For those who haven't yet seen this (posted on the TA message boards, etc.), here's some ADAM JONES artwork for a couple of recent "Isis" shows. If time allows, perhaps we can talk AJ into creating the art for some posters for the upcoming Tool shows.
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Birthday cheers to VINCE DeFRANCO, inventor of The Dimension Beam, Mandala Drum, and the TRUE Dictoroboter (Aussie translating device). Where's it going down, Vince?... The pub?..
Thanks, Kat.
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Certainly one of Danny's favorite drummers - CAPT. KIRK (Covington) will be performing at the BAKED POTATO JAZZ CLUB tomorrow night (JUNE 17). The 'tator' is located at 3787 Cahuenga Blvd., West, STUDIO CITY, CA. 91604, just across the street from Carl's Jr. (where, if I'm not mistaken, you can get two jumbo chili dogs for $3). At any rate, Kirk will amaze you on the drums.
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Artist CHET ZAR has a piece in an eBay charity auction to help a young UK non-profit art magazine called "Dangerous Ink" from going under. All proceeds to help get the next issue out. Bid HERE
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Tickets for Tool's Manchester, New Hampshire show at the Verizon Wireless Arena on August 2 will go on-sale this Friday, June 19th.
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Of course, more was needed than the dining room table altar. We also had to eat lots of frozen fishsticks (that's STICKS) for Derek, and Eduardo did well in putting effigies of the Orlando stars in DC's Subzero. But of course, that's not magic. CONGRATS to the LAKERS!!! and I'm very happy that Danny was there to see it.
photo by LaraLee
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I've received quite a bit of email from people who have read "DARKLORE, VOLUME III, and are now interested in acquiring for themselves a copy of the "VARO EDITION" of M.K. Jessup's "The Case for the UFO" so that they might attempt to unravel any secrets of the esoteric technologies hinted at in the annotations and underscoring of "Mr. A", "Mr. B", and "Jemi" (i.e. Carlos Allende?). Well, as I mentioned in my contribution (see "ABOVE KOOK STATIS: THE STRANGE CASE OF MORRIS K. JESSUP AND THE VARO EDITION"), there was a time when the book was thought to be virtually unobtainable, with others doubting that it really existed. Fortunately this is no longer the case (fortunately, depending on whether or not you believe that a tradition of bad luck or strange circumstances is connected with possession of the Varo edition). Although any copy of the original publication that was clandestinely produced by high-ranking personnel at The Office of Naval Research in 1957 (?) is rare in the extreme, in the early 1970s Gray Barker's small "Saucerian Press" issued a facsimile that was both expensive to produce, and 'costly' for those researchers who wanted a copy. Part of the reason for the exorbitant price (as those considered it to be at the time) was to off set the time and cost required to separate the marginalia, frequent underscoring, etc. (which were printed in red ink, as they appeared in the ONR version) from the original text. For this and others reasons, today, even the Saucerian reprint of the Varo edition is very hard to come by, selling for in excess of $1,000.00 if a copy can be found on the second-hand market.
(Note: I remember many years ago bidding on a Saucerian reprint of the Varo edition on eBay. Just prior to the auction ending, I found myself outbid by someone who was willing to pay over $500.00. Several days later while having dinner at Danny's house I noticed the book on his cluttered coffee table. When I pointed it out, he looked at me with a sly grin and said, "Oh, that piece of shit, you can have it." Obviously it was he who had outbid me, and had done so not only in a humorous manner, but also as a very generous gesture. As for finally finding the original, it was exactly where I always thought one might turn up - in the bargain bin where it was tossed by someone who was ignorant of the book's status as the "Holy Grail" of vintage 'flying saucer' publications.)
Although the chances of acquiring either one of these versions of the Varo edition is rather slim, there was one book seller located in the Pacific Northwest who was offering a few facsimile copies (most likely black and white Xerox copies of a Saucerian reprint, thus lacking the red mimeograph stencils, etc.) for around $100.00 each. However, at the time of this writing, NO copies could be found in doing a check of the e-landscape (ABE, etc.). I'm not sure if this is due to any copyright violations, but also recently there appeared on amazon.com a new soft cover book entitled "The Allende Letters AND the Varo Edition of The Case for the UFO" by Morris K. Jessup, and now it, too, has all but disappeared, with only one USED ("acceptable") copy being offered for a stratospheric price of $371.00! Strange indeed...
To learn more about The Varo Edition of Dr. Jessup's book, see DARKLORE VOL III, an anthology of hidden history, western esotericism, ufology, cryptozoology, paranormal occurrences, Fortean phenomena, and a dash of conspiracy theory, which is now available from DailyGrail Pubishing in both a limited edition hard cover (only 333 copies) and less expensive soft cover format at Amazon.com. As with the first two volumes of DARKLORE, the third installment contains numerous subjects (316 pages) that are sure to fascinate those who are interested in these mysteries.
PURCHASING INFORMATION
Pictured is my copy of the ultra rare Varo Edition of "The Case for the UFO"
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There is still a chance to purchase some works from CHET AND JAMES ZAR's ART SHOW, "WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE", as the showing continues until JUNE 20th. Here are some great PHOTOS from Chet's blog spot, as well as (below) a piece entitled "Enlightenment" that an art savvy member of TOOL recently purchased. Visit the gallery's WEBSITE , and then go see the works in person.
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Just a friendly reminder for those who are planning on going to the signings at WHOLE FOODS MARKETS in Florida. Here, again, are the dates, times, and locations.
June 9 - 4:30 to 7:30 pm - Miami, FL (6701 Red Rd. Coral Gables)
June 10 - 4:30 to 7:30 pm - Boca Raton, FL (1400 Glades Rd.)
June 12 - 4:30 to 7:30 pm - Orlando, FL (8003 Turkey Lake Rd.)
June 13 - 2:00 to 5:00 pm - Jacksonville, FL (10601 San Jose Blvd.)
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AUGUST 5/09 - Toronto, ON - Molson Amphitheatre / ON-SALE 6/13
AUGUST 7/09 - Cincinnati, OH - PNC Pavilion / ON-SALE 6/20
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In the artist's own words: "My goal was to make a dark and gritty sci-fi/horror based cybernetic dream experience type thing with a couple of good friends, a camera, some duct tape, and a computer. Pure Gorilla as they call it. Adam Jones was a huge influence during this creative process. I look at him like a master Jedi and director/creator of all things awesome, his work pretty much speaks for itself. I remember as a kid watching the TOOL videos that Adam directed and being completely enthralled almost mesmerized like a moth to a flame. I've never seen anything like this before but I know one thing... I like it. His work opened my mind to another plane that I didn't even know existed. Later in life we became friends and when I told him I wanted to direct my own film he gave me an important piece of advise that I've kept with me everyday of production. He basically said to look at every shot like a piece of art. If your going to put your name on something make sure its something YOU are happy with (emphasis on YOU) because if you truly consider it to be a piece of art then in a way it is a reflection of yourself."
Check out the trailer HERE
Look for more of Matt's stunning art in a future Tool project (i.e. "the big thing")
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Our friend ADAM STARK is having a CD release party for "TWIST" TONIGHT (JUNE 4th) at the 'tator.' Excellent jazz for those who are into it. And then on FRIDAY (JUNE 5), VOLTO! returns.
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At the Lakers' victory celebration the other night, Sturgeon bassist Paul Vilas Jones momentarily takes over the grill as I snap this photo - thus revealing once and for all the heathen near-vegan's secret technique for grilling the perfect burger (Hint: it's not just the Lipton onion mix with its disodium guanylate and such). And, yes, while we were fighting the fumes, we did discus a possible new Tool summer tour show, although I promise its not to be found as an anagram in the ingredient above.
I'll put a couple more photos up in the ToolArmy photo galleries.
photo by BMB
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Please note that the ticket on-sale date for Duluth show (July 27) has been changed to JUNE 13.
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Unless it's a present from your typical grey Reticulian neonate named Roger, all you CoSMNAUTS will want these things to be functional. In fact, here's a message of concern from ALEX GREY:
"HOLY SHIT!"
"Double septic surprise at CoSM, Chapel of Sacred Mirrors! How do you doo when both septic systems, one behind the main house and one behind the office, on the 40 acres of CoSM's new Art Sanctuary in the Hudson Valley collapse in the same week? Got to replace them, but these systems are very expensive! These needed improvements will be a tremendous asset and essential to the health and well-being of the site. Our architect, Al Cappelli, and our contractor, Kevin Lund are very proud of these jobs assuring us that they will last a hundred years. Contribute today, poop with confidence at CoSM tomorrow...
CoSM needs your support now more than ever. We are asking those who have gotten value from the artwork and from CoSM activities to please consider making a generous contribution today."
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DANNY, PETER, SHEP, JOHN, and a hell of a lot of Angelenos want to wish MIKE and LARA SAVAGE all the best with their recent move to Arizona. Yeah, big Mike's now residing in the "Grand Canyon State" (which just got a bit smaller), but can there be any doubt that the PIGMY LOVE CIRCUS will one day return to the stage. CHEERS Mr. SAVAGE!
photo by Rynne Stump
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I and a few others have to go to California next week to start getting some things ready for this summer run. I've had some work here that I could have dragged through the coming week but decided to gracefully duck out of it and grant myself some freetime before departure. Had a storm come in today from over the tops of the Adirondack mountains that drove a pine tree into my driveway. That should take one day to deal with. My uncles boat got blown off its mooring and ended up near the beach.That should take another day to deal with. My dad is 78 years old and blind in one eye and has to go in for his drivers exam-road test! Probably half the afternoon on Thursday. The whole afternoon if he starts making threats at the DMV... The Captain is in Moscow, leaving Miz Kalashnikov and myself to plan out the next couple of weeks. Junior is pissed at me, I think. Should probably deal with that tomorrow... I asked for it anyway. Lesson: Always give yourself a little bit more time than you think you might need.
Obviously this was written by Eric and intended for "Notes From the Crew." - BMB
Please note that the on-sale date for RIO RANCHO, NM has been changed to JUNE 6. ALSO, the JULY 27 Atlanta show has been switched to DULUTH at GWINNETT ARENA (July 27, with tickets on-sale JUNE 6).
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Volto! (DANNY CAREY, KIRK COVINGTON, LANCE MORRISON, and JOHN ZIEGLER) will be performing at THE BAKED POTATO in STUDIO CITY on FRIDAY, JUNE 5th. Advanced tickets suggested.
818-980-1615
photo by Paul Goldman
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"Satellite Skin": A new video by KEVIN WILLIS.
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Looks like they're sprucing up the Santa Fe grill for the Memorial Day "Hubcap Corral" Monday Night Jammmz & BDAY BBQ at the BAKED POTATO jazz club. Grill master Mike Fox will be there with the usual gastronomic fare, and others are encouraged to bring any sides, desserts, etc. Word has it that some blue ribbon carne asada is also being marinaded for the event. And with the temperature on the rise (according to JJ), I suppose that I could lug the Silver Coleman down as well. So bring a musical instrument, some canned turtle (or whatever), a purple Sharpie, and we'll hope to see you there. (Note: Memorial Day Observed is MAY 25)
THE BAKED POTATO
3787 Cahuenga Blvd., West
Studio City, CA. 91604
UPDATE: After careful consideration I have decided to bring the Gold Coleman instead of "Silver" to the jammmz/barbecue tonight. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause, but rest assured, it also keeps things properly chilled.
photo by Paul Goldman
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SOME MORE DATES:
JULY 18 - DENVER THE FIELDS AT DICK'S SPORTING GOODS PARK/FESTIVAL
JULY 19 - SALT LAKE CITY, UT - ENERGY SOLUTIONS ARENA
JULY 21 - PHOENIX, AZ - US AIRWAYS ARENA - ON SALE MAY 30
JULY 22 - RIO RANCHO, NM - SANTA ANA STAR CENTER - ON SALE JUNE 6
JULY 24 - SAN ANTONIO, TX - AT@T CENTER - ON SALE MAY 30
JULY 27 - DULUTH, GA - GWINNETT ARENA - ON SALE JUNE 6
JULY 29 - CHARLOTTE, NC - BOJANGLE'S COLISEUM - ON SALE MAY 29
JULY 30 - FAIRFAX, VA - PATRIOT CENTER - ON SALE MAY 30
AUG 1 - JERSEY CITY - ALL POINTS WEST FESTIVAL/ON SALE NOW
MORE ON-SALE DATES ADDED
More dates to be announced once confirmed
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WHOLE FOODS MARKET (and elsewhere)
June 3 - 4:30 - 7:30 pm - Milwaukee, WI (2305 N. Prospect Ave.)
June 5 - 4:30 - 7:30 pm - Chicago, IL (1500 N. Kingsbury)
June 6 - 2:00 - 5:00 pm - Chicago, IL (1101 S. Canal St.)
June 9 - 4:30 to 7:30 pm - Miami, FL (6701 Red Rd. Coral Gables)
June 10 - 4:30 to 7:30 pm - Boca Raton, FL (1400 Glades Rd.)
June 12 - 4:30 to 7:30 pm - Orlando, FL (8003 Turkey Lake Rd.)
June 13 - 2:00 to 5:00 pm - Jacksonville, FL (10601 San Jose Blvd.)
June 16 - 4:30 to 7:30 pm - Boston, MA (340 River St.)
June 17 - 4:30 to 7:30 pm - Boston, MA (340 River St.)
June 18 - 5:00 to 8:00 pm - Springfield, NJ (NOTE: not at Whole Foods - Wine Library - 586 Morris Ave.)
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Nice artwork by ADAM!
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"WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE"
Just a friendly reminder about CHET and (father) JAMES ZAR's ART SHOW at L'Imagerie Gallery this SATURDAY NIGHT (MAY 16th). Having a chance to preview some of the pieces, I strongly urge those who are interested to attend the OPENING (7PM - 11:00 PM) . In fact, I'm fairly certain that at LEAST one art savvy member of TOOL has his eye on a couple of pieces, if he hasn't already made arrangements to purchase them. Anyway, this should be an interesting night for fans of strange art. For additional information (including the press release), please see my POST FROM MAY 11.
10555 Victory Boulevard
North Hollywood, CA 91606
818 762-8488
Hours:
Tuesday-Saturday - 11:30 AM -6:00 PM
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It looks like one of my favorite bass players, CHRIS ROY, will be sitting in for Lance at tomorrow night's VOLTO! show, and I'm not just saying that because he's my next door neighbor. I believe there are still tickets available, and would urge people to get to the venue in time to catch STURGEON's set (they should go on around 10.00). We hope to see you there.
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is confirmed. Tickets will be on-sale this... Friday. One of the best Tool shows ever will be on JULY 25... at the NOKIA THEATER at GRAND PRAIRIE. And being that it's such a big state... who knows... maybe more.
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Our friends "STURGEON" will be opening for VOLTO! this Friday night (MAY 15) at the KNITTING FACTORY. In the meantime, here are some links to their websites, and to download their debut album "THE DARKER SEQUENCE" for FREE. And while you're visiting the site, be sure to check out that nifty BIO (written for a bottle of Jack).
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"(North Hollywood*) L'Imagerie Gallery* is extremely proud to present *"When Worlds Collide"* an intergenerational exhibit of light and dark works by *James and Chet Zar*, opening*Saturday, May 16^th , 2009*, with a gala soiree from 7PM to 11PM.
This is a father and son show that is amazing in it's polarity of imagery. You would be hard pressed to visually discern that both painters are related-except for their astounding facility with a paintbrush and clarity of their respective vision. This is more than a father/son exhibit, it's a visual polemic of antipodean aesthetics, contradictory world-views and a personal glimpse into the genetics of visual creativity.
Father, *James Zar*, who is also referred to as /The Still Life Magician/, creates his striking still life and visionary works in oils, inspired by a life of living near the sea. His colorful works burst with elemental imagery and many depict the life sustaining quality of water. Water=life and painting=transcendence in James Zar's universe. The sanctity of nature is celebrated in dreamlike reverie; the human element is but only a part of James Zar's works. Zar attended Valley Junior College, the Pasadena Playhouse and the San Francisco Art Institute where his interest in art was encouraged and expanded by his mentor, the late master painter, Keith Finch. Joe Hales and Raymond Escar were influential instructors. He holds a lifetime adult teaching credential in California.
Zar's tribute to Al Davis hangs in Canton, Ohio's Football Hall of Fame. He has participated in many shows including the Port of L.A. Bicentennial Art Show where he won First Place and People's Choice Awards and he was awarded the San Dimas Art Festival's Gold Medal.
While James Zar's world teems with life and symbiosis with nature, son, *Chet Zar's* focus is darker, foreboding and depicts fear and death in a gorgeous palette of ochre's and grayscales - a dark yang to his fathers ying, Chet Zar is reminiscent of a 21^st century Goya, whose point of reference are horror and science fiction films, mining beauty from horror, his compelling subjects aren't monsters- they are us.
These combined interests (horror films and art) eventually culminated into a career as a special effects make up artist, designer and sculptor for the motion picture industry, designing and creating creatures and make up effects for such films as/, "The Ring", "Hellboy", "Planet of the Apes"/ and the critically acclaimed music videos for the art metal band, Tool. For the last decade Zar has also embraced the digital side of special effects as well, utilizing the computer to translate his dark vision with 3D animation for Tool's live shows and subsequently releasing many of them on his own DVD of dark 3D animation, "Disturb the Normal", "Chet's art is beautiful & scary. His style has a modern twist crashing into a classical approach. I think Chet is a master painter on his way to making a great mark in our little world. Wanna do something smart with your money? Invest in a Chet Zar painting." - Adam Jones (TOOL).
James and Chet Zar are brilliant technicians as well as visionaries, who ironically choose different ends of the light and life spectrum to express their obsessions with existence and death, fear and exaltation and horror and happiness. This exhibit lays bare a father and son's two worlds of opposites- aesthetically and stylistically, connected by a family tie and the obsession to express good and evil inherent in the human condition as they apply to the natural -or supernatural world."
When Worlds Collide runs through June, 2009.
L'Imagerie Gallery
10555 Victory Boulevard
North Hollywood, CA 91606
818 762-8488
www.limageriegallery.com
www.myspace.com/limageriegallery
Hours:
Tuesday-Saturday - 11:30 AM -6:00 PM
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Danny, Rynne, Frank and some close friends getting an early start on his birthday last night at a barbecue hosted by our favorite L.A.P.D. officer and his wife.
photo by BMB
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Birthday greetings to Danny from all of us. You know what he wants today... a W !
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CHET ZAR & FATHER
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Did you see that Ticketmaster has listed a Tool show at the EnergySolutions Arena in Salt Lake City, Utah for Sunday, July 19, 2009... with tickets set to go on sale this Saturday, May 9th, 2009 at 10:00 am? Of course you did.
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Mas cerveza, por favor!
photo by Camella, who is currently doing some diving in the Yucatan
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VOLTO! (DANNY CAREY, KIRK COVINGTON, LANCE MORRISON and JOHN ZIEGLER) will be performing on the MAIN SPACE of THE KNITTING FACTORY on FRIDAY, MAY 15.
SPECIAL GUEST: STURGEON
THE KNITTING FACTORY
7021 Hollywood Blvd., Suite 209
Hollywood, CA. 90028 323 463-0204
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Danny sitting in during the Monday Night Jammmz last night at the Baked Potato (after the Lakers' victory, of course). Funny to see Dan playing Bernie's drumkit, but the boys were on fire at around 1:00 AM. (and, yes, that's Billy Steinway on the keys).
Blurry photo by BMB 
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I'm pleased to announce that DARKLORE VOL III, an anthology of hidden history, western esotericism, ufology, cryptozoology, paranormal occurrences, Fortean phenomena, and a dash of conspiracy theory, is now available from DailyGrail Pubishing in both a limited edition hard cover (only 333 copies) and less expensive soft cover format at Amazon.com. As with the first two volumes of DARKLORE, the third installment contains numerous subjects (316 pages) that are sure to fascinate those who are interested in these dark puzzles - articles that have been thoroughly researched by authors who don't suffer from the kind of blindness (when it comes to interpreting reality) that many other less open-minded individuals are afflicted with.
For a list of authors and contents, please visit the Dailygrail WEBSITE
Some free content SAMPLES
PURCHASING INFORMATION
I am once again thankful to Greg Taylor to have been asked to contribute to this outstanding anthology. What did I write about this time? Well, in the words of the book's editor: " Blair MacKenzie Blake opens his rare book collection to give us all a glimpse into the strange circumstances surrounding the legendary 'Varo Edition' of UFO investigator M.K. Jessup's "The Case For The UFO."
And finally: In my experience with books of this nature (in particular the collectible limited edition hardcover), you either get them when they're first published, or take a chance on paying dearly down the road.
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Danny's tabla teacher, ALOKE DUTTA, is now selling a few selected tracks (12 total) from his four CDs at his WEBSITE . Those who are interested can download songs for $1.25 per track. If you aren't familiar with Aloke, listen to "PUSHIT" on Tool's "SALIVAL" box set. Besides Danny, Aloke's students include Terry Bozzio and Pat Mastelotto of KIng Crimson, just to name a few.
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tickets
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A couple of places to spend your entertainment dollar tonight in Los Angeles. You probably already know about THE MONDAY NIGHT JAMMMZ (John, Jamie, Chris and Bernie) at THE BAKED POTATO (3787 Cahuega Blvd., West, Studio City, CA. 91604), but there's also Chris Pitman, Kelly Wheeler, Marko Fox and company (SEXTAPES) at the KEY CLUB in HOLLYWOOD. In these times of economic woes, why not try to make it to both... Tomorrow, I should have some news about another local band of interest.
SexTapes Live
April 20, 2009
THE KEY CLUB
9039 Sunset Blvd
West Hollywood CA 90069
(310) 786-1712
Show starts at 8:30pm and SexTapes play at 10:00 PM.
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BLACK MATH HORSEMAN RECORD RELEASE PARTY
TUESDAY, APRIL 21 (that's tomorrow!)
SILVERLAKE LOUNGE
2906 SUNSET BLVD., SILVERLAKE, CA.
9:00 PM
Come on down and meet Sera, Ian, Bryan... and the "Skullet." Kat will be there. Hell, maybe we'll even get Heather off the beach.
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To meet her, go HERE.
2007 Caduceus, Nagual del Judith. 100% Northern Arizona Cabernet Sauvignon.
$99.99. Only 90 cases produced.
Also available now:
2008 Caduceus, Dos Ladrones. 50% Arizona Malvasia Bianca, 50% Arizona Chardonnay. $39.99.
175 cases produced.
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Volto last night and my newspaper delivery job can't keep me from giving birthday greetings to MJK. As for a gift, I hope you like this... or do you want the actual bottle? If so, I've a few more lawns to cut... In the meantime, CHEERS from the ever expanding Tool Family! (I'll bet he's glad I talked Danny out of calling at 4:00 am).
photo - Duncan Blake
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at the BAKED POTATO (3787 Cahuenga Blvd., West, Studio City, Ca. 91604). We hope to see you there.
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Musicians, here's a MANDALA program update from Vince De Franco: "This new Virtual Brain v1.5 update is a direct response to user requests to make the program easier for people configuring and playing multiple Mandalas. Now the Main window shows and lets you configure up to 5 pads. The graphics have also been updated to light up which zone you are hitting as you play as well as the exact strike ring position." More info HERE. Did you get all that?
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Thanks to Rynne for taking this photo. There were a few problems at my shoot this morning. First, I couldn't find any purple "peeps", and then the chocolate marshmallow bunnies that I placed around a defiant resurrected alien all melted. Again, thanks to Rynne for saving the day. You probably didn't know that Danny owns an actual ancient alien skull, did you? Oh well, as Carlos Allende once said: HAPPY EASTER!
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MEEKOHTUTRAH
photo: LaraLee
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Check THIS out.
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Keyboardist SCOTT KINSEY will be performing live at the Baked Potato Jazz Club on WEDNESDAY, APRIL 8th at 9PM. STEVE TAVAGLIONE on sax, and VOLTO's KIRK COVINGTON on drums.
Scott Kinsey: Keyboards
Steve Tavaglione: Saxophone
Rufus Philpot: Bass
Kirk Covington: Drums
thebakedpotato
www.scottkinsey.com
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In an earlier post (perhaps a birthday greeting), I'm fairly certain that I mentioned that former Tool website writer KAT POPOVIC has written a novel. It's titled "Bury Me Barefoot", and if you'd like to preview the first chapter, it's available for free on amazon.com, as part of a "Breakthough Novel Award (contest)." For those who are interested, here's the LINK.
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Cheers to TOOL's manager, Pete, who... knows all the tour dates (except for one).
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who is shown here diving for the birthday dinner. What's it going to be? Prehistoric frilled shark? Snaggletooth? Deep-sea stargazer? Mudskipper? Lanternfish? Hatchetfish? Ocean Snork-Whomper? Lizardfish? Fangfish? Seadevil? Alabama cavefish? Leafy sea-dragon? Black-lip rattail (ummm), Dumbo Octopus? AquaTarkus, Mantis shrimp? Longhorn Cowfish... Ah, fuck it... How about we just grill up some burgers? Happy Birthday, and love from us all!
photo by dive partner Rynne
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These two shows have been confirmed, with more to follow. I've been told that there will be ToolArmy pre-sales, but haven't received the details yet. As soon as more dates are confirmed, they will be posted, along with the pre-sale information.
Jul 18 2009 - Mile High Music Festival - Commerce City, CO, USA
Aug 01 2009 - Liberty State Park - Jersey City, NJ
Tickets on sale: April 6
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MJK returns to the Los Angeles stage, with JR on lights, and a guest drummer? Another show on Sunday night!
photo by Isaac Brekken
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Volto! returns to the "Splendid Spud" on THURSDAY, APRIL 16th.
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JESUS LOVES YOU. THEN AGAIN (like the tee-shirt says), HE LOVES EVERYBODY.
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At some point tomorrow, I will have an important message for you... one that is very apropos for the month of April...
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TOOL NEWSLETTER
MARCH, 2009 E.V.
As a tribute to the Chumash Indians that once lived on their property, Justin and Shelee recently had a teepee erected near the house (yes, a large dome-shaped hut made of willow branches that slept 49 people was their second choice). What the Tool bassist plans on doing with the structure is anyone's guess, but knowing that a certain section of the acreage contains a "supernatural" power zone that was, itself, enhanced by abstract pictographs painted by the shaman-astronomer (known as an "alchuklash") in a particular sandstone cave (the rock shelter that Dannny and Justin were in - which I posted on the website at an earlier date), it's not only possible, but highly likely that he might draw inspiration from it, with the end result manifesting itself on the next Tool album. In fact, it could be that Justin is currently composing music in one of the 'dreaming-beds' of the "trip'-ne" (as these power points are called) - those used ceremoniously nearly a thousand years ago by the alchuklash, employing jimson weed to transcend 'ordinary reality' and take magical flights to otherworlds. Now, I'm not suggesting that Justin is conducting his own Chumash-style vision quest (considering that datura can be deadly!), looking for empirical evidence of these trans-mundane beings that are depicted in the colorfully decorated caves, but he may be engaged in some type of experimentation (absorbing a previous vibe, etc.)... strictly for shamanic purposes (and, of course, to enhance a future prog-metal recording). Watch out for Poxono, though!
Although many scholars believe that the strange imagery on rock paintings found in Chumash country (coastal southern California) to be the result of visual effects of sacred ceremonies in which the powerful hallucinogenic datura was used, whose to say that they're not the stylized depictions of the inhabitants of the lost continent of Lemuria or MU (as in the MaliMU) who once settled in the Santa Monica Mountains? And if they were only the alternative lifestyle, hippie-bohemian Lemurians, with their ancient VW van-vimanas and bumper sticker-laden mercury vortex engine vailxi, then the 'visualizations' make even more sense (the liquid mercury proton gyroscopes of a disemboweled vimana is clearly evident in at least one pictograph!). If this is indeed the case, then the place is even more charged with 'unknown' energies...not to mention those portals guarded by heavenly mosquitoes and such (see: "When Demons Rule California").
Ah Topanga Canyon... mysterious petroglyphs inspired by the powerful hallucinogenic datura , phantom footsteps, numerous UFO-tulpas from grandmother Momoy's private stash, patchouli-scented whirligigs, negative vortices, tie-dyed guardian spirits, and a "turtle crossing" sign. No wonder Jim Morrison also once lived in this place meaning "ABOVE." As for the Chumash people, don't worry. They've now got a casino-resort with slot machines, buffets, Lexus hybrid giveaways, and Joe Cocker performing on May 21 (who needs the goddess of the datura flower!) As far as I know, though, those rumors about Charlie Manson's band "The Milky Way" (with Bobby Beausoleil on lead guitar and bass clarinet) doing a reunion show at the casino are not true. Still, you might check Abuelita's calendar. (Note: For more information about the Chumash shaman-astronomers and ritual intoxication involving jimson weed, see "The Long Trip: The Prehistory of Psychedelia" by Paul Devereaux, recently reissued by Daily Grail Publishing, and available at amazon.com.)
Anyway, that's what Justin may or may not be up to these days. As far as other band-related news, the last meeting with 3D artist Meats Meier went great (as he acknowledged in a recent blog). Adam and Kevin Willis are up to some mischief. Maynard is back from the wine signings in Texas, and is getting ready for the Puscifer shows at Club Nokia. Danny has added yet another monster modular synth to his collection, and is currently recording... something at the loft. Besides that, we should have some Tool tour dates posted soon. Now, show me the way to the next supernatural power zone...
HAPPY TRAILS
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Back from "South by Southwest", BLACK MATH HORSEMAN will be performing at the REDWOOD BAR & GRILL on SUNDAY, MARCH 29. For those who've never been there, the address is 316 W. 2nd St., Los Angeles, CA. 90012. The band starts at 9:30 PM. Hope you can make it... they have sliders on the menu.
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I'm sure many of you have heard of an upcoming summer tour. Although I can't announce any specific dates yet (as the bulk of the dates haven't been confirmed), once they are finalized and official, we'll be sure to announce them on the site. So... be on the lookout for these dates to be posted soon, and get ready for live Tool this summer. (Now I understand what that elemental was referring to in the February newsletter)
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At least the Whole Foods markets in Texas have big ass parking lots. It takes a couple of attendants and a shoe horn to get out of the one here in Studio City (and that's without any wine signings). SUGAR LAND (HOUSTON) on THURSDAY, MARCH 26, and then it's ALAMO QUARRY (SAN ANTONIO) on FRIDAY the 27th. With the new moon, watch out for armadillos, and please pick up those "Whataburger" wrappers. As we say in L.A., don't mess with Texas! (Note: See my March 6 post for more information).
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MEATS MEIER and CHET ZAR will be among those featured in an art show this weekend in Los Angeles. This show is a bit unique in that their work in progress is filmed, with the end result speeded up and synced to music. Here's the site.
The Art of Sketch Theatre
at The Gnomon Gallery
1015 N. Cahuenga Blvd.
Hollywood, CA. 90038
March 21 - April 20
http://www.gnomongallery.com/
Public Opening and Artists Reception
SATURDAY, MARCH 21st 2009
7pm - Midnight
Live Models, DJ, Open Bar & more!
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After completing another open water sailing certificate, Justin and friend were rewarded with an adventure on the topsail schooner "Lynx" - a Newport Beach-based replica of the 1812 American privateer tall ship (of the same name) that once defended merchant vessels against... the British. What a difference 197 years makes. Not sure if they fired any cannons at approaching pleasure craft.
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JUSTIN and SHELEE getting in some skiing. What's next - sailing the blue Pacific?
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A big thank you to those who made it to the benefit for John at the 'tator' last night (as well as to those who contributed generously from places elsewhere). Looking around, it seemed as if everyone was there, except (ironically... and fortunately) the L.A. Fire Marshall. I mean, it was nuts! On this St. Paddy's Day, I would also like to thank four guys whose last names are Chancellor, Jones, Keenan, and Carey for not only allowing - but encouraging the use of their official website for the benefit of others, rather than focusing on themselves, as seems to be the case with other band websites. Thanks again to all those who made the benefit a huge success. BTW, if you're looking for great live entertainment tonight, VOLTO!'s own CPT. KIRK will be performing at THE BAKED POTATO (Tues., March 17), and I happen to know that he'd love to see you there (even with a green beer).
Just one of the heroes from last night - grillmaster M. Fox doing your burger right.
blurry photo by LaraLee
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Just a friendly reminder about the benefit for John Z tonight at THE BAKED POTATO in STUDIO CITY. For those who can't make it, but would still like to help (as many of you already have), here are a few places to do so:
"Austin guitarist/singer and all around great guy, Chris Tondre is accepting Paypal donations on behalf of John, via his account: (crix_35@hotmail.com). Please specify that the contribution is for John Z."
Another great friend, Dale Wagler from Line 6, is also accepting mail-in donations and letters to John from those without Paypal that still want to help contribute:
Line 6, Inc.
Attn: Dale Wagler
26580 Agoura Rd.
Calabasas, CA. 91302-1921
One of John's best friends, David Phillips from L.A. Sound Design, is accepting all shipped packages in care of John, at his business address:
L.A. Sound Design, Inc.
2409 W. Magnolia Blvd.
Burbank, CA 91506
(818)-845 8663
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We're hoping that some of you can come down to the 'tator' this MONDAY NIGHT, MARCH 16th for a super jam/benefit for our friend JOHN ZIEGLER. For a $15.00 cover (all proceeds going to John), in addition to some GREAT live entertainment, the grill should be working over time out in the back (right next to the silver Coleman). Along with the HUBCAP CORRAL, look for DANNY and other very talented musicians to get up and perform. I've talked to the boys in STURGEON, and they're set to do a song or two, and I know that Jamie and Chris have been talking to their friends. So, there you have it: Music, drinks, grilled ingesta, specialty merch for sale (?), and enormous baked potatoes. And if I'm not mistaken, at midnight, it's St. Patrick's Day (but we won't let that stop us from tipping a few). We hope to see you there.
MONDAY NIGHT SUPER JAM & GRILL (with Grill Master M. Fox)
THE BAKED POTATO
3787 CAHUENGA BLVD., WEST
STUDIO CITY, CA. 91604
818-980-1615
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Birthday cheers to the H-BOMB. Party is tomorrow in Venice, Kalifornia (BLACK MATH HORSEMAN at the AIR CONDITIONED). Love from the ENTIRE TOOL FAMILY... and I want that painting back!!! (damn, watch out for saucers out there... all alone... with that bright light... they'll take the bike, too... and flip-flops... and use it as evidence of human progress... and then we'll all be in trouble...)
HEATHER'S ART .
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BLACK MATH HORSEMAN (featuring drummer SASHA POPOVIC) will be performing at AIR CONDITIONED (Club) in Venice, CA tomorrow night (Wednesday, March 11th). Not only is this band damn good, but I'm expecting quite a party as the Tool Family has two birthday girls in March. So if you're anywhere near the Pacific Ocean in southern California, join us at AIR CONDITIONED around 9:00 PM (band actually takes the stage at 9:30 sharp). Location is 625 Lincoln Blvd., Venice, CA 90291.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAT! (slightly belated), shown here in the days of the travelers...
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"THIS JUST IN," said John Holmes:
1st Night, April 4th:
The opener is "INTO THE PRESENCE", featuring Tim Alexander (Primus, Puscifer, A Perfect Circle, Fata Morgana, Laundry)
2nd Night, April 5th:
The opener is "SWEETHEAD", Featuring Troy Van Leeuwen (Queens of The Stone Age, A Perfect Circle)
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Some of you may have heard the terrible news about the fire at John Ziegler's house on Friday night. Although members of the fire department were able to save some of JZ's irreplaceable things (vintage guitars, albums, etc), I'm sorry to report that neither of his two dogs survived. In this very difficult time, John's friends have offered help - Danny especially, giving him a place to stay until he finds a new place. If any of you would also like to help, you can come down to the BAKED POTATO tonight (MARCH 9) and support the MONDAY NIGHT JAMMMZ. Hopefully there will also be a benefit at some point, featuring all of John's very talented musician friends. If this happens, I'll, of course, let you know. One thing I can tell you - no matter how tough things are now, the Texas transplant will bounce back. As always, but especially now, we hope to see you there. The BAKED POTATO is located at 3787 Cahuenga Blvd., West, Studio City, CA. 91604. 818-980-1615. Thank you.
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ATTENTION: PUSCIFER has added a second show at CLUB NOKIA in Los Angeles on APRIL 5th. WATCH . Tickets at ticketmaster . At Ease.
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After taking the metrolink to see Wagner's "Das Rheingold" last night (fantastic production), I chanced upon the Volto! rehearsal at the loft. If tonight's show is anything like the preparatory event, expect lots of new material along with the old favorites. And be sure to get there early to check out Kirk's band, along with a possible 'mystery' guest... besides Danny's father (yep, Big Bob is visiting from Paola). Volto! should take the main stage at THE KNITTING FACTORY (Hollywood) about 25 minutes or so after the Lakers' game. We hope it doesn't go into overtime, and we certainly hope to see you there.
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Maynard at Whole Foods Markets in the Lone Star State:
MARCH 23 - PLANO,TX - 2201 Preston Rd. 4:30 - 7:30 PM
MARCH 24 - AUSTIN, TX - 525 N. Lamar Blvd. 4:30 - 7:30 PM
MARCH 26 - SUGAR LAND, TX - 15900 SW Freeway. 4:30 - 7:30 PM
MARCH 27 - ALAMO QUARRY (SAN ANTONIO), TX - 255 E. Basse Rd. 4:30 - 7:30
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To those of you who sent e-mail of concern about the head-on crash of an orange Lamborghini in Studio City the other night, NO, Danny wasn't involved. The car in the accident was actually a new orange "Gallardo", not a "Murcielago" like Danny's. At the time of the crash (if at 10:30 PM on Monday night), Danny and a few of us were at a L.A. Clipper's game (where we each won 4 free trip-tickets on the Metrolink! I'm not kidding. Junior was there, and can vouch for this). And afterwards we, of course, went to listen to JZ's Monday Night Jammmz in Studio City. Anyway, this means that the "cruise through Hollywood in Danny's Lamborghini" that comes as an extra with the purchase of one of the limited edition of 1 of Josh Freese's forthcoming CD "Since 1976" can still happen. On a sadder note, I'm not sure about the condition of the driver of the 'other' orange Lambo, or of those in the other vehicle involved in the crash, but I sure hope it's not too serious. Again, for those with A.D.D., Danny was NOT involved in the accident, and is doing just fine with his 4 free Metrolink trip-tickets.
Don't worry, I didn't pay $75,000 for Josh's CD. Actually, I'm saving up to play miniature golf with Maynard. For the asking price of $20,000, hopefully this will be at "Hawaiian Rumble Miniature Golf" in Myrtle Beach. But then again, who wants to be dropped off on the freeway there... with all those pig farms and whatnot.
photo by Rynne
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The legendary LUSTMORD has released a limited edition of 1,000 copies of "THE DARK PLACES OF THE EARTH." The new CD contains 68 minutes of EXTENDED AMBIENT REMIXES from the album [OTHER], and is in a similar vein to the music he did for TOOL's "Vicarious" DVD menu. Order a copy HERE. For additional info, please visit www.lustmord.com or his myspace page.
Also worthy of note, dub remixes for "D IS FOR DUBBY" are available EXCLUSIVELY from the PUSCIFER download section.
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There are still some tickets available for FRIDAY's VOLTO! show at THE KNITTING FACTORY in HOLLYWOOD. With KIRK COVINGTON's band, CPT KIRK, opening, this promises to be memorable.
VOLTO!
DANNY CAREY
KIRK COVINGTON
LANCE MORRISON
JOHN ZIEGLER
(with special guest CPT KIRK)
FRIDAY, MARCH 6th
THE KNITTING FACTORY (MAIN STAGE)
7021 HOLLYWOOD BLVD, SUITE 209
HOLLYWOOD, CA. 90028 323-463-0204
Also of note, JOHN ZIEGLER's MONDAY NIGHT JAMMMZ at THE BAKED POTATO (Universal City)
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PUSCIFER LIVE at CLUB NOKIA in LOS ANGLES - APRIL 4TH, 2009
Tickets go on sale tomorrow (FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 27) at TicketMaster.
Photo by Isaac Brekken/Palms Casino Resort
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Here's some information about an art show that features, among many others, Tool video co-producers KEVIN WILLIS and ROBYN BREEN. Also showing some of his work will be "10,000 Days" photographer TRAVIS SHINN. Opening reception with live musical performances is FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 27 (7:00 PM - 11:00 PM). If you can't make that, the show runs until May 4th, 2009.
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Miniature golf with Maynard. A cruise through Hollywood in Danny's Lamborghini. Just a couple of the extras that come with certain limited edition copies of Josh's forthcoming CD/DVD (and digital download) entitled "SINCE 1972" (coming March 24th). Check the complete list HERE.
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Maynard with PUSCIFER live at THE PEARL in Las Vegas.
Photo courtesy of ISAAC BREKKEN of the Palms Casino Resort
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"The world has lost a great man, an incredible musician, and a true pioneer. Louis Bellson, the inventor and master of the double bass drum set, passed away on Valentine's day. His talent and warm heart will be missed world wide. I am proud to still be the owner of a pair of sticks he gave me when I was 14 years old. His playing and musicality inspired me so much I never wanted to play single kick again. What a hero!"
Danny Carey
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Aloke Dutta's rhythm and tabla books are now being offered as DOWNLOADABLE E-BOOKS (in pdf format). To take advantage of these digital productions and other great deals, please visit his WEBSITE. I also wanted to let you know that Aloke is currently enjoying a visit to India, where he's doing fine, and will return to L.A. in time for Vindaloo at Danny's. What's this I hear about sipping some Scotch?
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TOOL NEWSLETTER
JANUARY, 2009 e.v.
The first report came in on January 27th. Someone had sent it to a band member who, in turn, forwarded it to me. More reports soon followed, all of them being photographs and/or descriptions of sightings of "creatures" resembling centipedes, millipedes, and other multi-legged arthropods discovered after opening Tool's "Vicarious" DVD. Although I would normally feel obliged to do so, no entomologists (particularly those who specialized in Myriapoda) were consulted. There was no need to do so. The reason being is that in all of the later sightings, the "creature" found in the center appeared to be an ordinary caterpillar. This was the long-awaited SIGN. And although I don't make any claims to belonging to the true succession of prophets, the VISION should be carefully studied, as it will furnish valuable contributions towards the understanding of that which is to come. The vision wasn't received by the normal means of divination, including genethliaos, aeromancy, pyromancy, myomancy, orniscopy, shadows, writings in ashes, human entrails, cocks picking grains, salt, lead, dice, a suspended ring, melted wax, nails reflecting the moon's rays, or the color and peculiarities of wine. It came in the form of a dream, which I consider to be just as valid as if it were perceived in the polished depths of a black speculum. The vision concerns the wayleals (i.e. soldiers) and the Xaphanauts, who, although they do not YET exist, shall dwell in the 'hellish' interior regions due to various transgressions. Here, then, is the vision:
Wisdom is more moving than any motion, and knowing this, I slept, and behold a vision came to me. And I saw in the palace of mortifications a living thing, crawling among the faint rubigo and painted trifles, as illumined by the jagged haloes of the XAPHANAUTS. And as iridescence penetrates the striations of matter, its pupal-tomb was enswathed in an unusually metallic tegument, all the while irradiated by a treasure of celestial configurations. Though flattened among the dreary prospect, I imagined it wreathed in the wings of glory. In a golden tongue sublime, this recondite transformation spoke: Forewarn the WAYLEALS and their kaleidoscopically- changing leaders who endure not patiently, that even the blare of jeweled trumpets shall corrode with the approaching shadow of the gnomon. When the hour strikes, no title, rank, nor honor shall save those who navigate the oblique and complicated windings - both the righteous and elect, and those who machinate a thousand ills. Emblems of magistery shall wither; tokens achromatized with perpetual execration, for with the blood of the clepsydra, and purple trickle of hourglass, I saw embellished flesh stripped by ravenous birds; solid and perdurable avatars melting like a honeycomb before the variegated fire of magnicity. And then I perceived, unveiled, a most glorious habitation, its antiquated predecessor arrayed forth in all the phantasmagoria of imputed folly. But even there, polluted mouths shall not obtain mercy from the protective gloriole of those who will hereafter execute judgment upon them. Bound by chains, their misery ascends to the Demiurge, vitreous sapphire eyes blinded as worms feast on the effulgent spectrum. Here ends the vision.
No commentary on the vision is necessary and none shall be given, even to those who employ a steam engine to crack a nut. Time is a stumbling block to unbelievers, but there is little that I can do about that. Even so, in conclusion, I would like to share some words from Von Eschenbach to his critics: "This flying metaphor will be much too swift for dullards. They will not be able to think it through because it will run from them like a startled rabbit. Mirrors coated on the back with tin, and blind men's dreams, these catch only the surface of the face, and that dim light cannot steadfastly endure even though it may make fleeting joy real. Anyone who grabs the hair in the palm of my hand, where there isn't any, has indeed learned how to grab close. And if I cry Ouch!, it will only show what kind of mind I have. Shall I look for loyalty precisely where it vanishes, as fire in running water, dew in the sun?"
HAPPY TRAILS
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Either that or it's a good fake taken in front of a really big television set in his living room.
photo by Rynne
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After this weekend's PUSCIFER extravaganza at THE PEARL in Vegas, Maynard and his fellow Arizona vintner will be heading to California for another round of wine signings at WHOLE FOODS MARKETS. After that, Denver and Albuquerque...
Whole Foods Markets:
Feb. 17 4:30 - 7:30 pm Fresno, CA (650 W. Shaw Ave.)
Feb. 18 4:30 - 7:30 pm Petaluma, CA (621 E. Washington St.)
