM)
featuring: Dave Miller, Matt Skellenger, and Glenn Taylor

www.saborycultura.com

5625 Hollywood Boulevard, Los Angeles, Calif - (323) 466-0481

"I invite all of you to come get some of hollywoods finest coffee & check out the undersea world that inhabits my favorite creatures! This is where i spend most of my time and the beauty that surrounds me is SO magical and inspirational. please come down and feast your eyes on the little beauties i call my friends and if you feel like taking one home, all the profits go to www.saveoceanlife.org

Rynne"

Hell City Tattoo Fest
August 27-29, 2010 - Phoenix, Arizona
Arizona Biltmore 2400 E. Missouri Ave. Phoenix, AZ 85016
http://www.hellcity.com/

Admission: $10

Address: 618 West 6th St, Austin, TX 78701. Telephone: 512-479-8848

Website: http://www.momosclub.com

Please contact Momo's for tickets.

Aloke will also conduct a rhythm workshop and give private tabla lessons. For registration and further information please go to his site at www.alokedutta.com

www.voltoband.com

Back stage after the final Nokia show, amid a flurry of activity (and not just gorging on king crab legs washed down with Stellas and Old Peculiar ale), I asked Justin if the band members were going to take a break from each other or get back to writing new material, which is what they were in the process of doing before the opportunity for a summer mini-tour presented itself. "No, we're going to get back to jamming and writing!" was his emphatic reply. When I asked Danny the same question minutes later, he, too, assured me that the plan was to continue the writing process. I didn't get a chance to ask the other two members the same question, but while sitting in the nose-bleed section at a Dodgers-Mets game last Sunday afternoon, I reached into a bag of peanuts, grabbed a handful, and upon cracking open the FIRST ONE, was amazed to see that it contained four perfectly formed peanuts. Immediately it hit me that this was a most auspicious sign - a harbinger of good things to come, as well as a signal from above that the unity experienced by the band members during the tour would carry over once it was finished, Indeed, I was confident that they would get right back to writing new material. And that they probably won't tour again for at least six months gives them a golden opportunity to do just that. Now, to answer the question that is no doubt on everyone's mind at this point, "NO", I didn't eat the peanuts. But the person sitting next to me (who took the photo) did. Even so I don't think that this changes anything. The mere presence of such a wondrous thing speaks for itself. And if that wasn't enough, the Dodgers beat the Mets 1-0, and I enjoyed 2 cups of Stadium Budweiser for only $26.00.

"The Moving Finger writes; and having writ, Moves on."
[Omar Khayyam - Fitzgerald]

HAPPY TRAILS

Admission: $12

Address: 5205 E. Pacific Coast Highway , Long Beach , CA 90804 . Telephone: 562-498-2461

Website: http://www.dipiazzas.com

Tickets are available ONLY at: 714-497-0873 or email tickets@aepathy.com

ALOKE will also perform in Austin and Denver SOON!
Details at www.alokedutta.com

For those interested, here's an excerpt from the book. I've also included a different excerpt in the news section on Danny's WEBSITE

"... When the French poet Charles Baudelaire wrote "There is then a sublime country where bread is called cake, and is so rare a delicacy that it may beget war between brothers", he was most certainly referring to the growing rivalry amongst a couple of newbie Crowley bibliophiles. Although "Tool's" early European tours gave Danny (and I) a great opportunity to hunt for the works of the Beast outside of the USA, with the exception of London, there was usually but one of these 'delicacies' to be had in any given foreign city visited. Case in point: On a day off in Paris, after visiting a few tourist attractions (besides diesel fumes, rotting vegetables, and exotic spices), we decided to check the efficacy of a recently prepared Abramelin square that had been soaked in 'pomegranate' juice (what did you expect - a plenteous rich Elixir Rubeus?). Between sudsy glasses of Kronenbourg 1664 in sun-dappled cafes and pavement brasseries, we braved pigeons, bicycles, ham & cheese baguettes and children licking kaleidoscopic sugar-sticks on the noisy, crowded boulevards, all the while keeping our eyes peeled for any promising occult bookshops. Neither the reek of sewers nor the transitory scent of perfume was going to prevent us from scoring on that hot late afternoon. Actually, with a little diabolical assistance (the substitute El. Rub.), I thought we had a pretty good chance of a significant find in this city of hermetic preoccupations and former masses of vain observance. What with the scarlet and sable of dabblers in the occult arts, the sulphurous aureole of poisoned chalices, the blood and honey of slain black lambs, and centuries of sacrilege and heresy, if not goety from mold-empurpled leaves, surely there'd at least be a copy of "Little Poems in Prose."

