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NEWSLETTERS 2000 - 2017

TOOL NEWSLETTER MAY, 2000 E.V.   This month's newsletter is dedicated to the memory of Terrance McKenna, psychonaut extraordinare who passed into Universe B with a refined perichoresis on April 3, 2000 e.v. at 2:15 Pacific Time. Terrance's transformation was brought about by a brain tumor(a genetic trait unrelated to his experimentation with psychoactive substances)which serves as further evidence that humankind was a low-budget creation. Well-equipped for the journey, he's now on that great court betwixt the stars with its denizens of self-dribbling, jeweled basketballs. With the lawsuit now behind them,TOOL continues to make progress doing what they do best- writing music....


TOOL NEWSLETTER JULY 2020 E.V. Seeing how we all look like Zorro, stores don't have two nickles to rub together, cardboard cutouts at MLB games can't duck out of the way of foul balls, murder hornets and rubber bullets are buzzing about, the Riemann hypothesis (Problem 8) still hasn't been solved, the 'dog days' are here and comet Neowise is fuzzily streaking by like a portent of further doom (closest approach to earth was JULY 23!), before a coronal mass ejection melts the ice in your glass, it might very well be time to construct a crisis cocktail.  For those who didn't...


TOOL NEWSLETTER JUNE 2019 E.V. With only two more shows to go on Tool’s current European tour, the only news I’ve received so far is how damn hot it is – with the Autobahn melting and temperatures exceeding those in Death Valley, how Danny just missed out on purchasing in England a 1659 first edition of Meric Causabon’s “ A True and Faithful Relation of what Passed for Many Rears Between Dr. John Dee and some Spirits”, and how some of the band members got to hang out with Tool fans employed by CERN in Zurich, Switzerland. For those who don’t know, the...


TOOL NEWSLETTER MAY, 2019 E.V. Making better Scrabble players for nineteen years May 2019 marks the nineteenth anniversary of my writing the official Tool newsletters. As such, I’d like to answer one of the questions that I’m frequently asked: how did I get entrusted with the job of being the writer/content manager of the band’s official website? Although I have answered this in the past, there is a new generation of equally pitchkettled fans that might not have heard the story. So here goes… Back in early 2000 or late 1999, someone affiliated with the band (I don’t remember who) asked me to write...