Feb. 19 4:30 - 7:30 pm Sacramento, CA (4315 Arden Way)
Feb. 26 & 27 4:30 - 7:30 pm Denver, CO (7400 E. Hampden Ave.)
Mar. 1 2:00 - 5:00 pm Albuquerque, NM (2103 Carlisle Blvd. NE)
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That April issue of GUITAR WORLD featuring ADAM and KIRK should be at newsstands, etc. by now.
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CHET's involved in another group art show: "MOVERS & SHAKERS" this SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 14th.
THE POVevolving GALLERY & PRINT STUDIO
939 CHUNG KING RD.
LOS ANGELES, CA. 90012
7-10 PM
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Volto! will be performing at THE KNITTING FACTORY in HOLLYWOOD on MARCH 6th. However, since it is a FRIDAY NIGHT, it might not be a bad idea to purchase tickets in advance. Also, there's a chance that this might be one of the last Volto shows for a while, as certain band members might be busy with other projects in the months ahead. The March 6th event should especially be of interest to fans of drumming, with the opening act, CAPTAIN KIRK, featuring one of Danny's all time favorite percussionists. I'm of course speaking of Volto's own Kirk Covington.
I would also like to remind folks in the Los Angeles area (where it freakin' HAILED a few minutes ago!!!) that John Ziegler is still going strong with his MONDAY NIGHT JAMMMZ at THE BAKED POTATO in Universal City (that's TONIGHT). And as I often mention, you never know who's going to show up at the 'tator' to join in with the performers. With this in mind, we hope to see you there.
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PIGMY LOVE CIRCUS frontman MIKE SAVAGE at the KeyClub last Wednesday night.
photo by Rynne
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Shot of the band at the KeyClub in Hollywood.
photo by Rynne Stump
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Rynne captures Peter Fletcher and Scott Reeder during the PIGMY LOVE CIRCUS show at the KeyClub last Wednesday.
photo by Rynne Stump
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SASHA POPOVIC and BLACK MATH HORSEMAN will be performing tonight at THE KNITTING FACTORY in Hollywood (7021 Hollywood Blvd. Los Angeles, CA. 90028). The band takes the stage at 7:30 sharp and a mere $10 gets you in... and out of the rain.
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A friendly reminder about the PIGMY LOVE CIRCUS show at the KEY CLUB on WEDNESDAY NIGHT (FEB 4). In this time of economic woes, it's probably better to purchase tickets from the venue box office as opposed to TicketMaster. With the debut of Chris Pitman's "SEXTAPES", along with "STURGEON", and "HECTOR'S REVENGE", it should be a great show. We certainly hope you can make it.
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Coming to a news stand near you...
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Did anyone hear the latest rumor about ADAM JONES being featured in the next issue of GUITAR WORLD magazine? That he's on the cover? That's what some dude asked me today while I was out and about in North Hollywood looking for a decent burrito. I told him that I'd have to go home and check out the ToolArmy site. Surely THEY'D know. Well, after doing a bit of checking (elsewhere), here's what I was able to find out... Led Zeppelin's featured in the issue that's currently on the stands, and according to the "Guitar World" website, "Miley Cyrus claims to be an Iron Maiden fan." Pretty hard to believe in this day and age of sexual liberation, besides which, I'm not sure what that has to do with music? So now I'll have to make some phone calls to see if this is legit (also checking into the Adam "Guitar World" rumor), after which I'll get back to you.
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BRIEFING
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Danny and Brann after paying their dues at the NAMM convention on Saturday. If there are any visiting musicians still in town, John's got the NAMM JAMS going on at THE BAKED POTATO tonight.
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A photo from the Sonor Danny Carey signature snare shoot back in September. Don't try this at home unless you've got one of these built into your driveway. Don't worry, that's only pomegranate juice in those chalices. Still, with what was in the kapala and such, we were only one Word of Power from causing... something to happen.
photo by LaraLee
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Familiar to those who were part of the Kansas City club scene in the mid-1980s was a band called IBIZABAR* that featured Kent Brisley, Chris Pitman, and a talented young drummer from Paola named Danny Carey. As the fates would have it, over 20 years later, on FEBRUARY 4th, the three musicians (and very close friends) will be knocking back drinks, commiserating over the Queefs' 2-12 record, and performing at the same venue in Hollywood. DANNY with the notorious Los Angeles based PIGMY LOVE CIRCUS, Chris (LUSK, GUNS N ROSES, ZAUM) with SEXTAPES (making their world debut), and Kent with STURGEON. Also on the bill is HECTOR'S REVENGE, a band from San Diego that I think many Tool fans will appreciate. As the on-line flyer indicates, the first 50 people through the door will receive a FREE COPY of STURGEON's debut album "THE DARKER SEQUENCE." Having had some personal involvement with this CD (which was recorded in part at Danny's private studio), being a beer-swilling "throwing my two cents in" on some of the musical arrangements, the provider of the Mellotron, coaxer of those sluggish Moog Taurus pedals, and even suggesting an alternate lyric or two, you know I want a free copy of this CD!
* Yes, "Ibiza Bar" is the name of an early Pink Floyd song.
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Birthday greetings to our friend Sasha Popovic (yes, of "Skullet" fame) who is shown here with Mandala drum inventor Vince DeFranco. Looks like they might be brain-storming! Anyway, at least one of these two shouldn't be hard to recognize at the NAMM convention, possibly even while checking out the unveiling of the Sonor Danny Carey signature snare which Danny unveiled at last night's Volto! show. CHEERS from Kat and all your friends and family.
photo by Kat
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Birthday cheers to Adam who today turns... well, I actually don't know, but however many candles he blows out, they probably could have been extinguished quicker with a Lustmord 'helicopter' cake (see below). At any rate, many Tool enthusiasts will be excited to know that AJ is guest performing on the first track of the new ISIS album, engineered by "Evil" Joe Barresi and scheduled to be released in April. Adam, if you're in the neighborhood, I've got some crushed ice and a glass of absinthe imported from Austria that's got your name on it. I've also got cherry Coke if you'd prefer.
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As I mentioned in the December newsletter, with the NAMM Convention in Anaheim, California about to get underway, a lot of visiting musicians might be interested in checking out some of the bands frequently mentioned on this site. Here's a list of a few that will be performing around the time of the music products fest. And speaking of that, among the new products rumored to be unveiled, is a certain signature something from the Sonor folks.
Tomorrow night (MONDAY, JANUARY 12), JOHN ZIEGLER will be presenting a NAMM JAMM at the BAKED POTATO in Universal City. Although you never know who's going to join in (musicianss are encouraged to bring an instrument and take the stage during the second set), keyboardist Billy Steinway will more than likely be participating in event.
On TUESDAY (JANUARY 13), the "European Touring Edition" of the SCOTT KINSEY GROUP (featuring Scott of keyboards, SCOTT HENDERSON on guitar, MATTHEW GARRISON on bass, and KIRK COVINGTON on drums) will be playing the 'tator' (THE BAKED POTATO: 3787 Cahuenga BLVD, WEST, UNIVERSAL CITY, CA. 91684). Though hard to describe, you won't want to miss these "musician's musicians"). SHOW TIME 9:30. $20.00 COVER.
Next it's VOLTO! (DANNY CAREY, KIRK COVINGTON, LANCE MORRISON, and JZ), again at THE BAKED POTATO JAZZ CLUB (the premiere jazz club in L.A.) on THURSDAY, JANUARY 15. It looks like a possible additional Volto! show at the HOB in Anaheim is a NO GO, but perhaps on another date. Advance tickets for Volto! are advised, but with two shows, there are sometimes tickets available at the door.
And finally, it's another round of MONDAY NIGHT JAMMMZ at the 'tator' on JANUARY 19th. As always, we hope to see you there.
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I've seen my fair share of birthday cakes, but perhaps none quite as impressive as the one made for LUSTMORD's 50th. Decorated as a battlefield with lots of camouflaged artillery, once the birthday candles were lit, it was up to the legendary one to operate a model attack helicopter. After getting it to lift off, its specific tactical mission was to circle the candles, whereby the wind created by its rotor blades blew each one out (something Lustmord, at fifty, probably couldn't do). I'm happy to report that the mission was a complete success, despite the fact that there were some questionable characters hanging around the LZ. If you give me a minute, I'll post another shot of the cake (with questionable characters) in the "Photo album" section of the ToolArmy site.
photo by LaraLee
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Get there early...
(NOTE: If you look closely, you'll see that that's a zero in the phone number, not an 8, making it 818-980-1615.)
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A nice shot taken by Camella at the rink tonight. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZIPPY from Danny, your friends and family... and the entire Tool Nation. CHEERS!
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The featured artists.
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TOOL NEWSLETTER,
DECEMBER, 2008 e.v.
Recently I received a rather lengthy e-mail from President-elect Barack Obama, and although I won't post it here in its entirety, the gist of it concerned a matter that he personally felt needed urgent attention. With the "turning of the page", meaning the coming new year, the new administration, and the new positive attitude sweeping the nation, one of the things high on his list of priorities as part of "the changes America needs" is to engage in serious dialogue in 2009 with Tool's content manager, or "a high level administrator of the Tool websites" to see about changing the format of the newsletters so that they would include more news about the band itself as opposed to the various subjects of interest to the four members and/or their close circle of friends. Now, as you might well imagine, with all that's going on in the world today, I was a bit flummoxed as to his concerns about the website, not to mention how Barack obtained my personal e-mail address in the first place! And although I could have responded that these are tough decisions, and that I'd have to think about it - being that I am the decider around here, to be perfectly honest, in that we are indeed "turning a page", I have to admit that I whole heartedly agree with Obama. Perhaps to highlight the gravity of the situation, the e-mail he sent ended with "we have a lot of work to do" in bold-faced type, to which I sent my immediate reply stating that I would be more than happy to comply with his request, offering then a warning about any possible "Hochstetters" out there.
TOOL
Although I really don't have any specific information at this point (just snatches of conversation heard now and then), if the past is any indication of how things work in the Tool World, this is about the time when members of the band start getting really serious about composing new music that they will eventually (hopefully) record. As for any TOOL tour plans in 2009, despite all the rumors on the internet and elsewhere, as far as I know nothing has been decided yet. With this said, certainly anything's possible come the spring, summer and fall (winter, too). Although you are free to speculate all you want, I would ask that you please do not read more into this than I've just stated. To repeat: in the past it was shortly after the holiday season that the band members began writing in earnest for a new record, and, as far as I know, nothing has been decided as of yet with regards to any possible Tool tour in 2009...
TOOL WEBSITE NEWS?
One thing that has been discussed for quite some time is to give a bit of a face-lift to the Tool websites (Danny's site as well). This is something that I certainly hope happens in 2009, and the sooner the better, but for now we'll just have to wait and see what transpires over the next month or so...
MEMBERS OF TOOL
Possibly at least one member of TOOL will be guest performing on the new ISIS album (recorded by "Evil" JOE BARESI). More details later...
PUSCIFER
Everyone knows that MAYNARD's band PUSCIFER added a third show at THE PEARL in Las Vegas on SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 15th, right?..
VOLTO!
DANNY, John, Kirk, and Lance will be performing at THE BAKED POTATO on THURSDAY, JANUARY 15, and possibly also doing a show in ANAHEIM during the NAMM CONVENTION. There also should be one helluva MONDAY NIGHT NAMM JAMM (both on the 12th and 19th) with all those out of town musicians visiting the L.A. area.
ADAM JONES AND THE QUISP ENIGMA
While at Danny's house the other day, I couldn't help notice a box of "Quisp" cereal on a table full of recently opened Xmas gifts (to be listed in a future newsletter). As it turned out, ADAM had given this to Dan, having purchased it on a recent visit to the east coast. Seeing how the box was in such good condition, I picked it up to check out the date, and was surprised to see that it was 2006. Evidently the Quaker Oats people are still making the saucer-shaped crunchy corn cereal with the 'quazy' pink alien on the cover in a limited distribution. Now, as strange as this seemed to me, what was really strange is that Adam knew that Danny liked Quisp. Some readers might remember my post from December 11, 2007 with the accompanying photo of a broken "drum contraption" in which I mentioned that I believed that Danny's power came from his eating an entire box of Quisp everyday while growing up in Kansas. Well, evidently Adam read this, even if Barack didn't. Anyway, for some reason (prior to the 2007 post), I always thought Danny preferred "Quake" even though Quisp did have the better prizes inside...
TOOL IN DARKLORE VOLUME 2
In case some of you missed it, TOOL is featured in the anthology "DarkLore Volume 2" that was recently issued by the Daily Grail Publishing. In his piece entitled "OCCULT ROCK", author/editor Greg Taylor writes about Tool's interest in the occult, shedding light on such things as Dr. John Dee's Enochian "Sigillum Dei Ameth", the "Salival" cover art, "Lateralus" lyrics/Fibonacci Sequence, talismanic boards, parasemiotic symbols, the idiotheosis of "Faaip de Oiad", Danny's Jeff Ocheltree/Paiste bronze drumkit, the cryptic insert in the packaging of the import of "Aenima", the "Flaming Eye" motif, Blue Apple symbology in the "Parabola" video and much more... To order a hardcover or soft cover copy, go to www.amazon.com and type in "Darklore Vol 2."
photo by BMB
HAPPY TRAILS
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I've added 10 nice shots to the PHOTO ALBUM section (see "Lightside"), like this one taken by Camella of the boys celebrating the Lakers victory over the Celtics on Xmas. More to come.
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Guitarist John Ziegler has the JAMMMZ going tonight at the 'Tator.' I'm not sure about any special guests tonight (there's always someone of note, though), but last Monday DANNY filled in for Bernie as the band performed an extra lengthy version of Led Zeppelin's "NO QUARTER." "Dragonfly" by Mahogany Rush as well, with some truly magnificent guitar playing by John, Jamie "Zappa Plays Zappa" Kime, and, of course, Chris Roy on bass.
Making their debut at the Baked Potato tomorrow night (DECEMBER 30) will be CAPTAIN KIRK, featuring VOLTO!'s KIRK COVINGTON on drums. Lots of experimental stuff here for fans of analog synths, with Scott Tibbs on keyboards. $10 at the door.
THE BAKED POTATO
3787 CAHURNGA BLVD., WEST
STUDIO CITY, CA. 91604 (818-980-1615)
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* (including those who will only be there on the astral plane tonight....)
TEMPLE OF VISIONS INTERNATIONAL VISIONARY ART & PRINT EXHIBITION
Featuring works by Alex & Allyson Grey, James Zar, Adam Scott Miller and many more...
The Hive Gallery
729 South Spring St
Los Angeles, CA 90014
Saturday, January 3rd
8:30pm-12:30 pm
$8 entrance
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Just a friendly reminder that there are still about 10 days left for tabla master ALOKE DUTTA's 50% OFF sale on products at www.alokedutta.com .
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DANNY CAREY will be filling in for Bernie at the MONDAY NIGHT JAMMMZ extravaganza happening at THE BAKED POTATO on DECEMBER 22. Location is 3787 Cahuenga Blvd., West, Studio City, CA. 91604. We hope to see you there.
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ARTICLE
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Goddamn I was wrong. The restaurant that we're going to for the holiday festivities isn't Mexican. It's Italian... and pretty fancy by the looks of things. It's totally up to "MERCH", but I'm GUESSING he won't get those signed SALIVAL DVDs into the Shopping Bazaar until sometime after 3:00 PM (PST). In case you weren't aware, "MERCH" loves Italian, and will probably take the budget right down to the last penny.
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A new hardcover book from ALEX GREY and CoSM PRESS (featuring over 150 new reproductions of drawings, paintings, and sacred geometry) is now available, along with additional information about the collection, at his website: www.alexgrey.com.
Get a SIGNED COPY HERE for $25.00.
Also, please note that Alex will read "ART PSALMS" at THE CHAPEL OF SACRED MIRRORS on MONDAY, DECEMBER 22nd, where SIGNED COPIES can also be purchased.
BMB
ARIZONA STRONGHOLD VINEYARDS ANNOUNCE NORTHERN CALIFORNIA BOTTLE SIGNINGS AT WHOLE FOODS MARKET LOCATIONS FOR JANUARY AND FEBRUARY
"Vineyard owners Maynard James Keenan and Eric Glomski extend successful run of signings to Northern California and Tucson Arizona Stronghold Vineyard vintners Maynard James Keenan (Caduceus Cellars/Merkin Vineyards owner and front man for Tool and Puscifer) and Eric Glomski (Page Springs Cellars) will host, in conjunction with Whole Foods Market, a series of Northern California/Arizona bottle signings beginning Jan. 2 in San Francisco, Calif. The announcement comes on the heels of completing over a dozen highly successful bottle signings over the latter half of 2008 at Whole Foods locations in Southern California, Las Vegas and Arizona. Glomski and Keenan are currently featured on Gary Vaynerchuk's Wine Library TV, which is now available for viewing at tv.winelibrary.com.
Dates and locations for the signings are:
JANUARY 2 4:30 - 7:30 pm San Francisco, CA (450 Rhode Island St.)
3 2 - 5 pm Oakland, CA (230 Bay Pl.)
4 2 - 5 pm Cupertino, CA (20955 Stevens Creek Blvd.)
6 4:30 - 7:30 pm Tucson, AZ (3360 E. Speedway Blvd.)
FEBRUARY 17 4:30 - 7:30 pm Fresno, CA (650 W. Shaw Ave.)
18 4:30 - 7:30 pm Petaluma, CA (621 E. Washington St.)
19 4:30 - 7:30 pm Sacramento, CA (4315 Arden Way)
About Arizona Stronghold Vineyards:
ASV lies at the eastern edge of Sulfur Springs Valley, in Cochise County (alongside the Wilcox Playa) in a small, unincorporated area known as the Kansas Settlement. The vineyard site is 80 acres with 66 acres currently under vine. Co-owned by Eric Glomski (Page Springs Cellars) and Maynard James Keenan (Caduceus Cellars/Merkin Vineyards), ASV's mission is to present affordable top quality Arizona wine made by passionate Arizona based winemakers. Keenan says of the vineyard, "One of our many goals here in Arizona is to establish a cornerstone around which locally owned and operated, sustainable and organic industries can thrive."
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Some time ago, during the band's moving from one storage space warehouse into another larger facility, a couple of workers entered a dark room that was cluttered with various video and stage props from the "Aenima" period. While attempting to remove a dozen or so dusty boxes, one of the workers noticed something all but buried under some miscellaneous video paraphernalia. Abruptly he stopped what he was doing and shined his flashlight inside one of the boxes in order to see what it contained (why the lights in that part of the building were off is anyone's guess - perhaps there was a power outage at the time). "Can you see anything?" one of the workers inquired. Whether trembling with expectation and curiosity I don't know, but shakily he replied "Yes, wonderful things." As it turned out, what the worker had just discovered were several unopened boxes containing TOOL SALIVAL DVDs (BOX SET) that had evidently been misplaced by the previous merch department. From the looks of things, they had been 'buried' under the other stuff for many years. Immediately a phone call was put in to MERCH, but as it was around noon, he wasn't awake yet. A couple of hours later, he was phoned again and apprised of the situation. His first thought was - this must not leak out on the Tool website (which of course I did in a rather cryptic fashion, employing a VALIS L.A. anagram if I remember correctly). After the DVDs were carefully removed and transported to the new storage space warehouse, they were placed on a shelf where they remained undisturbed for another year or so. At some point it was decided that the band members should sign the DVDs and make them available in the Shopping Bazaar on the ToolArmy website. This they did a few months later. However, unlike the earlier ones, this time each DVD was individually SIGNED BY ALL FOUR BAND MEMBERS (with Adam also providing some original art 'doodles' on many of the cases). Once signed (a lengthy process in itself), they were moved to another shelf were they were untouched for several more months (with a couple of them given away to friends). And then a few days ago (Monday, to be precise), I suggested to a band member that these should be sold on the TA site during the holiday season. After cutting through some red tape with their management, it was finally agreed to put 33 copies in the Shopping Bazaar. I'm hopeful this will happen, so consider this a heads up. Now, as the fates would have it, on Friday (DECEMBER 19), the business management girls, "MERCH" and I are scheduled to have our annual holiday lunch (Mexican this year, and hopefully the budget includes enough for a few Grande margaritas). So, I'm thinking that either before or after this fiesta, the 33 copies will go up. In the meantime, I will post further details as to the price, shipping speeds, etc., hopefully along with a photo. And "no", this is not "the big thing."
BMB
REMINDER: Maynard and Eric will be signing bottles of wine at the WHOLE FOODS in SCOTSDALE, AZ today (4:30 - 7:30 PM). Address is 8688 E. Raintree Dr. From all reports, the line will be... long.
BMB
Today only (DECEMBER 15, 2008), many items on COLLIDE'S NOISEPLUSMUSIC website can be purchased for $10.00. Once there, also check out the "Odds n Ends" section for deals.
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Besides making some very strange drinks tonight (and tomorrow night) with BUZZ, ADAM will be offering for SALE some of his ORIGINAL PAINTINGS (just a few pieces, I believe) both at GRUMPY'S and afterwards at THE MELVINS SHOW. Here's a sample.
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Artwork by CHET ZAR'S FATHER (JAMES ZAR) is featured in a book entitled "Metamorphosis Volume 2- 50 Surreal and Fantastic Artists" (As many of you know, Chet was in "Metamorphosis 1"). Here's a LINK . Definitely worth checking out.
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Here's a flyer that was sent by 'eric52' pertaining to those guitarists/mixologists. Much appreciated Sir! I've also received several messages from people who've heard something about Adam possibly selling some "random paintings" (his?). As I've replied to the first three or so e-mailers, I've haven't heard a darn thing about any paintings. Perhaps I should check his Myspace page to see if there's anything to this one. Better yet, I could call him during the Lakers' game... and not at halftime.
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"Seasons greetings, winos.
Just a quick holiday note on what's going on with us. We recently had Gary Vaynerchuk out at the winery for a combination bottle/barrel tasting. It's a 2 part interview at tv.winelibrary.com here are the links:
PART ONE
http://tv.winelibrary.com
PART TWO
http://tv.winelibrary.com
And for those of you who I didn't send this to, here's a book's worth of press that appeared in the Phoenix New Times. Clearly we greased them. They gave us big props.
http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com
Enjoy. Looking forward to letting you all taste this juice.
Wish you all a warm and wonderful holiday."
Peace and Vino,
M J Keenan
Winemaker in Training
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Guitarists-mixologists ADAM and BUZZ (Melvins) will be bartending at GRUMPY'S in downtown MINNEAPOLIS for TWO NIGHTS: SATURDAY, DEC 13, and SUNDAY, DEC 14. Additional info to be had HERE. Seeing how they're also CREATING some of these distillations, from personal experience, you're in for a real treat...
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Tired of being shot at while Xmas shopping in the malls? Have you seen the NEW!!!!! "Hunter's Orange" track-tennis suits in the Puscifer STORE ? Great if you're planning on jay-walking as well!
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I guess this explains why when I called Aaron Harris this morning, he answered from a London pub.
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PUSCIFER'S FIRST LIVE SHOW will be at THE PEARL (in THE PALMS CASINO) in LAS VEGAS, NEVADA on FEBRUARY 13 - 14, 2009.
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Paintings by our friend RAMIRO RODRIGUEZ will be featured at an ART AND PHOTOGRAPHY SHOW in Milwaukee on FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5th.
LOCATION: LATINO ARTS, INC, AUDITORIUM & GALLERY: 1028 S. 9th STREET, MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN, 53204
TIME 5:00 PM
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Dec. 2 - 5 - 9 pm - Los Angeles (6350 W. 3rd St)
Dec. 3 - 4:30 - 7:30 pm - San Diego (University Drive)
MAYNARD ON AIR from 3 - 3:45 pm on 94.9 as well
Dec. 6 - 2 - 5 pm - El Segundo (760 S. Sepulveda Blvd.)
Dec. 9 - 4:30 - 7:30 pm - Las Vegas (6689 Las Vegas Blvd. S.)
Dec. 10 - 4:30 to 7:30 pm - Chandler, AZ (2955 W. Ray Rd)
Dec. 11 - 4:30 to 7:30 pm - Phoenix (7111 E. Mayo)
Dec. 15 - 4:30 - 7:30 pm - Scottsdale, AZ (8688 E. Raintree Dr.)
Jan. 6 - 4:30 to 7:30 pm - TUCSON (3360 E. Speedway Blvd)
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Danny and the boys will be performing at the 'tator' Friday night, December 5th.
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TOOL NEWSLETTER
NOVEMBER, 2008 e.v. THANKSGIVING
Something to be thankful for: Danny wasn't there... or Adam for that matter. Camella and Rynne recently returned from their Great White Shark adventure off the coast of Guadalupe Island. After a (nauseating?) 22 hour boat ride from the Baja peninsula, the two climbed inside that 'protective' cage and, once lowered to the proper depth, got some great photos and footage of the creatures.
photo by Camella Grace
HAPPY TRAILS
BMB
"A weightless Language: Entheogens and the Origins of Art"
CoSM BENEFIT PARTY in MIAMI, FL. DURING ART BASEL
featuring ALEX and ALLYSON GREY
DECEMBER 4, 2008 - 7:00 PM
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After the Clippers damn near beat the San Antonio Spurs last week, Danny, Rynne, Aloke, Willis and I watched the purple balls fly as... well... congratulations to that SilverLake Cha Cha Lounge sponsored team who recently won the Los Angeles Dodgeball Championship at Staples Center. They call themselves The Fun Active Gentlemen Society... or F.A.G.S., and over the course of a grueling season they beat out the "Punkasses", "Macho Geeks" and "Good Sportsmen" for the number one position (damn!). The Cha Cha is proud to display the Los Angeles Dodgeball Tournament First Place Position that has gone to The Fun Active Gentlemen Society. Pabst's Blue Ribbon for all involved afterwards! And "yes", the "Good Sportsmen" took it well.
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Seeing how Danny played on FIVE SONGS on their new CD "Two Headed Monster", our friends "COLLIDE" have made a special 20% off coupon for tool fans. Here's the deal: From now until DECEMBER 10, 2008, place an order and use the code "tool" to get an additional 20% off of anything you order on the Noiseplus SITE . This includes all Saints & Sinners items and all COLLIDE items. Instructions: As you make your purchase on the payment information page, you will see "enter redeem code." Simply enter the code and then hit redeem to calculate. A message will come up that will show you on the order how much you saved before you finalize your order.
Saints & SINNERS
BMB
Due to the large turnout in La Jolla back on the 7th, in order to accommodate those who didn't get in, an additional wine signing with Maynard and Eric has been added on DECEMBER 3 in SAN DIEGO at the Whole Foods store on University Ave. The Arizona vinters will be there from 4:30 - 7:30 PM.
BMB
TING-TING-TING... How about we all stop what we're doing for a minute (except for Al Davis' psychiatrist and the folks on the space shuttle using a SHAMWOW to mop up that Vodka and Tang from the flex hose rotary coupler [again] and the dicto-roboter IV... and raise our glass in a birthday toast to JUSTIN! I'll be damned if I know where he is (Big Sur?), or what he's doing, but I'll wager he's having a splendid time. But come morning, after a hearty bowl of dragonfly eyes and grasshopper thighs (milk optional), it's back to assembling riffs... or mayby just a pleasant game of coaster dodge... coaster at Abuelitas. CHEERS AND BIG LOVE from Shelee, your family and friends, and, of course, the better part of the awake Tool Nation. You'll be happy to know that I got you a signed copy of Darklore 2 (it was either that or an Ibanez doubleneck bass/guitar, but a coin flip should always be honored!). BTW, Vince tells me that one of the passengers on that space-truck uses a Mandala drum, although I'm not sure if he's playing "Happy Birthday To You" right now. At any rate, CHEERS JUSTIN!
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The anthology DARKLORE VOLUME 2 is now available at AMAZON.COM (both U.S. and U.K.) in a limited edition HARDCOVER (333 copies this time, due to the high demand of the Darklore Volume 1 HC), and a less expensive soft cover version. Like its predecessor, Darklore Volume 2 is a unique collection of unsolved riddles and enduring historical enigmas written by some of the better researchers of these 'tough nuts to crack' out there. In addition to chapters that include the paranormal, esoteric, and a pinch of Fortean phenomena, my fellow mysteryologist, Greg Taylor, has written a section about "the occult underpinnings of modern rock music" that includes a suggestive inquiry of that profound Arcanum: TOOL (with some insider stuff that I might have slipped to him). Not to be on the outside looking in, I have contributed a chapter that explores the neurochemical basis of magick and the paranormal entitled "DMT AND MAGICK." And there's plenty more of the strange and unusual to keep you wondering. To order a copy of this treasure house of the unexplained, click on the following links:
HARDCOVER(U.S.)
HARDCOVER(U.K.)
SOFT COVER(U.S.)
SOFT COVER(U.K.)
More info at www.dailygrail.com
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Congratulations to voluntary subscriber Deborah Eagle on winning the autographed limited edition original artwork ("Sieben") by MJK on the dailygrail website. I know Greg and the rest of the staff appreciate everyone's support.
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Birthday greetings to Aaron Harris today, and soon to Aaron Turner and Mike Gallagher of ISIS (yep, several Scorpios in that band) who are currently in the studio recording a new album with 'evil' JOE BARRESI at the helm. I wonder if Joe's got that loop of Santanico Pandemonium's (Salma Hayek) erotic table dance going from dusk till dawn like he did during the tracking of Tool's "10,000 DAYS?"
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The tabla master is offering big discounts on his CDs, T-shirt and DVD at www.alokedutta.com . CDs for only $5.00 each (regular price $10-$15), T-shirts for $5.00 each (regular price $10), and Instructional DVDs for $20.00 each (regular price $40.00). Please note that this offer is only good through December 31, 2008 (while supplies last).
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Birthday greetings to LaraLee who is lying on the couch a few feet away with her ankle broken in three places as I work diligently on a new... hang on, I need to go get her the ice pack...
love,
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As I mentioned earlier, MAYNARD and ERIC will be at the LA JOLLA WHOLE FOODS tonight (NOVEMBER 7), signing bottles of their labor of love from 5:00 - 9:00 PM. The address is 8825 Villa La Jolla Dr. at Nobel.
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Danny and Tim Mahoney (311) at a recent birthday party for LEVI (yes, Rynne's dog). Oddly enough, when Tim's lady friend randomly grabbed a dog tag for him (Tim, not Levi) to wear (out of a large bin), when checking out the name on the tag as I looked on, Tim and I were both amused to see that it was... Crowley! I'll be putting up a few more photos in the ToolArmy "Photo Albums" section, including one of ISIS drummer Aaron Harris. At the party, Aaron told me that ISIS is going into the studio this week to record a new album with "10,000 DAYS" engineer "EVIL" JOE BARRESI. Actually Aaron had already mentioned that to me at last week's 3RD ANNUAL HOLLYWOOD TRUE CRIME TOUR with Adam & Camella (still waiting for pics), but that's okay, I might have forgotten about it.
photo by Rynne
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When ever I post a blurb for JOHN ZIEGLER'S MONDAY NIGHT JAMMMZ at the BAKED POTATO, I tell musicians to bring their own guitars or other instruments so that they can join in on the fun. Well, for tonight's show, the two GUITARS that I'd like someone to BRING would be a DON GROSH CUSTOM (blue/slightlysea-green Retro Classic - SERIAL # 419) and a TOM ANDERSON CUSTOM (orange/translucent amber - SERIAL # 04-17-97A). BRING THEM BOTH DOWN AND COLLECT SOME MONEY and maybe even something else... Normally I wouldn't post something like this on the site, but the owner of the STOLEN GUITARS is a good friend of JZ's, and Erik has offered the reward in hopes of getting the instruments back. For anyone out there who is looking to make some extra scratch, check out the info and photo provided by Erik, and maybe check out some music shops or pawn shops, etc in the L.A./Orange County area, or even elsewhere (e-Bay, Craig's List etc.). It would be nice to get these guitars returned to their owner... before I lend Erik some of my grimoires, with their specific ways of dealing with such things. Thank you.
MESSAGE FROM ERIK: "My two guitars, a Don Grosh Custom and a Tom Anderson Custom were taken from me in the Los Angeles area sometime during the second week of October. They were inside of a black nylon Levy double gig bag. Don Grosh Custom: Serial #419 is a blue (although slightly sea-green after sun exposure) Retro Classic with a quilted maple top and an unfinished birds eye maple neck. Pickups are Lindy Fralin blues specials with a Fralin Unbucker in the bridge - 5 way switch. Gold hardware. New stainless steel frets. Tom Anderson Custom: Serial 04-17-97A is an orange (translucent amber) semi-hollow body with a quilted maple top and rosewood fretboard. Pickups are two Fralin Vintage Hots with a Rob Timmons Arcane humbucker in the bridge. Guitar was converted from a switcheroo setup and has a 5 way switch. 2 good sized chips in the headstock of the guitar. Both instruments are very dear to me and are the only two guitars I use. Would appreciate anyone you can spread this information to, any music stores, guitar shops, friends, etc - anything that might help me recover these instruments. I am offering a $500 reward for each instrument."
Please email guitars@erikmadsen.com or call 310-439-2028 if you know of their whereabouts.
BMB
photo by BMB
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TOOL NEWSLETTER
SAMHAIN - HALLOWEEN, 2008 e.v.
Here I am busier than a long-tailed cat covering crap on a marble floor in a room full of freemasons in rocking chairs, (hell, even busier than a pair of jumper cables at an Alabama church picnic!), and there's all this e-mail about GHWT. Okay, there are a few about other subjects, such as: "Was Maynard in Guanajuato, Mexico in a cosmic envelope last week?"... "Was Crowley an Indigo Child?"... "Was Maynard the Golden Cowboy at El Festival Cervantino?", but mostly Guitar Hero World Tour this, Guitar Hero World Tour that. All I want to do is watch "Reign of the Gargoyles" again on the sci-fi channel - shit, I wish I had thought of that: Nazis re-animating stone gargoyles during WWII to attack squadrons of B-17 bombers (I knew the Krauts had anti-gravitic flugelrads... but the speedy zigzags of hordes of gargoyles dodging the spray of those .50 caribers!), but now I've got all this e-mail to delete... And I'm just about to zap another nasty one when comes news from Activision of "sensitivity issues" with some of the GHWT drum kit controllers. So it begins... those mysterious glitches. I was afraid something like this might happen, knowing certain things, but let me put another cube of ice in my glass of gin... and stir it up a bit... before telling you what I think might be causing this...
Although I personally have no interest in playing GHWT (preferring, instead, to stick to my Korg and Kurzweils), Saturday night (October 25) I nevertheless decided to go with Danny to the private launch party at Best Buy in West Hollywood. And being that it was West Hollywood, as we inched down La Brea in the rumbling orange Murcielago, at red lights, in the crosswalks of nearly every intersection were boisterous mobs dressed up in their Halloween finery. Looking around at the threads, it appeared that his year's more popular adult costumes were the same as last year's exercise in banality, including the predictable 'Girl-That-Went-Missing-In-Aruba', 'Evil Jester with a Broccoli Popsicle', 'Jesus Pez Dispenser', and "Vixen Pirate Wench on a Sparkling Wheel-less Bicycle.' Being that it's an election year, it was no surprise to see the 'Lyndon LaRouche Saying Farwell to Martian Colonists in the Shimmering Crystal City of New Schwabenland' ensemble. It was also no surprise to see, among the dark joviality, some protesters (or counter-protestors) who were probably protesting a noosed Palin effigy, but in West Hollywood there are protesters of everything, including endangered animal crackers. As we neared the Best Buy, finally there was a unique costume: 'Professional Window Display Designer.' And, alas, Eric Cartman! Which brings to mind a thought: Am I the only one who thought that, rather than fight, Cartman should have put a hit on Wendy Testaburger, and be done with her once and for all. I mean, what ever happened to cutting-edge comedy?
With our passes and wristbands secured, outside Best Buy, we (reluctantly) walked the "red carpet", which for some reason was actually black. This would be the kind of thing that would make Danny a tad uncomfortable, but because we were several hours late, and most of those invited to the festivities were now at a nearby sound stage where "Smashing Pumpkins" were performing, it hardly mattered... Still, I had visions of a large Venerian dragon speaking with a cockney lisp over the voder, and of Snarks that were boojums in black Homburgs, and I'm not talking about Halloween costumes here...
Electing to walk to the studio lot rather than be chauffeured in a Prius hybrid (because it was so close - not because it was a Prius), we entered what can only be described as GHWT bliss. Once inside the sound stage, it wasn't hard to see the reason for all the hoopla... all the fuss and feathers. What's that? Cho!!! Chicken gumbo! Our first stop was at a complimentary buffet featuring Cajun cuisine in silver chafing dishes heated by sterno fah-yuh: Gumbo, pasta, Louisiana sausage, pistolets, spicy popcorn shrimp, and crab cakes. The inheritance of the saints in light! Everything except fried frogs legs, chee wee, and big black grasshoppers, and I ought to put a 'conja' on them for that (you shake some cayenne pepper on them frog legs!) Better than a Boucherie (even at carnaval), and enough to make rapid gastric emptying almost seem like a good thing!
But what was that woman in the polka-dot dress doing there among the partygoers? (Just a Halloween costume, I suppose). I honestly don't know why some Tool enthusiasts, including their most fanatical fans, seem to be so vehemently opposed to the band's participation in the game when, instead, they should be rocking in the irised spotlight!
Although we had to wind our way through some demo kiosks where players selected their tattoos from the "Create-a-Rocker" mode while others chose their pickguard finish, next stop was the open bar, with its GHWT-themed drinks. Unable to understand any of these, I opted for a margarita... and then another. It's not like its "Rock Band." It's not like the game is going to prevent some musically inclined individual from picking up a real instrument... one more of those without salt, please... Yes, I've heard all the arguments, but, c'mon, folks! Are video sports games to be blamed for no one having beaten 'Cy' Young's 511 career wins, or breaking Joltin' Joe DiMaggio's 56-game hitting streak? Then how do you explain the all-time homerun record? Steroids? Wait a minute, isn't one of my best friends the keyboard tech for "Smashing Pumpkins!" If anyone harbors concerns about GHWT keeping people from playing actual guitars, drums, etc., then where's all this same concern that violent video games like "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas", "Killer 7", and others will keep its players content to merely confine the violence to the screen instead of taking real guns and knives out into the street? Huh, what about that all you naysayers?
Before heading to the side of the stage where Smashing Pumpkins were doing an unusual (nay, bizarre) cover of Pink Floyd's "Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun", I was hoping to catch a glimpse of Tool's contribution to GHWT - not just the Tool-themed venue, but I was a bit curious to see if, already, certain (hidden) levels had been accessed. Here I'm referring to levels besides the back-stage extravaganza (if there was such a level) and, in particular, to the Etidorhpa-like utopia...(again, assuming there really is such a thing). But as I passed mini-stages with players strumming guitar controllers and pounding faux-drums, beads of sweat on their faces and note gems flashing in their bleary eyes, noticing the multiple screens with their "Rock Meter" and "Star Power" features, I started thinking about another game. An arcade game from the early 1980s called "Polybius."
I would have to check the September 2003 Tool newsletter, but if memory serves me correctly, the maze-oriented game with complex puzzle elements was believed to be responsible for its players suffering terrible nightmares, seizures, and bouts of amnesia.
Even stranger still, in one Pacific northwest suburb where the extremely popular game was possibly being secretly tested, the owner of the arcade reported government types in dark suits who would, from time to time, collect data such as the scores, notes from the sub-screens, and other records, but NEVER take any money out of the machine. With regards to these alphabet-soup government agency men, whose dress and behavior is reminiscent of the MIB silencers of UFO lore, it's interesting to note that the game itself was supposedly designed and manufactured by a corporation called "Sinneschlossen" (Sinnesloschen?), which in German means "sense-deleting" or "senseless." As I suggested back in 2003, "senseless" could be a phonetic pun for "cents less", thus making it a cryptic allusion to a documented MIB phenomena where the things in the black Homburgs threaten the experiencer of something highly anomalous by placing a coin in the palm of the person's hand and then make it seemingly disappear into thin air, afterwards claiming that the same thing will happen to the person's heart if they don't keep quiet. If not exactly organic robotoids, the black suit types were thought by some to be part of a military intel outfit, such as those who were once rumored to be collecting the initials and scoring information from "Space Invaders" and "Missile Command." (As a side note, the ancient Greek historian Polybius wrote about "anacyclosis", meaning internal decay of government or how democracy turns into tyranny.) Of course until someone produces a dead cabinet or Polybius ROM, most people will continue to think the whole thing is just an urban legend. But is it?
Why was I thinking about the dark rumors surrounding the Polybius game? Certainly NOT to suggest that there might be record industry types who secretly monitor GHWT, gathering data from the "Rock Meter" and "Star Power" meters, looking to put together the next super band (or next super prog-metal band). Nor am I in any way suggesting that, if that were indeed the case, with Tool's contribution to the game, somewhere among the more psychedelic levels of their trademark art, perhaps in the cavernous realms far beneath this "Egyplosis", the grand sorcerer will utter a certain Word of Power (that is also his/her name), thus radically disrupting any such industry scheme (if such ingenious machinations weren't simply the product of my own fevered imagination). No, I don't suppose any counter-measures were needed to be taken by the band. It's merely a coincidence that the set list is "VICARIOUS" (the meaning should be obvious to those who enjoy GHWT), "PARABOLA" (recall the opening sequence of the video with its record company mutants), and "SCHISM" (no comment necessary). Any 'mysterious' glitches, should they occur, are to be expected with a new version of a product like GHWT, right?..
But if such a 'sorcerer' (i.e. embedded code of a highly unusual nature) truly exists, how can he/she be found, and thus be prevented from uttering the Word? Might it be that after encountering the bizarrely uniformed security personnel riding mechanical golden ostriches in one of the kaleidoscopic tunnels, one must search for the garden of ******** where patches of grotesque crimson moss are gradually transformed into an eyeless guide with slippery prismatic flesh. Ignore its diarrheaic diatribe. Similarly, don't listen to the old prospectors tales in Calnogor or elsewhere about the golden rope of cyber-Amargosa. That will only lead you to anti-rainbows and chocolate fountains. Instead, from the thing on a seat of aloe-green velvet, obtain the CrackerJack-like prize knife used to separate the soul from the body... No that's not right... damn the woman in the polka-dot dress, and the open bar... It's the two powerful metals - Terrelium and Aquelium that are important. Take it from a person who purchased a treasure map of Kokoweef from the gentleman at the ruins of the Rectilineator, it's the two powerful metals that are needed to construct a dynamo... just like those in the story...
After hanging out for a while with my friend (who would be leaving after the private launch party to go on tour with Smashing Pumpkins), Danny grabbed his gift (GHWT, a Wii console, and other dreeguilles - actually, as I mentioned a while back, both Danny and his girlfriend are pretty good at GH), and we were chauffeured in a Prius hybrid back to Best Buy (thankfully the lovely in the 'Devil Grrrl' costume heard the silent contraption). From there, after a final drink, it was back to my Potemkin Village residence. Remember, I was busier than a Tijuana whore on nickel night in a room full of freemasons in rocking chairs. Oh, one more thing: "No", GHWT wasn't "the big thing" (your words) alluded to in earlier posts. I believe that's still a go. In the meantime, keep on rocking in the irised spotlight!..
HAPPY TRAILS
BMB
A couple of dates in November that Maynard and Eric will be at WHOLE FOODS.
NOV. 5 Henderson/Las Vegas, NV (100 S. Green Valley Pkwy) 4:30-7:30 PM
NOV. 7 La Jolla, CA (8825 Villa La Jolla Dr. at Nobel) 5:00-9:00 PM
BMB
Just a friendly reminder that MAYNARD (and Eric) will be doing bottle signings at the WHOLE FOODS MARKET in TUSTIN tonight (OCTOBER 21). Jamboree and Barranca Parkway at District at Tustin Legacy. 5-9 PM. Tomorrow night (OCTOBER 22) Maynard will be at the Whole Foods in WEST L.A. (11666 National Blvd at Barrington). Also 5-9.
BMB
NOVEMBER 11, 2008 marks the debut release from SEXTAPES on ToneRiot Records. The band features our good friend and Danny's former band mate CHRIS PITMAN (GUNS N ROSES, LUSK, ZAUM), MARKO FOX (also from ZAUM, and the voice on TOOL's "DIE EIER VON SATAN" from "Aenima"), KELLY WHEELER (who Danny played with in "Karmageddon"), and drummer RYAN BROWN. Here's a link to the band's BIO , Chris's myspace and his blog . Come to think of it, Chris also added some nice synth textures on "Aenima."
BMB
Drummer and skullet champ SASHA POPOVIC will pounding the skins with BLACK MATH HORSEMAN tomorrow night (THURSDAY, OCTOBER 16th) at THE MOUNTAIN BAR. Location for this FREE SHOW (21+) is 475 GIN LING WAY, L.A., CA. 90012 (between Hill St. and Broadway - in Chinatown). BMH are set to take the stage at 11:00.
BMB
DANNY CAREY, KIRK COVINGTON, LANCE MORRISON, and JOHN ZIEGLER, otherwise known as VOLTO! will be performing at THE BAKED POTATO on FRIDAY, OCTOBER 17th. Frighteningly big baked 'tators' and distillations to restore one's spirit. Location is 3787 CAHUENGA BLVD., WEST, UNIVERSAL CITY, CA. 91604. Number to call for advanced tickets is 818-980-1615. We hope to see you there.
BMB
For those celebrating with Eagletails and such...
BMB
D.C. has an audience with the Chief's POPE. I seriously doubt that one of the things discussed was the MASS OF SAINT-SECAIRE involving a certain Uncle AL in da biggedy biggedy O, but as some in the Black Hole will tell you (i.e. the wronged party), it's not such a terrible idea... Look for Danny's return to Arrowhead in the next couple of weeks - tailGating with slabs smothered in... what else but Gates.