Besides, everyone knows that it was in a Paris hotel in the late 1920s that Crowley and his assistant (his magical son, "McAleister") performed a ritual to summon the satyr-like deity Pan. During that long night, screams, howls, and loud bangs terrorized certain followers of the Beast who were awaiting the outcome of the dangerous rite in the room below. With the arrival of dawn, these junior disciples knocked repeatedly on the bolted door. After getting no answer, they had little choice but to break it down. Entering the destroyed makeshift temple, they were horrified to find the naked body of McAleister lying dead on the floor. Slumped in the corner was Crowley, mumbling incoherently, his magical robe having been slashed to pieces. It would take six months of being confined to a private lunatic asylum before he recovered any semblance of sanity. At least that's how the "gibbering wreck" story is usually told, having been recounted in numerous publications and bandied about on the Internet for years (with further embellishments). Unfortunately, its origin is the Dennis Wheatley novel, The Devil and All His Works, and is fairly typical of the Crowley legend as is swallowed by the gullible. Truth be known, this ritual didn't even happen in a Paris hotel. It was in the boudoir of a lady-friend. McAleister was only playing possum, and it took Crowley less than two weeks to recover while in the metal hospital (for which he didn't pay the bill).

What isn't a sensationalistic invention, however, is that several Crowley titles were printed in Paris, including "too hot to handle" works of pornographic verse like "Snowdrops from a Curate's Garden", the birthday ode lampoon of Queen Alexandra (Shanghai!), and his magnum opus, "Magick In Theory And Practice." And as you might recall, Danny and I were on a quest to find one of these (having stopped for another foamy amber treasure under one of those quaint café umbrellas). After an hour or so without any likely prospects, finally there appeared on the arcane horizon a bookshop of possible sufficient 'blackness' (despite dingy, many-colored calico curtains). With my mouth tasting of noxious tar wagons and tropical azure, I nevertheless had images of the Green Lion swallowing the sun as I entered and walked across the polished wooden floor. What gold transmuted from straw would we find here? What spirit of a rose from its ashes? What violet medicine of medals distilled via spagyric apparatuses?

Although the proprietor didn't wear a Phrygian cap, Sanka, and a tourmaline ring seemed promising. Let 's have a look at those worm-eaten grimoires and dusty alchemical tracts - their moldering pages copiously illustrated with a mythical zoology, abstruse glyphs, and occult heraldry. Where were the peacock tails, emblematic paintings of the mystic marriage/conjunctio, and resplendent phoenixes? Further exploration of the place revealed no alchemical menagerie. Not even a tiny back room containing the revolving wheel of the zodiac, celestial-astral liquid in copper vessels, flaming athanors, cucurbites, or the prism of sorcerer's bottles filled with the frozen flow of silver. Our pockets were filled with francs and bezants, and we damn near had the effluvium of Babalon tucked in our wallets. If nothing else, that ought to put us in a privileged position in the multiverse. Wait a minute. We weren't in pursuit of hidden knowledge. We were after rare Crowley first editions. Undaunted, it was up the scala philosophorum (nothing being at eye level) to peruse antique tomes of esotericism. What the hell? They were in French. Discovering the supreme secret through a book's opacities was one thing, but in French!

With all this unreadable arcana (even "the Language of the Birds" would have been preferable), we thought about heading to a store across the street to see if there might be anything of interest among the new age schmaltz. But then Danny spotted something in a locked glass case. Alas! Lying there was a grubby copy of Crowley's 1906 Gargoyles. With its blue/grey cloth boards stamped in red, this wasn't one of the scarcer issues printed on vellum, but being limited to only 300 copies, it was still considerably rare. As we tried to determine the price, the owner uttered something in broken English about "metrical composition." When Danny asked for my opinion, all I could think to say was something to the effect that "In common with non-waterspout grotesques, it was only of decorative usefulness." Of course, with its "Strangely Wrought Images of Life and Death" on pages with untrimmed edges, I desperately wanted this 'ordinary' edition for myself. At the current exchange rate, the price was the equivalent of $650.00 in US dollars. Even so, Danny decided to buy it - francs being merely 'Monopoly' money.

How synchronistic was this, though? Earlier, we had entered the great portal of what Victor Hugo called "that page of a conjuring book written in stone." That's right - Euro Disney. Sacrebleu! No, judging by the gilded statues blackened with candle-grease, we'd actually taken the Metro to Notre Dame Cathedral - that magnificent example of medieval architecture whose flamboyant Gothic imagery, according to some, openly displays the secrets of alchemy's Great Work. Though not that well versed in the phonetic cabala of the mysterious Fulcanelli, or of the esoteric interpretation of others with a profound knowledge of alchemical lore, we'd spent the better part of the day admiring its sculptured allegorical representations of hermetic enigmas. Along with curious medallions ornamenting the Central Porch, there were stained-glass windows whose multicolored facets symbolically transmitted the science of energy transformation. And with the pillars, buttresses, spires, arcades, and tympanum, were Byzantine dragons, tarasques, chimeras, salamanders, and menacing gargoyles - gargoyles perched over the imposing edifice and peering down from grey slate rooftops. Other than stopping for a Royal without cheese and several beers, we'd come directly from a structure encrusted with a bewildering array of grotesques to the Parisian occult bookshop with its rare copy of Crowley's Gargoyles. Synchronistic, indeed, wouldn't you say?

