NEWSLETTER

TOOL NEWSLETTER

JULY 2020 E.V.

Seeing how we all look like Zorro, stores don’t have two nickles to rub together, cardboard cutouts at MLB games can’t duck out of the way of foul balls, murder hornets and rubber bullets are buzzing about, the Riemann hypothesis (Problem 8) still hasn’t been solved, the ‘dog days’ are here and comet Neowise is fuzzily streaking by like a portent of further doom (closest approach to earth was JULY 23!), before a coronal mass ejection melts the ice in your glass, it might very well be time to construct a crisis cocktail.  For those who didn’t purchase my collectible glass set (with recipes) back in more normal times, and for those who have asked for the list of ingredients, here it is – for those of legal drinking age who are not operating motor vehicles or going out into public (even looking to murder a hornet).

Keep in mind two things:  the sequence of ingredients is important  and do NOT drink more than two in a session. Concerning the latter, you might think you’re handling this cocktail well, but half way through the third, LOOK OUT!  Best to stick with no more than two over time, even if you’re an experienced drinker!

CRISIS COCKTAIL (also known as “Choronzom 333”)

Fill a tall glass with a good amount of ice.  ADD contents in this sequence (WITHOUT STIRRING).

I oz. GIN

I oz. VODKA

I oz. APRICOT BRANDY

3 oz. Chandon Rose PINK CHAMPAGNE (any cheap stuff)

2 oz premium GINGER ALE

Splash CHERRY LIQUEUR (or GRENADINE)

Garnish with a slice of orange.

ENJOY RESPONSIBLY!