BMB
PAUL DEVEREAUX's "THE LONG TRIP: A PREHISTORY OF PSYCHEDELIA" has recently been re-published by The DailyGrail Press, and is currently available via AMAZON U.S. and AMAZON U.K. Using archaeology, anthropology, linguistics, ethnobotany, biology, etc., the book explores the evidence of psychedelic experiences with various prehistoric societies and ancient cultures. Check it out HERE
BMB
Our best to MIKE SAVAGE and THE PIGMY LOVE CIRCUS who, after several years of not performing live, will be rocking at THE HOUSE OF BLUES in Hollywood tonight! A special moment, indeed.
BMB
As an addendum to yesterday's CHET ZAR ART SHOW post, Tool enthusiasts might be interested to know that included in the SEATTLE/ROQ LA RUE ART SHOW are two pieces ("Id" and "Psychonaut") that he painted at the two ALEX GREY live painting shows: the Hyper CoSMic Painting Jam, and the Visionary Art L.A. Just another reason to attend if you are in the area. Opening is this FRIDAY, OCTOBER 10.
BMB
CHET ZAR - "Postapocalysm"
Show OPENS on October 10th 6-9pm
Roq La Rue Gallery
2312 2nd Ave., Seattle, WA 98121
(206) 374-8977
BMB
A little better than that stuff the mysterious "toaster" leaves, and on a date that is more apropos...
BMB
There are many reasons the folks at Synesthesia say the Mandala drum is the smartest thing you'll ever hit with a stick, one being that you can actually compose songs with these pads. Mandalas are used and studied at places like the UC Berkeley Center for New Music & Audio Technologies and the CalArts Electronic Percussion Department. So, to help all those music school students out there, Synesthesia is knocking $50 off the price of a Mandala! You can hear some of this smart electronic drumming on our good friend Pat Mastelotto's [King Crimson/Tuner/Stickmen] new live Tuner CD called MUUT.
BMB
... And they didn't even need a Bartman... (strange, indeed). Congrats to the Cubs for a great season ( No Virgil Homer/William Sianis stuff here!)
BMB
Support an EXCELLENT website with a small donation ("voluntary subscription") and get a chance to win DAILYGRAIL-related prizes. This month, you could win a SIGNED, LIMITED EDITION PRINT OF ORIGINAL ARTWORK BY MAYNARD (mint condition with certificate of authenticity). Check out Maynard's "Sieben" HERE . (Posted on October 1)
BMB
Ribbon cutting day in JEROME ARIZONA as MAYNARD'S PUSCIFER STORE is scheduled for the official grand opening. "Cheese & Crackers!!!" (as one fellow from Salt Lake City exclaimed), Jerome may once again become "The wickedest town in the west." Look for the store above "Jerome Tattoo" or just ask any locals... (no, not the cheroot-smoking miner about to de-materialize - he hasn't a ghost of a notion)... In other news, last night's VP debate failed (predictably) to address the 'space aliens are amongst us' issue, as well as chem-trails, and the winged Sasquatch (i.e. "Batquatch"). Guess we're just going to have to rely on Ryan and his friends from "Paranormal State" to fix things...
BMB
Mahatma Gandhi's birthday seems like a good time to remind some of you about tabla master ALOKE DUTTA's performance in DENVER on OCTOBER 18. Aloke and KATALYST will be doing their thing at THE MERCURY CAFE (2199 California Street, Denver, CO.), with the all-ages show starting at 9 PM. For more information, contact Dave at katalystmusic3@yahoo.com.
BMB
For those of you who are planning to stop by WHOLE FOODS for Maynard and Eric's wine signing, please note that the times for the OCTOBER DATES have been changed (as I've noted on the original post). The new times for both the OCTOBER 21 signing in TUSTIN (Jamboree and Barranca Parkway at District at Tustin Legacy) and the OCTOBER 22 signing in West LA (11666 National Blvd at Barrington) will be from 5-9 PM.
Also, MAYNARD will be on JONESY'S JUKEBOX (INDIE 103.1) on OCTOBER 20th (12 PM, PST), and on JOE ESCALANTE's "WINO WEDNESDAY" on OCTOBER 22 at 8 AM. I'll post more info when it becomes available.
BMB
Cheers to the big guy, and look for Mike back at the mic when PIGMY LOVE CIRCUS opens for Killing Joke at THE HOUSE OF BLUES in Los Angeles on OCTOBER 9th. DANNY, MIKE, PETER, SHEP and JZ together again...
BMB
ADAM is a big fan. DANNY kind of, sort of (seeing how the Royals are... well, the Royals), so deal with it. Besides, we've waited manny years (for L.A.), and manny have contributed to the Dodger's clinching the NL West. Alright, nomar baseball posts until we see how the next series goes...
crappy blurry photo by BMB (using the camera Adam bought me, so this is definitely Tool-related news)
BMB
NO NEED TO GET JUMPY...
BMB
Some good news for fans of Danny Carey's drumming: Pre-sales for COLLIDE's new CD entitled "TWO HEADED MONSTER" are being shipped, with DANNY guest performing on 5, COUNT THEM, 5 SONGS! The official release date is September 23, but if you'd like more information, please visit the band's website . In the meantime, enjoy your equinox festivities.
BMB
Long, long overdue, our friend and supremely talented artist HEATHER McMILLEN now has a WEBSITE where you can view her work (including some projects that she was involved with for TOOL), and have access to contact information. Ever wonder what's hanging on the walls at Adam's house? Lots of strangely wonderful stuff, to be sure, including a highly-prized original Heather portrait.
BMB
SCOTT KINSEY's only performance this month will be tonight (THURSDAY, SEPT 18) at THE BAKED POTATO in Studio City. Strange stuff on the NORDS! We hope to you there.
Scott Kinsey : Keyboards
Arto Tuncboyaciyan : Percussion/Voice
Jimmy Earl : Bass
Gary Novak : Drums
Set's at 9:00 & 11:00 PM
$15 cover charge
www.scottkinsey.com
www.thebakedpotato.com
The Baked Potato
3787 Cahuenga Blvd West. Studio City, CA 91604
(818) 980-1615
BMB
TOOL NEWSLETTER
AUGUSTEMBER 2008 e.v.
"Up from Earth's Center through the Seventh Gate
I rose, and on the Throne of Saturn sate:
And many a Knot unravel'd by the Road;
But not the Master-knot of Human Fate."
Nuggets of gold like plums in a pudding and the rich purple luminosity of a Sedona twilight sky await me, but first I have an important decision to make: should I take the West Bethany Road exit in Phoenix for a WhataBurger, fries and Dr. Pepper or drive another sweltering, saguaro-dotted half hour for a "Bad Ass" Ortega chili burger (no cheese, please) and iced-down longneck at Kid Chilleen's in Black Canyon City? Without mentally tossing a coin, I head towards the giant orange 'W' over yonder, mainly just to save valuable time. And besides, it'll make LaraLee's spurs jangle. It has come to my attention that she has a hankering for the manna of the Lone Star State, and, frankly, this Yankee is tarred of hearin' about it. Still, as familiar as it might seem, I warn her that here in Arizona the chuck wagon comes without sparkling pee-splashers, toothpicks in empty Tabasco sauce bottles, fly swatters, and pralines in waxed paper... not to mention a right neighborly "Kin ah hep yew?" "Long as they don't ladle any Thousand Island sludge on a dead cow, I'll be in crabgrass heaven" she assures me...
Back on bumpy I-17, with the orchestral colors of a Grofe symphony blaring and the purdy blonde sitting next to me as happy as a dillo in the azaleas (burp!), a text message from Rynne informs us that her and Danny have just crossed the Arizona state line. What? That doesn't seem possible! Although they had planned on beating the morning commuter traffic out of L.A. by leaving at 6:00 AM, as the fates would have it (dead car batteries we were told), they didn't get on the road until 1:00 PM. On the other hand, Tejas and I had left at 9:00 AM sharp, and now Danny was only a little over an hour behind us! Like I said, it doesn't seem possible, but it's nice to know that he isn't pushing it - that or that Range Rover of his just doesn't have the giddy up of the shiny Italian thing (probably a good thing as I hear in Maricopa County it's not uncommon to find speeders spread-eagle over a campfire). Maybe they stopped for a souvenir. Come to think of it, a jalapeno sucker does sound pretty good right now. And speaking of highway eyesores, what's with all these dudes in pink boxer shorts eating oxidized green bologna?
Besides the tranquility of red rock country, and the peak of the annual Perseid meteor shower, I'm hoping to accomplish several things during my three-day trek to the Copper State. One being further research into old treasure legends of the area, including the lost Dutchman mine (or cache) believed to be in the shadow of "Weaver's Needle" in the ominous Superstition Mountain Range. In the never-ending bonanza of colorful, often apocryphal tales of Western Americana, perhaps related to this is the mysterious disappearance of old time prospector James Kidd in 1949, and the even more enigmatic handwritten will that he left behind - a considerable fortune for "research or some scientific proof of a soul of the human body which leaves at death."
And when not Breyfogling with dead prospectors while slouched in a comfortable chair, or hiking among the twisted juniper of Bell Rock, I'm planning on visiting Maynard, the oenophile, himself, who is currently at his Jerome homestead gearing up for the first Aurelia harvest. Along with a grand tour of his Merkin Vineyards, I'm looking forward to tasting some local creations (wine grown "in a place like this"), in particular, a sampling of his own offerings. And then there are the more esoteric vinticultural (not to be confused with vinicultural) activities of 'Eschol' in Arizona to pursue. As for Danny and Rynne, I promised shooting stars and a coyote's yip... prickly-pear margaritas and energy vortexes. What could be better than watching a majestic hawk from the shade of a paloverde tree, or some mesquite-grilled ingesta washed down with cerveza exquisita as herds of javalina and escaped female chain gangs rustle beneath the desert starshine?
Seated around the fire-pit with a cold cans of Modelo at our favorite little resort in Sedona, the caretaker of sorts and long-time Arizona resident, "Jim", tells us about some recent daylight sightings of an anomalous object in the area - this being a mysterious black orb that appeared near Bell Rock a couple of days ago, moving in utter silence before vanishing amid the breathtaking scenery. Rather than being of an extraterrestrial/inter-dimensional nature, Jim has a more prosaic explanation, believing the areoform to be one of MaCain's newest toys (more likely, though, a device owned by sheriff Arpaio after saving money by eliminating salt & pepper from his prisons). As I'm about to press him for further details, Danny and Rynne pull up in the dusty Range Rover, letting an exuberant boxer named "Levi" out to explore the place. With an eye on the gathering clouds, I suggest that we enjoy the sunset before getting supplies for tonight's meteor extravaganza. Soon, however, the fire-pit is invaded by a swarm of little kids on vacation with their parents, daddy now preparing to make those campfire treats known as s'mores. In the process of lighting a few logs, he hands us a couple of warm Bud Lites for our trouble. Even so I can't help but mention something to the young 'ums about the deadly bark scorpions who like to nestle in the brittle wood. After all, in the highly unlikely event that I should decide to partake of something that grows from meadow muffins, I most certainly don't want it to be spoiled by the mirth of Hershey-besmirched faces. Wouldn't you agree, LaraLee? "Ah surely doooo", she replies, flicking a Marlboro butt into the flames. Bud Lites!
With bats wheeling overhead in search of prey in the rapidly diminishing light, knowing that Danny and Rynne didn't take the West Bethany Home exit in Phoenix, I present them both with an appetizer hotdog dressed with Wolf Brand Chili (that we received as a care package). Is it a mistake to give Levi one as well I wonder as he stares at me with those big sad eyes? But there's more. Even without bullfighters on velvet and sequined sombreros on the walls of our chalet, someone brings tortilla chips, guacamole, and a special chili con queso dip made with Ro-tel tomatoes and Velveeta, which, according to my Texas lexicon, is quite larrupin'.... or so I'm told. At any rate, it ought to hold 'em until we fire up the grill for something more substantial.
So far we've seen rabbits, quail, and roadrunners, but it's only a matter of time before the nocturnal critters make an appearance. That's also when one can sometimes observe unexplained misty white lights moving over the nearby rock formations. Not exactly being of the crystal-laden, brake for worms and caterpillars persuasion (as is evident by the "Never mind Freeing Tibet: Visualize Using Your Turn Signal" bumper sticker on my rental), I'd like to think that they're car headlights. But they're not, and it says so right here in my "Ultimate Sedona Guide to Unexplained Misty White Lights." Whatever the phenomenon is, it's not occurring tonight, and let it be duly noted in the Akashic records.
In the dramatic luminescence, tonight it's Venus that commands one's attention, although Danny's got my spotting scope focused on the wain in which the legendary treasure of the medieval Knight's Templar was smuggled out of Paris (i.e. the constellation Ursa Major). Still waiting for God to hurl fiery stones, while gazing up at the glittering infinity, I think about the curious matter of the wandering prospector, Kidd, who was known to have spent countless hours in the Arizona wilderness with his eyes lifted to the heavens in contemplation of things metaphysical. Besides the whole gold-soul dichotomy, there are many puzzling mirror-opposite 'parallels' between him and the enigmatic, now celebrated priest of Rennes-le-Chateau, Berenger Sauniere. Although both were impoverished gold-hungry dreamers who obtained seemingly impossible wealth in a region steeped in legend and mystery (and blood), while Kidd lived a solitary existence and was said to be a penny-pincher, even to the point of saving his used chewing gum in an aspirin tin and nursing a nickel cigar all day, the flamboyant Sauniere, on the other hand, spared no expense, surrounding himself with all kinds of extravagances. While the reclusive Kidd performed odd jobs to pay his few dollars a week rent, the Signor of Rennes built a grand estate where he frequently entertained guests, many being notables of the time. And although both men engaged in unusual (nay, bizarre) activities after their good turn, it seems as unlikely that Kidd's sudden riches came exclusively from gambling on the stock market as Sauniere's came entirely from trafficking in illicit masses. Students of the RLC mystery might also find it intriguing that Kidd, who staked his claims in Arizona's rugged Pinals, had an associate who was a Basque from the Pyrenees, and it was this companion of his who is believed to have taken the eccentric prospector's secret to the grave.
"Strange, is it not? that of the myriads who
Before us pass'd the door of Darkness through,
Not one returns to tell us of the Road,
Which to discover, we must travel too."
With a few bright meteors now streaking across the less than inky black night sky, and the fuzzy Pleiades visible to the naked eye, there were other mirror-opposite parallels between the two to consider. Although, as said, one squandered his fortune on luxuries and other Quixotic endeavors while the other squirreled away his money in banks, in both cases a series of bewildering clues were left behind with regards to the possible source of their inexplicable wealth. In the case of Sauniere his bizarrely-garish 'treasure-map' church is well known to Rennes aficionados and an ever-growing interested public, while, with the prospector, any hints (in miner's terminology, call them location markers) were removed from a safe deposit box and placed among numerous canvas sacks and dusty cartons of dormant accounts and unclaimed estates in a gloomy subterranean bank vault in downtown Phoenix, Arizona.
Along with a holographic will dated January 2nd, 1946 (=23) scrawled on a scrap of paper, leaving all his worldly goods to anyone who could prove the existence of a soul of the human body which leavers at death, was a photo of the miner-prospector, dressed in of all things, a business suit, staring into the camera with "a quizzical enigmatic half- smile", while in the background was "an amorphous pasticcio of vines" (see "the Great Soul Trial" by John G. Fuller). Imaging this, I can't help but smile, myself, at the words uttered by the perplexed public servant working for the Estate Tax Commissioner's Office who first discovered the will in the dusty vault. At first thinking it must be some kind of joke, only to soon be overcome with a very eerie feeling, Mrs. Geraldine C. Swift later stated, oddly enough: "I thought that I just had to be dreaming. I even felt that I could have eaten it." But, of course, it was a joke, Mrs. Swift! Sauniere's Golden Touch was the result of performing illicit masses, and the extremely frugal Kidd, who often recited his favorite passage from the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam, amassed a considerable fortune, not with a prospector's pick, but by cashing in on penny stocks! As for any fanciful notions of his missing without a trace status, look for his remains at the bottom of an abandoned mineshaft in the treacherous Pinals or Superstitions. (Compare with the public spectacle farewell of Sauniere, with the priest's dead body seated upright in an armchair on a sunny terrace of a 'fairytale' tower while a parade of mourners paid their last respects by plucking tassels from his ornate chasible.)
With all this talk of the Philosopher's Stone and other far-fetched ideas, before we know it the height of this year's Perseids has come and gone, with only a few stragglers to be seen as it's now starting to get light outside. Due in large part to a brightly shining moon, admittedly the whole thing was a bit of a disappointment. No family of javalinas or floating black triangles either! From a table cluttered with empty beer bottles and crushed cigar stubs, we watch a postcard picture sunrise over the magic buttes and spires of the prestigious red rocks. With birds chirping in the dramatic lighting, I notice that thousands of ants have invaded a hunk of peanut butter fudge that was left unattended. And with the drone of bees among the variegated desert flowers comes the laughter of kids splashing in the swimming pool. Which reminds us, it's time to get a few precious hours of sleep. Soon Maynard will be calling...
Power spots or not, we're not exactly radiant and mucus free when we pull into the rustic Page Springs Cellars, a family owned winery in the Verde Valley where Maynard bottles his various Caduceus wines. Documenting our arrival is MJK, himself, wearing a generic white cap and Puscifer tee-shirt as he raises an expensive-looking camera to take a couple more photos in the sun-dappled parking lot. Walking over to us, he shakes his head in mock amused contempt upon noticing some minor dents in the Range Rover (that he sold to Danny). After exchanging a few pleasantries, LaraLee and I climb into the vintner's shiny black Rubicon Jeep so that we can begin our tour of the Merkin Vineyards. With Danny and Rynne following, we head down a narrow road into what soon becomes more forbidding terrain, passing jack pines, junipers, mesquite, and cholla cacti, although I suppose it's theoretically possible that at least one is a disguised cell phone tower (the jack pine would be my best guess). While bumping along in the Jeep, glancing around at the shimmering lava boulders in the arroyo-gutted landscape, Maynard gives us a geology lesson, pointing to the telltale stratigraphy of surrounding formations. And when not being schooled in Precambrian landforms and extraordinary erosion under brilliant blue skies, we are shown other local features of interest, such as the entrance to McCain's desert lair, Georgia Frontiere's former residence, and the future location of a Merkin market. I sure hope there's not going to be a quiz later...
Unlocking the gate and pulling into the first Merkin Vineyard, Maynard wastes little time showing us the various grapes, picking several from the vines and handing them to us to taste. In the scorching heat, we sample more luscious specimens plucked from the canopy's glistening spider webs, with Maynard explaining the unique characteristics of each (ditat Deus- God enriches). Again, I hope there's not going to be a quiz. I'm still confused about the sedimentary layers of the Paleozoic... Fuck, Arizona's complicated. It's not just about feathered kachinas and scorpion lollipops. Complicated and hot! When's the Merkin Market going to be open? With LaraLee wearing purple flip-flops in this harsh environment, Maynard warns her to be careful as we proceed, his guests, and not one of us even a prospective sommelier!, now being shown a piece of machinery that is used to protect the vines under various climatic conditions. But not only does the extreme weather pose a problem to the crops here in Arizona. There are also vineyard pests to contend with, such as the glassy-winged sharpshooter, western grape leaf skeletonizer, and something known simply as "armed meth heads." As we head back to the Jeep to drive to Maynard's next terroir, I just know that "Phylloxera" will be on the test!
There is a modest recently-built structure on the next wing of the Merkin Vineyards - a getaway from the getaway, I suppose, and inside there's a piece of equipment that I'm very happy to see - a refrigerator, from which we're offered an icy amber treasure called beer! Although I would have settled for a shadowed arroyo, the cold bottle fits well in my hand, and should keep me good company as we head back into the trademark sunshine to sample more of the fragrantly bitter clusters of pommes bleues, and, of course, to learn a bit more about the art and science of winemaking.
"So when that Angel of the darker Drink
At last shall find you by the river-brink,
And, offering his Cup, invite your Soul
Forth to your Lips to quaff - - you shall not shrink."
It's late afternoon when we return to the Page Springs Cellars to check out the cavernous barrel-room where the Caduceus wines are carefully bottled and corked. Here we are given a sneak preview of things to come as Maynard finds a 'thief' with which to siphon the complex aroma directly from the aging barrels. Although I can't help but wonder about the angel's share, I don't say anything as the others are too content with the rich palate to have any concerns about a little evaporation. As we are next taken step by step through the bottling procedure, along with everything else we've seen and heard today, it's very apparent that this is not the mere indulgence of a 'rock star' with a disposable income (whatever that means). This is not Michael Jordan trying to play baseball. With his latest endeavors and a near-encyclopedic knowledge of the subject, this is obviously a true passion of Maynard's, as well as a serious business, and anyone who should ask if he is proud of his accomplishments (even at this early stage) should expect nothing less than an immediate "duh." Emerging from the bowels of the winery, I am absolutely positively certain that "anthocyanin' will be on the test...
After our little sensory evaluation in the subterranean depths, it's time for more Vinotherapy. Whether or not this next tasting assignment will be a vertical, horizontal, disguised, or other, I don't know, but it certainly is nice to be seated on the shady patio, listening to the murmur of the creek and watching the indigenous wildlife as we sample dozens of excellent wines. Soon Maynard's good friend and business associate, Eric, joins us. Speaking of indigenous wildlife, he promptly shows us where he was bitten by a spider on his leg last night. Although he doesn't think it was a Brown Recluse, with a slight discoloration to the flesh, methinks it might be the handiwork of a non-brown Arizona Recluse (there would probably be more tissue death with the brown six-eyed terror). Whatever the case, Eric shrugs it off: "Don't come here if you don't like spiders" he tells the arachnophobe (who had planned on checking out a condo in this cosmic region tomorrow). Cytotoxin being cytotoxin, let's just blame a Yellow Sac with a bolo... or rail-hopping Hobo... a big fellow in any event, and if it was in my close proximity, I'm afraid I'd have to crush it like a grape. Trying to decide if we are going to head back to Sedona before meeting up with Maynard for dinner in Jerome, due to time considerations, especially with all the road construction going on in the area (their crystals not programmed for that, I guess), the plan is to continue the tour... and tasting-flight, I hope, at Maynard's desert hideaway.
Zigzagging up Cleopatra Hill in the able Rubicon, we are afforded a spectacular view of the valley floor as we pass ramshackle buildings, museums, and rusted mining-era paraphernalia perched on a cliff alongside upscale art galleries, saloons, and trendy (though haunted) burger eateries. Once known as "the wickedest town in the west" with its brothels and opium dens, the former copper mining camp of Jerome is now an artist Mecca and picturesque tourist magnet, evident by the rainbow spectrum of SUVs parked along the steep, narrow boutique-lined streets. Within minutes of all this ghostly quaintness, we arrive at the futuristic gate of Maynard's impregnable Tabula smaragdina.
It had been many years since I had last visited the place, back in the summer of 2002 to be precise, while the Rodeo, Chedeski, and Show Low wildfires were wreaking havoc on the state, and you could still buy a loaded handgun with your twelve-pack of Coors Light at the local Circle-K. At that time, we had arranged for a geologist to perform a baseline soil analysis at various horizons on the site for potential vineyard development. While I don't exactly remember what was in the final report, evidently, with or without the addition of diffuse shade trees, there was now plenty of evidence of vinticultrural activities, and here was Maynard, one of the pioneers of the local movement, taking pre-orders for a 2006 "Primer Paso", and a new blend called "Shinola." I also remember thinking back then how he was taking himself off the grid. Now, as we pulled into the driveway and parked next to the "Merkin Mobile", a funky customized red Subaru Brat, itself parked next to an ominously dark Police Interceptor, it was apparent that there had been lots of new construction, with at least some of the additions designed to keep one comfortable in the event of a global catastrophe. In a "Bart's Comet" scenario, this wouldn't be a bad place to be, although to remain in your leather recliner swirling a glass of Penfolds you'd probably have to know the treatment for "Pierce's Disease" or something else useful. (I know, because I asked.)
With the energy of someone who didn't stay up all night watching meteors, and who was drinking water during the wine-tasting, there's no rest for the weary as Maynard takes us on yet another tour of terraced grapevines. Passing a mammoth excavator that shows only a slight layer of patina. I wonder if our host ever unearthed a skeleton with a gold Elgin octagonal pocket-watch? Climbing a somewhat treacherous hillside in the high altitude, some of us pause to catch our breath. Noticing several fairly realistic-looking fake birds flying kite-like over the netted grapevines, and realizing that they are meant to be a deterrent to natural predators, I ask their owner if any of these scaring devices are the more expensive high-tech models that actually take fake craps from time to time so as to fool any crop pests that might be suspicious. "Only one", someone replies. When I tell him that I guess that answers Omar Khayyam's question in "The Rubaiyat" when he asks: "I wonder often what the Vinters buy One half so precious as the stuff they sell." someone says that he has a couple of tarantula scaring devices on the property as well, although I can't for the life of me understand their purpose. Oh well... In that we haven't eaten all day and it's nearly sundown, perhaps we should think about rustling up some grub. I'm so hungry that I could eat the colors off a glassy-winged sharpshooter. Not to worry. I'm told that we've reservations for some gourmet fare at 8:30, which, I suppose, rules out biscuits, a can of beans, and yarns by the campfire.
Oh, Thou who Man of baser Earth didst make,
And ev'n with Paradise devise the Snake:
For all the Sin wherewith the Face of Man
Is blacken'd - - Man's forgiveness give - - and take!
"Fuckin' Garden of Eden", Maynard utters as he picks some ripe figs and then snags an apple from his little desert garden, offering the four of us a taste. But what about a fig leaf? The twilight sky baths us in an odd diffused orange and delicate cool pink glow - the perfect time to revisit 'Eschol' in Arizona - that mysterious place that "eateth the people up", although when it comes to any discussion of al-Khemical vinticulture (or esoteric oenology in 'general'), the prima material must be kept a secret, especially with all your average poke of salt and slab of bacon treasure hunters about. With that caveat, we can now enter the "Black Spot" (not unlike the one near France's La Valdieu) - a tract of land reserved for more exotic pursuits such as the potable gold in the amphora of Cleopatra, who "would drink the value of a province in one cup of wine."
Now, with regards to celestial impact sites, when emission spectroscopy for deposits of rare earth metals fails... and metal salts and black alkali just doesn't cut it alone (ala Arizona farmer David Hudson, that champion of "ghost gold" and high-spin phenomena), what is one to do? Do you take a page from Bram Stoker, recalling that the cargo of the "Demeter" consisted only of silver sand (used to polish stones!) and earth? In order to collect the Perspiration of Re-Osiris (ah, symbolic euphemisims!), on recent trips to Egypt, do you bring back some soil of Khem? Mmmm, perhaps. Why, the occult cognoscenti asks? When seeking to extract "The Jewel of Divine Anthrpophagy" (see IJYNX) used for transcending human limitations, if the cupboards of the necropolis are bare, consider the Priests of Heliopolis with their legend of the bennu-PHOENIX, that mythical creature with a brilliant plumage who, when NOT bearing its predecessor embalmed in a ball of myrrh, RISES from the ASHES. If that's just a trifle ambiguous, then pour yourself a sweet Cypriot Commandaria substitute. As it is, I'm bound to keep my fig leaf firmly in place (in the parlance of the trade). Otherwise, like some of those gold-crazed wanderers before me, I might just find myself committed to an asylum...
"Waste not your Hour, nor in the vain pursuit
Of This and That endeavor and dispute;
Better be jocund with the fruitful Grape
Than sadden after none, or bitter, fruit."
The five of us arrive for what promises to be some fine dining at "Asylum", a restaurant "on the fringe" in Jerome's Grand Hotel that used to be an insane asylum during the mining boom, and is thus believed by locals to be haunted. I don't know about any spooks, but it seems possible that at least one former patient was never released, seeing that there is a pastrami salad on the menu. With Jeromites, I might have expected a pipe organ cactus salad, but pastrami, that is on the fringe, if not the opalescent mist of the endomatrix!
After we are seated, it doesn't take long for the wine to flow. Not just wine. Not just boutique wine... but wine ordered by a winemaker. As they are decanted by the resident sommelier, I order some "Hippie Humus" and a bottle of flat water, knowing that it's going to be a long night. As more wines are swirled and sipped, Maynard's lady friend finally arrives, a lovely thing from Sedona who toys with the idea of ordering the roasted butternut squash soup. With some eclectic appetizers, the bottles keep coming. At one point, along with a bewildering mass of food, I count 29 wine glasses on the table. Maynard even orders a mesquite bacon-wrapped Filet Mignon dinner (besides his other dinner) just so that each of us can have a bite to go with a particular vintage (for comparison purposes). Looking for any evidence that the place is indeed haunted, such as someone drinking a fruity Bartles & James cooler in one of the framed Wine Spectator Magazine photos hanging on the walls, as the waiter deftly cuts the Filet into the required number of pieces, a slice of meat mysteriously falls onto the floor. Seeing this, the head of the table quickly reaches down and picks it up, popping it into his mouth, afterwards claiming that it was well within the range of the 5-second rule. Could we actually be seated with the decoy MJK, I wonder? Or is the cabernet demi-glaze just that good? Either way, the cuddly dillo is duly impressed, as are we all.
At Maynard's request, the waiter brings a photograph that was recently taken by a customer. To some this would clearly seem to show a ghostly apparition - perhaps a misty white-uniformed nurse from when the place was a laughing academy. After examining it, I'm a bit skeptical, although I must admit that the clock in the background, with its hands frozen on the stroke of midnight, makes for a nice added touch. Sorry, but I'm not one of those alfalfa sprouts who buys into the whole ghost town thing. I am, however, enjoying the salty texture and conversation of colorful locals who have stopped by to meet us Californians with "all our orange trees," even though at times it's hard to hear them over all the coughing of miners...
With our bellies filled with king crab, lobster, and Sonoran spicy chicken, and our tongues stained a hideous purple, Maynard discreetly gestures for the check. Somehow noticing this, Danny insists on paying the National Debt, claiming that his band mate always gets it. After going back and forth for several minutes, with my spectator's heart pounding in anticipation, Maynard finally allows Danny to 'win', but only this one time.
"The Grape that can with Logic absolute
The Two-and-Seventy jarring Sects confute:
The sovereign Alchemist that in a trice
Life's leaden metal into Gold transmute:"
Seated comfortably in a lawn chair on Maynard's deck, I'm handed a bottle of water as I gaze up at patches of the sparkling night sky, hoping to catch the tail end of the Perseids. The water is to cleanse one's palate, I'm warned, glancing over to see some wine breathing in a decanter only a few feet away. I tell LaraLee that she might as well hang up her saddle and stay a spell. It appears that this tasting flight is far from over. As coyotes howl off in the distance (finally), and we attempt to put a dent in the fabled wine cellar (hardly!), before each pour of the liquid that flames and dances within its crystal bounds (to almost quote Milton), there is a brief introduction, if you will, relating to our host's personal appreciation of the particular vintage. This is, at times, analytical, at others philosophical, especially when it comes to a commentary of the diverse characteristics and range of perceived flavors.
As the night unfolds, some of these descriptions become quite baffling to me. For example, while I get "smoky", "chocolate", "tobacco", "figs", "plums" and "blueberry", or even "well-worn velvet" and a freakin' "Daicon radish", it's another thing to identify among the rich palate flavors such as "rubber feet", "Jimmy Dean pork sausage", "cartoon vitamins", and "the reverse side of a 1938 Mercury Head dime."
When not discussing the primordial DNA of wine-grapes, mapped genes, or the complexity of that stuff in a swirled glass, the singer begins to talk about the band, both Puscifer and Tool, using Danny as a sounding board for some ideas that he has, including a rather unique approach to touring in the future. Of course any privileged information relating to this can't be divulged - one could say that it is protected by a fiery-eyed chupacabra (in this case, one that affects one's memory).
Now that it's getting late and the girls are tired, once Danny is good to go (with a little help from a colossal espresso machine), we decide to head back to our resort in Sedona. Even though he has to get up at 5:30 in the morning to pick grapes (knowing that he will be "a wounded Vino soldier", as he wrote in his on-line journal), Maynard urges us to wait a bit longer, and to drink some more... water. This is probably a good idea considering the sheriff with his breathalyzer, hand-cuffs, and fire ants... Wait a minute, wrong county. Even so, you wouldn't want to have a Daicon radish on your breath...
"And those who husbanded the Golden grain,
And those who flung it to the winds like Rain,
Alike to no such aureate Earth are turn'd
As, buried once, Men want dug up again."
The next day, Maynard's not the only wounded Vino soldier. Squinting in the afternoon sun, Danny and I take our auras to the tourist trap section of Sedona, where Pink Jeeps, Kokopelli, and alien herbal therapy are easier to find than a pack of Macanudo cigars. Debating whether or not to seek the help of a psychic on this matter in one of a dozen or so pastel-colored crystal emporiums, we finally locate a shop that has them for three times the going rate. But with kaleidoscopic rock formations in the background, that only seems fair. After picking up some specialty salsas for tonight's sauce-painted carne, and, strangely enough, a few local wines, somewhat more centered now, it's back to the road construction, having escaped without so much as botanical soy candle.
With a fantastic view of the red rock sentinels, when not pondering the concept of ear coning, I spend the rest of the day looking over my notes... There's Maynard and Eric's upcoming wine signing hosted by Arizona Stronghold Vineyards at Whole Foods market locations in California, Nevada, and Arizona... Chupacabra and other Caduceus wines... "Now what was that that Maynard said about being inspired to write music... recording some stuff on Garage Band?" Having recognized the spot where he recently took a hammer to his laptop, I can't help but wonder if anyone has even faintest clue as to what I was referring to when I told them to be patient... that good things are coming? "Obviously not, judging by all the e-mail that I've received." Then there's the whole Guitar Hero thing that's still to come... "Is it time to dust off the Ouija Board and attempt to contact Bill Hicks?" "Yes, I think so..." Wait a minute, BMB, don't forget your rule: it's alright to ask yourself a question... even out loud... but you never answer yourself... out loud...
And then I come to those magic words: Veni vidi vici... Time for more neurological pondering of that man of mystery, the prospector James Kidd, who vanished in 1949, never to be seen or heard from again. With regards to the "Pandora's Box" containing stock certificates and his strange will involving a considerable fortune for "research or some scientific proof of a soul of the human body which leaves at death", recalling the catchy advertising slogan: "When E.F. Hutton talks, people listen", I turn my attention to the legendary lost Dutchman mine in Arizona's foreboding Superstition Mountains, where many believe the loner Kidd found the source of his wealth (if not from a mining claim in the nearby Pinals).
While cynical lost mine buffs doubt there ever was a mother-lode, as is believed to be hidden near a hat-shaped peak called the "Sombrero" (now "Weaver's Needle"), and that the Dutchman's rich strike was, in fact, gold high-graded from another source, namely the "Vulture Mine", over the years, if not going stark raving mad, many have met with death in search of it. Random beheadings and the occasional bullet hole through the temple only add to the mystique, but these violent deaths, aside from being a warning to any would-be claim jumpers, could also be seen as directional signals. The "strange disaster stalks this awesome place" is reminiscent of a place in another region where mysterious signs and cryptic references are said to indicate the location of a fabulous treasure... a place where there is both lust for gold and the soul... and whose unbelievable riches continue to taunt those seekers...
Here, where one can wipe up spilled Colloidal silver with astrological-chart paper towels, I won't ask you to follow a crudely-drawn waybill or some treasure map divulged from a deathbed, but should you astral project yourself onto a lonely trail where granite outcroppings reflect the broiling sun, or around a crackling fire surrounded by ghostly saguaro under the cosmos, keeping in mind that some of Kidd's companions were Harvard and Stanford graduates, is it the slightest bit conceivable that there is a connection involving one of life's deepest puzzles between the quiet, solitary prospector, who, in a diner always ate the cheapest thing on the menu and never left a tip, and the bombastic priest of Rennes-le-Chateau who was known for his lavish lifestyle? And if so, could it have been through an intermediary from the Pyrenees named Eusbio Castelar, who, along with an esoteric society, provided the prospector with the proof he so eagerly desired? And with these astonishing revelations, did Kidd, in turn, leave clues in a Last Will and Testament that was scrawled on a sheet of ledger paper? Contemplating the idea of a photograph of the soul leaving a human at death, once again, I think about the photo of Kidd with "a quizzical, enigmatic half-smile" that was found in the unclaimed safe deposit box. Never left a tip... Nice one. I then make a mental note to stop at Stalz's drug store in downtown Phoenix... but, upon further consideration, I decide that it's probably no longer there...
photo by Maynard James Keenan (obviously)
Quotes from The Rubaiyat by Omar Khayyam
HAPPY TRAILS
BMB
Here's some info from the press release:
"Vineyard owners Maynard James Keenan and Eric Glomski kick off signings of 2007 Arizona Stronghold "Tazi," "Mangus," and "Nachise" beginning Sept. 16 in Pasadena."
"Cornville, Ariz., Aug. 7 - Arizona Stronghold Vineyard vintners Maynard James Keenan (Caduceus Cellars/Merkin Vineyards owner and front man for Tool and Puscifer) and Eric Glomski (Page Springs Cellars) will host, in conjunction with Whole Foods Market, a series of bottle signings beginning Sept. 16 in Pasadena, Calif. The pair will be signing bottles of the debut 2007ASV releases as well as the 2006 Merkin Vineyards Chupacabra, and a handful of Keenan's Caduceus wines."
Dates and locations for the signings are:
September 17 4:30 - 7:30 pm Venice, CA (225 Lincoln Blvd at Rose)
October 21 5-9 PM Tustin, CA
(Jamboree and Barranca Pkway at the
Districtat Tustin Legacy)
22 5-9 PM West Los Angeles, CA (11666 National Blvd. at Barrington)
November 4 4:30 - 7:30 pm Henderson/Las Vegas, NV (100 S. Green Valley Pkwy)
6 5-9 pm San Diego, CA (8825 Villa La Jolla Dr. at Nobel)
December 2 9 am - 12 pm Fairfax/Los Angeles, CA (6350 W. 3rd St. at Fairfax)
3 4:30 - 7:30 pm El Segundo, CA (760 S. Sepulveda Blvd. at Rosecrans)
9 4:30 - 7:30 pm Las Vegas, NV (6689 Las Vegas Blvd. S. at Sunset Rd.
in Town Square Las Vegas)
10 4:30 - 7:30 pm Chandler, AZ (2955 W. Ray Rd. at the 101)
11 4:30 - 7:30 pm Scottsdale, AZ 7111 E. Mayo Blvd. at Scottsdale Blvd.
15 4:30 - 7:30 pm Scottsdale, AZ (8688 E. Raintree Dr. at the 101)
About Arizona Stronghold Vineyards
"ASV lies at the eastern edge of Sulfur Springs Valley, in Cochise County (alongside the Wilcox Playa) in a small, unincorporated area known as the Kansas Settlement. The vineyard site is 80 acres with 66 acres currently under vine. Co-owned by Eric Glomski (Page Springs Cellars) and Maynard James Keenan (Caduceus Cellars/Merkin Vineyards), ASV's mission is to present affordable top quality Arizona wine made by passionate Arizona based winemakers. Keenan says of the vineyard, "One of our many goals here in Arizona is to establish a cornerstone around which locally owned and operated, sustainable and organic industries can thrive."
BMB
Saturday, October 18th
David Miller Presents...
Aloke Dutta and Katalyst
@ The Mercury Cafe
2199 California St. Denver, CO 80205
9pm Show
$12 @ the door only
All Ages!
ALOKE will also be teaching TABLA to a limited number of students while in Denver. Please contact David Miller at katalystmusic3@yahoo.com for more information.
BMB
The NEW COLLIDE CD entitled "TWO HEADED MONSTER" features DANNY CAREY doing what he does best - DRUMMING! The album is set to be officially released on SEPTEMBER 23, but PRE-SALES are NOW available HERE , with the first 200 people who buy one receiving a free SIGNED poster (kaRIN & Statik). Been waiting a while for this!
www.collide.net
BMB
A few minutes ago I found out from the band's management that we're now cleared to announce TOOL's participation with GUITAR HERO. Here's part of the press release:
"Hugely popular alternative metal band Tool, known for their epic, intense musical arrangements and killer visual arts, will also soon be known for their contribution to the upcoming Guitar Hero® World Tour. Guitar Hero fans from all over the world will be able to rock out to "Parabola" and Grammy-award winning "Schism" from Tool's critically-acclaimed 2001 album Lateralus in addition to "Vicarious" from their 2006 Grammy-award winning album 10,000 Days. The game will also feature an all-new venue designed in collaboration with the band and highlighting the art style that has become a staple in their music videos, live shows and album artwork."
BMB
ALOKE DUTTA is currently taking on more students, and those interested should visit his website . Last night LaraLee and I made dinner for Aloke and a couple of his students (DANNY and AARON HARRIS), and I must tell you that, even though he has quit drinking and smoking, the Tabla Master not only looked great (having recovered very nicely from his recent heart problems), but was in great spirits. Lots of reminiscing and funny stories at that table, not to mention some excellent food (just don't tell Aloke that we added Taj Mahal beer to the vindaloo).
BMB
Tool's good friend Adele Mildred is moving to Merry Ole England to study and pursue her dreams (strange ones at that, I would guess), and in order to make ends meet, she is selling via her myspace page some original artwork at REALLY great prices. This would be an edition of 50 Gocco prints, hand-tinted and numbered. Adele, who has worked with Adam on many band-related projects (props, wardrobe, etc.), is one of the true gems of the Tool Family, so go check out her stuff, and let's see to it that she's able to enjoy tea and crumpets and other stereotypical British food while she's over there. Off you go...
BMB
A LIMITED 30 PIECE EDITION of a HAND-MODELED BRONZE SCULPTURE by ADAM JONES is for sale by MICROCoSM GALLERY - a non-profit gallery of CoSM (The Chapel of Sacred Mirrors) in New York City. The beginning price is set at $7,000, with that price later increasing as the sculptures sell. For additional information, please visit www.cosm.org .
BMB
Your well's about to come in! El hombre Ziggy and the boys of HUPCAP CORRAL will be slingin' the bull, jamming, and grilling fajitas with all the fixins on MONDAY NIGHT at the BAKED POTATO in... STUDIO CITY. Bring guitars, pinto beans, tortillas or whatever you feel the need to toss on that Texas hibachi of his. Things get started 'round 8:00 PM, and that's the dead-right facts. See y'all there!
THE BAKED POTATO
3787 CAHUENGA BLVD., WEST
STUDIO CITY, CA. 91604
BMB
I know that some Tool enthusiasts will pay a goodly amount for a band member's autograph, but I think drummer Danny Carey may have paid the most! Prior to attending a recent Dodgers-Rockies game, hopefully to see his friend Glendon Rusch pitch, D.C. stopped at an ATM to get some cash. As he was requesting $400.00 (which he was going to use to buy a couple of dogs and beers, as well as a bag of peanuts if there was any change left over), a young Tool fan approached him and asked for an autograph. Happy to oblige the kid, as he scrawled his signature on something, the dispensed cash (all $400.00!) was sucked back into the infernal machine, leaving Danny with only a printed receipt stating that the money had been withdrawn. So, guess who was stuck buying the dogs and beers? That's right... Danny. After all, they do take credit cards. BTW, Glendon never saw action that night as the Rockies beat Manny and the Dodgers, causing them to fall another game behind Arizona in the standings.
BMB
Danny and I checking out the 'pommes bleues' in one of the Merkin Vineyards during a recent trip to Arizona. Being that we're not exactly your average poke of salt and slab of bacon treasure hunters, ponderings of lost caches in the Superstitions, Breyfogling with dead prospectors, and some thoughts on al-Khemical viniculture will be the focus of the next newsletter (ala the 2002 'Augustember' offering)... including a grand tour of Maynard's wine-making operation, although, unfortunately, I failed the quiz miserably.
photo by Maynard James Keenan
BMB
Birthday greetings to KEVIN WILLIS, producer of Tool videos, Tool photographer, artist extraordinaire, adventurer, and the undisputed king of the grill (except for when it comes to hotdogs, which he always burns... and I mean to a crispy coal black char that I just can't eat). Hugs from the entire Tool family! .. and let's try to keep an eye on those dogs in the future, shall we.
photo by Camella Grace
BMB
Danny Carey, John Ziegler, Kirk Covington & Lance Morrison - two shows tonight at the BAKED POTATO in Studio City (see post below for more info).... (UPDATE: As those who were there know, it was a bit different than the usual Volto! show, with CHRIS ROY playing bass for Lance.)
BMB
There are two birthdays in the Tool family today. Birthday cheers to Tool video co-producer, Robyn Breen-Shinn.
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NO, not D.C., he's my favorite drummer (though a pretty damn good barkeep) - it's JOE who consistently pours my favorite distillations (and all for wooden 'nickels'). Birthday greetings from Aunt Camella & Adam... from Ma, Nick and Sara... from all your friends with their gooey chili-cheese fries fingers, and the entire Tool family. Oh, and let's not forget Ichiban and some assorted tropical fish. See you later for some birthday cheers!, and hopefully Dan's working on those Tull tickets.
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Remember my news post back on April 20th? The one with the photo of a tranquil Caribbean sunset and thatched shade palapa awaiting those relaxing souls (with or without a Corona)? Of course you do. Well, as I said back then: Good things are coming... Be patient... Don't speculate or over analyze. Don't search the message boards for rumors or look for this on anyone's Myspace page... Just know that good things are coming (albeit under easy sail)... So, to reiterate,... just relax...
photo by MJK
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Call 818-980-1615 after 7:00 PM for advanced tickets. And don't forget that John Ziegler and THE HUPCAP CORRAL will have their MONDAY NIGHT JAMMMZ going on August 18th. We hope to see you there!
