TOOL NEWSLETTER
JUNE 2019 E.V.
With only two more shows to go on Tool’s current European tour, the only news I’ve received so far is how damn hot it is – with the Autobahn melting and temperatures exceeding those in Death Valley, how Danny just missed out on purchasing in England a 1659 first edition of Meric Causabon’s “ A True and Faithful Relation of what Passed for Many Rears Between Dr. John Dee and some Spirits”, and how some of the band members got to hang out with Tool fans employed by CERN in Zurich, Switzerland.
For those who don’t know, the scientists and engineers for the European Organization of Nuclear Research are either using the world’s largest particle accelerator (maybe?) to conduct research into the nature of the universe and get answers to fundamental questions concerning exotic physics, such as antimatter, wormholes etc., or, for those of a conspiratorial bent, they’re secretly using the powerful energy of the Large Hadron Collider to create an Orion Stargate (i.e. teleportation portal) that would allow humans to take twenty steps into the abode of the aliens from Zeta Ridiculous.
Even though some of the CERN workers are Tool enthusiasts (and pose for photos while raising the horns) this doesn’t change my mind as to the true purpose of the LHC. And, besides, its currently down for maintenance (?), so no instantaneous deliveries of strawberry ice cream to the Orion Delta, opening the rusty gates to hell or any conCERNs whatsoever about accidently erasing the known universe with their Higgs-Boson “god” particle. At least until they ramp up again (pun not intended).
And then there was a video sent by Adam of the “Cloud” sculpture (Prototype 6) at the Zurich airport. I don’t know about you, but the sleek silver thing doesn’t look like a dead-ringer of a Zeta Reticulan shuttlecraft to me.
Thanks to Justin and Shelee for the photos. Also, to Adam for the video and to Junior for the CERN heads up. Special thanks to Rynne Stump for the stage shots posted previously.
i am one of thohose loners that don't trust people but I trust a tool band theory in my head it is how aliens on SIRIUS XM THE DOg Star has another dwarf star behind it and the africans knew about its existence tantilum is a mineral or something used in all our devices and those people are going to go to heaven for those African countries you have to pay to get a job I am disabled literally but I know there are aliens out there I saw the Devil in my bedroom a hologram of Baphomet he was blue and black and he had boobs and a big dick and a goat head with arms diagonally opposed and his penis kept getting biggeear it was a tactile hallucination on cough medicine but I really worshiped for a long time until I gave it up to Jesus cause you know our calendar and everything is associated with his death I really hope he comes back to earth this band is sppecial to me because it gave me a way out of my parents stupid strict upbringing in the Mormon Church so I am a bit fond of Maynard as my father figure he was my hero I don't like it when people die or have aneurysms that's sad I believe there is something better than just thinking my life a way I can't work I am a suicide survivor but I am happy to exist here and i love this band i hate to admit that I really didn't think they were gonna put out a new record and so I loved Marilyn Manson and then I just love music I dance to Tool and exercise sometimes it inspires me to do better things and to live on rock on I been through hell I just want to be me
I watched some internet videos about this kid who was saying that CERN has teleported us into a parallel dimension. This was his explanation of the Mandela effect.
So many truths.
Thank you for this Newsletter.
I would like to comment I felt in June the idea our CERN may be more than meets the knowledge base, could be afoot- although my alien encounters stargate philosophy bank is low- it has, like, 10 cents in it. Maybe. Stargate-wise. Aliens otherwise, I think they like to keep to themselves, and maybe a small quadrant. I believe in the love of an alien goddess- for surely everybody gets a goddess? I would like to think so. So I do. Nice article!
Why wasn't there a presale for the meet and greet at CERN for TA? I paid $50 for this and all I got was a t-shirt and a key chain. I sure hope their European Tour has blown audiences away like they do stateside. I was listening to a bootleg of "Descending?" on my way home form work today and every hair on my body stands on end when Adam breaks into that solo followed by Danny's bong! Cheers TOOL!!! Junior, always great to see you smile and your lights are spot on this tour! Anixiously await Aug. 30th Spiral Out;)