TOOL NEWSLETTER
HALLOWEEN 2019 E.V.
Shown here for the first time is Junior with three Tool decoy-doubles at a recent Kings game. Okay, not really. The photo actually shows some people who are obviously Tool fans in their Halloween costumes with fairly realistic-looking masks, especially the person dressed up as the band’s lighting director. Now that that’s been cleared up, let the Halloween newsletter begin in earnest.
A scary thing happened both on the way and coming back from the Tool show in Glendale, Arizona. So frightening was this that it probably shouldn’t be mentioned on the Internet that children have access to. But, since its Halloween – a time when scary things are the norm – I’ll go ahead and tell you… just this once:
Because my friends and I whiffle-waffled as to whether to make the trip to Phoenix to see the concert, we were forced to seek lodging at a budget hotel in a sketchy part of town (if meth dealers trying to peddle their wares to a garbage cat eating the Doritos of a passed out vagrant seems sketchy to you). I won’t mention the name of the motel (because the staff was friendly), so let’s just call it “Motel Sux.” We probably should have been tipped off by the drably painted castle-like masonry that fortified the postcard picturesque palm-fringed pool-facing rooms within, or that the resident bedbugs were outside protesting the living conditions, but with no rooms left at the Marriot Renaissance Hotel just a short walk from the Gila River Arena, we had no choice to thrown down the hefty $60.00 asking price.
Meanwhile…
Before the show started, I was relieving myself inside one of the venue’s restrooms, when I overheard two concertgoers enthusiastically talking. They weren’t predicting the band’s set list, or analyzing “Fear Inoculum”, but, instead, were comparing notes on one of Maynard’s Caduceus wines, and doing so in an opaque language that could only be understood by experienced tasters. But, wine aficionados speaking vino vernacular in the men’s room at a prog-metal show wasn’t the scary thing.
After the show we made it back to the motel before they lowered the portcullis. In the harsh fluorescent lighting, roaches approached with brazen impunity. Once the lights went out, a Lovecraftian cast appeared (in our nightmares?) The television set turned into the Mi-go (yep, the fungi from Yoggoth!). Night-gaunts (or mice) tickled our feet. The Dorito-eating cat dragged in a zoog and dimensional shamblers argued and slammed doors next to us throughout the night… But, a Lovecraftian bestiary wasn’t the scary part. No, it was in the glaring sunlight of the early morning while checking out (before checking out to see if our cars, too, had been broken into).
It was the FEEDBACK SURVEY (I can still see my brother days later reading this with an incredulous look on his face). Someone at corporate actually wanted us to rate the place. To know if the accommodations were suitable and if we would be likely to recommend the motel to our friends. Handing out a questionnaire in this place was like the Nazis in WWII taking a feedback survey from the American soldiers that stormed Normandy Beach. Asking questions like: Was the constant barrage of artillery from MG-42s in the bunkers adequate? How about the beach fortifications – was our defense system satisfactory? Could we have improved anything to make you more likely to invade us again should another war break out? A FEEDBACK SURVEY!
Well, as scary as it was, this story has a happy ending (just like the firm adaptation of Stephan King’s “The Mist.”) While in Danny’s dressing room after the show, when it came time to take my heart medication, instead of taking the white pill I accidently took the yellow one that I keep in my pocket in case of an emergency. The thing about this yellow pill is that the instructions on the prescription boldly warn of mixing with alcohol. Well, it might be hard to believe (even on Halloween), but I was drinking alcohol… in fact, I took a few shots of the creature. So… barely able to walk, my friends had to help me back to the… motel where I immediately passed out. In doing so, I alone missed out on the horrors. I didn’t even hear the ruckus from the dimensional shamblers.
TOOL TOUR PRINTS
Artwork being an integral component of the Tool experience, for the 2019 Fall tour each event print will be unique. Following the band’s sonic, lyrical, and visual output, intersecting themes from the pneuma of the individual artists coalesque into a transmundane unity. Phantasmal hierophants, nightside archetypes, alien taxonomy and morphological constructs are featured, along with sacred geometry, hidden allegories of spiritual energies, subtle anatomy of occult hyperchemistry and magical radiances of ascending intelligences. Whether you’re a collector pursuing the gamut, or Tool enthusiast wanting a souvenir from the show, inspired works from the impressive list of artistic contributors are sure to enhance your surroundings.
CONTRIBUTERS:
Adi Granov
IG: www.instagram.com/adigranov/
FB: www.facebook.com/AdiGranovIllustration/
Alex Grey
IG: https://www.instagram.com/alexgreycosm/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/alexgreycosm/
FB: https://www.facebook.com/AlexGreyCoSM/
Allen Williams
IG: @I_JustDraw
Twitter: @ijustdraw
FB: www.facebook.com/AllenWilliamsArt
Carly Schmitt
Chet Zar
IG: @chetzar
Eliza Ivanova
IG: @eleeza
Esad Ribic
Twitter: @eribic
Jeff Nentrup
IG: @nentopia
Twitter: @nentopia
FB: https://www.facebook.com/jeff.nentrup
Jnk Artwork
FB: www.facebook.com/jnk2007art
Joyce Su
IG: @joycesu
Mark Brooks
IG: @markbrooksart
Twitter: http://twitter.com/markbrooksart
FB: http://facebook.com/artofmarkbrooks
Maxim Verehin
IG: https://www.instagram.com/maxverehin/
Miles Johnston
IG: @miles_art
Robbie Trevino
IG: https://www.instagram.com/robbietrevinoart/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/RobbieSTrevino
https://www.artstation.com/robbietrevino/albums/all
Heart medication? Take care of yourself BMB.
I want tacos
Did you fill out the feed back survey?
Reputation management is key to business success.
Baaahahahaha , thanks for the laughs. Hopefully a Houston event poster ends up in Store.
good stuff Blair!
Sounds like the cat and I would get along great. If you are ever passing through Gary, IN the Dollar Inn is a convenient proximity to I80 in case you blow a tire on one of the Volkswagen sized potholes at midnight. Ashtrays are thoughtfully secured to the nightstands and T.V.’s bracketed to the wall, I seemed to have misplaced the Feedback survey but wanted to get the word out for those following the trail of TOOL posters this tour and, given the TripAdvisor nature of the Newsletter, felt appropriate to share.
Once intuggable, now this **** head's swelling big.
https://rover.ebay.com/rover/0/0/0?mpre=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ebay.de%2Fulk%2Fitm%2F223727511284
Now this is scary.
Shitty pressed counterfeit vinyl.
Was only a matter time
Dont wait much longer lads to announce the OFFICIAL vinyl.
BMB gonna BMB.
The posters have been tits. Thanks.
Cheers for that