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Here's a better photo of the Dark Knight opening stage set-up that featured the SYNESTHESIA CORP's MANDALA DRUM/TRIGGER. Looks like some pretty nice analog modular synths as well.
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RIGHT IN TWO
Angels on the sideline.
Puzzled and amused.
Why did daddy give these humans free will?
Now they're all confused.
Don't these talking monkeys know that Eden has enough to around?
Plenty in this holy garden,
Silly monkeys, where there's one you're bound to divide it right in two.
Angels on the sideline.
Baffled and confused.
Father blessed them all with reason.
And this is what they choose?
Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground.
Silly monkeys. Give them thumbs, they forge a blade,
and where there's one they're bound to divide it right in two.
Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground...
Silly monkeys Give them thumbs, they make a club to beat their brother down.
How they've survived so divided is a mystery.
Repugnant is a creature who would squander his ability to lift an eye to heaven,
conscious of his fleeting time here.
Gotta divide it all right in two.
Fight till they die over sun, over sky
They fight till they die over sea, over air
They fight till they die over blood, over love,
They fight till they die over words, polarizing.
Angels on the sideline again.
Benched along with patience and reason.
Angels on the sideline again.
Wondering when this tug of war will end.
WORDS
By
MAYNARD JAMES KEENAN
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Our good friend VINCE DE FRANCO and the SYNESTHESIA CORP recently released an EZ VERSION of the MANDALA DRUM SOFTWARE for beginners as well as numerous professional presets for the program "BATTERY 3" (like DANNY uses), so that now beginners, intermediate, and professionals are all covered. As reviewed in the current (SEPTEMBER) issue of MODERN DRUMMER, Vince's brainchild has "out-of-this-world possibilities and provides priceless inspiration." More HERE . The mandala website has also been updated with some nice little features, including a news page with a blog and a daily news pipe that filters stories of interest, as well as a forward thinking section .
Hans Zimmer and James Newton Howard playing the MANDALA at the DARK KNIGHT PREMIERE in New York.
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Tool tour master chef, KIWI CHRIS MITCHELL... (Danny drumroll, please)... is getting married to his lady love CHELSEA tomorrow (August 8, 2008). Congratulations, love, a Stella or two, and much support from JUSTIN, SHELEE, and the entire Tool Family! Wonder who's doing the catering?
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John Ziegler and company will be providing MONDAY NIGHT JAMMMZ at THE BAKED POTATO jazz club in Studio City. Bring an instrument and join in, or just enjoy the performance with an enormous stuffed baked potato and your favorite distillation. The guys usually get started around 9:30ish.
THE BAKED POTATO
3787 CAHUENGA BLVD., WEST
STUDIO CITY, CA. 91604
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Whether it was a Green Demon, scotch on the rocks, or a Pabst Blue Ribbon, Danny was in excellent form as the guest bartender at the Silverlake CHA CHA LOUNGE last Monday night. Actually, we both had a great time, and perhaps will do it again sometime. BTW, the Cha Cha also happens to be the home of the world's strangest vending machine. Check it out next time you're there - there was even some signed Tool stuff in it the other night! (Note: I posted a couple more photos of D.C. at work in the ToolArmy PHOTO ALBUMS under "Lightside")
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Here's some news from artist Chet Zar: "I have just posted a new limited edition print, "When Worlds Collide", by my father, artist James Zar. It is a portrait he painted of the two of us a few months back and I thought it would make a great print. I was right. The prints really came out looking beautiful. The edition is limited to 50 and signed and numbered by James himself. It is printed on high quality Epson Velvet Fine Art Paper. The size is 13x16.5" and the price is $50 plus shipping. You can purchase HERE. On another note: this piece inspired a father/son exhibition James and I will be having together in May of 2009 at L'Imagerie gallery. More info on that in the near future..."
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Unless something changes (as they sometimes do!), it looks like DANNY and I will be guest bartenders at the SILVERLAKE CHA CHA LOUNGE this MONDAY NIGHT (JULY 28). Most likely we'll be making a couple of specialty drinks, such as my "Crisis Cocktail", and maybe one of the "Crowley Cups." Possibly even a "Brain Hemorrhage" if they've got pear schnapps. I'm not sure about any exact times at this point, but it will probably be later in the evening, and only for an hour or so at a time. If anything changes, or I get some more info, I'll be sure to let you know. And while we're making those drinks (hopefully playing some Tool tunes as well), somewhere in a dark corner, others will be doing some silkscreen printing for you. For more about this, check out the flyer below.
UPDATE - Looks like Crisis Cocktails and Green Demons (Danny style) after 10:00 PM. We hope to see you there.
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Keyboard virtuoso SCOTT KINSEY will be performing tonight at THE BAKED POTATO (3787 Cahuenga Blvd, West, Studio City, Ca. 91604) - your last chance to see him play live until September. Featuring sax great Steve Tavaglione, Jimmy Earl on bass, and drummer Gary Novak, the show starts at 9:30. If you're into experimental fusion jazz, and REALLY great experimental fusion jazz, you won't want to miss this!
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As Sirius rises, birthday greetings to Justin's lady from the entire Tool family, and a big CHEERS with this Stella (it is noon, after all). Got to love that 23!
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VOLTO!'s Kirk Covington will be performing with his band CAPTAIN KIRK at the LA VE LEE jazz club on Wednesday July 23. For more information about this show, please go to www.laveleejazzclub.com.
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The band's good friends ISIS will be playing two shows in Chicago this weekend. One at a club called "Subterranean" on SATURDAY night the 26th, and headlining a FREE! outdoor festival in "Wicker Park" called the "Wicker Park Festival" on SUNDAY the 27th. Additional info about the free Sunday show HERE
In other Isis-related news, drummer AARON HARRIS recently played on, engineered, and mixed a record for a band called "ZOZOBRA." The record comes out AUGUST 5th on HYDRAHEAD RECORDS, but you can pre order it HERE and hear samples of it HERE
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After going to the Silverlake CHA CHA LOUNGE tonight (6-9) to help Juvenile Diabetes Research (2375 GLENDALE BLVD), there's... VOLTO!
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No, it's not what you're thinking... Tool's good friend, artist MARK STEGER of OSSEUS LABYRINT (you might recall that the duo performed live with the band and appeared in the "Schism" video) recently completed a shoot for the first HEROES web episodes, playing a cold blooded killer in "GOING POSTAL" (it "felt natural?, Mark added). Here's a LINK to satisfy your curiosity.
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Sub-Chthonian revels ... Transplutonian echoes... the din of the endomatrix? Available JULY 22, the latest album by LUSTMORD on Hydra Head Records. Featuring guest appearances by King Buzzo (Melvins), Aaron Turner (Isis) and some chap going by the name ADAM JONES...
Track-list:
1. Testament
2. Element
3. Godeater
4. Dark Awakening
5. Ash
6. Of Eons
7. Prime [Aversion]
8. Er Ub Us
ARTWORK BY ADAM JONES
For those interested there is a limited shirt and hoodie available until July 17th with pre-orders.
LINKS:
Direct pre-order purchase LINK
Direct iTunes LINK
Lustmord SITE
Lustmord MySpace
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On WEDNESDAY, JULY 16, the SILVERLAKE CHA CHA LOUNGE will donate $2.00 for every drink purchased during HAPPY HOUR (6-9 PM) to THE JUVENILE DIABETES RESEARCH FOUNDATION. For those of you who would like to donate, but aren't able to join us at the Cha Cha, here's another way to help:
This August, Camella's sister Debbie and her son Nick (one of the stars of the Tool newsletter for May!) will be taking part in the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation's Ride to Cure Diabetes in Asheville, NC along with hundreds of other Riders across the country. Their goal: To raise $3.2 million to help fund research for a cure for type 1 diabetes and its complications. As Debbie notes in her email: "Many people think type 1 diabetes can be controlled by insulin. While insulin does keep people with type 1 diabetes alive, it is NOT a cure. Aside from the daily challenges of living with type 1 diabetes, there are many severe, often fatal, complications caused by the disease. That's the bad news... and yes, it's pretty bad. The good news, though, is that a cure for type 1 diabetes is within reach. In fact, JDRF funding and leadership is associated with most major scientific breakthroughs in type 1 diabetes research to date. And JDRF funds a major portion of all type 1 diabetes research worldwide, more than any other charity. Please visit my Ride Web Page if you would like to donate online or see how close I am to reaching my personal goal. Follow this link to make a donation." Thank you for your support!
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VOLTO!'s JOHN ZIEGLER has a new project - a "sonic/improv group" called "THE ZETETICS", and they're performing TONIGHT (WEDNESDAY, JULY 9th) at THE BAKED POTATO in Studio City. As usual, the band features some great musicians: JOEL TAYLOR, ARLAN SCHIERBAUM, and PAUL ILL. Some analog synth action!
Also, a friendly reminder that VOLTO! (DANNY CAREY, JOHN Z, KIRK COVINGTON and LANCE MORRISON) will be playing at the LA VE LEE JAZZ CLUB on JULY 16 (12514 Ventura Blvd., Studio City, CA. 91604 - 818-980-8158). We hope to see you there!
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I can't help but wonder if they're selling many alien suckers (i.e. lollipops) on main street during the 61st anniversary 'celebration' of the Roswell incident? If it's anything like the circus back in 1997, then I must say that the "if you talk, we'll kill you and your whole family" powers that be did one helluva job (seriously)! Hopefully they at least finally put some multicolored lights on that colossal silver water tower (i.e. mothership) in the middle of town, cuz, as incredible as it may seem, they missed that durning the 50th bash.
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Birthday greetings to that incarnation of a tulku (Dalai Lama) who has turned 73 if I'm not mistaken. Cheers with a jar of frothy chhaang as shiny as the flugelrads enwreathed in mist, and watch out for those damned bockhockids on your special day.
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Under the heading of "it's about time", DAILY GRAIL PUBLISHING has recently re-issued "MESSENGERS OF DECEPTION: UFO CONTACTS AND CULTS" by DR. JACQUES VALLEE, one of the most original, thought-provoking, and controversial books on the UFO phenomenon ever written. First published in 1979, Vallee's warning of some of the more darker aspects of contactee cults as part of a hidden global agenda or "control system" for social conditioning of the contactees, and by extension, of popular culture itself, was not only painstaking researched, but remarkably prophetic in light of that which has (unfortunately) transpired in the years since its original publication. As one of the leading investigators in ufology, with growing examples of 'alien' contact incidents in the 1970s, Vallee embarked on a strange pilgrimage, infiltrating numerous of the more fringe, overlooked, and dangerous UFO groups whose messengers and belief systems led him to an alarming conclusion about the modus operandi of those behind the deception. Included were the H.I.M. movement that later underwent a tragic metamorphosis into the suicide cult known as "Heaven's Gate", Claude Vorilhon's "Raelians" with their unsettling ideas of genetic research and racial purity, and some of the key players of what other researchers have come to call "The Stargate Conspiracy" - that involving psychotronic weapons and behavior modification as part of the murky world of military psyops and political intrigue. However, as important as Vallee's hypothosis regarding the actual deception and its future implications to the cultural evolution of the planet is, perhaps the most salient point with regards to the UFO phenomenon as a whole, is that we be made aware of the motivations of those manipulating the continuing observations of something otherworldly for their own interests "before the myth of extraterrestrial revelation replaces belief in the rational acquisition of knowledge." ORDER NOW from AMAZON US or AMAZON UK
I would also like to remind those who are interested that DAILY GRAIL PUBLISHING has recently released a new HARDCOVER EDITION of my book, IJYNX (Blair MacKenzie Blake), and copies of this "Grand Dreaming of a Treasured Eye" can also be ordered via AMAZON US or AMAZON UK
In addition to these books, I'm pleased to report that DARKLORE VOL 2 is currently in preparation and should be available soon!
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If you're fortunate enough to be paying the gas prices here in L.A., there's still time to pack up your guitar and join in on the MONDAY NIGHT JAMMMZ at THE BAKED POTATO in STUDIO CITY (3787 Cahuenga Blvd., West, Studio City, CA. 91604). JZ's "HUBCAP CORRAL" usually take the stage around 9:30 to 10:00ish, and then after their first set, the party really starts. Like I always say, you never know who's going to show up and jam!
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Present a valid gas receipt today and get two free tacos (imitation beef extract and all) at Jack in the Box. I believe this might just be the first sign... of the end times touched upon in certain eschatological writings. If you don't believe me, just try typing the phrase "jack in the Box tacos" into a java applet anagram generator and see what comes up. The disturbing phrase "atheist jack box con" is only one of many telling things - there are plenty more for those who have the time to search...
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TOOL NEWSLETTER
JUNE, 2008 e.v.
(EIGHT-YEAR ANNIVERSARY EDITION)
For my 8-year anniversary of the Toolband.com/Toolarmy.com newsletter, rather than explore a possible connection between the massacre at Oradour-sur-Glane in France in June of 1944 and a legendary hijacked treasure associated with the mystery surrounding Rennes-le-Chateau, let's see what the band members are up to these days, for certainly that must take precedence. Admittedly there isn't much, but in these 'down times', what would even the most fanatical Toolie expect? With that said, here goes:
From what I've been able to discern, ADAM is currently working at home on some entertainment industry-related project that at present I'm not at liberty to discuss. I also noticed some construction at an undisclosed spot that might or might not be an indication of some future band-related endeavor, the revealment of which (or any hints as to its exact nature) would not be beneficial to my position as content manager of this website. When not engaged in these closely-guarded activities, he has been spending time with Camella and their pets, collecting unusual pieces of art, attending L.A. Dodgers games with friend "Buzz" Osborne (now that the NBA finals are over), and playing Halo 3, of which the last time I glanced at the screen he was 'infected' I believe was the term, although I'm not at all certain by what, nor if he has recently managed to overcome this possible life-threatening (?) affliction.
As for Danny, he, too, is currently spending considerable time in his loft/studio, possibly gearing up for some music-related enterprise under the seal of secrecy and in tandem with things hidden from mortal vision. Other activities include performing with Volto!, listening to his good friends perform live fusion jazz in local clubs, collecting vintage synths and guitars, driving his Lamborghini, painting his house in a Southwestern color scheme, spending quality time with Rynne, Levi and Pharaoh and, dare I say (sotto voce, of course) working on a book with a friend whose interests include the more obscure aspects of western esotericism, although this undertaking is only known at the present time in realms supersensible (having taken great measures to see that it remains so). Equally behind the veil are plans to finally (omitted), but more about that later.
Justin continues to build a home on his new property located in some dark corner, capturing rattlesnakes in the process and relocating them to a place any divulgation of which would not be prudent on the talebearer's behalf. Besides working on new Tool riffs, he may also be working on another musical project, but if so, it's happening in private (when not on the stage at Abuelitas in Topanga Canyon that is). He also has closed the doors of Shelee and his odd emporium, Lobal Orning, but plans too revamp the associated website at some point in the very near future.
Which brings us to Maynard. Other than things told to me in strict confidence, there is currently no major denouement from MJK other than that posted on his "Puscifer" website, Myspace page and those communicated via other internet avenues (i.e. Caduceus wine-related ventures). However, to those who wait with bated breath for such things, if any exciting new information should come my way, I will post it at once. In the meantime, although this is merely speculation on my part, he has probably got a few (dozen) things in the works, though hopefully taking care of those pipes of his.
As a unit, the band members also have plans to complete a couple of new projects. Unfortunately, however, these are both irrevealable at the present time, although one of their attorneys (name withheld) tells me that one of these 'intrigues' is very close to becoming a reality. So, there you have it...
CORNHOLE TOURNAMENT PLAY ON THE SUMMER SOLSTICE
Of course not everything in the world of TOOL is a supreme mystery. On the summer solstice (June 20), members of TEAM TOOL (Danny Carey & A Jones [in this case, the A standing for Adam's brother Alan] squared off against members of TEAM ISIS (Aaron Harris & Cliff Meyer) in a best of three series of "Cornhole" on the Tool team's home court layout. Although Harris and Meyer were more experienced at this corn toss game, Carey and Jones managed to win two out of three contests using official ACA regulations. Much to the amazement of all those in attendance, the score of the second match was 24-0 (well, perhaps the regulations were bent a bit), with several 'Wilmans' tossed by both players! It should perhaps be noted that TEAM ISIS did manage to defeat Adam and myself in an earlier game, despite an exciting zitch towards the end. It also should be noted that earlier in the week, possibly being fluke in light of the numbers of beers consumed by both sides!, TEAM TOOLARMY (BMB & MERCH) took two out of three games against TEAM ISIS (some pretty damn good corn pitchers!), mainly due to Merch being able to stick all four bags on the raised platform several times, and 3 bags simultaneously going through the hole on the last series of tosses.
IJYNX HARDCOVER ON AMAZON.COM (ADVERTISEMENT)
Being that it is the 8-year anniversary of my newsletter (sort of), it would be irresponsible of me not to mention that a new HARDCOVER of my book IJYNX put out by DAILY GRAIL PUBLISHING is now available from Amazon.com (both Amazon U.S. and U.K.) The current edition contains LOTS of new material, including two additional prose-poems concerning REALLY esoteric Freemasonry entitled "The Jewel of Divine Anthropophagy" and "A Cornucopiae Between Compasses" with lengthy commentaries to both, an author's foreword to the new edition, additional footnotes, different type-setting and layout, and even a somewhat new front and cover design. Kudos to editor Greg Taylor for producing the book the way I originally envisioned it! (as well as for having the courage to publish such an against-the-grain peculiarity!). To ORDER a copy, click HERE FOR THE U.S. or HERE FOR THE U.K.
IJYNX
By
BLAIR MacKENZIE BLAKE
"Incorporating a magical vocabulary and nightside symbolism, IJYNX is a unique collection of occult prose-poems by an author who has been studying, experimenting, and writing about the western esoteric tradition for over twenty years. While some of the mystical verses attempt to convey ritually-machined hyperdimensions of consciousness (including encounters with the trans-mundane entities that inhabit these parallel continua), others contain, rather inexplicably, detailed knowledge of a higher Arcanum involving the alchemical entelechy of the dead. And still others challenge even the author's initiated interpretation of things perceived in the ontological spectrum of a 'Magizoth', other than to suggest, upon a closer examination of the cryptic word play, that they are anti-apotropaic in nature, and offer, at the very least, rare fleeting glimpses of the Grand Dreaming of a Treasured Eye."
photo by Rynne Stump
HAPPY TRAILS!
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Congratulations from JUSTIN and SHELEE to Justin's sister, Katherine and hubby Paul on the birth of their new baby boy, Charlie! Welcome to the machine, Charlie, and I'm sure they look forward to corrupting you.
Also, just in case you didn't know, after five years of serving Topanga Canyon and parts of the world without rattlesnakes, Justin and Shelee have CLOSED their shop "LOBAL ORNING", although they do plan on revamping the website (www.lobalorning.com) with lots of "cool stuff" sometime in August. We'll keep you posted.
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TOOL NEWSLETTER
MAY 2008 e.v.
CONTINUED FROM THE TOOL NEWSLETTER, MAY 2007 e.v.
[...A few kilometers further up the road soldiers brandishing machine guns stop us. As a couple of them approach the car, I pick up my copy of the Grimoire of Pope Honorius III and turn to a page with an enchantment against firearms: To make a gun misfire, say the following words: "Abla, Got, Bata, Bata, Bleu... Now I wish I had purchased the bottle of Holy Water back at the town with the dogs with the mange, scabs and rot. And I believe I saw another spell to avoid an interrogation. It's either that or maybe give them the CD with the Mexican pop artist. Damn those Tool enthusiasts with all their nasty e-mails saying they won't rest until the curse is formally removed. What, is rodeo season over already! I still haven't tried a mysterious salty hamburguesa. Astral Kat suddenly appears with a traveler (margarita): "Looks like a cliffhanger, ay?"]
A couple of the soldiers peer into our car and then with deadpan expressions gesture that we turistas are free to continue on to their soon-to-be newest 7 Wonders of the World (beating out the Sydney Opera House I predict to Kat in the plano astral) where something FAR... FAR... FAR more menacing awaits us. Closing the dreaded grimoire, I suddenly realize that the most likely explanation for the soldiers' presence is that we are now crossing from Quintana Roo into the Mexican state of Yucatan. The corpse in the brush alongside the road was probably just a coincidence if, in fact, it wasn't a Semana Santa/Pascua hunt involving a farmer who fed crayons to his chickens. Either way, this is all good, as I certainly don't want my research of the behavior patters of leaf-cutter ants to go to waste (the book being much better than the four-minute movie). Smiling at the armed soldiers, we denizens of Arguelles' technosphere proceed with less than transdimensional travel down the sun-dappled road towards the ruins of the famous Mayan temple city of Chichen Itza.
ZONA ARQUEOLOGICA CHICHEN ITZA
Parking our poor ponies under a shady tree, we are anxious to check out the elaborate temple city of the feathered solar decoders. Although we have come to marvel over the spectacular feats of ancient engineering, before we can get to a single piece of rubble, not to mention any confusing occult cartoons or other revelatory puzzles codified in stone, we, of course, are accosted by shimmering hordes of souvenir peddlers - those prisoners of the terrestrial envelope with their own brand of harmonic calibrations. "What the hell happened to the Thirteen Heavens" I wonder as Danny and I purchase for "almost free!" a couple of low grade tee shirts colorfully emblazoned with all kinds of astronomical witchery and the promise of transcendent realms.
I understand that these persistent fellows are here at the behest of the Mayan avatars of a galactic federation, and at first their ornamental trifles are somewhat amusing, but after so much of the exact same crap being pushed on us for "almost free!", one can't help but wonder if the hawker bio-circuitry isn't receiving a garbled dispatch from the stellar core (Hunab Ku?), making any cosmic/geological catastrophe such as the 2012 end date/transition not too damn terrifying. "Alright, one more ceramic jaguar... wait, make that a heart-devouring eagle, and then let's get on with resonant attunement, shall we?... Shit, had I known that Taj Mahal wasn't just a pretty good premium Lager, I would have taken my business there!"
After paying the nominal entrance fee, amid the shrill birdcall and steamy jungle cacophony (kind of-sort of), we go directly to what is considered by many to be the greatest of all Mayan Temples. This is the imposing, much photographed pyramid-calendar known as El Castillo, with its steep staircases now roped off I suppose to prevent any further calamities at the jewel-encrusted altar of its terraced platforms by enlightened wizard kings or richly-feathered sorcerers, but mostly to keep the gringos down on the well-kept grounds by those laden with "almost free!" wooden knick-knacks. Making my way to the North staircase where at times a natural phenomenon of sunlight and shadow project the illusion of an enormous undulating serpent, I tell myself that I must come back on some completely overcast Vernal (spring) Equinox (yep, due to the peddler swarm). After examining this further example of Mayan astronomical prowess, next, it's on to The Plaza of a Thousand Pillars. One... Two... Three... (a lacuna)... Nine hundred and ninety-eight... Nine hundred and ninety-nine... One thousand ... some with faded painted carvings and oodles of mystical doodles.
The Temple of Warriors lies ahead, but it's now getting very hot and humid, and even with all these galleries and colonnades a certain girl from Texas tells me that she is getting tired and would like to rest. A leisurely stroll to the edge of the Great Cenote (Sacred Well of Sacrifice) ought to cheer her up I would imagine.
As we approach the brink of the large circular limestone sinkhole where beautiful maidens were once cast into the slimy water by cruel priests to propitiate the angry gods, I see that Adam, Camella, and Kevin Willis are also peering down at it. The inscription on the plaque of the sacrificial well mentions that numerous artifacts including obsidian knives, copal, gold, and bowls of jadeite were once recovered from its Stygian darkness, but barely touches on the fact that among these offerings were lots of human bones, mostly of young maidens. What an enigma the Maya were, I think to myself, what with all the frozen mathematics of their gleaming metropolis, these mediators of the sun... these diviners of harmony had somehow mistook the reflections of those standing above the cenote (i.e. themselves!) as being those people, priests, and gods who inhabited its murky green depths... those whom they were attempting to appease via offerings of treasure and human lives. Perhaps there is something more to the story of the terrible cenote, something that escaped the reports of de Landa and the others. Again, perhaps one needs an esoteric interpretation of the complex pageantry and macabre scenography involving the Mayas' ritual murder and Xibalban deities to fully understand the gruesome legends.
But this will have to wait as some of us are hot and tired and want to seek refuge in the closest cafeteria. Recalling the popular song by "The Pussycat Dolls", I begin to sing to a low voice "Don't you wish your girlfriend was stuck in a cenote..." And speaking of the galactic beam, they're back. Droves of hawkers with the exact same things for "almost free!" To these eager providers of mosaic jaguar masks and miniature walls of skulls (tzompantli), I explain that I would be happy to negotiate for a tee shirt with the unicode for the 'NO' symbol involving a bottle of mescal (with worm). I attempt to describe this - in my eye, the greatest of all tourist goods: "A bottle of mescal (with worm) with a diagonal line through it... A bottle of mescal (with worm) displayed in a circle with a red slash across it..." but all to no avail. Again, the mosaic jaguar mask is pushed on me for "almost free!" even though I know that they're now going to go and manufacture that tee shirt.
Glancing up at the scorching sun, I'm tempted to sing that it's a beautiful day for a ballgame. I'd sure like to have a look at that masonry ball court (the largest in Mesoamerica) before we succumb to the harmonic calibrations of a microwave oven in the cafeteria, but even Kevin Willis is now complaining about the f***ing heat! Still, Adam, Camella, Danny, Rynne, Jose, Nick, Willis, Matt, and I head towards the vertical walls with their stone rings where hundreds of spectators once passionately enjoyed a sport that is believed to have many similarities with today's game of basketball (if so, I'll bet a cup of the watered-down balche was damn expensive!). Looking around the court, I try to imagine what it might have been like all those centuries ago: To the sound of cheers and conch shell trumpets, Mayan kings in all their marine-shell finery (yes, there were even luxury boxes for the elite and Jack Nicholson types) wash spicy green peanuts down with an intoxicating beverage as the players attempt to knock a solid rubber ball through the scoring rings with their heavily-padded hips and forearms. And of course there must have been bad officiating... and gambling.
While taking some photos of Danny pretending to 'posterize' an opponent (with recently torn bicep and all!), due to the structure's mysterious acoustics, I very clearly perceive a faint voice with numerous echoes (nine, I believe I counted). The voice of this still unexplained sound-reflection is not coming from the ghost of some ornately-feathered Mayan king... nor is it the whisper from the spirit of a skilled Pok-a-Tok player. It doesn't even emanate (remarkably enough) from a souvenir peddler hawking his wares. It is from someone who is hot and tired, and wants to rest for a bit in the cafeteria. However, before leaving, we search for the bas-reliefs of the losing players (some suggest, rather, the captain of the victors) being decapitated. But what if the scholars and aficionados of Maya culture have it all wrong? Suppose that the elaborate rituals that accompanied the matches (including a ritual beheading) involved a luminous violet-tinged alchemical substance that was associated with the true 'galactic' sojourners - an endogenous tryptamine, perhaps, the potency of which a beating heart was detrimental to. How's that for a crackpot notion?
Danny and Rynne are checking out the domelike astronomical observatory (El Caracol) used by those Maya Priests who were versed in the night script. This is the misshapen structure made famous by von Daniken's ancient astronaut books, and something that I definitely want to see. Meanwhile we're having nuked pepperoni pizza, hamburgers and Cokes in the cafeteria. Danny is making Venus observations in the enchanted jungle green and I might as well be at Buzzy's Pizza circus in Victorville. Sinister Xibalbans! My mood changes, however, when a rested LaraLee tells me that Adam appeared to be amazed by the attention to detail while examining the diorama of Chichen Itza in its museum. There, among the sprawling grounds, was a realistic depiction of the fossilized remains of a winged creature nearly as large as some of the more impressive structures on the site. This monstrous thing turned out to be the one they call mariposa nocturna, an ordinary moth that managed to get trapped inside the diorama where it was now in the latter stages of decomposition - something that Adam (and LaraLee) knew damn well. Nevertheless, it was a nice try on his part, and I get a good laugh out of it.
I leave Chichen Itza having seen many wonderful things - imposing structures whose architecture involved stellar alighnments and fractual calendrics, an eerie cenote of dark legends, and masonry ball court with its enigmatic carvings of ancient pageantry. There were feathered serpent columns, terrifying stone visages, and mosaic jaguar masks, even a pretty good mysterious salty hamburguesa. About the only thing that I didn't see was the parade of leaf-cutter ants, although as we walk towards the parking lot, I witness something even better. This was numerous pieces of flowers magically 'floating' down from a ceiba tree onto the verdant jungle floor. Strange!
TULUM
Reaching Tulum, there is still enough sunlight left to hit the palapa bar on Camella's favorite beach. In that there's more to life than examining the glyphs encoded by the Tollanauts on intricately carved stelae, shots of tequila and a round or two of Modelos are ordered. After this much needed ritual, before heading back to the Casa Iguana, we stop at Mezzanine, a boutique hotel/Thai fusion restaurant on the beach near the cliff-top ruins. With items on the menu like duck with spicy tangerine sauce and chipolte-red chicken breast, we order enough to share, even though Jose and Nick are "starving" (not to mention Danny-longlegs). Although the restaurant is modern and clean, the one thing I find strange among the stylish ambience are the signs in the bathroom pleading with its patrons not to flush any tissue in the toilet, but, instead, to place it in a small trash receptacle (so much for Arguelles' technosphere). And speaking of signs, another one lets us know that cigar smokers are welcome. Woohoo! The only problem is that we don't have any, and finding one on the Mayan Riviera at this hour on a Sunday night proves to be extremely difficult. I say this because, following our meal, Danny, Jose, and I embark on a quest that takes us to nearly every beachside resort on the way back to Akumal where at times we come close, but no cigar.
CASA IGUANA, AKUMAL
Probably having should have known what lobster tail flamed with almond tequila leads to, the oceanfront villa is rockin' the way its owners always dreamt it would be. Seated around the pool in Adirondack chairs, we make the most from our provisions purchased from the motorized hippie woman at the "Super Chonak." But while the more responsible of us are chasing shots of what has been described as "Mexico's only legal immigrant" with less than "Superior" beer, film and video artists Adam, Kevin and Matt are amassing tons of stock footage of some phosphorescent insects that the entomologist with the silver Patron and beer easily identifies as a bioluminescent diptera (or similar creature). Heck, everybody knows that. Even dead elephants know that. Even the girl that went missing in Aruba knows that... But what's this! Perhaps having had two too many glasses of Cuban rum mixed with diluted fruit juice, Danny's girl seems to have soured a bit on the Maya. In fact, she seems positively over the diviners of harmony and mediators of the sun, using some choice words to describe them that any self-respecting Mayanist in a khaki vest and straw hat would find absolutely horrifying. Need I remind her that they gave us basketball, Chicklets, and the zero? And if that wasn't enough, a calendar that accurately predicts the end of the world as we know it, along with a science of a higher mind utilizing a galactic synchronization beam. Did I mention Chicklets? Methinks this sudden Maya bashing has something to do with the sun. She probably isn't looking forward to visiting Coba with its MILES of paths between the sprawling ruins in the afternoon heat and humidity. Still, is this any reason to call them_____________________________________________! Well, maybe.
Walking back to my room, as I pass the crumbs of the spilled Pringles, there it is again - that eerie feeling of an unknown presence lurking among the tropical foliage. I think I see something fairly large in the hibiscus and alamana. An iguana perhaps? But as before, the feeling of dread quickly passes, and I climb into bed with Sorror Mystika Dilla. Over the crash of Caribbean surf, and rustling of something in the thatched roof, I hear the drunken laughter of those who are not quite ready to call it a night, until there is only Jose - the last man standing. Presumably hugging a bottle of tequila and beer, I can hear him pacing about, looking for a drinking buddy. Between swigs, in a rather vociferous manner, he calls us all wusses - that blend of wimp and pussy - just for surrendering to inactivity. I'll bet that faux-blonde chica in the bikini on the beer can looks pretty good to him about now... If he keeps it up much longer, he'll be barking at the ants...
APRIL 9
With the morning comes the news of Jose - in the mysterious language of the Zuvuya - talking on the big white telephone. No mere Technicolor yawn, there are numerous witnesses to what is described as sheer pandemonium in the villa's bathroom, the barrage of blue agave eruptions unprecedented for this part of the world with, perhaps, an all- hell-let-loose outcry for every gulp of the creature taken. Of course, deglutition as it might have been, while trolling the void, this is blamed by Jose on something that he ate at the Thai-fusion restaurant, just like everyone who blows chunks after a 3-day drinking binge blames it on a couple of midnight Jack-In-The-Box tacos.
Jose shows little interest in having an ice cold Modelo for breakfast at the palapa bar on one of Akumal's sparkling white sand beaches. I, however, do order one while trying to figure out my best strategy for ordering the chilidog on the menu. The problem is that there's an all-beef hotdog, a hotdog with cheese, and a chilidog that may or may not be all-beef. When the mostly Spanish-speaking waiter returns, I ask him if I can order an all-beef hotdog with some chili on the side? "Is not possible" he tells me. "Okay, then I'll just have an all-beef hotdog." "Do you want chili on it?" he enquires. "Ummm... yes." Then there's something on the menu called "Huitlacoche", with a description that reads: "Considered a delicacy in Mexico. Don't ask what it is, just try it!" I don't know why, but for some reason this calls to mind the dead body that we saw alongside the road to Chichen Itza...
Now it's time to figure out what the plan is for the day. Willis suggests renting a boat to go fishing in the Caribbean, but Jose quickly nixes this. Camella wants us all to go horseback riding to some cavernous cenote. What about chapped thighs, someone asks? While beating his drumsticks on a rubber practice pad (trying to get his bicep back in shape), Danny informs us that Rynne and he are going to explore the ruins at Coba. In that the rest of us already have plans to visit Coba in a couple of days, Adam, Camella, and Matt decide to take a guided tour on horseback to some magical sinkhole. LaraLee and I agree to have a day of leisure - namely staying right here at the palapa bar and drinking. What about chapped thighs, someone asks? Camella suggests that we also go snorkeling because while doing so yesterday she saw a Spotted Eagle Ray, a barracuda, some turtles and eel. Noticing all the ninos wading in the turquoise surf, I can't help but wonder if she also encountered any butt guppies in this kaleidoscope of marine life? Jose still shows little interest in an ice cold can of Modelo, and upon the arrival of my chilidog looks as if he's about to de-food again.
When Danny and Rynne return to the Casa Iguana several hours later, Rynne doesn't seem the least bit frazzled by the heat while walking for what should have been miles of trails connecting the jungle-covered ruins at the archaeological site of Coba. In fact, she seems happy and even invigorated, carrying a couple of bags of groceries from a carniceria in Tulum. Turns out, for about 900 pesos, they hired a bicycle-like conveyance, and had a driver pedal them to the various structures. Ah, human-powered tricycles. Chalk one up for the technosphere. With Willis and I manning the grill, cocktails around the pool, and some night-snorkling, this night at the villa is very similar to the others, except that one of us is now a teetoller.
APRIL 10
I wake up early and hike up to the "Super Chomac" to get a hungover girl from Texas a pack of Marlboro lights and can of Dr. Pepper. When I return, I notice that Adam is cranking out some ZZ Top on his boom box, possibly in honor of a girl from Texas. I can't help but feel a bit sad this morning because LaraLee, Danny and Rynne have to leave later in the afternoon. Still, there's enough time for one more trip to the beach with its shade palapa and excellent selection of "mas cerveza por favor!" Unfortunately, Danny also has his sights set on the beach, wanting to get in some last minute snorkeling. So the question becomes: Will he make it back to the villa in time to pack his stuff, drive the rental car to the Cancun Airport, return the rental and catch his flight home? This is a concern to me as I've arranged for him (and Rynne) to drop off LaraLee at the airport as well, seeing how her flight to Houston leaves around the same time. As the hours go by, nervously smoking cigarette after cigarette by the pool, the girl from Texas becomes convinced that she's going to miss her plane and be stranded in Cancun. Kevin Willis assures her that it will be close, but that "Danny always makes it... He might drive [with unbridled enthusiasm], but he always makes it."
About an hour before his plane is scheduled to depart, Danny and Rynne return from the beach. Checking his watch, Dan figures that he has just enough time to shower and pack his things before heading to the airport (which by my best estimate is about an hour away). Twenty minutes later, Danny and Rynne are ready to go, and, saying our goodbyes, LaraLee climbs into the back seat. As they pull away, Willis' words go through my head: "He always makes it", and I get white-knuckles thinking about what's in store for the girl from Texas.
When they're gone, Willis, Matt and I return to the shade palapa-bar on the beach to fortify ourselves before dinner. Soon those with snorkels arrive, Camella showing us a superb conch shell that she somehow detached from the sea-floor. This calls for shots of Patron all around. Even Jose is back on the horse, only hopefully these aren't "bungie shots" he's doing, and after eating a bunch of lasagna Bolognese served in a coconut shell, he won't be calling Captain Nemo all day tomorrow. But, what's this!.. When the two brothers spot a couple pretty things lying on a beach towel near the sandy cantina, it's Matt who quickly introduces himself, returning many pesos later with a full report. Turns out that the sunbathing honeys are German arms dealers on vacation, and that he's invited them to dinner tonight. Accessing the situation, I tell him that I've never had much luck with German arms dealers, and that it's probably going to be tough to pick up on one, even for a good-looking guy that's the senior VFX artist for "Aliens vs Predator." So far there are no text messages on Camella's Blackberry from LaraLee, so hopefully the pod of dolphins that told me telepathically that she made her flight weren't just f***ing around. Crumbling an empty can of Modelo, I could go for a bit more languor of the tropics, but I left my Panetelas back at the room. It's time to trade in this bar stool for a chaise lounge (or hammock) back at the good old Iguana.
LA BUENA VIDA, NORTH AKUMAL
Instead of making a left on the road in front of the Casa Iguana, for whatever reason we decide to go to the right, and walk into a world that we didn't know existed. This is "Half Moon Bay" (I believe), and "La Buena Vida." In this case, "the good life" is a beach restaurant with the skeleton of an enormous sea serpent above the bar (whose bones Kevin Willis wants us to believe washed ashore during Hurricane Wilma), bar swings, and tree-house-like lookout perches in which buckets of beer are hoisted up to be consumed while one enjoys the magnificent sunset. The menu looks good as well, so we order some of the ubiquitous lime soup and other Yucatecan specialties, finishing them off with flaming coffee drinks made with anisette liqueur and tequila while waiting for at least one of the beautiful frauleins to show up.
CASA IGUANA, AKUMAL
The bulb in my palapa-roofed bedroom has burned out again. Choking to death on fumes of the Pine-Soled wooden floor, while hunting for a book by the dim beam of my violet mini-Maglight, on the bedspread, wasting the precious hours, I see one of the largest cockroaches that I've ever encountered. The girl from Texas would have been terror-stricken. In that the enormous bastard's not even bio-luminescent, with a hiking boot, I mash it into some kind of horrific crème brulee, and save it for Jose if he calls me a wuss later. So far it's been all fun and games, but tomorrow some of us will have their work cut out for them. As 'time tourists', by activating the hyper-circuitry of the Pacal Votan module and aided by my spirit guide Azotochtli, the little digger of the space-time continuum, it will finally be time to lift the "San Antonio Curse" once and for all.
ZONA ARQUELOGICA COBA
APRIL 11
What can I say about Coba? Waterlily-covered lakes in the forests of Quintana Roo. Pyramids, temples, plazas, and ball courts that are for the most part unrestored, with the stone edifices of numerous other mysterious structures still overgrown with jungle. Seated in the back of a human-powered tricycle, I check out the site as scarlet macaw, lizards, and spider monkeys bejewel the lush vegetation. Willis, who once climbed Kilimanjaro in his bathrobe, thinks the bikes are lame, but as the sun climbs higher in the cerulean blue sky he begins to appreciate these comforts of the technosphere. As we are taken to the various ruins, those visitors on foot glare at us with jealous contempt, some uttering unintelligible discord and appearing as if they're about to collapse from the tropical heat. There are no tamarind margaritas and costumed mariachis here (although I'm sure they're coming!), and these fatigued souls know it. After we stop to climb the seven levels of "Nohoch Mul", one of the highest Mayan structures, I, too, feel like I'm about to pass out, and it takes every once of concentration to climb back down the steep staircase without falling. Once in the forest below, however, a bottle of ice-cold water does one wonders.
Next we explore the ominous sloping ball court with carvings depicting Poc-a-Tok players without uniforms. After that, we seek out the chiseled inscriptions of certain stelae lying beneath withering thatched sheds, including one containing the apocalyptic December 21, 2012 A.D. date (even though I am told that Mayan slabs do occasionally show dates beyond the doomsday 2012), looking for a specific harmonic. Eventually we find a deteriorating moss-grown treasure whose complex glyphic text just might record the existence of the esoteric 'black' sun of Maya cosmology. But is this really Arguelles' galactic master-code for DNA shifts or an ancient recipe for fillet of hog-fish? As do some others, we decide that the crumbling stone column encoded by the enigmatic Tollanauts does describe cosmic conjunctions and evolutionary energies, but even with 5-D planetary consciousness at stake, it's f***ing hot, and some of us are ready to head back to the turquoise paradise of Tulum. However, Adam bought his guy a Coke, so he and Camella are taken on the grand tour, which includes those dilapidated wonders that our guy said were uninteresting and insignificant. Actually, the 12-year-old Yucatanean driver's exact words were " Come, gentlemen, we sit too long on trifles." Oh, well, with our work done here, we leave Coba with a new sense of wonder and something that we probably should have left undisturbed. (Note: Oddly enough, on the way to Tulum we stop at a roadside shack to purchase some Mayan handicrafts, and there's astral Kat).
TULUM
Back at our favorite watering hole, once again we are eating the bread of idleness when Camella receives a text message on her Blackberry that changes the cheerful mood. Evidently Danny doesn't ALWAYS make it. Turns out that he missed his flight, although he was able to catch another a couple of hours later. Not so for LaraLee, who was stranded in Cancun for the night due to the lack of flights going to Houston. It is evident from the tone of the message that she is pissed. Her reply to my earlier text message about seeing the cockroach in the bedroom lets me know in no uncertain terms that her experience (or nightmare as she put it) "was much worse than seeing a cockroach !!!" Reading this, I glance over at Camella and ask if she thinks I should reply with "You didn't see the size of this cockroach." She tells me that, given the circumstances, this probably isn't such a great idea, so I decide not to poke the hornets' nest with a stick, and hope for the best.
CASA IGUANA, AKUMAL
I walk into the living room where Willis, Jose and Nick are watching a B-movie that shows some ridiculous-looking ants terrorizing an office building. For whatever reason I ask Willis how the ants got so big, and he explains that they ate some Pringles that were spilled in the grass. PRINGLES? Are you shitting me! I think about the new-fangled potato crisps that Jose or someone spilled by my bedroom, and of the assortment of somewhat oversized critters that I'd encountered over the past week. I also think about the feeling of dread that I experienced at times... and suddenly I wonder if there might be something much more formidable lying in wait. Heading back to my room, with my violet mini-Maglight, and some trepidation I turn in for what turns out to be a restless night.
APRIL 12
As sure as the fact that the cremated ashes of the inventor of the Pringles can are contained inside a Pringles can, when I awake the next morning and step barefoot outside, there sitting on the doorstep is the object of my worse nightmare. With my disbelieving eyes riveted on it, I freeze on the spot, too temporarily paralyzed with fear to react, or find a weapon. All I can do is stare at it as it sits there, silent and still in the hot morning sun. It looks like a giant wolf-spider... or is it a vinegaroon? This arachniphobe has never seen anything like it. Is it some kind of tropical bugaboo stirred up by hurricane Wilma! My God, what have we done? Even though time machines don't really just run on plutonium and biofuels, we should have never removed anything from the ruins at Coba. Can somebody tell me that this thing isn't really here!
Eventually I manage to get Jose's attention, and point at the monster. "Oh yeah, I saw that earlier" he says nonchalantly and starts to walk away. Moments later, Adam comes over and starts playing with the damn thing, jumping back as it scurries towards him with lightning speed, nearly crawling up his leg and into the colorful swimming trunks were he keeps his balls. In all the commotion, a Mexican gardener wanders over and, seeing the creature, says "Las arenas!", attempting to explain to Adam in broken English that it is indeed poisonous, and, if bitten, can turn one's flesh black. With this in mind, soon Adam and Matt carefully gather up the impressive specimen, holding it captive in a cocktail blender where they can digitally film it from every conceivable angle. An hour or so later, when they finally release it back into the wild, I watch with horrified fascination as it moves with lightning-like speed right into the waiting pink mouth of a large iguana that Willis had earlier been feeding leftover grilled fajita steak... The thing's not so tough, I think, and let out a triumphant laugh. However, the brief feeling of overwhelming peace and tranquility is shattered by terrible news from home...
While packing for our late afternoon flights back to Los Angeles, Camella gets a message that something is wrong with her beloved Great Dane, Diablo. According to those who were taking care of it, his leg is oozing puss from some type of wound, and it's now getting worse. Having taken it to the emergency room at the animal hospital, the vet thinks that it might be cancer, is planning on doing a biopsy. From the description of the wound, it sounds to me like a Brown Recluse spider bite*. At first Camella doesn't want to hear this, but it is, after all, better than cancer. Either way, she decides to take an earlier flight with Adam back to Los Angeles.