Although I was extremely confident about finding one of the 2 copies that were bound in red morocco, the worst thing about not using my Visa to purchase the copy of Gargoyles was that, later that evening, while at nightclub in the sparkling Champs-Elysees, my card was charged close to $1,400.00 for a single bottle of "Old Viscosity." (What did you expect, Montrachet or Richebourg?). Next time, if I want to get ripped off along with others of the tourist variety, I'm going to stick to crenellated boutiques, karaoke dungeons, or mingling with hermetists at the golden arches of McDonald's. And instead of pomegranate juice, occultly permeating my Abramelin talisman will be the menstruum of the lunar current. Oh well, as we say in L.A., C'est La Vie..."

THE WICKEDEST BOOKS IN THE WORLD
CONFESSIONS OF AN ALEISTER CROWLEY BIBLIOPHILE

By
BLAIR MacKENZIE BLAKE
PHOTOGRAPHY: DUNCAN BLAKE
FOREWORD: DANNY CAREY

Privately published by the author in a limited edition

"THE WICKEDEST BOOKS IN THE WORLD" is a large format (9 X 12) coffee table-style hardcover book containing over 50 glossy full color photographs of the rare, often magnificently produced, first edition books of the renowned British occultist, Aleister Crowley that are currently in the collections of the author and fellow bibliophile, Danny Carey. Printed and bound by one of the top printers in the world, this first hardcover edition is strictly limited to 1000 copies, with the first 156 copies numbered by way of an anti-consecrated page carefully removed from the author's personal copy of the 1922 British first impression of Crowley's notorious The Diary of a Drug Fiend (placed inside a clear envelope). Additionally, the first 333 copies are individually numbered and SIGNED by both the author and the author of the book's foreword, DANNY CAREY (who is featured throughout the book as avid collector of Crowleyana).

From the book's dust jacket flap: "Those who have opened this book merely out of curiosity might want to close it while there is still time. This is the author's caveat in the introduction, having, himself, become obsessed with collecting the exceedingly rare, limited first editions of Aleister Crowley - a hedonistic freethinker, esoteric philosopher, and self-proclaimed prophet of Thelema, whom the international press once labeled "The Wickedest Man in the World." For Blair MacKenzie Blake, it all began after he chanced upon a first printing of Crowley's novel, Moonchild: A Prologue in a little book store off the Las Vegas strip. Despite a price sticker of $1,650.00, he felt compelled to purchase it; unaware at the time that the book's author had performed magical operations to ensure the literary success of his prolific output. But, in the pursuit of wealth and fame from his writing endeavors, was it a requirement of the trans-mundane intelligences contacted, or just a clever scheme by the author to create complexity and rarity, that caused the Great Beast 666 to control nearly every aspect of a book's production, including typefaces, paper, bindings, size, color, price and astrological publication dates? Whatever the case, there can be little doubt that the magical techniques employed were effective. Especially on the present author (and a close friend), who have for years attempted to overcome this particularly insidious form of bibliophilia, only to find themselves repeatedly hunting for scarce Crowley titles on the e-landscape or in dusty antiquarian shops."

PRICE: $49.00 (Plus shipping and handling)

photo by Rynne Stump

OPENING RECEPTION: FRIDAY, JULY 9TH
7:00 PM - 12:00 AM

LINKS:

UNSOUND

LUSTMORD

LUSTMORD on Twitter: http://twitter.com/BLustmord

iPhoto of sunset over Area 51 by R. Estrada

Those interested in bizarre artwork should check out two fairly recent publications about the Australian artist, writer, mystic, and occultist, ROSALEEN NORTON (1917-1979), a woman whose works were seized and burned in the 50sw and 60s by the authorities who deemed the occult visions obscene and inspired by the worst kind of mediaeval demonology. Both books about this remarkable woman and her strange artwork ("THORN IN THE FLESH: A GRIM-MEMOIR" - Teitan Press/ 2009) and ("THREE MACABRE STORIES" - Teitan Press/ revised reissue 2010) contain informative introductions by Crowley scholar and antiquarian bookseller KEITH RICHMOND.

Available at www.weiserantiquarian.com

Once on the site, in the box "Search our Stock", type in "Rosaleen Norton."

www.rajasband.com

Album cover painting by KEVIN WILLIS

MONDAY, JULY 19 at the NOKIA THEATER.

TICKETS go ON SALE this FRIDAY, JUNE 25 at 10 am.