T. G. I. FRIDAYS, CANCUN AIRPORT
Adam has convinced his wife that Diablo will be all right, and that there's nothing that she can do until they get back home. With this and other reassurances, her spirit has brightened a bit, and the overall mood is one of sending out positive vibes. Over Cheesy Bacon Cheeseburgers, Adam and Matt proudly show a growing assemblage of bemused Mexican waiters photos of the creature in their cameras' display screens. (Note: Research later confirmed the thing to be not a spider, but a tailless Mexican scorpion). With dessert comes an announcement of our flight status. Soon it will be time to leave the Mayan Riviera, and head back home where it will be time to navigate the river of time like those galactic sojourners, the Maya. In this way, armed with a pocket edition of the Grimoire of Pope Honorius III, and its very effective counter-spells not to be performed by the fearful, we might just be able to remove a curse that occurred in San Antonio's Freeman Coliseum on November 12, 2002 after a fire in the band's dressing room prompted venue officials to require the guys to pay several thousand dollars in damages.
* I was right with my diagnosis. Diablo had been bit by a Brown Recluse spider - the first time their vet had seen a case in over twenty years of practice. Treated with antibiotics, steroids, and love, the wound eventually healed and "boy" can still sometimes be seen with sister "Tesla" around happy hour at the "Fox & Hounds" pub in Studio City.
photo of the creature by Matt Santoro
HAPPY TRAILS
BMB
Here's some good news: When Danny and I went to hear "Sturgeon" play at a small club last Saturday night, after examining the hand recently treated for infection from a sea-urchin puncture in the light hanging over a pool table, he proclaimed it healed (choosing a rather unorthodox way of announcing this). Although there is still some numbness from the last surgery, it appears that all's well, and that he should be ready to perform with VOLTO! on July 16th. This also means that he's that much closer to getting back to jamming with his day-job band. Good news indeed!
BMB
For those who are interested, DAILY GRAIL PUBLISHING as recently published a NEW HARDCOVER EDITION of my book "IJYNX" (108 pages) available EXCLUSIVELY through AMAZON.COM (both U.S. and U.K.) The current edition contains lots of new material, including new verses with lengthy commentaries, a new author's foreword, additional footnotes, different type-setting and layout, and even a somewhat new front and back cover design. Editor Greg Taylor has done a great job making the current edition look the way that I had always envisioned it, and I want to personally thank him for that (as well as for having the courage to publish such an against-the-grain peculiarity).
Click HERE TO ORDER A COPY IN THE U.S., or HERE IN THE U.K.
IJYNX
by
BLAIR MacKENZIE BLAKE
"Incorporating a magical vocabulary and nightside symbolism, IJYNX is a unique collection of occult prose-poems by an author who has been studying, experimenting, and writing about the western esoteric tradition for over twenty years. While some of the mystical verses attempt to convey ritually-machined hyperdimensions of consciousness (including encounters with the trans-mundane entities that inhabit these parallel continua), others contain, rather inexplicably, detailed knowledge of a higher Arcanum involving the alchemical entelechy of the dead. And still others challenge even the author's initiated interpretation of things perceived in the ontological spectrum of a 'Magizoth', other than to suggest, upon a closer examination of the cryptic word play, that they are anti-apotropaic in nature, and offer, at the very least, rare fleeting glimpses of the Grand Dreaming of a Treasured Eye."
BMB
Seeing how the opening of this show was such a good time, Travis has decided to do it again with the closing.
BMB
"Today Marks the 5 year anniversary of Judith Marie's surrender to a 29 year struggle against time and gravity. Take a moment to count your blessings. Remind yourself that life is short. (In Judith's case, long and painful.) Take a deep breath and allow the petty stuff to disintegrate into dust and blow away. It's all gonna work out. Judith's last wishes were that her final resting place be near me. So I brought her ashes to my home in Arizona and spread her across the South East facing slope so every morning she could watch the sunrise with me. Like the Phoenix rising from the ashes, her new wings are these estate vines. And like her, these vines are tenacious, vigorous, stubborn, and the fruit is sexy and complex. I'm going to name this wine "Nagual del Judith, Judith's Cabernet Sauvignon." Now she gets finally to travel around the world, meet new and interesting people, and be around lots and lots of great food. Pure Heaven." - MJK
BMB
BLACK MATH HORSEMAN (Sera Timms, Sasha Popovic (i.e. the "Skullet"), Bryan Tulao and Ian Barry) will be performing on the KNITTING FACTORY MAIN STAGE TONIGHT (JUNE 17).
THE KNITTING FACTORY
7021 HOLLYWOOD BLVD.
LOS ANGELES, CA., 90028
BMB
Birthday greetings to our good friend Vince, the inventor of Danny's (and your) Mandala Drum Trigger Pad and Virtual Brain Software Control Module, as well as lots of other things, some of which we don't even know about yet. The Synesthesia Corp will no doubt be shut down today so that the birthday boy/mad scientist can pull for Italy. Pub-like CHEERS from the entire Tool family!
BMB
WHAT
JELLO's BIG 5-O BIRTHDAY PARTY
JELLO BIAFRA & THE MELVINS with special guest ADAM JONES
WHERE
THE GREAT AMERICAN MUSIC HALL, SAN FRANCISCO, CA.
WHEN
JUNE 16 (TONIGHT) and JUNE 17
R.S.V.P.
BMB
Keyboard extraordinaire SCOTT KINSEY has a new project that has been described as "a blueprint for the future of electric jazz." Called "Human Element", the band will be performing in the intimate setting of the BAKED POTATO in Studio City on JUNE 19th, and then again at the ROSALIE and ALVA PERFORMANCE GALLERY on JUNE 21 (filmed for a possible DVD/AUDIO RELEASE). The address for this sonic adventure is 1417 W. 8th St. San Pedro, CA. 90732. 800-403-3447, and everyone should know the location of the splendid spud by now (being across the street from Carl's). We hope to see you there.
BMB
A friendly reminder that JELLO BIAFRA & THE MELVINS... and that RUMORED SPECIAL GUEST are gearing up for the BIG 5-O bash at the GREAT AMERICAN MUSIC HALL in SAN FRANCISCO on JUNE 16 and 17.
BMB
Check out ROLLING STONE magazine's poll of the "100 GREATEST GUITAR SONGS." Chuck Berry hit the number one spot with "Johnny B. Goode", and Tool made number 100 for "Vicarious." Neil Young's "Cowgirl in the Sand" made # 16, but what about "Southern Man"?.. Certainly there are a lot of repeating notes in that solo!!! Also, I would have liked to see at least something by Steve Howe (Yes), Jan Akkerman (Focus), Andy Latimer (Camel) and Rick Bess (Surprise - "Tyrangatang"). Anyone ever hear "Phoenix" by Wishbone Ash, or "From A dry Camel" by Dust? Very nice guitar work!...
BMB
Just a couple of things: Even though it's Shavuot, JZ's "HUBCAP CORRAL" will be providing the MONDAY NIGHT JAMMMZ sans the 49 inches of grilling space at THE BAKED POTATO on the 9th. The address is 3787 Cahuenga Blvd., West, Studio City 91604 (across from the Carl's Jr.). On JUNE 10th, VOLTO!'s KIRK COVINGTON will be performing modern jazz (and blues) as "Captain Kirk" at the LA VE LEE CLUB (12514 Ventura Blvd, Studio City). Kirk (along with Scott Tibbs and Kevin Axt) will also be playing at the aforementioned "tator" on JUNE 22. We hope to see you there!
BMB
For those who have sent messages about Danny, the hand is healing well as he attends the NBA finals along with Rynne, Camella and a certain king of the Silverburst. Now let's just hope that he (Dan) isn't hit with too much debris from fans of the Celtics during tomorrow's game (they wouldn't do that). Thanks for your well wishes!
BMB
A reminder that VOLTO! will be performing at THE KNITTING FACTORY IN HOLLYWOOD (MAIN SPACE) on FRIDAY, JUNE 6th. Filling in for D.C. (see news about his surgeries below) will be one of his favorite drummers, JOEL TAYLOR (Allan Holdsworth, Stanley Clark, etc. and most of the drums on Guitar Hero & Rock Band), so two of Dan's favorite drummers together on the same stage (KIRK COVINGTON being the other) as he heals. Special guests: MAGNETICO and STURGEON. TICKETS
THE KNITTING FACTORY/HOLLYWOOD
7021 HOLLYWOOD BLVD., HOLLYWOOD, CA. 90028
323.463.0204
Adam's photo showing Danny's hand pre-second surgery.
BMB
Birthday greetings to one of Danny's old band mates, Kent Brisley, now doing the guitar thing (and doing it damn well) with STURGEON. CHEERS from all of us!
BMB
Adam took this photo of a goddamn garden-variety Tool fan attempting to sign Danny's cast at a recent Lakers game... Yeah... cast you say... um... Yeah... it seems that Danny tangled with an unruly marine hazard, venomous and... dangerous... while vacationing in Hawaii (BACK IN FEBRUARY!). This aquatic critter was most likely a sea urchin or a scorpion fish... or something far more nefarious having nothing to do with the puncture nor venomous pincers of a marine hazard... but... at least, along with the throbbing pain and infection, there was a PURPLISH (Lakers fans!!!) discoloration... Still, it doesn't look like that unannounced Tool show in Lebanon Kansas for the solstice is going to happen... not to mention Danny performing with VOLTO! on Friday... Let's just hope... maybe even... pray... that after two surgeries... the finger (still numb)... finally heals. I know that he has my prayers...
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It appears that the long-awaited reprint of KENNETH GRANT'S "OUTSIDE THE CIRCLES OF TIME" (the 5th book of his Typhonian Trilogies) is finally here, at least in the U.K. through Ben Fernee's CADUCEUS BOOKS (www.caduceusbooks.com). According to the description in Ben's catalog, not only is the 2nd edition of "Circles" (limited to 1500 copies) printed on better paper than the original Frederick Muller edition from 1980, but some of the images that were previously reproduced in monochrome are now in color (hopefully "The Mystic Eye" and/or "The Portrait of Lam"). The new edition also includes ADDITIONAL ARTWORK by STEFFI GRANT, so those fortunate enough to own the 1st will probably also want a copy of the 2nd printing. Earlier when I said that the book was "long-awaited", to show that I wasn't exaggerating, in a letter from author Kenneth Grant to me, regarding "Outside the Circles of Time", he writes: " It is not surprising that you have difficulty obtaining the title you mention. It is due to reappear this Spring in tandem with a new book entitled "Beyond the Mauve Zone..." The letter is dated FEBRUARY 5, 1995 e.v. So, some 13 years later here it is. Besides Caduceus Books, I would imagine that the book will soon be available through its publisher, StarFire LTD (most likely with some signed deluxe copies). And, yes, a few months after writing Grant, I did manage to find a 1st edition and, even more amazingly, one whose pages haven't yet turned brown and deteriorated!
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Called by many "THE ORIGINATOR", rock pioneer, guitarist, singer, songwriter, BO DIDDLEY dies from heart failure at 79. Below is a photo of Bo with some of the members of Tool that was originally posted in May, 2007. The legend will be missed, but his music lives on...
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Just because Adam and Camella got me a camera doesn't mean that I know how to use it (although Adele shown here sure helps matters). But a person who most definitely DOES know how to use one still has his show going on. I'm talking about our good friend, "10,000 DAYS" photographer TRAVIS SHINN, whose "FINGERS IN FAME" can be viewed at the DRK RM GALLERY (2121 San Fernando Rd., Suite 3, Los Angeles, CA. 90065) until JUNE 29th. Among other great shots of famous musical artists (including APC), are framed limited edition photos of the members of TOOL that can be admired and purchased. So if you're in town, or planning on visiting, come check it out.
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I've been getting e-mail about some rumors that ADAM will be performing with JELLO BIAFRA & THE MELVINS for Jello's big Five-0 birthday bash in San Francisco. While doing a bit of gazing in the new psychomantium, it would appear that the rumors are indeed TRUE (I at least know that Buzz asked Adam to play, and that seems like something that he'd be into doing), so that should be a great couple of nights at the Great American Music Hall on JUNE 16 and 17. Click HERE for more information about the show.
A couple of albums that AJ performed on with Jello Biafra & The Melvins.
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A message from artist CHET ZAR: "My next solo show (and last one for 2008, thank god) will be at Strychnin gallery in London. The title is "Ugly American", and I will have 13 new pieces for it. It opens on June Friday the 13th. There is also a limited edition catalog for this show. It will feature all 13 new pieces as well as a few older pieces and includes a forward written by my good friend ADAM JONES!" You can pre-order it online by going HERE
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Speading the word here about some holiday grilling with JOHN ZIEGLER's "HUBCAP CORRAL" at the BAKED POTATO in Studio City (I'm fixin to give the address). Yessir/Yesmam come early to the MONDAY NIGHT JAMMMZ and throw your favorite ingesta on the 49 square inches of semi-toxic flame. Deglutition followed by lots of live music with John, Chris, Jamie, and Bernie. Then it's your turn... so be sure to bring your axe, theremin, or wearable tuba. As always, the 'splendid spud' is located at 3787 CAHUENGA BLVD., WEST, STUDIO CITY, CA. 91604 (818.980.1615), so call the dogs and piss on the fire! We hope to see (and hear) you there. (Enormous stuffed baked potatoes sold separately)
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When Camella took this photo of a purple Malibu sunset (with absolutely NO photoshop manipulation involved), she couldn't help but wonder if it was an omen of sorts... an omen involving the Los Angeles Lakers and San Antonio Spurs perhaps? Or the kind of omen sometimes perceived during the heroic exploits of certain mythological adventurers?
EMAIL Q & A
Q: "This strange business mentioned in the April newsletter... was it the allowance of the all Tool issue of Revolver magazine? Or is something else that is still yet to be announced? Since the date of the newsletter is April 1st (hopefully not some fools day scheme) I thought that it was possible that the magazine issue just had not been announced yet so it seems like a plausible theory. But if the magazine was in fact not the issue discussed at the meeting, without direct comment on what this strange thing may be, my only concern is wondering is if it was something else. Please reply, or clarify in a later post on the website in hopes of something to look forward to."
A: That mentioned in the April (1) newsletter had NOTHING to do with the all-Tool issue of "Revolver" Magazine, although at this time I am still not able to disclose any further information about any decision made by the band as to whether it's a go or not. It's my belief, however, that if it is a go, this will most likely be leaked on the Net before I get a chance to post it. Perhaps it already has been (I'm not really sure). Also, with regards to my last ToolArmy exclusive, that involves an entirely different project that is most definitely a go (Again, please be patient).
photo by Camella Grace
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Some excellent jazz if you're living in or visiting Los Angeles. SCOTT KINSEY GROUP at the La Ve Lee club in Studio City on Wednesday, May 21. Sets at 9:00 and 11:00 PM.
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www.travisshinn.com
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VOLTO! (DANNY CAREY, KIRK COVINGTON, LANCE MORRISON and JOHN ZIEGLER) will be performing on the main stage at THE KNITTING FACTORY on FRIDAY, JUNE 6th with special guests MAGNETICO and STURGEON. Doors at 8:00 PM. Advanced tickets suggested. We hope to see you there.
THE KNITTING FACTORY
7021 Hollywood Blvd., Los Angeles, Ca. 90028
323.463.0204
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Anybody who has ever met him would most certainly agree with me that he stands unique as both an artist, and, more importantly, as a person. Happy Birthday to the real deal, and the best of friends. Right now, Danny is celebrating his birthday with Rynne, Adam, and Camella in Salt Lake City. I'm not exactly sure why they went there to listen to some jazz, but I'll assume that they have their reasons. Cheers from your FAMILY (Father Bob and company), friends, and the entire, extended... ever growing Tool family! See you in a few for another celebration... From a Travelodge in San Francisco (where we just heard a lot of Tool at the nearby "Black Magic Voodoo Lounge"), HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG GUY! And if those fellows might need a little help with the jazz, maybe jump in...
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REVOLVER MAGAZINE's "THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO HARD ROCK'S MOST EXTRAORDINARY BAND" is officially out on newsstands today (MAY 6th, 2008 e.v.). The collector's edition features exclusive new interviews with ALL of the band members, lots of great photos (CAMELLA GRACE, TRAVIS SHINN, etc), rarely seen video concept sketches, artifacts, and album/packaging art work ideas by ADAM JONES, an interview with ALEX GREY, behind the scenes video info from KEVIN WILLIS and CHET ZAR, Q & A with Tool lighting wizard MARK 'JUNIOR' JACOBSON, a micro interview with the band's "content manager/occult advisor", 'praises' by TOMAS HAAKE, MIKE PATTON, and last, but certainly not least, BUZZ OSBORNE, and lots more. There's even a VIC FIRTH ad that features Danny's orange metallic Lamborghini Murcielago! So grab one while you can, or visit www.revolvermag.com to order on-line. Hell, I'm going to walk to the newsstand right now... I told you that I'd be purchasing a magazine entirely dedicated to Tool!
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10,000 DAYS photographer TRAVIS SHINN is having a showing of his 'music' photos (INCLUDING TOOL) at DRKRM.GALLERY (2121 San Fernando Road, Suite 3, L.A. CA, 90065 - 323-223-6867), OPENING MAY 24th - JUNE 29th. For additional info, please check out www.drkrm.com and/or www.travisshinn.com.
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Maynard recently did an interview with the Suicide Girls, James and Chloe to promote the "V is for Viagra, The Vagina Remixes" cd. Good times. Watch it here... Night At The Pussbury
There are a couple versions of it... here's a second... Night At The Pussbury Version 2. That's his real hair. NO! Seriously! He grew it overnight. "I had a strange dream involving cow patties, spirulina, and paprika. Rip Taylor was there. And when I woke up, I was with hair." Creepy. The Viagra remix cd is now available on His Site... if you're still into those antiques known as "CD's". It's also available on iTunes. AARON TURNER from ISIS did a mix, as did LUSTMORD, PAUL BARKER from Ministry, JOEY JORDISON, DAVE the rave OGILVIE, and many others PUSCIFER on iTunes There is also a new iTunes Delux Version of "V is for Vagina" that includes new art, the Queen B video, and 4 additional tracks.
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Some news from our friend CHET ZAR about upcoming art shows: "This Saturday, May 3rd, I have a piece in the "Carnivora- the Dark Art of the Automobile" Group show at L'imagerie Gallery. The show has an impressive line of artists involved." Go HERE for details. "The following Saturday, May 10th, is my big solo show at CoproNason gallery called, "We Are The Shadows". I have a brand new collection of paintings for this show, which my take on the concept of "shadow people". It opens Saturday, May 10th from 8pm to 11:30 pm. Admission is free. Hope to see you there.(Also showing that night at CoproNason are Luke Cheuh in gallery 1 and Mari Inukai in gallery 3)."
"We Are The Shadows"
Opening Reception: Saturday, May 10th, 2008 (8pm - 11pm)
May 10th, 2008 - May 31st, 2008
2525 Michigan Avenue T5. Santa Monica, CA 90404
Phone: 310-829-2156
www.copronason.com
"Last, but not least, I'm coming to the U.K.! My big LONDON SOLO SHOW opens FRIDAY, JUNE 13th at Strychnin Gallery London. I have another brand new set of pieces for this show as well. It's called "Ugly American" and I will have an e flyer to send out as that gets closer. I will be in attendance and a limited edition catolog of my "Ugly American" paintings is being produced for the show." For now, you can go HERE for additional info.
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A photo taken by Rynne of the Roger Waters inflatable pig that escaped(?) from Coachella on Sunday night. Having been there with Rynne and Danny (and a few others), I can tell you that the damn thing was heading towards the moon (yes, maybe even the 'far' side of the moon!)
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Blame natural causes. There's some news about Albert Hofmann's passing at the dailygrail website.
(Note: There's also a good article about the Swiss chemist written by ALEX GREY in COSM JOURNAL VOL. IV, 2006 (Entheo Art). In the same issue (which is, in fact, dedicated to Hofmann), Alex has penned another article about TOOL entitled "TOOL: SONIC VISIONARIES." Actually, the entire issue is devoted to the visionary symbolism of various artists, and the role psychoactive substances have played in their creations. Copies might still be available in the store at www.cosm.org.)
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Just a quick heads up about that magazine I mentioned at the beginning of the month: The TOOL-ONLY issue of "REVOLVER" should be out on MAY 6th. I'll post more about this very special issue later... (ToolArmy members can get more info on the message boards)
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3-D artist Meats Meier has just finished up another video for PUSCIFER. The new video for DoZo is up on uTube. Even with a bad case of poison oak, as per usual Meats did an excellent job, and has helped MJK "establish once and for all that DILDOS can in fact be used for self defense." Check out the video HERE . ALSO... the remix cd, "V is for VIAGRA"; the Vagina remixes will be out on the 29th of this month, featuring remixes from Paul Barker, Danny Lohner, Dave "Rave" Ogilvie, Josh Eustis, Lustmord, Mat Mitchell, Richard Devine, Joey Jordison, Michael Patterson, Contradicktator, Aaron Turner, and 8mm.
Release Date: APRIL 29th, 2008 of the vulgar era.
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I am extremely happy to report that the Toolband, Toolarmy website writer's strike is officially over. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAYNARD! Cheers from all your friends and the ever growing Tool family! By the way, I have some Puscifer news hot off the press and will get to it momentarily...
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From J.Z.'s home... BUT, it has been replaced with a brand spanking new CHAR-BROIL SANTA FE 491 CHARCOAL GRILL, and she's being assembled right now for the THREE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE HUBCAP CORRAL MONDAY NIGHT JAMMMZ (TONIGHT, APRIL 14) at the BAKED POTATO (3787 CAHUENGA BLVD, WEST, UNIVERSAL CITY, CA.) That's a cooking grate of 491 square inches. So come on down if you've got your taxes done, throw something gastric on the grill, and join in on the gadget-crowded stage. Last time I was there, Danny performed, and it wasn't too bad... Speaking of which, remember that DANNY will be playing with VOLTO! (along with Kirk, John, and Lance) on WEDNESDAY, APRIL 16 at the LA VE LEE JAZZ CLUB in Studio City (see address in my earlier post). Congrats to the Hubcap Corral for three years, and to J.Z. for his new Char-Broil Santa Fe grill. Yee-Ha!!! We hope to see you there.
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Something else to consider doing tonight if you're in town.
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THE MELVINS DALE CROVER and JARED FROM BIG BUSINESS will be gust DJ-ING TONIGHT (Thursday, April 10th) at the SILVERLAKE CHA CHA LOUNGE. They get under way around 9:00ish, and the address is 2375 Glendale BLVD., L.A., CA. 90039. Hope you can make it!
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Here he is in the car that's going to help "Mama."
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The return of VOLTO! to the LA VE LEE JAZZ CLUB on WEDNESDAY, APRIL 16th (which means that infamous table #23 will be back in business). VOLTO! is DANNY CAREY, KIRK COVINGTON, LANCE MORRISON, and JOHN Z (on guitar). Advanced tickets suggested.
LA VE LEE
12514 Ventura BLVD.
Studio City, CA. 91604
818-980-8158
www.laveleejazzclub.com
ALSO performing at the La Ve Lee THIS WEDNESDAY (APRIL 9) will be "KIRK", featuring VOLTO'S KIRK COVINGTON on DRUMS (along with Scott Tibbs and Trey Henry).
And finally, NEXT MONDAY (APRIL 14J, VOLTO, HIMSELF, J.Z., will be celebrating the 3rd year of his HUBCAP CORRAL MONDAY NIGHT JAMMMZ by dragging out the squeaky old Weber grill in the back parking lot for a Texas-style (well, almost) 'que. These are usually pretty damn good, so plan on coming out early to join in on the gluttony... and on the stage with other musicians. We hope to see you there!
THE BAKED POTATO
3787 CAHUENGA BLVD, WEST
UNIVERSAL CITY, CA. 91604
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K.U. wins in overtime... bigger smile on the face of D.C. CHEERS!
BMB
The birthday girl's been busy: scuba diving in the Pacific with spear gun for something to throw on the grill at her b.d. party, working on the next "Butcher" record, designing visuals for bands (Red Sparowes, to name one), supporting the Lakers out at Staples, exploring cenotes on the Mayan Riviera with her diving buddy, Rynne (photos to come),,, but don't worry, I'm sure she'll have some surreal stage projections when it's time for the next Tool tour. In the meantime, birthday love from A.J., Diablo, Tesla, Chubby Musso, Lotus, and, of course, the entire Tool family. CHEERS!
Camella in Akumal, Mexico. Photo by BMB
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SASH wins the 69 camaro, and we all thank you for your support. CHEERS!
photo from last night's skullet party... still in progess, actually.
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That Sierra Nevada pale stuff is going to cost you a pretty Euro, Aaron (Harris). Suggest that you stick with the local stuff...
Apr 13 - Ikra Club, Moscow
Apr 15 - Uebel & Gefaehrlich w/ Jakob, Hamburg
Apr 16 - Conne Island w/ Jakob, Leipzig
Apr 17 - Forum w/ Jakob & The Austerity Program, Bielefeld
Apr 18 - ROADBURN Fest w/ Celtic Frost, Electric Wizard, etc., Tilburg
Apr 19 - Grenslandhallen - POLSSLAG FESTIVAL, Hasselt
Apr 20 - Substage w/ Jakob & The Austerity Program, Karlsruhe
Apr 22 - Arena w/ Jakob & The Austerity Program, Vienna
Apr 23 - Feierwerk w/ Jakob & The Austerity Program, Munich
Apr 24 - Latte w/ The Austerity Program & Jakob, Brescia
Apr 25 - Mascotte w/ Jakob & The Austerity Program, Zurich
Apr 26 - L'Epicerie Moderne w/ Jakob & The Austerity Program, Lyon (Feyzin)
Apr 27 - L'Autre Canal w/ Jakob & The Austerity Program, Nancy
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For anybody who thinks they're communicating with DANNY via his myspace profile, please note that Danny DOES NOT (repeat: does NOT) have a myspace page. The pretenders out there might look pretty good, but they're not legit, at least, they DON'T belong to Danny Carey of Tool. We want you to know this so that you don't waste your valuable time and energy. With this in mind, you'll just have to communicate with him through other means (such as www.dannycarey.org., etc) as many others have done.
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I just got back from picking Sash up at the airport; he and the 'skullet' having returned to L.A. from Austraila for a few days for the FINAL FOUR of the JACKMADNESS MARCH MULLET MADNESS CONTEST. Sash has been downunder helping to take care of his mom who is currently undergoing treatment for lymphoma cancer (As I mentioned before, a win for Sash will most certainly go to a good cause, and BENEFIT his mom during these very difficult times). VOTING for this final round ENDS SATURDAY, APRIL 5th at NOON, so if you haven't already voted for the 'skullet' (Squirrel pelt bracket) do so HERE . I know that the band members and entire Tool family are pulling for him, and even more so for 'Mama' back in Avalon. Thanks again!
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Hard to define jazz at THE BAKED POTATO with THE SCOTT KINSEY GROUP, featuring Kins on keys, Steve Tavaglione on sax (or guitarist Scott Henderson?), Jimmy Earl on bass, and... do my eyes deceive me... VOLTO's KIRK COVINGTON ON DRUMS! (ought to put a smile on Danny's face).
THURSDAY, APRIL 3 - $15.00
THE BAKED POTATO
3787 CAHUENGA BLVD., WEST
STUDIO CITY, CA. 91604
(818-980-1615)
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IN NYC:
Last Rites Gallery Grand Opening show:
Transgression: Grand opening group exhibition
Shawn Barber, Colin Christian, HR Giger, Michael Hussar, John John Jesse,
Travis Louie, Dan Quintana, David Stoupakis, Chet Zar & more.
(Show preview coming soon)
Opening Reception: Saturday, 4/5/08, 7:00pm-11:00pm.
Show runs April 3rd thru April 29th.
lastritesgallery
... and opening the same night in LOS ANGELES:
April 3 year Anniversary " Hive Avatar show - The Denizens of Hiveland"
over 100 artists present their avatars in "Hiveland" for a book:
"A Field Guide to the Denizens of Hiveland" to be published in June 2008
Saturday, April 5th- 8PM-1AM
$8 at door, all ages
729 S. Spring St. LA, CA 90014
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I recently came into a considerable chunk of money (in a city like L.A., you might try leaving blank bank deposit slips in as many wealthy neighborhoods as possible, hoping for that one eccentric billionaire... although after doing so for a couple of years or so, that's not how I finally obtained my financial independence). ANYWAY... for those of you who like to bitch and moan about not getting enough Tool news on the website, I'll tell you what I'm going to do: Today (or tomorrow) I'm going to purchase one of those heavy metal magazines out there like "Spin" or "Revolver" or, hell, maybe I'll even bring back "Circus" or "Creem", and then I'm going to dedicate THE ENTIRE ISSUE TO TOOL... or maybe even the entire freakin magazine (if one entire issue isn't enough!). This way, we can continue to explore things that are of interest to the band members on the Tool websites. And you're very welcome. Now, I've got a robusto (Arturo Fuentes Forbidden X) that needs its ash flicked (where'd my ash flicker go?..)
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Here we go... the Final Four! Vote HERE to help our friend SASH and his fair dinkum 'skullet' (squirrel pelt) win that 1969 Camaro SS. Voting for round 5 ends SATURDAY, APRIL 5th at NOON, so do the right thing, and don't forget to MEET THE MULLETS (along with the WINNER) at Yankee Doodles in Long Beach (also on Saturday). Once again, THANKS for your support!
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SASH is now in the ELITE 8 (thanks!) and needs to KICK MULLET ASS in order to make it to the FINAL ( fucking) FOUR... THEN... then... then... ONE MORE VICTORY will win him the 69' Camaro (gosh, when I was 16 I had a 68 Rally Sport, so I know how much gas that baby uses!!!). VOTING for this round ends this SUNDAY at 6PM. Here's the direct LINK to his voting page. C'mon, let's worship that skullet!!!... and give that Chevy a good home.
P.S. How about Danny's Jayhawks!
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RED SPAROWES AT THE ECHOPLEX
Thursday, March 27, 2008
www.redsparowes.com
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Now that Sash and his 'skullet' have advanced again (thanks!), he needs your vote to get into the FINAL 8. He is now Match Up #2 in the Squirrel Pelt Bracket, and here's the LINK to his VOTING PAGE. Voting for this round ends tomorrow (WEDNESDAY, MARCH 26) at 6:00 PM, and ONLY ONE VOTE PER COMPUTER is accepted. So tell your friends! Let's make this happen for him.
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According to an early morning phone call that I received from Aaron Harris, the official ISIS tattoo artists will be here in Los Angeles (direct from Boise, ID) next week to further ink some of the band members, and any others who are interested. According to Aaron, besides working on the members of Isis, they've also left their mark on JUSTIN CHANCELLOR, the guys from GWAR, MASTADON, and many other potential 'showcases.' They'll only be in town (L.A.) for a few days, so if you're interested in getting some ink by these artists, contact them HERE . For additional info, please visit the Isis myspace page.
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With the mullet competition continuing, and Sash's "skullet" taking the first round (no doubt in part thanks to you!), he now needs your help again in ROUND 2 (matchup #3 in the Squirrel Pelt Bracket). Here's the direct link to Sash's voting page. About your vote: Without mentioning any specific details at this point, I can tell you that if Sash were to win that 69 Camero, it would ultimately serve a very good cause, and one that is currently in the hearts of many of those in the Tool family (honestly). So cast your vote (for SASH!), and remember that the cut off for ROUND 2 is SUNDAY, MARCH 23 at 6PM.
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The folks at Synesthesia were recently in a bit of a 'Cabbage Patch Doll" situation with the new MANDALA DRUM, but finally they've caught up with the demand and all orders have been shipped out. For those musicians who have been waiting patiently, I'm told that there are currently more Mandalas in stock and the Synesthesia people are taking orders. In fact, people who buy now will most likely have their Mandala shipped out within one day! Speaking of which, BILL BRUFORD (Yes, King Crimson, U.K., etc) has recently been blogging on his website about Danny, (inventor) Vince De Franco, Synesthesia and the Mandala. Evidently Bill is currently testing one and will hopefully incorporate them into his setup. Here's the link for those interested.
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Our extremely good friend SASH POPOVIC has somehow managed to make it into round one of the JACK FM MARCH MULLET MADNESS CONTEST ("Squirrel Pelt Bracket) and NEEDS YOUR VOTE to win that 1969 Camaro SS... VOTING ENDS WEDNESDAY at 6PM, BUT there is UNLIMITED VOTING so all you SASH fans (that's EVERYONE who reads this) should vote as much as you can (For SASH, that is). HERE'S WHAT TO DO: Go to the link (VOTE) and select #1 SQUIRREL PELT BRACKET... then CLICK on MATCHUP # 6 for SASH... Got that?... (He'll give you rides WHEN he wins)
Or if my St. Paddy's link isn't correct: www.jackmadness.com
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ISIS is releasing a series of two singles from their last album "IN THE ABSENCE OF TRUTH."
THE PACKAGE CONTAINS:
"HOLY TEARS" (album version)
"HOLY TEARS" (live from the Continental Airlines Arena with JUSTIN CHANCELLOR*)
"HOLY TEARS" (music video directed by Dominic Hailstone)
"NOT IN RIVERS, BUT IN DROPS" (REMIX by MELVINS/LUSTMORD)
*That night when Justin joined Isis on stage, Danny's drum tech Joe Paul (and a few members of Tool who shall remain anonymous played some pranks on their opening act - one being to put Johnson and Johnson's baby powder in Aaron Harris's hi hat so that he received steady puffs of fragrant 'smoke' during the first song, with the other being the condition of the dressing room after the band returned to it, "sweaty and thirsty" after their set. As it turned out, the dressing room had been 'magically' transformed into a Christmas scene, with all of the band's belongings gift wrapped and placed under a Christmas tree amid a floor of white peanuts 'snow.' Good times!
You can also preview the video at the band's myspace page - www.myspace.com/sgnl05
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I believe that there are still some tickets left for the VOLTO! show tomorrow night (SATURDAY, MARCH 15) at THE KNITTING FACTORY in HOLLYWOOD (323-463-0204).
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For those of you in Austin at "SOUTH BY SOUTHWEST", the MOONRATS still have a few shows!
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One more for the dirty thirty club... but a damn good one! Merch is still upset about the lasagna, but we'll see you at the Cha Cha in a few... BIG LOVE FROM THE TOOL FAMILY!
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TOOL NEWSLETTER
MARCH, 2008 e.v.
SUBJECT: ROLLING STONE
QUESTION: "Hey Blair, I'm sure you've received emails about this, but just in case you haven't... a Rolling Stone journalist said he did shots of Patron with Danny and Maynard at the Grammys and they told him there is a new album in the works. My heart skipped a beat when I read it. Do you have any insight to this rumor?"
REPLY: If Danny and/or Maynard told the guy that there was a new (Tool) album in the works, than who am I to say that it's not so? However, I can't help but wonder if these were decoy band members that attended the Grammys, or, even if they were the actual band members, was this record they were referring to merely a decoy album? As a de-facto ambassador (with or without the white robe of a Fair Witness), keep in mind what I wrote in the January 17th newsletter - namely that if you were to go looking for a band member on the Red Carpet, you better watch out not only for a large Venerian Dragon with a cockney lisp, but for SnARKS that are boojums! Still, if they really are dusting off the dry-erase 'arrangement' board over at the rehearsal space, perhaps it's once again time to remove the violet silk wrap of my faux bird's-eye maple deluxe edition 'talking board' and summon Obelisong, the "pleasant deliverer" of some '10,000 Days" tidbits a couple of years ago. Better yet, what do you say we just wait and see what unfolds over the next few months? Any pertinent news shall be posted in a timely fashion.
SUBJECT: TOOL & ROCK BAND
QUESTION: "I have been a faithful Tool fan for years now. They have inspired me in so many ways different ways. My question is do they have a problem with letting the makers of Rock Band add them to their DLC of music? I would love to sing along with Maynard and play along with Danny. I have bought their albums so many times it makes me sick to my stomach. In total I have purchased Lateralus seven times because of a loss of cd or stolen. Opiate and the other albums have been played so much they won't play anymore so I just buy another copy. Please convince them to allow the makers of Rock Band to add their music so us fans can sing along to the music."
REPLY: I hear you, dude. Sure beats the hell out of strumming a badminton racket without a whammy bar, pounding cookie tins, or trying to use an empty roll of toilet paper covered with aluminum foil as a microphone. Believe me, I've been desperately trying to convince them ever since the game came out... calling... emailing... sending text messages... calling. Yep, we're on the same page, bro... "Guitar Hero"/karaoke.... love it all! And how about all those people wasting their f***ing time trying to learn how to play a real instrument! Or write an original song! Virtual, baby, virtual band... that's where it's at... Instrument peripherals and over-f***in-drive score multipliers! Those squiggly-looking things scrolling on the screen... Badass tattoos... adjustable hair and body physiques... Don't know about you, but I'm currently on a world tour, playing endless set lists and spending tons of cash in the rock shop. All I can say is that hopefully someday the guys in the band will give their consent, and then we'll all be rocking out in the irised spotlight! I know I'd be all over that like dingleberries on an armless... Oh... also, dude, you might want to put the band's music on an iPod or something... an MP3 player, seeing how you keep having to buy new cds and stuff.
(Note: If anyone detects a hint of sarcasm, it's only because I suspect the e-mailer might just be the president of MTV Games, or who ever it is that makes Rock Band. Nice f***ing try guy).
SUBJECT: JUST WONDERING
QUESTION: "Where does MJK come up with his verses? Interesting."
REPLY: With regards to the Venerian Dragon named Sir Isaac Newton, what I didn't mention, however, is that, in a pouch under his voder, it had spectacles that "see through the thickest mist." These, I'm told (see "The Number of the Beast" by Robert A. Heinlein) were invented by his friend, Professor Wogglebug. Now, as many of you know, Wogglebug (who can't swim, by the way) also invented (and patented) certain little tablets of learning that are to be eaten after a meal (preferably with a glass of golden Arizona sunshine congealed into purple tears) so that one may be taught things almost instantaneously (thereby allowing time for other, more recreational, things), Among the assortment of these tablets of learning is one that teaches how to write in a beautiful hand, and when combined with the spectacles... well... you see. Good thing for Tool enthusiasts that he didn't eat the ones for boating and algebra! So there you have it... little tablets of learning that teach one things "in the twinkling of an eye." I was going to say "in the shower", but the truth should be known...
SUBJECT: S1t2a3r585w3a3r1s. TOP SECRET?
"I believe I have found a connection with the timings of the three albums "Aenima", "Lateralus", and "10000 Days" and the three Star Wars films "A New Hope", "The Empire Strikes Back", and "Return of the Jedi". The timings are as follows:
28:31 Track 10.
39:31 Track 3.
58:31 Track 2.
126:49 Track 8.
115:49 Track 10.
145:13 Track 5.
147:13 Track 5.
155:05 Track 5.
10000 Days: Return of the Jedi.
Lateralus: Empire Strikes Back.
Aenima: A New Hope.
I have watched them all over again and again, and each time I find new match ups between the two. Does any of this mean anything to you? Or am I just a Tool fanatic searching for clues where there are none to be found?
P.S. If there really is a connection, do you want me to keep it a secret?"
REPLY: What, you a Tool fanatic? No way! You don't at all strike me as the type who would join a fan site just for a chance at concert post-sales. I know that some people will tell you that any connections between albums, Tool or otherwise (i.e. the Dark Side of Oz effect), that sync up with films are purely coincidental rather than intentional, but I'm not one of them. About the synchronicity of the Tool albums with Star Wars films, the answer is a resounding... yes. And yes, you should keep it a secret. You must keep it a secret. Now, I want you to turn off your CD player and TV... go outside in the sun and look at the hill. It's so beautiful.
SUBJECT: TOOL TOWELS
QUESTION: "I just woke from my usual afternoon nap and had an epiphany: Why don't Tool make some beach towels or bath towels for their fans/shop. What a wonderful idea I thought to myself imagining the 10,000 Days 'head' on my black and white towel alongside their current logo... (I would gladly forgo credit for a free one as thanks for thinking of the idea). Awesome."
REPLY: Shame you weren't around when Van Halen was... well... before Valerie was a corporate shill for Jenny. Would you settle for a nice lenticular keychain?
SUBJECT: BLU-RAY
COMMENT: "Many people want a live concert blu-ray."
REPLY: Okay, who's on your wish list? John Mayer? Michael Buble? Dixie Chicks.?..
SUBJECT: 10,000 DAYS... SATURN
QUESTION: "The Saturn year is approximately 10,000 Days long. Saturn is often symbolized as aspiritual essence that demands the utmost potential out of the person, and the removal of the ego. I think Tool is trying to create the "Great Work", to help humans guide onto a higher plane of consciousness. Saturn comes back around to let us know if we are fucking up, in the form of revelation and difficult questions. I think this is very much connected to 10,000 days, in the urgency to remove the ego and recognize that we are all one with everything and everyone else. Once we all can reach this state of understanding, we will realize that there is no need for monetary or religious institutions, furthermore freeing mankind from the common burdens of existence. Removal of Ego, recognizing all as one, rejuvenate as a more proficient, highly evolved, self-generating organism... or face complete destruction. I think Lateralus and 10,000 days tell the same story in different depths. Please let me know how far off base I am."
REPLY: You're thinking... Perhaps, not as much as the person with the Tool beach towel, but nevertheless you're thinking. Much appreciated.
SUBJECT: IJYNX, DMT & JAYNES
QUESTION: "I noticed that your book is no longer in the Tool shop. Is there anywhere else I might find it? Also, would you care to recommend any other books, sites, or articles relating to the release of DMT in the brain other than Strassman's? You mentioned in the SubRosa article certain frequencies attainable by meditation that might facilitate this release. I don't have the means to access an EEG device, but I have been experimenting with binaural beats and the Brainwave Generator program. Would these frequencies fall within the Theta/Delta range (<7 Hz)? This brings to mind Julian Jayne's The Origin Of Consciousness In The Breakdown Of The Bicameral Mind and "the veil" between the two hemispheres of the brain. A response to one or all of these questions would be much appreciated."
REPLY: While in the process of moving, I recently found a few mint (unopened) copies of "Ijynx" and I believe they might now be in the store on the Tool site. With regard to any frequencies that act as tryptamine triggers, in a forthcoming publication I discuss a series of magical operations that were designed to 'trick' the brain into releasing certain endogenous tryptamines. For now, I'll just say that the mechanics of the ritual (sonic and visualization techniques, etc.) were specifically timed to coincide with the minima of the famous eclipsing binary star ALGOL (Beta Persei), and involved the Operator projecting one's self into the astronomical constellation "Triangulum." However, along with the instructions comes a warning about 'tampering' with the autonomic nervous system, and how the greatest precautions should be taken (remember what Crowley cryptically wrote in "LIBER LI" - "If you pay sufficient attention to your heart, you will make it palpitate.") As for Julian Jaynes' book, some interesting ideas can also be found in "The Lost Secret of Death: Our Divided Souls and the Afterlife" by Peter Novak, but these don't involve any means by which to release the 'mother load' that you seek.
SUBJECT: DANNY'S SHIRT
QUESTION: "There is a picture of Danny (by Rynne) posted on the 12th of Feb and he has a cool shirt with all these cool leaves of my favorite plant on it. Every year my work has a luau with a Hawaiian shirt contest. I have been trying to find such a shirt so that I can win this contest. Please help!"
REPLY: He found it in the garment district in downtown L.A. Long long ago in a galaxy far far away a certain female someone was giving Danny a bit of grief about not wearing a dress shirt when out to dinner at a restaurant (instead of the more casual tee that he normally wore), and that shirt was his rather ingenious response.
SUBJECT: DANNY= FIVE
QUESTION: "Even the shirt in the latest picture has five leaves (coincidence?). I noticed that the pictures in the cd booklet were #'d up to six, but unsure why. The last newsletter and accompanying picture may be the clue I was looking for. Oriented 90 degress off, using the arrows on the arms as a guide, the doodle appears to be someone sitting down, with a circle around the hand, and the five marks indicate (possibly) page five would be a good place to start. I also noticed the true-lines pointing to the blue towel, and possibly the initials DC in the head of the folded pencil. I can't tell what's in his hand yet, but I'll be attempting to find out. Anyway, having a great time...two weeks out from my latest shoulder surgery and I have extra time on my hands. I always enjoy a good newsletter. Sorry if this sounded disoriented. I'm a little fuzzy from the meds and lack of sleep/proper diet."
REPLY: While it is true that I was attempting to communicate something with that photo, the damn "blue towel" that you mention inexplicably lit up a jay and kept moving 'out of place', all the while mumbling something about "not knowing what was going on..."
SUBJECT: TIBETAN SINGING BOWLS
QUESTION: "A while back you mentioned something about a Tibetan singing bowls CD and that a combination of unusual metals were used in them. I can't find that anymore. Could you direct me to the right place?"
REPLY: Yes, I know, clicking on the 'past news archives' is quite a hassle. The CD is entitled "PRANAH" by Mark Biehl. Coincidently enough, Mark has written an article about Tibetan singing bowls in the Spring (current) issue of "Light of Consciousness" magazine (available at the big chains such as Borders, Barnes & Noble, etc). Even more info about the CD can be found at Mark's website . I'm certainly NOT suggesting that anyone actually does this, but wouldn't it be fun to break into your typical 'top 40' AM radio station and force the DJ to play a CD that features 60 + minutes of Tibetan singing bowls (without saying anything) to it's pop audience! Same with something like ELP's "Toccata" from "Brain Salad Surgery" (on repeat, of course). Just dreaming...
SUBJECT: JAYWALKING TICKETS
QUESTION: "How much was the jaywalking ticket that you and Danny got?"
REPLY: As I wrote on the check: One hundred and twenty-three dollars and not one goddamn cent more.
SUBJECT: ADJUSTING THE REFLECTOSIGHT IN THE SANCTUM SANCTORUM
QUESTION: "What are the dimensions of your "reflecto-sight" or is an object that isn't 3-dimensional? Also, would you be willing to describe the set up that the band has in their own sanctum sanctorum? A couple friends and I have been interested in the concept of "sacred space" where higher beings are able to cross onto our plane of existence? Is there any particular items that help to attract certain beings and conversely, any particular items that help to deter certain beings? Thank you and Much Help."
REPLY: Sorry, but both my reflecto-sight and the band's are more secret than the burgers on the menu at "FireFly." Suffice it to say, my beamish friend, if any entities appear on a scorcher of a day bearing black Popsicles, they shall immediately be banished to their place of origin, if you get my meaning.
SUBJECT: DVD
QUESTION: "Well, I'm sure you get this question a lot, but is tool ever going to release a collection of their music videos and live performances on to a dvd? (not salival). I wish they would, I mean there's always bootlegs but I'd rather buy it from Tool! Thanks!
REPLY: No problem. Actually, I don't get that question too often - maybe a couple of times over the last 8 years. To answer you, though: I think at some point they will release one, but first they're working on a new Tool beach (or bath) towel, and this, of course, is causing them to spend a lot of time and energy (what with the design and such, along with those decoy towels placed on various beaches in the world to foil the plans of any would-be bootleggers out there). But, yes, someday perhaps if there's a market for it. Rest assured, however, that I will keep you and other fans up to date about any developments with the new beach (or bath) towel.
SUBJECT: LAYERS OF DIMENSIONS
COMMENT: "Can one "see" those who traverse out of this conscience dimension, the milliseconds that it takes to ease the synapse reaction time, perhaps, to move back and enter that millimeter of regression, and still exist in both dimensions? Is the presence of this ability the driving force of conscience, while society feeds us only the constant regression of logic to keep at bay those with this ability? As a form of population control? If the true potential of interdimensional travel, ie existing in both realms which in turn drives multidimensional levels of "presence" is pushes consciousness the millimeter it needs to receive and grow, then why have multi-dimensional creatures as the snark, infiltrated more of the continuum? Is it a "hidden" gem inside our minds capability? Could we then "mirror" this idea through a man made machine to speed past the speed of light which "enters" the millimeter it needs to traverse the next "layer" of dimensional reality. This might also explain all of those right angle crafts seen over Groom Lake. Re-entering "this dimension" via extreme speed but a milli-second behind. Happening so fast it only "appears" to happen in "real time" Interesting to say the least Mr. Blake. Very interesting."
REPLY: All I can say is: watch out the next time someone sits down by you at the bar and orders a "coke and olives."
SUBJECT: 'NEIL' HAMBURGER
QUESTION: "Where can I find a decent chili dog in L.A? I don't like tough 'snappy' dogs like those served at "Pink's" or elsewhere in this palm-infested dystopia. I'm looking for something old school like Dog N Suds or James Coney Island. Do you have a clue or am I going to have to install a continua widget in a taxi and set the verniers for 1970s Nova Scotia?"
REPLY: I don't know what this has to do with the band, but frankly (hehe) I've been wondering the same thing. Wondering on an almost daily basis. Hopefully someone out there can enlighten 'both' of us? (Note: I sometimes reply to my own e-mail sent to the site.)
SUBJECT: SOLUTION TO PUZZLE
COMMENT: "Quetzalcoatl is returning, closing the great cycle and foreshadowing the completion of the Great Work. What is false will die so Truth can be born."
REPLY: Looks like someone read "A Psychedelic Apocalypse" by Daniel Pinchbeck in "DARKLORE, VOLUME 1" (please visit www.dailygrail.com). Well, for those of us who plan on getting married on December 22, 2012 e.v., I certainly hope not. What ever happened to a good old- fashioned doomsday scenario? Like my coffee, I'll take my doomsday black and without sugar...
SUBJECT: TOOL IN IRAQ
QUESTION: "Blair, while enjoying beers at my favorite (soon to be no more) watering hole over the weekend, a gentleman who claimed to be a marine told me that he recently saw TOOL in Iraq. I had never heard about this show. While I can believe that this show wasn't reported in the media, or on this site, I find it hard to believe that I would not have read something of the show on this site-unless of course it happend in another dimension. Was this casual acquaintance pulling my leg, or will you please confirm that the show did occur?"
REPLY: If he wasn't pulling your leg, my best guess is that the guy saw the band perform in Turkey (rather than in another dimension - Marines in another dimension... wouldn't that be the Navy?), but, I'm curious, did he happen to mention anything about seeing any 10,000 Days posters in that city - posters containing a certain anomaly? Also, I'm fairly certain that if the band performed in Iraq, I'd mention it (albeit briefly) on the site. Same with the band playing in another dimension, as I've already done (ala post-sale tickets!) in the past.
Well, that's all that I have time for now. The weather's lovely here in southern California and I'm off to the beach with the (first) prototype decoy Tool towel...
HAPPY TRAILS
BMB
Birthday greetings to a former (and sometimes still) writer for the Tool website, novelist (while in her twenties!), world traveler, Eve of New Year's Eve drinking partner, Tervis Tumbler Traveler Troupe Tester, newest member of the Dirty Thirty Club... but, most importantly... a friend to cherish. Cheers with a blessed tropical libation of your choice, and much love from Sasha, all your friends... and, of course, the enitire Tool family!
Painting of Kat Popovic by Heather McMillen
BMB
The Hollywood KNITTING FACTORY will be sonorosity central on SATURDAY, MARCH 15 as VOLTO! (DANNY CAREY, KIRK COVINGTON, LANCE MORRISON & JOHN ZIEGLER) performs on the main stage. The location is 7021 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood, CA. 90028 (323-463-0204). Here's a link to get you set up with tickets.
BMB
I'm happy to report that our friend Aloke Dutta is recovering rather nicely from his recent heart surgery, and is currently resting in his home town of Shantiniketan, India. To answer a few e-mailers who evidently aren't exactly sure who Aloke is... he is one of the best tabla players on the planet, and the instructor of that instrument to Danny, Pat Mastelotto (king Crimson), Aaron Harris (ISIS), Dave Miller (Katalyst) and many others. His tabla playing is featured on Tool's "PUSHIT" on "Salival", and he has several CDs that are available on his website. We wish him all the best, and look forward to seeing him when he returns to Los Angeles (Vindaloo, Aloke?).
BMB
The LIMITED EDITION Caduceus.org "Touchdown" T-shirt, which features artwork (woodblock relief image) by RAMIRO RODRIGUEZ, can be ordered from the "COMING SOON!" section of the Puscifer.com STORE . A LIMITED EDITION PRINT of "TOUCHDOWN" is also available by contacting the artist at info@RamiroRodriguez.com.
BMB
INVITATION ALL STARS (featuring guitarist ADAM STARK) tonight, TUESDAY FEBRUARY 26 at...
THE BAKED POTATO
3787 Cahuenga Blvd, West, Universal City
818-980-1615
SCOTT KINSEY (with Arto Tuncboyaicyan), FEBRUARY 27 at...
LAVELEE
12514 VENTURA BLVD, STUDIO CITY, CA.
818-980-8158
Scott will also be playing at the LaVeLee jazz club with guitar virtuouso SCOTT HENDERSON on March 12th (with more dates TBA).
John Z from VOLTO! will be doing the MONDAY NIGHT JAMMMZ at the 'tator' as always. Among other great musicians, DANNY has been known to join in, and YOU'RE INVITED TO DO SO AS WELL! We hope to see you there.
BMB
Issue V of the CoSM Journal is now available at www.cosm.org. (shop@cosm). The theme this time around is RITUAL AND MYSTERY SCHOOLS, and the contents include Chartres Cathedral, gnosic painting, Damanhur, "Human Anatomical Dissection" by ALEX, ALLYSON, and ZENA GREY, shamanic mysteries of Egypt, "A Brief History of the Thoth Tarot" by William Breeze, Burning Man (intro by Daniel Pinchbeck), some new verses of (really) esoteric masonry by that guy who breaks for armadillos, barbecue shacks, and anomalous black aeroforms (that he doesn't shoot at), and much, much more. As usual, Eli, Marisa and the crew have done an excellent job with the graphic design. Check it out... the Journal of Visionary Culture.
CHET ZAR PRINTS
Our good friend CHET ZAR (who worked on HELLBOY 2) has a couple of new prints for sale on his website . "Crybaby" and "Weeping in the Brambles" are both SIGNED, NUMBERED and LIMITED to 50 PRINTS EACH.
BMB
Danny, Kirk, Lance and John will be performing a couple of shows at THE BAKED POTATO on Friday, February 22. For those who are interested in seeing this, I suggest that you make reservations by calling 818-980-1615 AFTER 6PM. The club is located at 3787 CAHUENGA BLVD., W, Universal City, CA. 91604. As always, we hope to see you there, even if you don't buy a Volto! hoodie.
BMB
Like a gilded tumbleweed... tumbling through the very Kingdom of Eros itself, I send this valentine to a very special armadillo out there (just in case she didn't see my message in the nighttime skies over Stephenville, Texas a few weeks ago). Sure, it might be traditional to send flowers... but news posts never die... So denounce me all you want, toolarmy dudes - turn my prismatic avatar into a grey cankerworm for all I care... for this is... necessary (I mean... for this is love). Now, when is this special day of steak and bjs that I read about on the message boards? Love you, dilla!
BMB
while their decoys enjoyed a few pints back here.
BMB
TOOL NEWSLETTER
FEBRUARY, 2008 e.v.
Evidently I made a big mistake by posting the January 17 newsletter entitled "Pantheistic Multiple-Ego Solipsism." As it turns out, quite a few people still think that it contains a riddle of sorts... inside information hinting at some live DVD, new tour dates, a Tool movie ala Pink Floyd's "The Wall" or other such craziness, even though I clearly stated that it was about alternate universes, and thus offering some insight as to how one might go about accessing them. However, this wasn't just written for fans so that they might be able to catch the guys elsewhere during the break here on Universe-Zero, but was actually intended for the band members themselves who, if you think about it, will never really get to experience a Tool show in the way that their fans do. Therefore, in order for Tool to see Tool, I thought they might want to explore as many as possible of The-Number-Of-The-Beast spaces where some analog-Tool might currently be touring (granted, with minimal translations in the base-six continua, there might be a few quirks, such as slight variations in the set list, lighting, video projections, musicians playing different instruments, etc). Be that as it may, as I just said, this was a big mistake on my part, especially after mentioning the universe lacking the letter 'J.' Here's why:
SOMETHING'S FISHY HERE!
Having just exited a black roadable* in order to have some lunch with theatrics at Benihana of Tokyo in Encino, Danny, Rynne, I and another (who wishes to remain anonymous) crossed Ventura Boulevard, only to be accosted by a Black Hat-boojum disguised as an L.A.P.D. motorcycle cop (a convincing fake!) who was totally INVISIBLE until we reached the other side of the street. At the entrance, before we could get to the teppan-table, hibachi steak and any dazzling effects, we were each issued a JAYWALKING TICKET (this while one of the freakin' Cuyler clan was probably cleaning out the robot box at a nearby Starbucks). But not only that, while the 'officer' wrote up the citations, we had to listen to some Jabberwocky about how dangerous it was for us to cross the street, and that our ticket wouldn't affect our driving record. Well, "no shit" to the latter -we weren't driving (hence the term "jaywalking"). As for it being dangerous to cross the street - that's fine if you're a five-year-old child (or, of course, if Britney's out and about on that day). When Danny asked if the officer was kidding, after his stern reply of "Does it look like I'm kidding?", I knew that this was in fact a boojum, and that the encounter with him was a warning for us not to experiment with transuniversal travel. Even though the 'cop' didn't have a purple Sharpie, making no judgment as to whether this was the real Danny and not a decoy, this Fair Witness watched as he calmly signed his ticket, at the same time suggesting that the officer's time might be better served going door to door looking for any dangerous baby furniture. Once over the emotional shock (for evidence, Rynne also took a photo of the 'cop' with a Polaroid Stereo-Instamatic-Self-Focusing, Automatic-Irising, Automatic Processing Camera [or was it an i-Phone?]), we received the equally distressing news that the restaurant had closed for the afternoon.
Would there be no lunch with theatrics at Benihana of Tokyo in Encino? Relax. Fortunately, I had a backup plan, and this was "Something's Fishy Here" just up the boulevard a bit. We thus headed for the nearest crosswalk...
*MJK once owned the black roadable, which is probably how the baddies tracked us.
BOUNCED OFF THE RIM AT THE FINAL BUZZER
But the jaywalking ticket was only the beginning. Hours later we watched in horror as Danny's beloved K.U. JAYHAWKS lost to the Texas Longhorns (only the second game that the team has lost this season!) Seems like the boojums would go to any length to keep us from setting the verniers - those tools for tools, and investigating the multiverse. Still, I'm happy to report that was it for that day at least. The Monday night Jammmz at the 'tator' went well, with Danny sitting in on the drums for a rather lengthy version of Zeppelin's "No Quarter" (I told you that you never know who's going to join in), and, thank God (or some network executive), J.J. was still there on K-CAL channel 9 doing her thing (after all, I need my accurate weather report).
And while I'm on the subject of news, donning my Fair Witness cloak, here on Universe-Zero it appears that the band members are pretty much just doing their own thing: Watching basketball games, drinking (nay, producing) fine wine, playing Halo 3 with other members of the Halo Nation, eating McDonald's at the Grammy awards (because the music industry is going down the destruction oubliette over downloading and can't afford proper catering), adjusting the reflectosight in the sanctum sanctorum, having horizontal conversations with their significant others, exploring caves on their new property and, hopefully, watching out for any Black Hat-boojums masquerading as L.A.P.D. motorcycle officers on Ventura Boulevard... By the way, do you think anyone might be interested in purchasing Danny's signed jaywalking ticket on e-Bay? I know that I turned mine into something positive.
HAPPY TRAILS
BMB
Justin, 'Evil' Joe Barresi and Danny at McDonald's. Some got Grammy awards with their Quarter Pounder and fries. Way to go Herbie!
photo - Rynne
BMB
Our good friend CHET ZAR has a couple of art shows this weekend, including one of the pieces that he was working on during the interview in the 'making of' part of Tool's "Vicarious" video/DVD.
"A CABINET OF NATURAL CURIOSITIES"
ROQ LA GALLERY
2312 2nd AVE. SEATTLE, WA.
(206) 374-8977
OPENING: FRIDAY, FEB. 8TH (6-9 PM)
Runs through MARCH 1
"BRAD BENEDICT'S SIDESHOW"
MERRY KARNOWSKY GALLERY
170 South La Brea Ave. Los Angeles, CA.
(232) 933-4408
OPENING: SAT., FEB 9TH (8-11 PM)
Runs through MARCH 8
BMB
Record release at CoSM in New York City.
BMB
HUMAN ELEMENT, featuring keyboard/synth wizard SCOTT KINSEY (with Arto Tuncboyaciyan) will be performing some strange... strange music tonight! (FEB. 7th) at THE BAKED POTATO in Universal City. 9:30 & 11:00. There's more HERE . Avant Garde Folk!.. Just the right thing for thirsty Thursday!
BMB
TOOL NEWSLETTER
JANUARY 17, 2008 e.v.
"TICKETS - YOU'RE HOLDING UP THE LINE."
As I mentioned in the December newsletter, those of you who possess a Burroughs continua device and are engaged in space-time manipulation are probably getting ready to enjoy the Tool show in some alternate Universe (one where Danny signs autographs in ink the color of a deadly green nebula, and the audience's cigarettes/narcotic sticks are lit by the analog-Scott's palette of lasers). However, my beamish friends (i.e. astrogators), if you did set the verniers of your wonder buggy (no doubt laden with Tool decals), for ALUOSSIM, watch out for the ticket takers as well as any venue security personnel lest they be boojums and you softly and suddenly vanish away (especially if you happen to be a baker!) But if you don't get this warning in time, and haven't yet been ERASED, though it might seem to be catering to ghouls, the analog-MJK (provided this is not the universe without the letter "J") should remind you over the voder. [Are you sure, friend Blair?]. Of course you could just bounce back to this time-axis via the continua widget, and thus be informed of any possible Black Homburgs in the building.
At this point, I'm fairly certain that those of you without the Burroughs apparatus or any other irrelevant drive are wondering what in the multiverse I'm talking about. Well, before you print this up and toss into the destruction oubliette, let me just say that I've received hundreds of e-mails from Tool enthusiasts wanting additional information about the show at the Adytum Theatre in ALUOSSIM, which I clearly said was NOT in the Apocatastasis-Grid, but on a parallel earth that was only accessible by knowledge of transuniversal travel. While many are still waiting for hyperspacial pre-sales, due to my mentioning of the earth-without-the-letter-'J'during the holiday season, others thought that the newsletter was merely a slight at Jesus or even at the Supreme Inseminator itself. My inclusion of the song "Abomination of Desolation" from the Tool album "Bethlehem Abortion Clinic" (listed in the catalogue/insert of the release of Aenima outside the United States) seemed to further this (erroneous) notion. Tool albums that might or might not exist on parallel earths aside, what a social experiment that title turned out to be, with nearly everyone believing it to contain a negative Xian message when it could just as easily be something to the contrary (yes, including being an anti-abortion statement). Think about this before jumping to such high-trajectory conclusions! At any rate, my mentioning of the earth-without-the-letter-"J" was only meant to alert readers to a 'sci-fi' scenario created by Robert A. Heinlein in his "philosophical fantasia" entitled "The Number of the Beast" (1980). In Heinlein's masterwork (despite less than glowing reviews from many critics), the Number of the Beast turns out not to be the familiar 666 of the Revelation of Saint John, but, rather, "six raised to its sixth power, and the result in turn raised to its sixth power", which becomes the calculated number of possible universes available to intrepid explorers using a space-time machine (along with uncountable variants thereof when one includes combinations of rotation and translation).
The earth minus "J" in the alphabet was discovered by one of the story's protagonists - a well-endowed strawberry blonde who aspires to be a Barsoomian princess (but that's another story), during the first minimal translation, and therefore, constituted proof that both the theory of N-dimensional geometry (six space-time coordinates) was valid, and that the continua device invented to explore the Number-of-the-Beast spaces actually worked.
But all is not well in our heroes' Arizona "Snug Harbor." Before the four adventurers can begin testing the thing, they find themselves the target of a hostile presence. This, they suspect, is an alien intelligence that doesn't want the Pandora's Box of transuniversal travel to be opened. So, with no time to lose (pun intended), they raid the fridge for any leftovers and squeeze into the souped-up rover, setting the controls for their initial (one quantum) translation.
In the process of testing the mechanism, as the crew soon discover, it appears that even human thoughts exist as quanta, for while making jumps into numerous parallel universes, some of these places include fictional constructs such as Oz's Emerald City (based on the series by L. Frank Baum) and Lewis Carroll's through-the-looking-glass "Wonderland." Looking for fairyland bathrooms in their nifty spaceplane (the so called "gee-whizzer" lacking certain necessary facilities), they even find themselves having strange encounters with the dramatis persona of works penned by author Heinlein, himself, in his S-F canon (prime favorites of the sightseers, of course). Along with these worlds created solely by the act of imaging them, are several nulls or blank universes waiting to be filled by some author/creator. And in the six-dimensional continua, that's where things can get really interesting both for story's protagonists and for anyone who is able to truly grasp (i.e. grok) the concept of "pantheistic multiperson solipsism."
Although many fans of Heinlein's science fiction find "The Number of the Beast" to be very confusing (and not up to par with his other works), in defending the book, some readers have offered insights as to the true meaning and significance of it. These include everything from its being a self-conscious parody of science fiction/practical joke played on his loyal audience, a cleverly disguised biography of the author's career (as well as a farewell to his friends and colleagues), and even an ingeniously-conceived manual or textbook on how to write science fiction (which explains the satire of his own earlier writings, I suppose). In the latter case, at least one Heinlein aficionado points out that one must not focus on what's happening in the foreground, but, rather, on certain literary references in the background. In this way, the storybook universes visited teach aspiring authors how to write good science fiction, while all the clichés borrowed from the pulps of the 1930s in the foreground serve as glaring examples of how NOT to do it. As if these "He's a mad scientist and I'm his beautiful daughter" distractions are not enough of a clue to this seemingly-unlikely revelation, all the space-warped sex, and what to many critics appears to be a breast fetish on Heinlein's part might be the biggest (and most telling) distraction of all, especially those exquisite features of the strawberry blonde with the anachronism of the natural cantilevering they provide for an evening formal.
However, what I have not heard anyone yet suggest is that "The Number of the Beast" also contains certain elements of the occult, possibly even offering "the keys to the city" with which to unlock its most impenetrable secrets. This observation of mine is not based on the oft-mentioned connection between Heinlein and Pasadena wizard, Jack Parsons. Nor is it because of any coded references to Thelemic principles in Heinlein's heretical "Stranger In A Strange Land." Rather, it is based on certain signposts in the prose; things that are not generally recognized by the more 'casual' practitioners of the magical arts, and which are heavily veiled in occult literature. Although there are obvious parallels with the myriad alternate universes explored by the foursome in the story and the heightened dimensions of consciousness experienced by proficient ritual magicians without 'dirty fingernails', the signpost-analogies which I'm talking about - that which signify irrelevant (i.e. instantaneous) transportation by what would seem to most to be of a rather unorthodox means are almost impossible to discern without the requisite key. So much so, in fact, that I don't believe Heinlein was consciously aware of them, but, instead, received/created them from a mysterious, seemingly less than tangible source*, as did the other authors (such as Carroll) whose stories describe tryptamine-enriched realms and provide the surreal fictional constructs in the plot. Magically-minded individuals might call this the "Higher Self", but whatever it is, it definitely appears that a shared divinity of some sort is challenging us with a grand puzzle that is, at times, beyond the conscious understanding of those literary geniuses and master storytellers 'responsible' for it.
* It might be relevant to note that Heinlein wrote "The Number of the Beast" after recovering from a serious illness. In 1978 he suffered a transient ischemic attack, this being a precursor to a cerebral stroke that involved a blockage of blood to his brain.
Although ostensibly a work of science fiction with all the trappings of that genre, including, of course, futuristic technology, in "The Number of the Beast", when the protagonists are faced with, say, the paradox of "how to rescue a person who has been dead for many centuries", the reader shouldn't necessarily accept at face value the scenario as laid out by those with a continua device and six-axis plenum of universes at their disposal. Even when this involves clones, genetic surgeons and such. Rather, I would suggest, from this corpse in question is extracted the Jewel of Divine anthropophagy. This is hinted at in the final chapter when, in the Quest for the Egg of the Phoenix, one must pierce the veil with the sword provided. All others will find themselves trapped in a specially constructed hell, which in Heinlein's novel is humorously called "The Critic's Lounge", and described as a remarkably decorated facility for which there are free passes to enter, but no exit signs, where there are plenty of typewriters but no ribbons, where there is a private bar but no liquor, and, more significantly (for those with eyes to see), a place with a lavish dining room but no kitchen. Of this facility, one of Heinlein's characters explains that there is an easy way out... that the 'critic' just has to be able to read! (even though so few 'critics' ever learn to read.) While some students of western esotericism will think that they understand the metaphor here (those who are capable of being bitten by an imaginary snake), those without 'dirty fingernails' in their search for the Glitter of the Sleepers might only find a Potemkin Village illusion tailored to their subconscious...
"HE HAS TO BE ABLE TO READ!"
Realizing that it is a science fiction staple for advanced technology such as a nuts-and-bolts, kick-the-tires continua craft to be described as having thoroughly self-aware circuitry (i.e. being sentient), if one is a mad scientist aged 49 (curiouser and curiouser said Alice), the sanctum sanctorum (Holy of Holies) is perhaps not such an unusual choice for the assembly by a screwdriver and sweat of a space-time machine. However, when "techniques for Hunting SnARKS" are on the program at a convention for interuniversal travel, I am more inclined to believe that these parallel worlds are accessible to those magicians who are capable of "pulling a hat out of a rabbit."
No doubt some critics of this idea will claim that in "the Number of the Beast" Heinlein has merely pushed the boundaries of science fiction into magical realism with these references to hunting SnARKS, boojum-villians, and other nonsensical creatures that inhabit realms once considered to be fictional until opened up by the Burroughs apparatus. To those, rather than point to the thirteen steps leading to a fancy lounge (decorated by Escher, no less) with plenty of typewriters, I would suggest a careful examination of some of the more illuminating passages in the final chapter. For it is here, amid the circus atmosphere at the convocation of the Interuniversal Society that delegates from many cultures in all of known space discuss in (albeit) a rather oblique manner, certain riddles left by Carroll and others, and, at times, the S-F characters', cardboard cutouts or otherwise, takes on these "demented fugues" of our childhood can be rather eye-opening. (In any case, take the author's advice: Don't go into that lounge - you are not a critic!)
It is also important to keep in mind that the enemy "Black Hats" have infiltrated this spectacularly-unlikely gathering (having been enticed to it, actually), and are wearing multiple disguises. But, as many Heinlein readers have noticed, all of the Black Hats in the book are anagrams of the author himself (or of his wife, or pen names of Heinlein). This might be an inside joke in a satire of the author's own earlier writings,, and/or as part of the lesson in plot structure if the book is indeed a textbook on how not to write bad S-F and how to write good S-F. But it could also be something wholly unsuspected by even the most devout Heinleinite in See-What-You-Expect clothing illusion and wearing spectacles "that see through the thickest mist." What is certain, however, is that the Black Hats share many characteristics with the Black Brothers of occultism and the mysterious Men In Black of UFO lore. Just like the bizarre, robotic MIB that haunt the annuals of ufology, in "The Number of the Beast", the Black Hat-boojums appear in an official capacity (with dubious I.D. cards of their stated authority), speak in stilted B-movie clichés, make threats as if determined to keep certain things from being known (in this case, the knowledge of six-dimensional non-Euclidean geometry), and are, for the most part, totally inept at enforcing their threats (like those pesky things who head back to their black Caddy when their batteries run down, or ask serious questions while attempting to consume Dr. Pepper with a knife and fork).
Similarly, in Lewis Carroll's dark poem, while hunting for the elusive SnARK, if one should by chance encounter such a wonderful thing, if it turns out to be a boojum, the person will "softly and suddenly vanish away and never be met with again." This sounds a lot like the hollow threats of the MIB after someone alleges to have experienced something of an otherworldly nature. But it also sounds like the warning that comes with certain grimoires. Is this why a puzzled academician once said: "It is not children who ought to read the words of Lewis Carroll, they are far better employed making mud pies." If so, then something else to consider is that, in Carroll's 'nonsense' poem of "the impossible voyage of an improbable crew [guided by a blank map] to find an inconceivable creature" it would appear that the inherent danger of a snARK - one that is a boojum, that is, is particularly so for the crew member known as the Baker. Could the Baker (alchemist?) be more vulnerable simply because he is the only one capable of finding the SnARK - the Stone of the Philosophers that many seek with their athanors, and various alchemical implements. (NOTE: With regards to the Baker being the most vulnerable to the SnARK-Boojum, those of another school of thought - who think that it was the crew member known as the Boots [a shoe shiner] who did the Baker in, should keep in mind that, while not exactly turning dross into gold, a shoe shiner takes something dull and makes it... shine.)
Although the "Hunting of the Snark" is certainly one of the most analyzed poems ever written and, hence, subject to numerous interpretations, many baffled scholars suspect that it contains a hidden message, and this is usually thought to be the repeating stanza:
"They sought it with thimbles, they sought it with care;
They pursued it with forks and hope;
They threatened its life with a railway-share;
They charmed it with smiles and soap."
While some believe that this refers to the treatment by doctors to patients in insane asylums in the late 19th century London, I would like to suggest that it might very well be a cryptic allusion to something that, like the SnARK itself, eludes all those children (i.e. the uninitiated) making mud pies with their little fingers, and the line "They threatened its life with a railway-share" offers us the best clue. Having said this, unless you believe that he was a closet magician of the highest order, if a conservative like Lewis Carroll did receive knowledge of the Jewel of Divine Anthropophagy (also known as "The Dream of the Dreamless") then it was undoubtedly revealed by a source that he was not consciously aware of (perhaps similar to how H. P. Lovecraft was able to conceive of the Cthulhu Mythos and the dreaded Necronomicon, which occultist Kenneth Grant believes to be an astral grimoire). When repeatedly asked what the poem meant, Carroll repeatedly claimed that he didn't know, asking those: "Are you able to explain things which you don't yourself understand?" Even more enigmatic, perhaps, is that he said that the poem "pieced itself together." Those of you who like occult riddles and allegorical works that make use of the langue verte might appreciate this particular stanza in The Hunting of the SnARK:
"I engage with the SnARK every night after dark
In a dreamy, delirious fight;
I serve it with greens in those shadowy scenes,
And I use it for striking a light."
But getting back to Heinlein's World-as-Myth concept, when the protagonists first encounter a Black Hat-boojum, they don't softly and suddenly vanish away - IT does (shades of the Grail). In fact, during the course of our adventures' journeys, there is no real evidence that the baddies represent a hostile alien intelligence bent on suppressing the knowledge of transuniversal travel. With its various masks (but usually appearing as a uniformed 'guardian' type, such as a Federal Forest Ranger and Interspace Patrol Agent), it would seem to represent a particular facet of a person who is fearful of losing his/her ego-individuality while experimenting with other dimensions of reality. This might explain why at least one of the crew fears being erased from the 'script' after questioning whether or not they, too, are fictional constructs dreamt into existence by some master storyteller! And in the dramatic final scene, at the convention that was called especially to entice just such a beast, when recognized through its thin disguise (remember, the names of all the Black Hats in the story are anagrams of its author), the thing attempts to cross back over the vast, flaming Rainbow Bridge by which one gains entrance into the otherworld (i.e. other dimension of consciousness) inhabited by dead heroes... Which brings me to this: Dare we consider that the boojums arrived in the story in an attempt to suppress the transferal of esoteric knowledge from the mysterious source slowly initiating those able to decode the allegory? If so, are their threats to be taken seriously? Or are they intended to draw attention to this wisdom?
"L'ENVOI"
So now that you've embraced the concept of multiple-ego solipsism, and are sitting there in your Snug harbor with a one-eyed Texas honeybutter stack, before you install a continua widget in your sporty roadable and set the verniers in order to leave Universe-Zero (your point of origin) to catch a Tool gig in one or more of the base-six spaces where the band plays "Abomination of Desolation" or "Balchipushti", or "Crawl Away" (from "Aenima"* - it was, after all, a minimum translation), you might want to pack a few things for the trip. I would suggest a Tervis Tumbler traveler with a lid and flexible straw, a bottle of raspberry-flavored Lomine for nausea, an up-to-date brochure listing the storybook universes with clean bathrooms, and the manual entitled "Techniques for Hunting SnARKS." As for some advice about the after-show extravaganza: If you're on the Red Carpet (located directly behind the 'Potemkin Village' stage) looking for Danny with a green pen, and happen to encounter a rather large Venerian dragon with a cockney lisp, be prepared to draw the right sword (ladies - that chocolate candy 'purse' pistol which you got through the venue security personnel might do). And if someone offers you free passes to the Critic's Lounge, keep in mind that, while there's a private bar, it's not stocked.
And finally my beamish friends: the universe that lacks the letter 'J' is one thing, but if the show is in the ZPG Sector (ruled by the anti-Pharzuph - Pharzuph being the Angel of Fornication, you see), be damned sure to watch out for any boojum-erasers in See-What-You-Expect clothing illusion and black Homburgs!!!
"THE SILENCE IS UNNATURAL. LISTEN TO IT."
It had been over 25 years since I had read "The Number of the Beast", but after picking it up again a few months ago, I began to think about the suggestion made by one Heinleinite that the novel was actually a cleverly disguised textbook. I remembered that he said that one shouldn't focus on what's happening in the foreground, but should instead pay careful attention to the literary references in the back ground if one wants to learn how to write good S-F from the master of that genre. With this in mind, I decided to take his advice, not with "The Number of the Beast", but with another book of which I had long suspected there was more than meets the eye. This was a thriller published in 1948 by Bernard Newman, and entitled "The Flying Saucer." As I wrote at length in my chapter of the DailyGrail anthology, DARKLORE, VOLUME I (see: "Incredible As It May Seem" by Blair MacKenzie Blake), I was convinced that the author had led a secret double life, and was almost certainly a British intelligence agent who had a great deal of knowledge about the purported crash/retrieval of an alien spacecraft near Roswell, New Mexico back in 1947. Although I used numerous cryptic passages in Newman's book to bolster my case that the whole Roswell affair was a deliberately contrived psychological warfare tool by an elite group who wanted to make the public receptive to the idea of a UFO threat, at the same time I mentioned that the book probably contained more revelations that I hadn't yet discovered, or, as I wrote: "Perhaps I didn't yet have the correct mordant needed to render the invisible ink of the book's cryptic passages visible as if by Majik." However, after a closer examination of certain things in the background (as opposed to all the 1930s-style pulp clichés in the foreground of the narrative), I was able to discern further revelations from the shadowy informant, who even seemed to challenge me with the words "don't you see?" after mentioning "the very slight deviation of the picture from its previous position."
The clue as to where to look for certain answers regarding a staged UFO event came when one of the protagonists began talking about the game "Snakes & Ladders." It would now seem to me that the code is laid out in the numerical sequence of dice-throw moves on the board. For those who are able to obtain a copy of this rather scarce publication, consider that the person in question was on square 94, and needed a 6 to win, but threw a 5 and landed on 99, where he was penalized and had to go back to square 22. Substitute the number of the squares mentioned with page numbers in the novel, and you might see why the person says of this unfortunate roll of the dice: "And I could not say what I thought because of the presence of the child." Was this Newman's way of telling us that he couldn't openly divulge what he knew about the Roswell Incident to his readers, they being in the public sector (i.e. children)? After the sentence, he seems to confirm this by adding: "So now you see my position."
"A COKE AND OLIVES, PLEASE"
Coincidently enough, only days after making this possible new discovery, I experienced something that those familiar with tangential phenomena might find rather interesting, if not down right bizarre. In the late afternoon on New Year's Eve, while sitting in a near empty local bar, having (ONE) drink with my girlfriend and another lady friend (that's not the bizarre part), a man entered the place with a somewhat strange gait and repeated three times with a mechanized precision the following: "DO YOU REMEMBER ME? DO YOU REMEMBER ME? DO YOU REMEMBER ME? He then ordered from the lady bartender a "coke and olives." Now, although this fellow wasn't olive-skinned, nor did he have an Asiatic cast, and didn't exactly look like the type who would ask to borrow a cup of salt with which to take a pill, I nevertheless looked down from my perch for any thick-soled shoes or even for green wires attached to his socks. There were none, and by all appearances this was a meat person. But it was after what he did next that made me think I was going to be harassed or threatened before the ectoplasmic figure in the black sweater and knit cap who placed dozens of olives in his glass of Coke vanished in a sulphurous stench (well, I at least looked outside for any black Cadillac enshrouded by a yellow mist that might carry him away). It wasn't when he - not being an employee of the bar - began to release balloons inside the place that I recalled something that happened earlier in the day. No, it was when he picked up a broom and began to sweep little bits of aluminum foil-debris out the door that I recalled my girlfriend seemingly randomly pointing to a turquoise-colored spine of an old book among hundreds on the same shelf, and asking me what it was. It was Gray Barker's 1956 printing of "They Knew Too Much About Flying Saucers" I told her. (Care to guess what was on television when I returned from the bar? Keeping in mind that I don't have cable, but only rabbit-ears for which to get poor reception of six channels max, it could probably be seen as just another coincidence that what was showing was "Men In Black II".)
"SWEPT OUT OUR BACK DOOR"
"We all went back into the house, and my mother swept the floor, because some of the smaller pieces of the materials were still on the floor. Therefore, a few tiny fragments were just swept out our back door." Incredible as it may seem, this is what Jesse Marcel Jr. says in his new book ("The Roswell Legacy" 2007) when talking about the strange metallic debris that his intelligence officer father collected from the Foster Ranch, and what he truly believed at the time to be of extraterrestrial origin. Let me repeat that. What he truly believed at the time to be of extraterrestrial origin. What! When I first read this in William Moore's 1980 book entitled "The Roswell Incident" I thought surely this was a misprint. But here it is again, right from Marcel Jr,'s own mouth, the person who was actually there... who witnessed first hand the anomalous material that so excited his father, and which caused him to awaken his then eleven-year old son in the middle of the night to show him such marvelous stuff. Call me crazy, but wouldn't even a tiny piece of debris from a crashed spacecraft of alien manufacture be worth keeping? In fact, if you think about it, ONLY a tiny piece would be worth keeping.
People should be flocking to the house at 1300 West Seventh Street, Roswell, New Mexico right now, sifting through every square inch of the property for anything shiny that may have been swept out the back door over 60 years ago! That I KNOW that the real Men In Black, with or without bulging thyroid eyes and freakishly long fingers, got to Jesse Marcel Jr. is evident in another passage in his book, and I'll tell you, this one's a real doozy! According to Marcel Jr., his father, an avid Ham radio operator, "made friends with some Japanese operators living in San Francisco in 1939-40." After visiting them once, he was "astounded when he saw their equipment - huge assemblies capable of transmitting fifty kilowatts, far greater than the capacity of your typical amateur operator's rig. Their apartment, beyond being filled with a mass of radio equipment, afforded them a panoramic view of San Francisco Bay. After the war, my father learned that his fellow 'hobbyists' were actually Japanese spies." AFTER THE WAR, JESSE!!! This is Jesse Marcel Sr., soon to be the Intelligence Officer of the elite 509th... the first person to handle the debris of what is believed to be an extraterrestrial vehicle, fragments of which he let his wife sweep out the back door. Damn, perhaps it really was just an ordinary weather balloon. More likely, though, the powers that be don't want us to know the real truth. That we... all of us... are merely fictional constructs in a near infinite number of universes, and that those from another space-time crashed here back in 1947 while attempting to visit their favorite story in a sporty continua craft. Unfortunately for them (and us, as well), those who found them were boojum-erasers who probably eat their lime Jell-O with a straw.
HAPPY TRAILS
BMB
From all that money that he saved living in a cave with roommate Justin, Danny and Rynne were finally able to go to Maui. But don't worry, it's not all about dolphins, humpback whales, purple potatoes, Mai-Tais, and Hawaiian sunsets. Danny took along the trusty Nagra RCX220 to gather samples for the Mandala pads (no, that's not an electric razor), and tomorrow he's going into the forest in search of some rare (acacia) koa wood for a new kit. Gotta have that unique jeweled luster on stage. If you give me a minute, I'll put some more shots of the two enjoying time in Maui up in the TA photo album section. Oh... did you hear the one about the girl in the yellow volkswagen?
Photo by Danny Carey
BMB
Here's the message on Aloke's website: "Aloke is feeling far better now. He is sitting on a chair, talking normally, but still being monitored at the Intensive Therapy Unit." Good news, indeed. All of your well wishes and kind words are greatly appreciated. Damn, I expect to read that he's playing those Bengali bongos... any day now.
www.alokedutta.com
Aloke has been released from the hospital in India. Great news, indeed!
BMB
Unless you've been living in a cave like these two guys, y'all know about JZ's Monday Night Jammmz at The Baked Potato in Universal City. However, what you might not know is that John has now put something together with a few of the musicians from "Zappa Plays Zappa" (Jamie Kime, Pete Griffin and Joe Travers) and the result... "Lyfe Pardners" will be performing at the 'spud' on TUESDAY, FEB 5th. Way to go, JZ, you won't have to move your amp and all those gizmos.
BMB
A photo of JUSTIN AND SHELEE visiting Jimi Hendrix's grave. I've put a few other shots of Justin in the ToolArmy PHOTO ALBUMS, including a visit to Bruce Lee's grave, and one taken with goalkeeper Marcus Hahnemann. In the album called "DAATH", there's also a photo of Tool FOH soundman 'KNOBBY' attempting to channel Jimi... or perhaps he's just grokking him (afterall, he was from Mars, wasn't he!)
BMB
According to Aloke's website, although the tabla master is still in intensive care, he is now conscious and talking slowly... (knowing Aloke, he probably asked for his tabla)
BMB
ALOKE DUTTA has suffered a major heart attack while visiting his family in India. From what I've been told (from Danny via Aaron Harris), Aloke has recently undergone a complex (and risky) grafting bypass procedure and is now in the recovery stage. I know that I speak for everyone here when I say that our thoughts are with him. Aloke's website will have updates on his condition, and if I get any further news from his friends and/or tabla students I'll be sure to post it. In the meantime, keep him in your thoughts and TOGETHER let's hope he makes it through this so that we can all once again enjoy his musical ability, friendship, and great sense of humor.
BMB
Mercury is retrograde today, and that can only mean one thing: HUBCAP CORRAL (featuring JOHN ZEIGLER and company) will be performing at THE BAKED POTATO tonight in Los Angeles (3787 Cahuenga Blvd. W. Studio City, Ca.). So check them out if you're in the neighborhood, and maybe bring your axe and join in. It's sure to make your spurs jangle!
BLACK MATH HORSEMAN & MOTHER TONGUE AT SAFARI SAMS
Also, just a friendly reminder that our friend SASHA POPOVIC will be doing double duty on Thursday, JANUARY 31 at SAFARI SAMS, banging the skins with both MOTHER TONGUE and BLACK MATH HORSEMAN. SAFARI SAMS is located at 5214 W. Sunset Blvd. Hollywood, CA. Doors are at 8:PM. Black Math Horseman go on at 9:30, with MOTHER TONGUE taking the stage at 10:00 PM. $6 cover, ALL AGES! We hope to see you there. (myspace/mothertongue)
BMB
Here's some tour dates for our friends in TRANS AM:
Feb 1 Kings Arms - Auckland, NZ
Feb 2 San Francisco Bath House - Wellington, NZ
Feb 5 Camp A Low Hum - Levin, NZ
Feb 7 Oxford Art Factory - Sydney, AUS
Feb 8 Gallery of Modern Art - Brisbane, AUS
Feb 9 East Brunswick Club - Melbourne, AUS
Feb 10 The Espy, St Kilda Festival - Melbourne, AUS
BMB
It appears that our friend CHET ZAR will also be painting tonight at Alex and Allyson Grey's CoSM BENIFIT at CLUB 740 in Los Angeles. (www.chetzar.com and www.cosm.org)
BMB
"TICKETS - YOU'RE HOLDING UP THE LINE."
As I mentioned in the December newsletter, those of you who possess a Burroughs continua device and are engaged in space-time manipulation are probably getting ready to enjoy the Tool show in some alternate Universe (one where Danny signs autographs in ink the color of a deadly green nebula, and the audience's cigarettes/narcotic sticks are lit by the analog-Scott's palette of lasers). However, my beamish friends (i.e. astrogators), if you did set the verniers of your wonder buggy (no doubt laden with Tool decals), for ALUOSSIM, watch out for the ticket takers as well as any venue security personnel lest they be boojums and you softly and suddenly vanish away (especially if you happen to be a baker!) But if you don't get this warning in time, and haven't yet been ERASED, though it might seem to be catering to ghouls, the analog-MJK (provided this is not the universe without the letter "J") should remind you over the voder. [Are you sure, friend Blair?]. Of course you could just bounce back to this time-axis via the continua widget, and thus be informed of any possible Black Homburgs in the building.
(NOTE: The above paragraph is excerpted from the January 17, 2008 e.v. Tool Newsletter which, when posted in its entirety (on that date) was latter deemed by certain individuals to be a bit too revealing in certain matters. Using a continua mechanism placed in a silver roadable now capable of irrelevant (i.e. instantaneous) transportation, I therefore made a minimal (one quantum) translation from my point of origin and deleted the piece, which I will make the neccessary changes to and post in the near future.)
"For the SnARK's a peculiar creature, that won't
Be caught in a commonplace way.
Do all that you know, and try all that you don't:
Not a chance must be wasted to-day!"
Lewis Carroll (The Hunting of the Snark)
A sign of things to come?.. or some analog-Danny in an alternate universe in one of the "Number of the Beast" spaces?
BMB
Please note that tomorrows (JANUARY 18) CoSM BENEFIT (featuring ALEX GREY) has been moved to the spacious CLUB 740 in downtown Los Angeles (740 SOUTH BROADWAY). For more information, click HERE
BMB
If you're visiting Los Angeles for the NAMM SHOW, I'd like to remind you that some of the city's best musicians will be playing in the local clubs. This includes HUMAN ELEMENT which features the extraordinary avant garde keyboardist/composer SCOTT KINSEY, along with ARTO TUNCBOYACIYAN, STEVE TAVAGLIONE, MATT GARRISON, and GARY NOVAK. The guys will be performing two shows at the LA VE LEE jazz club in STUDIO CITY on FRIDAY, JANUARY 18 (12514 Ventura Blvd, at Whitisett, between Laurel Canyon and Coldwater). For reservations, please call 818-980-8158. $15.00 cover. Show times are 9:30 and 11:00 PM. For more info, go HERE or to www.laveleejazzclub.com
VOLTO!
Also, remember that DANNY, KIRK, LANCE and JOHN Z will be playing at THE KNITTING FACTORY in HOLLYWOOD tomorrow night (THURSDAY, JANUARY 17), so if tickets are still available, you might want to get them now. VOLTO! We hope to see you there.
BMB
Birthday greetings to our friend SASHA POPOVIC who has just returned from vacation in dreary Avalon, Australia (yes, I'm kidding). After a day or so to celebrate his special day, it's back to work for the BUTCHER, MOTHER TONGUE, BLACK MATH HORSEMAN, etc. drummer. You can catch the Los Angeles-based rock/pyschedelic group, MOTHER TONGUE here at SAFARI SAMS on JANUARY 31, a warm-up for several dates in GERMANY. Check out their myspace site for dates (myspace/mothertongue). In the meantime, CHEERS to Sasha (and to KAT), and welcome home!
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Birthday greetings and cheers from Camella and the entire Tool family! Here's a photo of you hard at work (just to remind you how good it is to have your b.d. off). Again, CHEERS my friend!
photo - Rynne
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Here's the latest addition to the family... Rynne and Danny's new buddy, LEVI... and on the "Egyptian Patio" no less.
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Here's a note from our friend CHET ZAR about an art show that both he and his FATHER are involved in: "Just wanted to drop a quick line that myself and my father, James Zar will be in a show together Thursday night at Blink Digital in Santa Monica. I have one piece in the group show and my Dad will be one of the featured artists and will have five of his pieces on display. We will both be in attendance- plus, there will be free food and drinks! Come out and say hello and meet the man who is partially responsible for my artistic madness."
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You all should probably know that the PUSCIFER "QUEEN B." DVD (directed by MEATS MEIER) is now out. Also, a "Queen B." 7" VINYL is now in the working, along with a VIDEO FOR DoZo (again, with Meats Meier directing). And finally, CUNTRY BONER "just won't go down"... (sorry, but I had to poach that from MJK), and was... #1 four weeks in a row on the BILLBOARD HOT DANCE TRACKS chart. For more info, I recommend that you visit www.puscifer.com
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VICARIOUS
Eye on the t.v cuz tragedy thrills me.
Whatever flavor it happens to be.
(like)
Killed by the husband...
drowned by the ocean...
Shot by his own son...
she used a poison in his tea, Then she kissed him goodbye.
That's My kinda story
It's no fun till someone dies.
Don't look at me like I am a monster.
Frown out your one face but with the other you
Stare like a junkie into the t.v.
Stare like a zombie
while the mother holds her child. Watches him die.
Hands to the sky, cryin' "why, oh why?"
Cuz I need to watch things die, from a distance.
Vicariously, I live while the whole world dies.
You all need it too don't lie.
Why can't we just admit it?
We won't give pause till the blood is flowing.
Neither the brave nor bold nor brightest of stories told,
We won't give pause till the blood is flowing.
i need to watch things die, from a good safe distance.
Vicariously, i live while the whole world dies.
you all feel the same so why can't we just admit it?
Blood like rain come down. Drum on grave and ground.
Part Vampire, Part warrior, Carnivore, and Voyeur
Stare at the transmittal. Sing to the death rattle
Credulous at best, your desire to believe in angels in the hearts of men.
Pull your head on out your hippy haze and give a listen.
Shouldn't have to say it all again.
The universe is hostile. so Impersonal. devour to survive.
So it is. So it's always been.
We all feed on tragedy. It's like Blood to a vampire.
vicariously, I live while the whole world dies.
Much better you than i.
Words
by
MAYNARD JAMES KEENAN
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There will be a benefit party for ALEX GREY's CHAPEL OF SACRED MIRRORS (CoSM) at CRASH MANSION in Los Angeles on FRIDAY, JANUARY 18. The party will include LIVE PAINTING by Alex and Allyson Grey, a screening of TOOL's "Vicarious" video (as well as the 'making of' documentary), future CoSM news, psychedelic audiovisuals and more. Crash Mansion is located at 1024 S. Grand Ave, L.A., CA., and additional info is available at the CoSM website This is a 21 or older event.
VENUE HAS MOVED TO CLUB 740 - 740 SOUTH BROADWAY, L.A.
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VOLTO! (Danny Carey, Kirk Covington, Lance Morrison and John Ziegler) will be performing at THE KNITTING FACTORY MAIN STAGE (Hollywood) on Thursday, JANUARY 17. Opening for the band will be "Gryphon Labs" (with members of "Zappa Plays Zappa"). Advanced tickets are suggested as Volto! usually sells out. For additional information, please visit the Volto! site or www.theknittingfactory.com. Those in town for the NAMM Show might also want to check out (or join in on) John Ziegler's MONDAY NIGHT JAMMMZ at the Baked Potato club in Universal City (3787 Cahuenga Blvd. W. - 818-980-1615). We hope to see you there.
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Birthday greetings and love from Danny and all your friends... and a big thanks from me for sharing your photos of the band! Now, where are the glasses?
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Spend Kat's and my favorite holiday, The Eve of New Year's Eve, with THE MELVINS at ECHOPLEX in Echo Park (Sunday, December 30, 2007 e.v.). The address is 1154 Glendale Blvd. Echo Park. We hope to see you there!
$16.00 Advance
$18.00 Door
9 PM
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One last shot that was taken by Rynne.
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TOOL NEWSLETTER
DECEMBER 2007 E.V.
TOOL TREK:
TECHNIKRYM'S LOG - DECEMBER 26, 2007 E.V.
With the mini-tour now complete, and the band members having had a chance to enjoy the holiday (knowing very well that Esus is the reason for the season!), Captain Kaczka and the rest of the crew are already making preparations for the transition from the APOCATASTSIS-GRID into hyperspatial time, leaving the onomic (not to mention the cloaconimbus of the prisons of the qlipoth) of EARTH 23 in a caravan of mattermitter tour coaches for the parallel dimension (ZPG Sector, ruled by the anti-Pharzuph). Although the neolexical coding remains a secret (suffice it to say that the palingenesis circuit [biode] of the Zothyrian module allows one safe passage through the Themis Ring-Pass-Not, and with arithmosophical reduction, a newly-installed psion reactor and, of course, fueled by the kalas of Etidorhpa that is so favored by the Nemirions of Rigel in our own multiverse... as well as the Lamulos in the galaxy of Ganymede), first stop on the tour will be the ADYTUM THEATRE in ALUOSSIM (where things are fairly similar to Earth 23, except for a recent infestation of squatamaudars, snork whompers, and that there are no future Xaphanaut marchstrothers!.. Also, strangely enough, that there is NO letter 'j' in the alphabet). Through the ansibles device of the Pheonistic Continuum, in the spirit of the holidays and the concept of emantiodroma, I can tell you that the unanimously agreed upon set list for the first performance is as follows:
OVERTURE
THE GRUDGE
STINKFIST
CRAWL AWAY
ABOMINATION OF DESOLATION
(from "Bethlehem Abortion Clinic")
ROSETTA STONED
PUSHIT
(Salival variation)
EULOGY
PARABOL/PARABOLA
VICARIOUS
INTERMISSION
(featuring self-pheonisme music from enhaloed-phosters
in the audience without a letter J in their name)
BALCHIPUSHTI
(from "Nurse Ketimella's Kit*chen')
TIMMY
DISPOSITION
REFLECTION
TRIA(X)
NO QUARTER
(sung in Sen-Zar)
LATERALUS
OCELLUS FRONTIS
OPIATE
FAAIP de OIAD
(Performed as a live hidden track on Danny's orichalcum drum kit
with parasemiotic glyph sample-triggers designed by Vince De Franco)
Pre-sales for this show and the second 0-1Notnanas show (on the intercalary) will go on sale Thursday, Anuary 17th. So be sure to bring your cameras, video recording devices, cigarettes, oints (but NO lighters please - "Beam-Me-Up Scott" will light these with his lasers), and ToolArmy membership card for back-stage passes and the after-show extravaganza! You might also want to bring a green pen if you want Danny to sign the newly released live DVD (only in the ZPG Sector ruled by the anti-Pharzuph, that is.)
ANKH (W)UD*A(T) SENEB
(May you live, be prosperous, and be healthy)
Photoshop uber-geekdom of "The Bridge" (i.e. F.O.H. CREW)
By
Mary *O Kaczka
Tool Tour Manager
HAPPY TRAILS
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Rynne and Danny will miss their buddy...
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19 hours straight in Brazil for a crowd of 25,000! Which reminds me, you might still be able to purchase a copy of the VICARIOUS DVD SIGNED BY ALEX (who co-directed it with Adam) at his site . Alex and Allyson have also written a glossy kaleidoscope of a book dealing with the many facets of The Chapel of Sacred Mirrors that is absolutely loaded with artwork and photos, including a very nice stage shot of Tool (with the Sacred Mirrors banners used on the Lateralus tour) that was taken by Eli Morgan. If you've never visted CoSM in person, this book is the next best thing. The title is: COSM, and it's available in the on-line store here
BMB
Just a friendly reminder to those of you who live in Los Angeles or who are visiting what is most certainly "The City of Angels" during the holidays that Danny, Kirk, Lance, and John Z will be performing at the Baked Potato on Thursday night, December 20th, for two shows. More details below.
BMB
As I'm sure many of you know, the VICARIOUS VIDEO/DVD was released today (December 18). So if you haven't already obtained one by other means, brave the elements, the traffic, and the person ringing the bell and pick one up at Best Buy or elsewhere.
BMB
Danny broke this drum contraption during the Everett, Washington show. I still say that it was the box of Quisp that he ate every day as a child that is to blame...
photo: Rynne
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Here's another one of the TOOL EVENT POSTERS (from the Spokane show) with some nice added touches by ADAM. Look for others that are signed and/or embellished with original art at the merch area of the venue.
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SUBJECTIVE REALITY ART SHOW
A JOURNEY INTO THE NEO-PSYCHEDELIC ART MOVEMENT
Our friend and Tool art contributor MEATS MEIER has a couple of pieces of HOLOGRAPHIC ARTWORK on display at the HAROLD GOLEN GALLERY in MIAMI, FLORIDA (in the Wynwood Art District) at 2921 North West 6th Avenue (Miami). For additional information, please visit the gallery or call them at 305-576-1880. One of the openings is today (Dec 8) and CHET ZAR also has a piece on display.
And speaking of Chet, here's a note about some art that he has for sale:
"CoproNason gallery has put 2 new canvas giclee prints online in their webstore, "Black Magick" and "I Want You". They are a whopping 30x40" and stretched on stretcher bars- both came out beautifully and look nearly identical to the original paintings. Since the printing is wrapped all the way around the edge they are ready to hang with or without a frame. They are signed, numbered and limited to 30 each. The price is really affordable for prints of this size and quality- only $450 each. We expect them to go quick now that they are online (both editions of my "Black Magick" paper prints sold out fast), so order soon! These are 2 of my most popular images and the largest and highest quality prints (and my only canvas giclees) I have released so far. They would make the perfect holiday gift for anybody who is a fan or collector of mywork."
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A very nice shot taken by Rynne at the Portland, Oregon show. With the caption, Danny is no doubt commenting on the size of the performers on stage as opposed to the overall show!
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Tool has been nominated for a GRAMMY AWARD - "THE POT" for BEST HARD ROCK PERFORMANCE.
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Congratulations to ANN (the assistant to Tool's manager) and her husband, Ray on the birth of their son Keean Chien Callahan... at midnight. Yes, I had to do a double-take, too, but I'm pretty sure that's not a typo... and it's Keean.
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TU (Pat Mastelotto and Trey Gunn from King Crimson) will be opening the show early tonight in Portland at the Memorial Coliseum, so you might want to get there sooner than later.
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photo: Rynne
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VOLTO!
returns to THE BAKED POTATO in Studio City on Thursday, DECEMBER 20th for two shows. For advanced tickets ($25.00), please call 818-980-1615 AFTER 7:00 PM.
MONDAY NIGHT JAMMMZ
JOHN ZIEGLER (Volto!) and company will be performing at the "tator" tonight (DEC 3), as well as on most Monday nights. Although local musicians are invited to bring their instruments and join in during the second set, I have a pretty good feeling that SOMETHING SPECIAL is going to happen at the splendid spud tonight. So, you might want to come down to check it out... with or without your axe. We hope to see you there.
THE BAKED POTATO
3787 CAHUENGA BLVD., WEST
STUDIO CITY, CA. 818-980-1615
BMB
Regrettably, MONDAY'S SHOW IN MISSOULA, MONTANA has been POSTPONED due to illness. Maynard has a viral infection in his throat and has been instructed by his doctor to get some rest.
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Thanks, Rynne!
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TOOL NEWSLETTER,
NOVEMBER 2007 E.V.
Originally I had planned on making this newsletter a holiday catalog of sorts, but since certain merch-related goodies haven't yet been sorted out by the band, their manager, and by Santa "Merch" himself, I'll include these specialty items in the December issue (to be posted shortly, ah swah!).
In the meantime, having just returned from the Lone Star State (and a couple of days in New Orleans), I can tell you that I managed to find the 'genuinely' haunted painting in Austin's historic Driskill Hotel (built in 1886). This is the painting of a little girl holding flowers that many visitors report feeling dizzy, sick, and even experiencing strange physical "lifting"sensations while viewing it. Although it is said to be hanging on a wall in the plush hallway of the 3rd floor, it is actually on the 5th floor (it might have been moved from the 3rd floor back in 1999). I know this because Laralee and I systematically checked every painting on every floor (probably a hundred or so oil paintings in ornate frames amid the other Texas décor), narrowing the 'haunted little girl holding flowers' down to three possible candidates before determining the 'right' one, and this without any ghost hunting equipment (infrared thermal scanners, EMF meters, ultrasonic listening devices, etc.).
While riding a quirky elevator (with the foul lingering of cigar smoke, no doubt from someone oblivious to Texas laws), and taking gloomy staircases in the wee hours, I'm sorry to say that we didn't encounter any ghostly apparitions - the only souls up at that time being some guy checking his watch, a woman who must have gone on one helluva shopping spree (judging by all the bags* she had with her in the elevator - what stores were open at 3:30 AM!), and a short lady with an outrageously big hat that bumped into us (she did apologize, though, mumbling something about being confused). But getting back to the haunted painting, although we didn't have reactions to viewing it that others have described, there was something eerie about it - something that just didn't seem right, and I believe this may have had to do with the background. I'm not a card carrying paranormal investigator (at least when it comes to hotel hauntings), but I think it is worth mentioning that the floorboards under the carpet in front of the painting are a bit warped, and there is a vent of some kind on the ceiling above it. This wouldn't explain the painting changing colors or the feelings of vertigo and downright dread that some have claimed, but it might be responsible for some of the anomalous physical sensations also described. Needless to say, if I wasn't busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor (where a giggling girl bounced a rubber ball), then I'd investigate this 'inanimate' specter further, maybe even go looking for orbs, cold spots, fireballs and, of course, slimers. But get this: Later that night, I might have seen the famous "Houston Bride", not in room 29 where she killed herself back in the early 1990s, but bending over the sink in my own bathroom (on the 8th floor) in the middle of what could be described as a Technicolor yawn. I ain't a woofin either! And let me tell you, THAT was scary, especially knowing that a glass (er, snifter) of Remy Martin Louis III costs $125.00... and it was the cognac spectaculaire that she was abusing.
* In all my born days, I aint never seen so many shopping bags!
While on the subject of ghosts. I keep reading where BMB was seen at the recent Tool show in Austin. Well, it wasn't me, y'all... possibly my doppelganger with a lamie, but I think T*** would detect that, and have the damn thing banished. So far I've only attended the Houston and NOLA shows, and I must say both were remarkable, with the Houston show being one of the best I've ever seen (Junior's lighting blew me away, as did the rest of the stage projections, intricate laser tracery, etc., ad infinitum). As part of the "Make A Wish Foundation", afterwards the Houstonian and I hitched a ride to New Orleans on Danny and Justin's tour coach. With an oil refinery or some other industrial plant having exploded earlier on (definitely not an alien mothership landing, though), leaving I-10 shut down, it was a bumpy ride on the alternate route (?), and the jams of a Pawtucket (RI) duo called "Lightning Bolt" (played several times by Breck, so it seemed to my bleeding ears) made getting any sleep all the more difficult. But the really important thing here is that when it finally came time for a nightcap - a shot of Vodka as suggested by a drummer, or a bass player, or by "Knobby" (FOH Engineer), the bottle taken from the cabinet only had about a half of an inch of liquor left in it. All the drummer, or the bass player, or Knobby could do is shrug and explain that it was just too early in the tour. They hadn't accumulated a fully stocked traveling bar yet. But who do you think carries a flask in their backpack (instead of ghostbusting gizmos?) I'll give you a hint: It wasn't a doppelganger at the Austin show (a doppelganger in Kelowna BC, perhaps, but not in Austin). Let this be a lesson to the "Lightning Bolt" guys in RI who seem, at times, to actually be performing inside liquor cabinets, and that's not a "this is how small RI is" jab!
Upon our arrival at the venue in NOLA, as Laralee and I scraped ourselves off the bus (the others still sleeping) and went in search of our hotel near the French Quarter, I couldn't help but notice that, although it was only about 8:00 AM (or even earlier), someone was already camped out in front of the entrance. Boy, the following those guys in "Trans AM" have is almost fanatical I remember thinking as I tried to get my bearings straight.
Unlike the Driskill or even the Le Pavilion, our hotel wasn't haunted. Of course I was so tired that any ethereal presence with bad intent or just good-natured mischief making would need to have the patience of a Saint. The combined snoring alone would, in all likeliness, be more efficacious than Egon and Venkman's nuclear accelerative machinery. And sleep we did, right up to show time...
As I've already mentioned, the NOLA show was great. Danny and Justin's ladies had flown in, so the FOH was well stocked with Stellas. Although Buzz (Melvins) had decided not to join in on a song (telling me that the band would sound just fine without him), he did share some rather humorous stories backstage. One of them was how Adam, tour manager, Mary Jo, and he had been invited to ride along on patrol with a Texas Ranger in Austin, and were later taken to a certain location (I think it's called Texas) where they could fire a plethora of weapons... and shoot to their hearts' content. They even got to experience the lawman 'light-up' someone, but, unfortunately, this wasn't a Tool enthusiast. I told Buzz that, while this was pretty cool, when I was in Houston, an astronaut with NASA who liked my newsletters asked Laralee and I if we wanted to go for a ride on the next space-shuttle launch and watch them perform middle school-level experiments while orbiting the earth. Before he could respond, a couple of female Melvins fans were escorted into Adam's dressing room with hopes of getting a photo taken with him (Buzz). Adam was all smiles, telling them how, when hanging out with Buzz, kids were always coming up to him (Buzz), some even wearing Tool shirts, wanting his autograph, but not aware of who he (Adam) was. Knowing that Adam (not Buzz) was waiting for a couple of bottles of "Lucid" to arrive, I decided to hang around a bit longer. Hell, a shot of "Lucid" and box of Triskets and you've got a party. But the bottle never arrived, so I moved on to greener pastures (Actually I was glad it didn't show up, because I was going to be viewing fractal geometry on Breck's laptop later on the bumpy bus.)
While the crew was busy dismantling Danny and Justin's dressing room, I noticed that Dan had a James Bond soundtrack on his iPod. I therefore requested Nancy Sinatra singing "You Only Live Twice." By the time Danny dialed it in, just as those gorgeous strings began, we were informed that the wardrobe case needed to be packed up. Alright, rather than bore you with anymore behind the scenes stuff, such how Junior doesn't care much for the water sound effects in the Cornelius "Point" CD that is played before the band takes the stage, I'd like to go into some detail about the "Krystal Nightmare" that occurred after the buses and trucks had left for Tulsa... OK? By "Krystal", I'm referring to that fast-food dystopia on Bourbon Street, the one that is often besieged by late night drunks, but which is particularly lacking in civility after a Tool extravaganza. Having trudged through the crowded rue with its brass discordance, sewage, and variegated brilliance, looking for something to eat at that hour (anything would do, even a strip of baloney floating in lime Kool-Aid or bag of stale Bugles from a vending machine at Chevron), we were forced to seek sustenance among the sweaty tattooed throngs with their sackfuls of steamed mystery. Waiting for a half an hour in a line with raw heads and bloody bones in knock-off Tool tees, we watched a roach on the wall watching us. Now, the Houstonian doesn't like roaches, especially if it has a higher number then her when it comes to gold at the foot of the rainbow. Still waiting, I thought about the little fella's fate. It could have been born and raised in an award-winning bistro, or even in a muffalata shop, but, no, the poor thing was given the spark of life at the NOLA Krystal. Oh, the damnability of it all. But, like us, it had to play the cards it was dealt, waiting on a wall for its order to be wrong. The more I think about it, you probably don't want to know about the heathen near-vegan's burger with ONLY mayo and cheese (after waiting 30 minutes for the first one with everything, including the cheese and mayo that he specifically stated that he didn't want). "You mean you want everything BUT cheese and mayo?" the exasperated manager asked, taking charge, himself, of this evidently impossible assignment. With a deadpan expression and sheer frustration, over the drunken rancor as voodoo marionettes boxed up greasy squares, I uttered: "Sir, it's absolutely critical." Standing among the sweepings, I glanced up at the brazen roach, and commiserated with it. If only it had come into the world in nearby Illinois, it would at this time be feasting royally in a glorious White Castle! I wish I had my proton pack. Such was the "Krystal Nightmare." The next morning, the place was sparkling... and we had a proper K-Town lunch elsewhere.
The day after Thanksgiving (which I spent with John Ziegler's family in Houston, with turkey and ham and all the fixins, but where I never heard anyone say "grace", not even for as much as a dadblasted Shipley donut), we found ourselves in Austin. It was after eating lunch at the Santa Rita Cantina (where I'm told they invented Tex-Mex), that what I'm calling the "Thanksgiving Miracle" occurred, and it was Volto! , himself, that was responsible. As we were heading to a "Half Price Books" on the rainy afternoon, out of the 'blue', JZ nonchalantly said, "By the way, there's a Steak 'N Shake in Austin." Of course I thought he was only bullshitting me (a Steak 'N Shake this far west!), but after he persisted that it was true, and after calling information for any kind of confirmation, it appeared that he really wasn't yanking our chain. (In retrospect, I probably never should have doubted a man who keeps tabs on these kinds of things, knowing exactly where and how many of his beloved "Whataburgers" are currently in Arizona, and, more importantly, how close they are to California.) Well call the dogs and piss on the fire! Twenty minutes later any "thick-coming fancies" turned into a reality. Staring at it in awed fascination, my brother, Laralee and I slowly got out of the car with our cameras at the ready. "What's it doing here?" I asked anyone that would listen. "It beats the hell out of me!" a voice answered. Even though my bellybutton wasn't exactly gnawing on my backbone (again, having just eaten Tex-Mex), we had to find a comfy booth.
The numbers were positively mystical. It simply boggled the mind. Gematria, and not that merely affected by mutual radiation or qabalistic echoes. Real gematria! Everything was at work, even with its Thelemic-Algolian 9300 South I-35 (= ate) address. Here was Steak 'N Shake # 620 (=ate), and we would be seated at table # 62 (=ate). The order number... the waiter's name... everything had a numerical significance. Now, if you've read this far, I want to reward you. As I promised, we'll get to new Tool merch items soon enough, but, in talking to the manager (the manager of Steak 'N Shake, not the band's manager), he confided to us, such was our enthusiasm - nearly salivating at the possibility, that several more of the restaurants were on the way, perhaps as many as four more to be built in Austin! Naw! Well knock me down and steal muh teeth! With this kind of luck maybe the Raiders would even beat the Chiefs tomorrow in K.C!!!
The next day, while walking down the grand staircase from the mezzanine into the lobby with its lavish furnishings 'painted with a Texana brush', on our way to have Chartreuse at the Texas Chili Parlor or chicken fried steak at the Broken Spoke, we passed by a little tike who was staring at the wall, mumbling to himself something about there not being any ghosts. I don't know if he heard someone talking about the Driskill Ghost Tour or if the buildings Romanesque façade just creeped the poor thing out, or if his folks were staying on the 5th floor, but the boy kept repeating this no ghost thing as if trying to convince himself that it was, indeed, the case. Hmmm. If you should ever find yourself on the 5th floor, and see a guy checking his watch, be sure to ask him what time it is. Also, watch out for a short lady in an oversized hat, and, of course, for the "Houston Bride" with all her shopping bags (even though this is most likely not a ghostly apparition).
But if you're the adventurous type, esoterically speaking, and don't fear paranormal events, you might try viewing the supposedly haunted painting hanging there. The little girl holding flowers is ALSO holding something else in her other hand. Is she offering you a gift? Gaze into her eyes... look deeply, and... perhaps she can make good things happen, such as a Steak 'N Shake appearing out of no where (someone let me know if they see the restaurant with the steakburgers and chocolate-banana shakes on I-35 in Austin), or the Raiders beating the Chiefs on their own turf...
DISCLAIMER: View at your own risk. We will not be held responsible for any supernatural occurrences and/or paranormal calamities that might impact your life, resulting from casual viewing or trance experiments conducted with the aforementioned painting.
HAPPY TRAILS
photo by Laralee
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With the Kelowna show having gone smoothly (Sac-Town's got nothing on those guys!), the band is pumped up to be performing in beautiful Victoria, British Columbia tonight. Ahhh, pink snapdragons and blue delphinium. Sure you could use the limited edition event posters as clubs, OR, better yet, you could take one home and have it framed as a treasured memento of the Tool experience. After Canada, the guys cross the border for the show at ADAM'S FIELDHOUSE IN MISSOULA, where there will also be keepsakes.
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Our fair dinkum friend SASHA POPOVIC ("BUTCHER" and "MOTHER TONGUE ") will be pounding the holy hell out of the drums with "BLACK MATH HORSEMAN" Friday night, NOVEMBER 30 at RELAX BAR here in Los Angeles. The band goes on at 11 PM, but the doors open at 8:00, and I'm told there's a beer and wine bar if you're 21 or older. $10.00 at the door. ALL AGES! Look for the RELAX BAR at 5511 HOLLYWOOD BLVD. (Los Angeles), on the northwest corner of Hollywood and Western. We hope to see you there.
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Even though all the ufo sightings are in Maidstone (51, no less... and counting), TOOL will be performing in the "Paris of the Prairies" tonight. Some of you 'toons' out there might be interested in picking up the event poster, maybe even a signed one. Are you ready, Saskatchewan?
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In my opinion, the pickled wheels taste the best... although some like the grill.
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Here's a couple of those limited edition event posters that I mentioned in an earlier post. These are from the New Orleans show, and as you can see, Adam has greatly embellished them with his own drawings (probably while on the bus or in his dressing room prior to the show). Look for more of these (and/or those signed by the band members) at the venue's merch table. They might go quick, though, so if you're interested in obtaining one... don't wait too long. I'll post some more samples if I receive any.
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who has to work tonight. Birthday greetings from your friends, fans, and the entire Tool family... CHEERS!.. JUSTIN.
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Vince De Franco and the Synesthesia Corporation have just launched a new website for the second generation Mandala Drum trigger pad and 'Virtual Brain' software control module. Vince's latest creation will be exciting news to both professional musicians and to those drummers who still have a day job because one of the major differences between the V2.0. and the earlier Mandala is the now MUCH LOWER PRICE ($999 down to $349!). The new version features the same patented state-of-the art technology, but offers many more sound possibilities because you now plug it directly into your home computer via a USB CONNECTION, allowing it to become a 'brain' and sample player (in the same way that Danny uses his Mandala pads). Included with the new Mandala is "Virtual Brain" software, and an all new 44.1 KHz 24-bit SOUND LIBRARY (pianos, guitars, tabla, drums, mini-moogs, etc.), OR LOAD YOUR OWN SAMPLES. In addition, you can connect multiple Mandalas (pads) to your computer in order to build and play an entire kit. To learn more about the Mandala V2.0. (sample library, USB connection, multiple pad capabilities, video clips, image gallery, endorsements, etc.), please visit the Synesthesia Corporation's website (www.mandaladrum.com)
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Those of you who have gone to first couple of shows may have noticed the new 'retro-style' event posters for sale along with the other tour merchandise at the venue. With a DIFFERENT POSTER for each show (city), obviously there is a very limited number of these items. So if you are interested in purchasing one, it's probably a good idea to get it early so that they are not all gone by the end of the show. There are also a few variations of these event posters: some that are unsigned, others that are signed by all four band members and a few that contain some original art (drawings and such) by ADAM when he is in the mood to do so. I would imagine these will only go up in value so here is your chance to obtain one without having to bid for them on any online auctions. Of course some will find their way to just such a place.
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If Tool's stellar drummer wasn't performing in Austin on Wednesday night, then he would almost certainly be watching this:
THE SCOTT KINSEY GROUP
featuring vocalist/percussionist ARTO TUNCBOYACIYAN
at the LAVELEE JAZZ CLUB (12514 VENTURA BLVD, STUDIO CITY, CA)
Wednesday, NOVEMBER 14 AND NOVEMBER 28
Scott Kinsey
Arto Tuncboyaciyan
Steve Tavaglione
Jimmy Earl and Gary Novak (on drums)
SETS AT 9:00 PM and 11:00 PM. $15.00 AT THE DOOR.
LAVELEE
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The members of the band head to AUSTIN, TEXAS for the show at the FRANK ERWIN CENTER tomorrow night (Wednesday, NOVEMBER 14). So if you're fortunate enough to be living in that city - the "loophole in the Bible Belt" and definitely one of my favorite places, enjoy the show. With the tech rehearsals now complete, Eric, Joe Paul, Breck, JR and the rest of the crew should already be there, and ToolArmy members can check out stage manager Eric's "NOTES FROM THE CREW" for more info.
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Here's some west coast tour dates for our friends ISIS on their 10th anniversary tour.
NOV. 14 - Seattle, WA. at NEUMO'S
NOV. 15 - VANCOUVER BC at RICHARDS ON RICHARDS
NOV. 16 - Portland, OR. at HAWTHORNE THEATER
NOV. 18 - San Francisco, CA. at SLIMS (with BIG BUSINESS)
NOV. 19 - San Luis Obispo, CA. at DOWNTOWN BREW (with Big Business)
NOV. 20 - Los Angeles, CA. at The TROUBADOUR (with Big Business)
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CHEERS to AARON from all your friends and the entire Tool family. The ISIS drummer turns... well, that's not that many shots to do...
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I've received over a dozen e-mails in the past few days about SALIVAL VINYL being sold on ebay. According to the people writing me, these are advertised as being as rare as hen's teeth (well, as being extremely rare), and can be very pricy (same with the DVD/CD 'box set' - those that aren't even signed by a band member!). For those wondering about the authenticity of the Salival VINYL, I'm fairly certain that these are ALL bootlegs offered for sale by unscrupulous types. As the French might say, this is a travestie. My advice would be to save your hard-earned money, and to keep in mind that I'm not adverse to using an acronym that's also an anagram (where applicable). But, more about this later. Also, some of those emailing about the questionable Salival vinyl are wanting to know about any possible analog release for 10,000 Days. To this, I'm sorry to say that I've no word yet, but will be sure to post if/when that day comes.
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Now that I have the collector's hardcover edition (one of 66 copies) safely under lock & key, I am pleased to announce that the soft cover edition of DARKLORE VOLUME 1 is currently available from amazon US and amazon UK. With over 300 pages (all for $13.95), this anthology published by the DAILYGRAIL features 18 contributing authors writing about... the inexplicable... Revealing, what the book's editor and fellow mysteryologist, Greg Taylor, refers to as, "the strange dimensions veiled by consensus reality." In this first volume of "Darklore", the subjects covered by leading researchers in their respective fields include western esotericism, hidden history, border phenomena, ufology, the paranormal, cryptozoology, mind expansion, the Knights Templar, Aleister Crowley, Timothy Leary, The Hellfire Club and much more. To procure your own copy, or just to find out more information about the tome (including three free articles), visit the NEW darklore website. For all of those who have e-mailed me over the years about "a good starting point" for the subject matter often discussed on the Tool websites, "Darklore" is a perfect overview book for the 'nightside' genre, and the editor has done a wonderful job in balancing out the various topics, all of them outside of mainstream science and, therefore, decidedly strange. At the same time, perhaps more importantly, it's a damn fun read!
DARKLORE VOLUME 1
CONTRIBUTING AUTHORS:
Michael Prescott
Greg Taylor
Robert Schoch
Nick Redfern
Daniel Pinchbeck
Susan B. Martinez
Loren Coleman
John Higgs
Michael E. Tymn
Philip Coppens
Paul Devereux
Blair MacKenzie Blake
Lynn Picknett & Clive Prince
Mike Jay
The Emperor
Mitch Horowitz
Michael Grosso
Adam Gorightly
INCREDIBLE AS IT MAY SEEM...
As one of the contributing authors of Darklore Volume 1, I chose to write about a strange 'encounter' that I had in Roswell, New Mexico back in 1997, as the town was celebrating the 50th anniversary of what is considered to be the most famous case in ufology. While camping out on what was at the time the most widely-accepted impact site (my brother and I being the only ones who had permission to camp on this privately-owned land) some 30 miles north of Roswell, in the middle of a stormy July night (eerily reminiscent of descriptions of the freak electrical storm on that date fifty years ago), we watched the headlights of an approaching vehicle kicking up clouds of dust in the vast expanse of semi-desert scrub. This turned out to be an elderly fellow in a decrepit pickup camper who asked us if we minded some company. At first the stranger claimed to be a ghost-town buff who was only mildly amused by all the Roswell hoopla, but over the course of night, while discussing ufological polemics, it became apparent that the guy knew a lot more about the Roswell incident than he originally claimed. I was especially intrigued when he mentioned the name, "Bernard Newman." At the time I knew that Bernard Newman (1879-1967) was a prolific British writer of spy thrillers (several of which turned out to be quite prophetic), and that he had in 1948 published a novel entitled "The Flying Saucer" that was, I believe, the first book to use that term. The plot of "The Flying Saucer" involves a faked UFO crash (in New Mexico and elsewhere) that is perpetrated by an elite group of individuals for a particular agenda (shades of MJ-12?), and its labyrinthine intrigue mirrors today's government psyop machinations. But after the stranger in the desert made some rather cryptic remarks about the enigmatic author and the contents of Newman's obscure book, I later began a careful examination of the text, and came to a rather startling conclusion: The author, it turns out, had led a double-life, and it is almost certain that he was a British intelligence agent. With this in mind, I came to believe that Newman was trying to tell us something, namely that his third-rate work of fiction contains specific revelations about the Roswell incident of 1947. Having dissected the relevant passages and compared them with the contents of a cache of 'sensitive' material now in my possession, it seemed to me that embedded in the racy narrative were clues as to the actual motives of the architects of a magnificent deception. Was Newman, then, a shadowy informant, and was the 'smoking gun' of Roswell right there in front of the eyes of researchers for 60 years, disguised as a spy thriller whose author's career remains to this very day shrouded in secrecy and deceit? Incredible as it may seem...
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DVD AVAILABLE DEC. 18, 2007
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Our good friend, artist RAMIRO RODRIGUEZ has a Dia de los Muertos "ofrenda" installment at the SNITE MUSEUM OF ART at the University of Notre Dame, IN. More info HERE
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Our friend Chet Zar has a show at THE HIVE GALLERY here in Los Angeles on SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 3rd (8:00 PM-12:30 AM). The show runs from Nov. 3rd until Nov. 24, and it's $7.00 at the door for the performances. The address is 729 S. Spring. Street, L.A., CA., and more info can be found HERE
Just in time for the holidays, Chet also has a new shirt of his popular painting "BLACK MAGICK" available on his own website (shirts for both men and a woman's babydoll). Here's the LINK
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TOOL NEWSLETTER
OCTOBER 2007 E.V.
Despite the fact that Mercury's still retrograde (?), I just can't get into Halloween/Samhain this year. Even so, I feel obligated to offer something (Tool) newsworthy to those out on this fantastic night. Endure then my ramblings, lest one finds a nugget of Chocopologie by Knipschildt amongst the Brach's candy corn in this brown paper sack. Under the spell of the L.A. Vast Active Living Intelligence System (yes, V. A. L. I. S.), I'm fairly certain that the entity known as "Merch" will have some goodies for you in the coming black months, but exactly what these are, is difficult to discern, as there are currently toads breeding in the stagnant water of the psychomantium. Alas, but no bats flitting in the gloaming. No fragrances of autumn. No bewildered grey spirits shuffling about. Knowing well of the Binary Soul Doctrine, I am unable to exhume even my own dead past-life self (therefore, no baptism for the dead!). Even the Mass of Saint Secaire went unanswered (Raiders). Desperate to get into the spirit of things, I astral projected into the Spaghetti Warehouse in downtown Houston, but there were no ghosts knocking over salt & pepper shakers, not even Anna Nicole Smith looking for... Perhaps I should try the hallway of the 3rd floor of the Driskell in Austin, where a painting of a little girl holding flowers seems to freak out so many visitors (curiously, a reflex of sorts of Elizabeth Templeton in the Solway Firth/Burgh Marsh photo from the 1960s). Be careful not to stare at this for too long, or else the MIW (or MIBs, as was the case with the Templeton photo) will take you away. If not the Driskell, then Le Pavilion Hotel in NOLA might do. Where are the grimacing masks and pumpkin ales I was hoping for? I've not even any pear schnapps to make a Brain Hemorrhage! The dancing flame on my Hand of Glory has guttered out, and all the Dr. Phil/Mr. Potato Head masks were sold out at Target. Kenneth Grant's "Outside the Circles of Time" has been delayed, and there are no VHS copies of Fredrick Skellig's "The Devil's Lantern" to be found at Amoeba Records. The 24 windows of my trapezohedron are clouded (so all those blackbirds baked into a pie can't begin to sing), and my copy of Wendy Carlos "Tales of Heaven and Hell" is scratched. What god did I offend? Hell, even David Copafeel's sleigh-of-hand isn't working too well (and O.J. appears to be mellowing with age). And what's this - Dumbledore's gay? Even the girl that went missing in Aruba knows that. Oh, but the "trick or treat" that I mentioned earlier: Well, if not Chocopologie by Knipschildt, then how about Delafee (for those who'd rather eat 24-karat gold instead of carnauba wax). Come to think of it, it might be best just to mix up a pitcher of orange Kool-Aid (electric or not), and watch MST3000's witty critique of "Hobgoblins." That or read a copy of "Darklore Vol. 1"... if it arrives today from amazon.com (fingers are crossed)... Got to get those toads out of my psychomantium!
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Both Las Vegas Tool shows at "The Pearl" go on sale this SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 3.
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PUSCIFER RELEASED TODAY (OCT 30)... PLEASE STAND BY FOR A MESSAGE FROM...
"Target pulled the record supposedly because of the artwork. Guess I pushed the right buttons. Most other places are carrying it for now. That is until someone's too much time on her hands granny complains. Then they'll fold like the cowards this New World Paranoid Order has turned them into. Wallmart didn't even bother taking the call, so don't look there. They won't stock stickered material. I suppose the mentality is much like the condom issue. which is... If you don't make condoms available to teenagers, they won't have sex. RRRRRight."
Now say it... VAGINA... VAGINA... VAGINA...
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For those NON-ToolArmy members out there, I've added the September newsletter to the archives with Maynard's LYRICS TO JAMBI now included.
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Unless there are any last minute changes, this Tool mini-tour ends with two dates at THE PEARL in LAS VEGAS, NEVADA.
Thursday, DECEMBER 13 at THE PEARL - LAS VEGAS, NEVADA
Friday, DECEMBER 14 at THE PEARL - LAS VEGAS, NEVADA
I don't have the on-sale dates yet, but will post once I receive them.
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12/3 - Missoula, MT @ Adam's Fieldhouse (on-sale 10/27)
12/11 - San Francisco, CA @ Bill Graham Civic (on-sale 10/28)
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The November 2007 issue of RELIX MAGAZINE featuring an interview with TOOL is now on the news stand, and can also be ordered online The magazine also contains some great photos by SpiralEyes' Camella Grace.
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My friends, we can no longer hide the terrible truth. The holidays are rapidly approaching, and with them the NEW TOOL DVD/VIDEO for VICARIOUS is scheduled to be released on DECEMBER 18th (or 19th) and will include an EXTENDED CUT, lots of BONUS MATERIAL and, of course, SPECIAL PACKAGING. Here's a sneak preview of a working still.
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A way to purchase TICKETS for VOLTO!
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PUSCIFER "Don't Shoot The Messenger" E.P. was just put up on iTunes. The full length album "V is for Vagina" is now available for PRE-ORDER HERE in the "EYES & EARS" section. Toolies, keep in mind that this won't sound like Tool, which is exactly the point.
Meats Meier, one of the artists the band hired to do some of the rear projection images for the 10,000 Days tour (as well as some other projects) did a video for "Queen B." You can check out Meats Meier's work HERE Let it be known that "Queen B" features Tm Alexander (Primus, Laundry, Fata Morgana) on drums.
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Nov. 29 - Kelowna, BC @ Prospera Place (on-sale 10/19)
Dec. 1 - Victoria, BC @ Save On Foods Memorial Centre (on-sale 10/19)
Dec. 8 - Nampa, ID @ Idaho Center (on-sale 10/20)
Dec. 10 - Los Angeles, CA @ Nokia Theatre (on-sale 10/20)
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For those of you out here who plan on going to see BUTCHER at the KNITTING FACTORY on Tuesday, OCTOBER 16th, please remember that they go on at 8:00 PM, so arrive early for what should be a great show.
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Happy Birthday MINSUN! (Michelle)... and, yes, greetings from all points of the Triangle to those celebrating Crowleymas today. Danny, Rynne and I acknowledged the occasion with a toast last night in a place where there are many birthdays: Rocky's "Crimson Flower", better known as Benihana. Speaking of Danny, I'm happy to report that his (minor) follow-up surgery went very well. He will be ready for VOLTO! on FRIDAY, OCTOBER 19, and the upcoming TOOL mini-tour NOV-DEC (in fact, he was already playing some pretty mean "Weather Report" with his chopsticks on water glasses last night!)
VOLTO FLYER
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Our friend CHET ZAR will be curating and participating in "THE TALKING BOARD SHOW", which opens on OCTOBER 20 at the COPRONASON GALLERY. Among the others artists involved are TOOL family members KEVIN WILLIS and MEATS MEIER. All the information can be found in the ouija board.
I also want to mention a 'Silver Lake' Los Angeles show that features a good friend of Eli Morgan of CoSM (artist Jarrett DeMartino ). Information about an exhibit by RYAN GRAEFF can be found HERE . If you're living here or just visiting SOCAL, you want to support these artists.
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I just received some on-sale date changes.
Nov. 19 - Tulsa, OK @ Tulsa Convention Center (on-sale 10/12)
Nov. 21 - Denver, CO @ Pepsi Center (on-sale 10/13)
Nov. 24 - Salt Lake City, UT @ E Center (on-sale 10/13)
Nov. 25 - Billings, MT @ Metrapark Arena (on-sale 10/14)
Dec. 4 - Everett, WA @ Everett Events Center (on-sale 10/13)
Dec. 5 - Portland, OR @ Memorial Coliseum (on-sale 10/13)
Dec. 7 - Spokane, WA @ Spokane Arena (on-sale 10/13)
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If you happen to find yourself cruising along on Ventura near the Bed, Bath & Beyond in Studio City tomorrow night, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 10, you might want to check out SCOTT KINSEY, SCOTT HENDERSON, JIMMY EARL & GARY NOVAK performing exceptional electric jazz at the LA VE LEE club (12514 Ventura Blvd.) Either that or grab some household goods at the BBB and be on your way.
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TOOL NEWSLETTER
SEPTEMBER, 2007 E.V.
ONTIC BROADCASTING FROM
THE DEN OF APSINTHION
Z'Etoile being Z'Etoile, with the Houstonian shopping for a miniature bottle of kleren and veve-spangled drapeaux for her altar (the little sorciere!), I found myself looking for Evangeline in the heart and soul of New Orleans (after the Agau-loa got angry). Seated in the sun-dappled décor of The Old Absinthe House on Bourbon Street, I pondered the odd lyrics to a certain Acadian (Cajun) folk song*, asking myself why on earth did Good King Dagobert put his breeches on backwards, and wear that beautiful green robe with holes at the elbows? With the veil of many colors before me, otherwise known as "the masterpiece of an old alchemist" (albeit with a lesser cousin wormwood - I suppose so that its victims don't have to wear such a ghastly aureole), the mysteryologist suspected that others concluded a Merovingian bloodline connection (those "do-nothing" kings of France). The same goes for Evangeline, and the reason that it was so important that the lovers be united after all those years. After all, acorns don't float, and after first stopping at that enigmatic island in Mahone Bay, Nova Scotia, during the Revolution, other members of French royalty sought refuge among the swamps of the Red River. And considering another legend of Bayou Teche in Louisiana - that of a great snake that couldn't be killed (in French, the word "teche' means snake), the cryptic prose-poem, "Le Serpent Rouge" of the graal quest came to mind. Curses!, I mean, Sacrebleu!, I know the truth... (Oh, the Universal Peacock). But as for Hoodoo, not being a connoisseur of this particular connaissance (Creolized or otherwise), except to know, in this quartier macabre, not to forget a blackened chicken sandwich for Brigitte in her purple dress, instead of watching for the ghosts of pirates and artists gliding across the sanded floor with their icy opalescent concoctions (as Crowley called the wormwood draught) - in this case any debatement not attributed to the Vodouisant, I decided to answer some e-mail on my iBook. Besides, perhaps Evangeline never left St. Martinville, and was at that very moment sitting in some glitzy bayou casino. And one without the need of any yellow bowl out front!
* "Good King Dagobert" is also a well-known nursery rhyme.
QUESTION
SUBJECT: JAMBI LYRICS
"What do you think of the on-line analysis of the lyrics to JAMBI in "infernalmajesty's diary?"
ANSWER:
Well, I'll certainly give him and "A" for effort, although this analysis is most likely an exercise in over-thinking. From what I've read, the person in question claimed that an essential interpretation of Tool's "Jambi" could be found in Aleister Crowley's "The Gospel According to Saint Bernard Shaw." (Note: the book is quite rare, but the complete text was reprinted by Francis King in 1974 in a book entitled "Crowley on Christ" which is a bit easier to obtain.)
In Crowley's essay, which began as a critique of the preface of George Bernard Shaw's "Androcles and the Lion", the section that mentions Jambi in Indonesia borrows heavily from J. G. Frazer's "The Golden Bough", and concerns the ancient custom of the ritual sacrifice of the king's substitute (who in that particular region was often of the same bloodline as the king), with parts of the body later consumed. Masquerading as royalty, i.e. invested with the divine attributes of the king, including all the special privileges before it was time to be beheaded, in this way (in order to fool the gods or demi-gods), the death of the imposter might serve its purpose quite as well as the actual king would have. With regards to this, some might say, divine anthropophagy, I could go on about such a vicarious sacrifice connection between these substitute kings and the helliquin, or harlequin of the old mystery plays (as well as the reason for Dagobert's tattered duds!), but that might not be necessary at this point. Just as Quazgaa doesn't drive a Honda Civic, I don't think the lyrics to "Jambi" were influenced by Crowley's book, although, come to think of it, the djini (genie) in the ornate box on Pee-wee's Playhouse is but a disembodied head... Incidentally, some Thelemites reading this might be interested to learn that the Great Beast divulged "the greatest secret of all magick" in an abbreviated form in "The Gospel According to St. Bernard Shaw" (written around 1916), this being the same parable of the train passenger with the mongoose in the basket that Crowley published in his magnum opus, "Magick in Theory and Practice" many years later. Hey, just a little jambalaya ala Crowley for you. Now, since we're on the path of the chameleon, it's time for another visit from la Fee Verte (minus the thujone).
QUESTION
SUBJECT: MAYNARD ON BOB SAGET?
"Is that Maynard in the opening scenes of Bob Saget's HBO special "That Ain't Right'. I can swear it's him. Can you let me know, it's driving me nuts."
ANSWER:
I wouldn't know because I don't have cable - only rabbit-ears and a few static-laden channels, but definitely not HBO. If someone wants to spring for cable, I'll be able to watch these wonderful things and better report on them. In the meantime I'll have to resort to veridical dreams to get my news (hell, it worked with the new O. J. thing). However, the other day I was informed by a certain little hor... ticulturist that "Cobras & Matadors" was recently featured on "The Hills." I guess the couple that were out on a (contrived) date were having trouble reading the menu in the dim lighting. To which I say, order the fuckin' fries! (I mean, the truffle-scented patatas fuckin' fritas).
QUESTION
SUBJECT: TICKS & LEECHES SKIPPING/STALLING
"An overnight DJ once played "Lateralus" (in almost its entirety) for the "3 o clock "Side Show" segment. Track 8, Ticks & Leeches got stuck in the middle twice, so she moved on to track 9, Lateralus. A listener called in and said his version of "Lateralus" does that too. I have the CD but no CD player (it's ripped to my computer). I'd like to know if this is meant to happen (and if so, why?) If it does, I have several theories:
1) It's for the limited edition vinyl where it could switch to an alternate track.
2) It's a hint to help reorganize the album. I've already done this, and I think I've got it figured out. This is the only question I don't have answered. My guess would be that it skips right when "Parabola" ends and "Lateralus" begins. Based on my calculations, that would be 13214592 samples into the song (just short of 5 minutes, 13230000 samples, since 44100 samples = I second)."
ANSWER:
Unlike the last e-mailer, perhaps, this person is definitely not over-thinking. And I thought that it was all a big waste of time for the band to devise the skipping/stalling feature in that way. No, seriously, did you ever consider that the lady DJ just screwed up her copy of Lateralus and lied about another listener having the same problem so she wouldn't look bad while on air? Honestly, I don't know why it happened (a CD skipping is such a bizarre phenomenon!), but it's not that the band did it on purpose so that you'd have to purchase a second... and third... and fourth... and fifth... and sixth... and seventh copy. Until we figure it out, let's blame it on the zany antics of the Petro-loa! Speaking of which, perhaps a verser of Dixie beer might suffice...
QUESTION
SUBJECT: BLOODSUCKING CHUPACABRA
"I was reading the site the other day about the chupacabra, and while I wasn't entirely sure what the hell you were talking about, today I came across this! This is probably the 10,000th email you've received about the discovery. For that, I apologize."
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070901/ap_fe_st/mythical_chupacabra.
ANSWER:
No need to apologize, my friend. Whatever it was discovered near SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS sure stirred up a craze (and was responsible for all kinds of tee-shirts being sold!) Unless the whole thing wasn't part of some elaborate advertising campaign to sell a new wine, or the Bizango are up to no good in that moonlit peristyle of theirs, I suspect that this ugly little cuss with the fanged teeth found in Cuero was the same creature with the glowing red eyes (Armadillo Ze Rouge!) that the Houstonian and I encountered on the highway near Bastrop after stopping at a barbecue shack where they didn't have truffle-scented fuckin' patatas fritas (I mean, fries). Even though this thing was said to have drained the blood from chickens (understandable, you won't see many chupacabras being served at KFC - working there maybe, but served, I think not), I'll bet it's a strange breed and/or mutated dilla (and not a residual effect from the removal of any curse). Even in Texas, people often mistake armadillos for monstrous cryptids, and not only that - even for alien entities. In fact, I recently saw on television (after adjusting the rabbit ears) that the eminent ufologist, DR. D. B. Selwick, was called out to a farmhouse whose owner believed that he had captured an extraterrestrial being. In reality, this turned out to be only a rather nervous armadillo (and then they quickly cut away to a Mercury Insurance commercial!) However, if this latest critter turns out to be the mythical chupa, well then, shit fire and save the matches! You can bet those Texans will make roadkill chili (with or without beans) out of the little devils. That or grind them into Justaburgers. Hey, its gotta be better than whatever's already in those Der Wienerschnitzel Pupsters.
QUESTION
SUBJECT: AREA 51 AND KFC LOGO
"Did you see that KFC has put a giant advertisement out near Area 51?"
ANSWER:
I don't know what this has to do with Tool? Oh yeah, Rosetta Stoned. Well, I suppose we can mention something about that place on the Tool website. Yep, I heard about it a while back, and can only hope it won't be used for target practice. I guess the hope is that the aliens who travel light-years to our mud ball in the boondocks will see Colonel Cluck's mug from space and be sure to go through the drive -thru (as walk-ins, of course - let's not get ridiculous) for a bucket of extra crispy legs and thighs now that there's no longer any trans-fat. (I know that the Nemirion-'Greys' really watch their weight.) If so, the geniuses at company headquarters better put some strawberry ice cream on the menu. Wait a minute! Weren't all those Hoosiers waiting for the UFOs to appear in "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" eating KFC (back when they were proud that it was fried!)? I KNOW that the effeminate 'gumby' alien at the end wasn't eating at the Colonel's palace (unless it was a bulimic effeminate bendy-doll 'grail' alien). I guess the brilliant folks at the company's headquarters didn't realize that those were government helicopters (and not alien spaceships) out to try and fool them all. Idiots! To be honest, though, the giant KFC logo is right next to Rachel, Nevada and the Little Ale'Inn, so... if such beings landed, they, in fact, could actually get an... "Alien Burger." That is, if Pat's still serving them. So, then... (scratches head)
QUESTION
SUBJECT: BLAME HOFMANN
ANSWER:
No, the Voice Over of the doctor is not Sasha Popovic, who plays in Butcher with Camella Grace, and it's not an Australian accent. It's an English accent, and I'm sorry but you'll just have to wait for the album credits... once I receive them from the band's manager. Same goes for the identity of the Nurse Voice Over.
QUESTION
SUBJECT: MAYNARD'S KEYBOARD DOLL
"What is that doll that Maynard has on his keyboard stand?"
ANSWER:
I don't know anything about dolls except that going-up-in-value Icelandic Barbie doesn't spill stuff on my carpet (well, not that much). I would attempt to find this out using the lost art of xylomancy, but it's damn hot here in K-ville, hence, no fire logs in The Old Absinthe House. Vudo-tronics won't help either (probably because my 'batterie' is low - damn, that's a nice pun... if I do say so myself!) So, having not seen it (if it even exists at all), my best guess is that it's... It's... I haven't a ghost of a notion...
NOLA ARTIST
(correct, this is not an e-mail question)
While having a drink with the spawn of Dagdagiel in "The Dungeon", a local artist approached to show us samples of his work that were for sale. The Houstonian was impressed, and purchased a print. Even though some of this art involves spiders (and even slightly Redon-looking spiders), the arachnophobe here will post a Myspace address so that you can check out his work for yourself:
myspace.com/whereartdestroysitself
QUESTION
SUBJECT: CHUPACABRA AND BLOOD-DRAINED CHICKENS
"The other day I was reading about the chupacabra on the site..."
ANSWER:
I'll bet you a zombi astral in a pickle jar that these unidentified mysterious animals (UMA) are the pets of the Grey-Nemirions who escaped from the Rigelian Sport Model while their owners were inside the KFC ordering extra crispy legs and thighs (probably wishing that the person at the drive-thru speaker wasn't talking in Jambese - the one language not programmed on their Dicta-Roboter). Either that or...
As I was about to finish replying to this e-mail, my Erzulie in faded jeans returned with a plastic bag filled with strong cigarettes, candles, Tabasco, yams and a tiny azure and golden-frosted cake (the little sorciere!) Setting down the viridian spirit and pointing to all the vintage football helmets hanging from the ceiling, the one thing I couldn't fathom, so I told her, was why every team in the NFL was represented except for one: The OAKland Raiders. (Understand, all you Dagobert - Oak Island researchers?) This seemed especially odd in a pirate-friendly establishment. Oh, well, perhaps George Frederick Blanda used to patronize the place centuries ago. At that very moment, my reverie was shattered by the sound of a lambi blowing from the gulf. What the hell! Did the gators and catfish come back? Was it time to send in George? He, too, flew the Jolly Roger of the outlawed Knights Templar... with their missing treasure to be found in the starry constellation of The (hay) Wain. All right, but no time to count sesame seeds. Outside on Bourbon Street there were the echoes of Benin... the rhythmic beat of handclapping, summoning the loa hiding behind those Catholic saints. Being that I was on the path of the chameleon, I left the antique rainbow drip and went out to watch the parade with their sousphones, sax and tambour... with the trianglier bringing up the rear, protected from the bright sunshine by a garish fringed parasol. Suddenly I was in the mood for swamp shots, shrimp and muffaletta (well, for swamp shots). Through the 'barrie' I went... off to Pat O'Brien's! and those souvenir Hurricane glasses that I once saw in a veridical dream (along with fireball candies, gris-gris bags and cornmeal symbols). By 3:00 AM I'd probably be seeking nourishment from the Zothyrian Krystal. Now, If you still don't know why Good King Dagobert put his breeches on backwards, and had holes in his beautiful green robe, or why to me Zophiel isn't ham, salami and chopped olives, blame it not on Hofmann, but on Adjasou and a baptism of that "fascinating but subtle poison..." Ayibobo.
(NOTE: Tool is scheduled to perform at the New Orleans Arena on November 17)
QUESTION
SUBJECT: HELP! CONFUSION WITH TICKETMASTER SEATING CHARTS?
"I am currently trying to purchase tickets to the New Orleans show. Every time I bring up Section 107, which, according to the seating chart, is supposed to be the full view of the stage, it has a note that says "BEHIND STAGE VIEW OF BACK OF PERFORMERS ONLY!" Please tell me which side of the arena that Tool will be facing. I do not want to have my concert ruined by showing up, assuming I have great tickets and then be fucked. Ticketmaster could not help me with this question."
THE REPLY (if not the answer):
Hmmm... All I can say is that they'll most likely be facing the right side - where the majority of the audience is seated. The note seems pretty straightforward to me. It said that Section 107 has a full view of the STAGE, but warned that it's located behind the direction the performers are facing. I can only assume that they know more about this than I do, seeing how... without any bowl of quicksilver and indigo candles on hand... well, it should be obvious. Maybe try checking with the band's stage manager, Eric? He does posts on ToolArmy Sosyete (and, I believe he replies to certain questions) in a section called "NOTES FROM THE CREW." But, if you do end up sitting behind the band members, let me know about any wax voodoo doll with pins stuck into the effigy of a Tool enthusiast who holds up a camera with a flash that might be on any keyboard stand. As a last resort, offer 151-proof rum, cigars, peppers, gold doubloons, and call on the Bawon. Either way, I sincerely hope you enjoy the show.
HAPPY TRAILS
Photo by LaraLee
BMB
The man who invented the TALK BOX that Adam and others use was recently added to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Bob's also a pretty mean organist. I remember hearing him and Stan (see below) in my O'Fallon Illinois incarnation. Both are incredible on the keys, so you're in the area, grab a Steak & Shake burger (chili, too), and go check this out.
Turns out that today is also BOB's birthday. CHEERS! and b.d. greetings from the Tool family.
BMB
More to come.
11/19 - Tulsa, OK @ Tulsa Convention Center (onsale 10/12)
11/21 - Denver, CO @ Pepsi Center (onsale 10/13)
11/24 - Salt Lake City, UT @ E Center (onsale 10/13)
11/25 - Billings, MT @ Metrapark Arena (onsale 10/13)
12/4 - Everett, WA @ Everett Events Center (onsale 10/13)
12/5 - Portland, OR @ Memorial Coliseum (onsale 10/13)
12/7 - Spokane, WA @ Spokane Arena (onsale 10/13)
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The L.A. shows have changed, but I'll post the new info as soon as I get it (and, perhaps some additional dates). In the meantime, I've added TULSA, O.K. to the TOUR SECTION. NOVEMBER 19th at the TULSA CONVENTION CENTER.
BMB
DANNY, JOHN, KIRK and LANCE will be playing at THE KNITTING FACTORY MAIN SPACE on FRIDAY, OCTOBER 19th. Location is 7021 Hollywood Blvd, STE 209. PHONE: 323-463-0204. For additional INFO , check out their website.
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Al Jones sent me a couple of photos of unusual guitars made by a Chicago artist named Fred Mangan. At a recent MELVINS/BIG BUSINESS show, Buzz and Dale got a chance to play a couple of these creations and, according to AL, made the most of them. The Melvins are currently on tour in the USA, and are heading east... I'll put a photo of the guitar Dale played in the TA PHOTO ALBUMS.
BMB
"An ongoing event for almost 2 years, the Entheocentric Salon - a series of monthly events at CoSM (Alex Grey¹s Chapel of the Sacred Mirrors) comes to SF to rally local communities around Visionary Culture. Inspired by the Seventeenth Century French art salons, we incorporated discussion, dance performance and multiple live painters into an all night electronic music party model. Starting the evening with a visionary lecture, gives the events depth with the creative energy from all the artists, sending a wave of cultural satisfaction throughout the party.
The first west coast Entheocentric Salon, the beginning of our new monthly series, hosts Alex and Allyson Grey for a Lecture on AnthropoCoSM: It is through a human lens that we understand our world." Alex Grey has developed unique yet universal symbolism that points to a realm of infinitely interconnected beings. Grey will review the history of AnthropoCoSMic sacred art and architecture and share his most recent visions of CoSM, the Chapel of the Sacred Mirrors. Intending to have a comfortable environment we are limiting the attendance of this lecture to 150 people.
Later, at Temple, we will move the event into a very special club environment - decorated with ancient statues, a temple built using thelatest technologies to create an eco-conscious venue Temple SF is changing the club standard. Alex and Allyson Grey will be painting live, while artists of different genres, performers and other visual talents will be performing through the 3 rooms of the club."
Shrine Room: Live Electronic Music/Electro-Progressive
Catacomb:
Dub Step/ Glitch/ Breaks
LIVE PAINTING:
by Alex Grey & Allyson Grey
LIVE PAINTING:XAVI € Luke Brown
LIVE:
BLVD (Cyberset) € Waterjuice (Vaporvent)
LIVE:
Eskmo (Cyberfunk/ Native State)
DJs:
Pedro (CoSM, Interchill Rec. Brazil)
Ricardo (Greensector- Brazil)
Treavor (Moontribe)
Visuals by VJ Videlicious
DJs:
Danny Corn (3WS, Moontribe)
Dov (MuniMusic/ Cyberset)
Tony (Symbiosis)
White Room: Lounge / House / Electro
DJs:
Paul (Temple SF)
Marjo Lak (Butter Music - BR)
Majitope (Symbiosis)
Manny (Greensector LA/Brazil)
Visuals by VJ Laylah
Performance by: Serpent Feathers
Advanced tickets at : http://myspace.com/entheocentricsalon
Prices:Entheocentric Salon Pass (Lecture + Event) $45
Entheocentric Salon (Club Entrance) $25
BMB
Here are SOME confirmed TOOL shows. More to come as they are confirmed.
11/14 - Austin, TX @ Frank Erwin Center (onsale 10/5)
11/16 - Houston, TX @ Toyota Center (onsale 10/5)
11/17 - New Orleans, LA @ New Orleans Arena (onsale 10/6)
11/23 - Casper, WY @ Casper Events Center (onsale 10/6)
11/27 - Saskatoon, SK @ Credit Union Centre (onsale 10/5)
BMB
Camella, Sasha and company, otherwise known as BUTCHER, will be performing LIVE at THE KNITTING FACTORY in Hollywood on Tuesday night OCTOBER 16th. This will be their first performance in quite a while, and they will be introducing their new bass player. 8:00 PM . For additional INFORMATION, check out www.butcherband.com. We hope to see you there.
BMB
Remember what happened to the two Los Angeles Tool shows that were listed on TicketMaster? They (TicketMaster) had to pull them because... things change. As for the new tour dates, we (myself included) are still waiting for the shows to be confirmed. As of Friday (September 28), in speaking with the band's management, there were still a few details to be worked out before these dates could be confirmed. Once the shows are official, THEY WILL BE POSTED in the news and in the tour section on this site. Therefore, if you've seen some dates listed, these may or may not be accurate, depending on any last minute changes. Again, we hope to have the official dates soon.
BMB
Although no dates are officially confirmed at this point, it appears that TOOL will be touring the WEST COAST of the USA from mid-NOVEMBER until X-MAS. As soon as these shows are confirmed, I will post the dates and venues on the websites.
BMB
Several new Tool Tees have been added to the store. Also, ToolArmy members might want to keep an eye on the SHOPPING BAZAAR as I believe MERCH is getting ready to put on SALE some discontinued, TOUR, and miscellaneous shirts. I'm not sure exactly when he plans on doing this, but it will most likely be in the next couple of days.
BMB
Realizing that a good number of Tool enthusiasts also appreciate the work of Aloke Dutta and other less mainstream artists, I thought that some of these same people might be interested in a CD that features TIBETAN SINGING BOWLS. This CD is entitled "PRANAH" by MARK BIEHL. Besides being an effective mediation tool, there is an ethereal beauty to these sustained vibrations - a distinct tonal 'inbetweenness' that is difficult to describe... and perhaps that's the whole idea. The particular bowls that Mark uses on PRANAH are quite old, and like all good quality bowls, are composed of numerous alloys, possibly even, according to legend, metals derived from meteorites. Besides the link to Mark's WEBSITE , I will also provide a link to the Bodhisattva Trading Company in case others would like to learn more about this nearly lost art and maybe purchase some bowls to experiment with (or just make them sing).
SOME REVIEWS OF PRANAH
New Age Reporter
"PRANAH is one of the most peaceful, contemplative and expansive CDs I've heard in the last few years; it's almost luxuriantly calm. The mixture of struck Tibetan bowls with gently twinkling high-pitched chimes, as if they were being blown by a soft breeze, and occasional low-key textural synthesizer shadings, which add an element of subtle mystery and a sense of the ancient, do not paint a specific visual image for the listener, nor do they evoke a particular place or time. Instead, the random nature of the bowl notes, the chimes and the textural synths envelop the listener in a pleasant musical "mist" which acts like an insulator from stress, worry and the outside world. I give it my unqualified highest recommendation."
Bill Binkelman
Nexus Magazine
"The use of resonant metal objects such as chimes and bells to achieve higher levels of consciousness goes back thousands of years, and Mark continues the tradition. The long, sustained tones of the tuned metal bowls bring relaxing, transpersonal effects into your life."
Richard Giles
BMB
Congratulations to Tool business manager Debbie Alagao (and her husband) on the birth of their daughter Isabella at 1:15 PST.
BMB
Chet Zar's father, master fantasy painter JAMES ZAR, now has a WEBSITE that may be of interest to some of you. Check it out.
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Don't try this at home.
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Chambers and tombs, Pharaohs and kings!
Not exactly Lamborghinis, but they will get you to where you're going.
BMB
I'll be adding more photos of Danny and Rynne's trip to various locales in Egypt to the PHOTO ALBUMS on the ToolArmy site. Looks like they are having a great time, and a well-deserved rest.
BMB
Adam's brother AL JONES has been involved with a charity in his home town of Libertyville, and recently he donated some NHL hockey jerseys (given to him by Adam) for a fundraiser on OCTOBER 5th, 2007. Two of these jerseys (CALGARY FLAMES & DETROIT RED WINGS) have been SIGNED by ALL FOUR BAND MEMBERS, and you now have a chance to bid on them, with all of the money going to kids with disabilities. The charity is called "HELPING FROM HEAVEN", and you can learn more about it, as well as the upcoming fundraiser by clicking HERE . Both AL and the band thank you for your support.
BMB
I just received a message from Danny that jazz legend Joe Zawinul has died at the age of 75. Danny considered him his "ultimate inspirational musician" and added "Joe will live in my art forever." Another dead hero... to be sure.
BMB
In case this doesn't make Tool stage manager Eric's "Notes from the Crew", antique brass bottles with Jinn inside have been stashed in a road case. Now there's one last chance to hit the cobblestones... Perhaps the pungent bazaar for a little Byzantium dizziness, or the variegated glow of a spice market. Pastry filled with honey and pistachios washed down with "lion's milk." Ah, the heady fumes of anise-flavored brandy (raki) and aroma of grilled shish kabobs before coming home to that In-N-Out "Double-Double" and lime-stuffed Coronas. According to giggly Jackie Johnson, the weather should be nice.
BMB
Members of BIG BUSINESS will be guest bartending all night at the SILVER LAKE CHA CHA LOUNGE on SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 9th. Location is 2375 Glendale BLVD., Los Angeles, CA. 90039. While you're there, make sure TOSHI (Kasai) puts plenty of plastic blue monkeys on that potent tropical libation, and maybe even ask Willis (if you see him) about any video news.... or, at least, what it's like to drink Clamato mixed with Bud Lite (CHELADA!)
BMB
LUCIANO
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Can... somebody... tell... me... that... this... isn't... happening... ALRIGHT, who spilled the Pringles in that state park near Dallas! This had better be some hoax/publicity stunt for some new horror release! If I wasn't busier than a Tijuana whore on Nickel Night, I'd do some investigating to see just what in the hell they're doing to the orb weavers in those Black-Op labs! The damn place looks like an Australian hotel room!!!... Can... somebody... tell... me (and Kinsey)... that... this... isn't...
BMB
Psychedelic pioneer-artist ISAAC ABRAMS OPENING RECEPTION at the MICROCOSM GALLERY on SEPTEMBER 8 (6PM-8PM).
CONVERSATIONS with ISAAC ABRAMS and ALEX GREY on SEPTEMBER 14 (8PM-MIDNIGHT)
For more info and to view "Trip Tickets", check out www.cosm.org
BMB
Information pertaining to CHET ZAR's new art show opening this FRIDAY (Sept 7th) at THE LIMITED ADDICTION GALLERY in DENVER, COLORADO can be obtained at info@limitedaddictiongallery.com, and on Chet's website (www.chetzar.com).
BMB
TOOL NEWSLETTER,
AUGUST, 2007 E.V.
Let me say right up front that this could be a very valuable newsletter for someone, as it deals with the "noumenon" of interdimensional perichoresis, and one who left behind a dirty fingerprint, perhaps, in the process. Now, when I say that it could be valuable to someone, let me stress that I'm talking about an individual with keen eyesight (or oxyopia, if you'd prefer) - those who understand the angel Madimi's answer to the seer (or mountebank?), Edward Kelly's inquiry as to whether or not it could lend him a hundred pounds for a fort-night, with the reply being that "I have swept all my money out of doors." For, as to these and other future events (whether in Enochian séances or not), we are talking about doors...to and from any number of probable world-planes and co-existent realities. In this case, besides keen eyesight, all you need is a certain error baseball card that was issued in 1969 (you didn't put it in your bicycle spokes, did you!) Okay, it might also help to have certain leaves of silver parchment inscribed in the tongue of ANGELS, but the error card truly contains the key. This I tried to explain while washing down a couple of salted peanuts with a watered-down $11.00 draft beer...
Hoping to see Barry Bonds tie Hank Aaron's homerun record, while attending a Dodgers-Giants game at Dodger Stadium on Tuesday night, July 31 (with Adam, Camella, Alan, and Buzz), I was asked about a prediction of sorts that I had made in a news post from October 12th, 2004 (incidentally, Crowleymas), captioned "THE BAMBINO'S CURSE AND HARRY AGANNIS." In this I stated that: "In order to break the curse on the Red Sox, someone who owns a black Cadillac and lives in New York City must find a way to send Harry Agannis a one dollar bill dated from 1955." Evidently, someone did, and not long after the post appeared on both Tool websites (again, on October 12th, 2004), the Boston Red Sox did the near impossible - winning the World Series (on Oct 27, with the series beginning on Oct 23) after being down 0-3 to the New York Yankees in the LCS! This incredible feat (involving 8 consecutive wins) was the largest comeback in post-season Major League Baseball, and by sweeping the St. Louis Cardinals, it was Boston's first World Series trophy in 86 years (since 1918). Although I didn't reveal to this person how I knew what was needed to break the "Curse of the Bambino" on that night at Chavez Ravine, I did tell him/her how they could make a lot of money in Vegas by accurately predicting exactly who (and when) would break Barry Bonds' all time homerun record (which, at the time, he hadn't even tied Aaron yet).
Having collected baseball cards in grade school, last season I gave either Adam, or Buzz, or their friend Dan (I don't remember which one it was) a (gem) mint condition Barry Bonds rookie card that I'd found back at my parents house in the mid-west (among thousands from the 1960s that were preserved in well-labeled cardboard boxes). I didn't think the card would ever be particularly valuable, not because so many were produced, but because hardly any were destroyed (scarcity being everything when it comes to an expensive card). Such wasn't the case with the error card in question, which happens to be a 1969 Topps AURELIO RODRIGUEZ (# 653).
Although most of these cards were probably lost or destroyed by one means or another, I wouldn't say that the card is that hard to obtain today. There are probably still a good number of them out there, and it can be purchased on eBay and elsewhere without breaking the bank. However, when compared to the Barry Bonds rookie card, due to certain occult factors that I touched upon earlier, #653 is infinitely more valuable!
Those who collect baseball cards are familiar with error cards. There's the card of the Houston Astros' Claude Raymond who was caught with his zipper down not once, but twice, both in 1966 and 1967 (actually, one is probably a reverse negative of the same image). Better known is the 1989 Fleer Billy Ripken "Fuck Face" card (#616), in which one of his teammates had played a prank on the Baltimore Orioles infielder by writing the obscenity on the knob of the bat with a black marker. At first this choice expletive went unnoticed, and the card went into production. There are now a number of variations as the good folks at Fleer attempted to doctor up the offensive word with correction fluid, and other such tricks (one is known as "Rick Face"), eventually completely covering the letters with a small black square. While it is believed that a teammate of Ripkin's was responsible, some might want to entertain the thought that it was actually the work of the Devil, itself. After all, the "Fuck Face" card is number 616 - the devalued new Number of the Beast (Note: The discovery of a 1,500-year-old papyrus written in Greek in an ancient rubbish heap near the Egyptian city of Oxyrhynchus in 1895 was recently deciphered by scholars at Oxford University using advanced imaging techniques. Proving to be a fragment from the oldest surviving copy of the New Testament [Book of Revelation - a thinly veiled political tract], it was determined that the famous Number of the Beast [Anti-Christ], 666, is actually 616). It should be no surprise to purveyors of Xian paranoia and the secret Satanist network that the Devil would use a baseball card to indoctrinate the minds of young children (hell, it worked with me!). Just look at cartoons such as Teddy Ruxpin, The Smurfs, and Barney - all of which could be Satanic propaganda tools, not to mention all the evolutionist mutations like the Teenage Mutant Turtles, X-Men, Fantastic Four, Transformers, etc, where the Theory of Evolution is being ever so subtly introduced to our children (even while still in the playpen!). So, the idea that the Devil would use a baseball card as its medium is a no-brainer! Even so, with the Aurelio Rodriguez error card ("the original A-ROD), rest assured that another force is at work.
In my solipsistic multiverse, at least, these high-jinks belong to a good perichoretic traveler - someone from another probable reality, nay, a parallel world-plane, and, as I mentioned, his/her dirty fingerprints are all over it. The first thing we should know is that the reason that the AURELIO card is an error card, is that it's NOT even AURELIO pictured on the card. The person with the sheepish grin (similar in ways to the knowing smile on LEONARDO Da VINCI'S "Mona Lisa") was actually, at the time, the California ANGELS batboy, LEONARD GARCIA (born on December 28th, 1947). Back in 1969 (and even today), the original A-ROD wasn't that well known (unlike the modern A-ROD, he couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat), and the fact that it wasn't him on his own card, but the bat-boy, went unnoticed by most. Hence, the card was never corrected by the Topps Company who produced it (it being an uncorrected error card).
More than a good hint that the card contains the key to an occult secret involving the Enochia (in which the ANGELS used 'a rod' to point to various letters) is the very name of the archangel URIEL (who taught these secrets to Enoch) 'hidden' in AURELIO (between the "A" and "O"), and a Word of Power concealed in the last name of the ANGEL'S third baseman, RODRIGUEZ (which you'll have to work out on your own).
And so, while Wal-Mart recently had a field day with the Kansas City Royals Alex Gordon rookie card, the original A-ROD continues to go unnoticed, even though, as I believe, it is infinitely more valuable than all the others. Therefore, obtain one, and by applying the Faculty of Abrac with the stats on back (in accordance with a certain heavenly luminary already hinted at), place your bet in Vegas! One last thing: It might be that someone else out there also believes it so (and not batboy Leonard GarCIA). Is it merely a coincidence that 3 players in Major League history named AURELIO were all killed in car accidents? Add to this (all you conspiracy buffs out there), that the date that the original A-ROD was run over was September 23 (2000).
BMB
Volto! himself, John Z, will be grilling and performing at THE BAKED POTATO in Universal City this MONDAY NIGHT (SEPT 3). Jamie Kime is back from "Zappa Plays Zappa", and they 've spruced up the wobbly Weber, so, not a bad way to spend a Monday night in the City of Angeles. Coals get fired up around 8:00 PM, so bring something to throw on, and an instrument if you'd like to join in on stage. Also, John's band, AMALGATRON, will be playing at the spud on THURSDAY, SEPT 6th. We hope to see you there.
www.myspace.com/thebakedpotatoclub
MORE
BMB
Somewhat belated, but Happy Birthday to KEVIN WILLIS and ROBYN (Breen) SHINN, producers of TOOL's videos, who will be celebrating tonight somewhere in Silverlake. CHEERS from all your friends, the members of the band, and the entire Tool Family!
BMB
TOOL NEWSLETTER
JULY, 2007 E.V.
ON THE TRAIL OF OGE-MAKE
Recently, while going through some boxes of UFO documents in my closet, I came across a copy of the pulp sci-fi magazine Amazing Stories dated January 1948 (Vol 22, #1). Flipping through the musty yellowed pages, I noticed a short story entitled "The Fire Trail" that was written by Oge-Make, an orphaned Caucasian child raised to adulthood by Pueblo Indians in New Mexico. With the edges of the magazine's fantastic cover art literally falling apart in my hands and raining down on my clothes in tiny colorful pieces, I suddenly remembered having briefly written about this story in my very first newsletter for this site (May, 2000 e.v.), in an article called "The Bestirring of the Nommo(s): A Serious Mystery Revisited."
In that newsletter, I mentioned that the curious little tale involving a sacred Navaho ceremonial contained specific details that were possibly related to the obscure Dogon tribe of sub-Saharan Africa and the "Sirius Mystery" cosmology now associated with their secret priesthood. But as I began to read the story again, it occurred to me that there was more to it than I originally thought, particularly with regards to information contained in the book The Stargate Conspiracy (2000) which, synchronistically enough, I had just re-read the night before! In this book, which concerns the new Egyptology, the Council of the Nine, 'esoteric' Freemasonry, occult fraternities, and an overall plot by an unknown agency using mystical transmissions supposedly channeled from intelligences from the Sirian comity for some socio-political agenda, or as a long-term military psyop experiment, authors Clive Prince and Lynn Picknett theorize that certain revolutionary discoveries about the nine principle gods (the Great Ennead) of ancient Heliopolis made by scientists, scholars and other powerful individuals "tie into a dangerous conspiracy nearly fifty years in the making."
However, in light of certain revelations imparted by the author of "The Fire Trail", it would appear that certain of the conspirators, benign or otherwise, have been around at least as far back as the summer of July 1947 (coincidently, the date of the Roswell event), with the message of vital importance that the utopian beings wished to convey to humankind concerning the catastrophic destruction of our planet by atomic weaponry. Although there was nothing new about such dire cosmic warnings in the flying saucer-age, what was rather intriguing to me was the means by which the communications of the alleged extraterrestrials were imparted to Oge-Make. This would seem to lend support to Picknett and Prince's hypothesis of a chemical stargate by which genuine hidden knowledge is made accessible to certain individuals by those who normally exist outside the threshold of human perception. Before elaborating further on this idea, perhaps it would be best to first give a brief introduction of the Sirius mystery to those who are not familiar with the secret traditions of the Dogon. (NOTE: for additional information, readers should check out the May and July newsletters from 2000 e.v. in the archives).
THE DOGON AND SIRIUS B
The genesis of the Sirius Mystery is most often attributed to American orientalist Robert K, G. Temple's book of the same name. First published in 1976, The Sirius Mystery, attempts to explain how several high priests of a supposedly primitive tribe living in some of the remotest parts of Africa came into possession of detailed and specific information concerning the binary (or possibly trinary) Sirius System, including astronomical peculiarities that they have allegedly preserved for at least 800 years without the benefit of a telescope. To those who have read Temple's highly influential book, this information is startling to say the least:
Rather than venerate the brightest star in the night sky, Sirius, (relatively close by at 8.7 light years away), the Dogon of the former French Sudan (now the Republic of Mali) instead, give special significance in their complex cosmology to its dark companion, Sirius B, a star that is not only totally invisible to the naked eye, but that can only be seen using a powerful telescope. Not only do certain Dogon priests seem to be aware of the invisible companion's existence, but it would appear that they also know that it is an exotic type of star known as a white dwarf, claiming it to be one of the heaviest types of stars in the universe, a fact that astronomers now know to be true. And if that were not enough, they also know that its orbit is elliptical, taking 49.9 years to complete around Sirius A, an event that they celebrate with an elaborate ceremony (Note: it has been claimed that Dogon sand diagrams even show the elliptical path of Sirius B about Sirius A, with Sirius A positioned off-center, or at a particular focus of the ellipse, which would also be astrophysically-accurate, although the tribal designs themselves are up to various interpretations, and may be, as archaeoastronomer Dr. E.C. Krupp states, "a sexual mnemonic that equates agriculture with human procreation.") So, is this all due to chance? Were the Dogon high priests just damned lucky guessers as Robert Anton Wilson joked in his book about things Sirius,The Cosmic Trigger, or did somebody (or something) provide them with information that is relatively new to the rest of the modern world?
Using ancient Sumerian, Babylonian and Egyptian 'mythology' to solve the Dogon-Sirius puzzle, Temple traces the origins of the Dogon's inexplicable knowledge to an advanced race of aquatic extraterrestrial beings called the "Nommo" who originated from a planet in the Sirius system and who visited the earth in ancient times. The tradition of the dark partner of Sirius and of the emissaries of the god, Amma, who bequeathed civilization to those who they came into contact with, was preserved for centuries among the initiated, handed down from generation to generation, until in the 1940s when it was revealed to two reputable French anthropologists, Marcel Griaule and Germaine Dieterlen. The anthropologists, who had lived with the Dogon for years and apparently gained their utmost trust, subsequently published these most secret traditions of the tribal priests, and it was this article that prompted Temple to delve further into the matter.
Although impressed by Temple's extensive research, those skeptics who believed that the Dogon's anachronistic knowledge wasn't just a series of coincidences, thought that their star lore regarding the Sirius system was derived from early Christian missionaries who, for some strange reason, felt it was important to teach a near stone-age African tribe the laws of celestial mechanics of a stellar remnant white dwarf!
Considering such explanations as, frankly, ridiculous, in writing about the Sirius mystery back in the 2000 newsletter, I mentioned that, to me, the most likely solution to the puzzle was that the anthropologists hoaxed the entire thing. Although the "Pup" (Sirius B) wasn't first photographed until 1970, its presence as an obscure companion of Sirius was guessed at back in the mid-19th century by the German astronomer Friedrich Wilhelm Bessel after observing tiny irregularities (wobbles) in the slow proper motion of Sirius over a ten-year period. His suspicions were finally confirmed in 1862 when Bessel's "dark star" was first observed by Alvan Graham Clark using an 18-inch telescope that, at the time, was the largest refracting optical instrument in the world. So, it was certainly conceivable that members of the scientific community were aware of the unusual characteristics of Sirius B at the time that the anthropologists were studying the Dogon's beliefs, and history has shown that even "reputable" members of academia have been known at times to take matters into their own hands.
HOAX?
Since the writing of that newsletter, other critics of Temple's extraterrestrial conclusions have claimed that Marcel Griaule, of whom the secrets were made known - he being "the first outsider in their history to inspire their confidence", over-interpreted the Dogon high priests' answers to his questions concerning their cosmological theories, meaning that he was told what he wanted to hear. This is just short of saying that the eminent anthropologist put the words into the Dogon priest's mouth, thus fabricating a great mystery for possible academic glorification. The problem with this is that, in the article, as pointed out by Temple, Griaule didn't trumpet the Dogon's apparent knowledge of the unseen companion, but, instead, merely placed it as a footnote which stated, "the question has not been solved, nor even asked, of how men with no instruments at their disposal could know the movements and certain characteristics of stars which are scarcely visible." Although this would seem to confirm that Griaule himself had an interest in astronomy, as some critics use to bolster their case that he was the sole perpetrator of the hoax, the other side of the coin is that he used the words "scarcely visible", when Sirius B is totally invisible to the unaided eye. Still, if he was a very clever hoaxer, he might go about it that way. Though it is true that we have to take his word for the tribe's most secret traditions, as he, himself, was the only outsider to which these things were imparted, it doesn't seem fair to accuse him of hoaxing the mystery on the grounds that other researchers haven't been able to find other modern day Dogon informants who are aware of the same knowledge of the Pup, let alone a third stellar component. After all, the most esoteric traditions were reserved for only certain members of the priesthood.
As I also mentioned back in 2000, the Dogon weren't the only nontelescopic observers who knew of the existence of Sirius B. Voltaire's remarkably prophetic Micromegas (1752) concerns a giant from Sirius and his dwarf companion who travel to the earth to impart wisdom to a certain priest! Knowing that this book predated Bessel's suspicions and Clark's observations, is it pure coincidence, or is there something else at work here, something, perhaps, related to the knowledge transmitted via a chemical stargate?
REVELATIONS IN SCRAWLS OF GRAPHITE
Before I dilate further on the possible shamanic aspect of the Sirius mystery, there is another book that mentions the dark companion that was published 25 years before Temple's work. This extremely rare book (just try to find a copy outside of Utah), entitled Star Guests: Design for Mortality (1950) by William Dudley Pelley, is briefly mentioned in The Stargate Conspiracy, whose authors believe it to be the first collection of channeled material from extraterrestrials ever published. Really? They also consider the author to be an important figure "where the genesis of the stargate conspiracy is concerned." Really? When the 'Stargate' authors finally managed to obtain a copy of Star Guests, they write that they were "staggered" to find elements of the Sirius mystery, relating that it "focuses not just on Sirius, but actually on Sirius B..." Really? What the book of 245 pages actually mentions on two occasions is "a mammoth planet revolving about Sirius as its sun", and "a stupendous satellite " that does the same, an idea that the author most likely got from reading a copy of Richard Hinckley Allen's popular Star Names: Their Lore and Meaning (evidently, it could even be obtained in the federal prison system of the 1940s), rather than from channeling non-human entities that migrated from fantastic Sirian planets. Reading Star Guests is not exactly a pleasant experience, as what awaits those patient enough to comb through the automatic writing is a nauseating string of platitudes, predictable 1950s flying saucer contactee drivel, pseudo-scientific zingers, new age "soulcraft" doctrine, and a Biblical slant that one might expect from a white supremacist founder of the fascist "Silver Shirts of America", but hopefully not from invisible intellects from sublime dimensions controlling a "miraculous pencil."
To be fair, the book contains a lot of what today could be labeled as 'Sitchinism' albeit written in an ornate prose that is reminiscent of the Old Testament, and filtered through the neural circuitry of an American Hitler enthusiast, but as for containing "all of the major elements of the stargate conspiracy", even with its influx of interstellar spirits migrating to our terrestrial ball as the progenitors of "shapes hideous to think upon they might make in diabolical caprice", I will have to read it a third time. On second thought, perhaps the following paragraph from Star Guests is what Prince and Picknett found so disturbing: "Of thirty persons in a given street-crowd, ten may be the beast-progeny of the ape-mothers of long ago, ten may be reincarnated spirits from the original Sirian migration, and ten may be members of the Goodly Company of the Avatar, trying to repair the moral damage done so long ago when the members of the Migration ran riot in sodomy - and yet all thirty appear the same as to physical members and, viewed externally, show only differences of racial features and dress. The only way by which they may be identified is by observing their spiritual manners and employments. Multiply that given street-crowd by millions - and even billions - and you have the worldly situation with its conflict of temperaments that makes society what it is, and human progress what it isn't!" If the 'Stargate' authors think that Pelley's scrawls of graphite make for some interesting reading, then they are sure to find the message of vital importance of he who walked the "Trail of Fire" even more so.
VERBAL SLEIGHT-OF-HAND?
Returning now to the January 1948 issue of Amazing Stories, in "The Observatory" by the editor (i.e. "From the Editor's Desk"), Raymond A. Palmer warns his readers that this isn't just an ordinary issue, for the most part because they are running a story that he has "no hesitation in calling TRUE." This story involves an accurate account of what occurred in the summer of 1947 during an ancient ceremony held by Navaho, Hopi, and other Pueblo Indian tribes when Oge-Make ascended on "a pathway of flames", traveling through both space and time before returning with an incredible tale involving extraterrestrials from a world circling Sirius. In a side box to the actual article, editor Palmer once again stresses the validity of the tale and offers a sincere warning to all Americans to think about the message related, even going as far as adding a plea for help from his readers at the conclusion of the story in what he deemed to be "a matter of great importance." In light of his reputation as the P.T. Barnum of ufology, perhaps this is what one might expect from a Palmer production. Described variously as a "hunchback carnival barker", as "the man who invented the myth of flying saucers" and as "the trickster of the pulps", whatever one chooses to believe, for forty years, with his alternative-reality magazine, Palmer certainly helped popularize the notion of aliens from outer space visiting the planet earth, and the cover-up of this fact by the powers that be. Only this time, amid the glitter of juvenile mysticism on cheap pulpwood paper, the major elements of the "stargate conspiracy" can truly be discerned (and at about a penny a word!).
Unlike Pelley's somewhat vague allusions to Sirius B as the "seat of the Godhead" in his "seminal" book, Star Guests, in "The Fire Trail", the "pale son", Oge-Make speaks of "Sirius and its dwarf companion." He also describes it has a small sun with a heavy core circling a larger neighbor. Besides these particulars, even more intriguing for fans of Temple's The Sirius Mystery is Oge-Make's description of the denizens who inhabit the planet in the Sirius system that he was transported to "in the spirit" during the Navaho ceremony. These beings were said to have a certain fish-like quality to them, living in a water-like medium in which they were propelled by tail-like appendages. Compare this to the Nommo(s) - the amphibious creatures shown in Dogon tribal drawings who, as "the Instructors" and "The Masters of the Water", were credited with founding human civilization after arriving in an ark, which Temple posits to be an interstellar spaceship. Even more intriguing, however, is the name "Oge-Make", which might be related to the Dogon's "Ogo", a word that they use to refer to our solar system, and to humankind itself in all our cosmic impurity.
As I touched upon earlier, in the Epilogue of The Stargate Conspiracy, the authors theorize that the true stargate of the Heliopolitan religion as revealed in the ancient "Pyramid Texts" and other Egyptian sources, as well as the seemingly advanced knowledge of the African Dogon tribe, might be connected with the shamanic experience and the use of psychoactive substances. This "revolutionary possibility [that] began to take shape" in the 'Stargate' authors' minds, is exactly how, in July of 1947, Oge-Make takes his journey to "Planet One" in the Sirian system.
"UPON THE PATHWAY OF FLAMES DO I WALK..."
In order to deliver a message and seek answers to Navaho concerns about certain threatening governmental programs in the area from the "Great White Fathers" , ostensibly in Washington D.C., the pale son Oge-Make is selected to take a mystic adventure known as walking the Fire-Trail. However, while in an ecstatic trance induced by the hypnotic rhythm of native drums, the throbbing chant by firelight, and an unpleasant tasting concoction prepared by the Medicine Man that he swallows from a pottery goblet (along with smoking something from a red sandstone pipe), instead of journeying out-of-the-body to Washington D.C. to address Indian concerns, Oge-Make takes shamanic flight into the star-dusted blackness, with the planets of the solar system quickly retreating from view. We can assume that this journey involved the consuming of a certain plant with psychoactive properties by the descriptions of his head throbbing and the sudden onslaught of vivid colors while staring into the flaming cedar boughs: "Like swaying orange hands with purple nails - like expanding veils - like corridors - strange undulating corridors..." As the hallucinations grow more intense, Oge-Make is able to walk upon their undulating color of emerald and violet, all the while hearing the prayer-chant: "Upon the pathway of flames do I walk in beauty. Upon the pathway of flames do I walk in knowledge." Once transformed into a higher body of light, he is able to communicate with th